Clueless Mom Need Help with 13 y/o Daughters Hair

[cluelessmom]

Hello everyone. I have been lurking on here for about 4 days and decided that this was my first and last stop. I was reading through different post on Thursday, taking notes and ideas. I just left the beauty store with my notebook and purchased the following products from what I read here:

Aphogee Two Step Protein Treatment
Kera Care Hydrating Shampoo
Deep Penetrating Creme Moisturizer

From what I see with her hair, I see that it is very very dry, brittle and broken. She has always had a head full of long THICK hair, but for the last two years it has taken a turn for the worse due to swimming pools and the ocean. I have tried everything I knew to recover it, taking her to the salon every other wee, twist, braids, micros, etc. Last year the braids grew her hair really well but then the summer came again and we are back to step one even though I was using chlorine removal shampoo and conditioning it each and every time. She has had braids since August and this time, that didnt seem to do the trick. I took them out last weekend, permed her hair, it is still short and unhealthy looking. So after reading here all night Thursday instead of listening in class that if she could give me a year with no braids, twist, minimal swimming and following the direction given on here that she should see a difference.

LONG STORY SHORT I NEED HELP! I have these products but dont which comes first, how long or how often. Thank you all in advance for your help.

 

[ms.blue]

Is your daughter's hair natural or relaxed? Have you tried oiling her hair prior her going into the pool or applying any product? My personal preference is to do a clarifying shampoo before doing a protein treatment but for the products you have, the order is as follow
-shampoo
-protein treatment (must be followed by a moisturizing treatment)
-moisturizer.

Are you going to blow dry or airdry her hair afterwards?

 

[cluelessmom]

Ms. Blue thanks for your response. Her hair is relaxed. I am going to put her under a sit under hair dryer. Ok, I can go buy the clarifying shampoo, do you recommend a brand?

 

[feelfree]

I love ORS Creamy Aloe shampoo. It is readily available at Target, Walmart, Walgreens, etc. for about $6. I also use V05 Kiwi Clarifying Shampoo. Alos readily available and usually under $1

 

[hairmaster]

Do you do your' own hair? I suggest using argan oil as a leave-in be for sitting under dryer.

 

[cutiebe2]

I wish you the best of luck.

The only thing I can say is be careful with Aphogee. If you are new to all this you may want to hold off until you really get a handle on things. Deep conditioning and moisturizing are important to get down first. If you really want to use a protein, Aphogree 2-min reconstruction is good (its med strength) but its not as difficult to use. You just leave in for 2 mins or so and rinse out.

 

[curlicarib]

I would stay away from the aphogee 2 step. This is a VERY strong protein and it could make things worse it not used properly. For protein try aphogee 2 MINUTE. Use it as instructed - leave on for 2 minutes and rinse. Moisturise well and protective style. Good luck.

 

[shasha8685]

Also, check your DD's porosity (ability of the hair to hold onto moisture). A quick way to do that is to see how rapidly her hair air dries post wash (prior to my journey, post wash, my hair would be bone dry within 10min...that's NOT supposed to happen).

I sounds like your daughter's hair may not be holding onto moisture like it should.


How often does she relax her and and what products do you currently use?

 

[chickory_bee]

I would say NO on the protein for now. If the damage is chlorine damage, her hair is dry already and protein will appear to make it drier (especially if her hair needs moisture).

I would suggest deep conditioning at least weekly, and part of that with heat (steam/dryer). I don't think she needs to stop swimming, rather, she needs to moisturize then seal her hair, and before getting in to the pool, she should wet her hair with clean, non chlorinated water first (completely drench it) and apply conditioner (a generous amount of leave in will work). When she gets out, rinse for a while with clean, non chlorinated water, and then condition it before shampooing (swimmers shampoos are sometimes harsh so if she makes sure to reduce wet hair and use a conditioner first, it will reduce the amount of chlorine her hair absorbs and reduce the need for such a harsh shampoo). When I used to swim (I'm a 4a/b natural) the frequent shampooing made my hair very dry. I found that moisturizing my hair and then following the water rinsing process, really helped me. Hope it helps her too!

 

[sikora]

Since she swims a lot I would recommend Aubrey Organics Swimmer's conditioner. It can be used as a deep conditioning treatment and it's the vegan version of their GPB conditioner which is a great (but not harsh) deep treatment

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[tarheelgurl]

My only suggestion is to saturate the hair with conditioner before swimming. That helped for me. I wouldn't try to hard conditioners so soon. Maybe do an egg or mayo treatment.

 

[ThickHair]

I I don't think she needs to stop swimming, rather, she needs to moisturize then seal her hair, and before getting in to the pool, she should wet her hair with clean, non chlorinated water first (completely drench it) and apply conditioner (a generous amount of leave in will work).

My only suggestion is to saturate the hair with conditioner before swimming. That helped for me. I wouldn't try to hard conditioners so soon. Maybe do an egg or mayo treatment.

Personally I am againsts applying conditioner prior to swimming as water gets under the swim cap, the conditioner will run into her eyes and burn like the dickens. I am more pro saturate her hair with water only then put on the cap and then when she is finished continue on with a hair regime.

I tried the conditioner trick once and when that conditioner hit my eyes I was done. NOT PRETTY.

 

[silenttullip]

totally agree with every word. If it wasn't already here it's what I would say. I'll add find a good oil for sealing like olive, argan, or sesame or any other be careful with coconut and grab a nice moisturizer. Look at the one you bought and see what the 1st 5 ingredients are, let us know if you.want.
Also for a good conditioner keracare makes a nice one to match the shampoo you bought so does Aubrey organics.
as for the conditioner after swimming Aubrey also makes a swimmers conditioner if you put it before she swims only do it if she goes capless. Something that won't run easily like hello hydration should be fine if it does burn her eyes discontinue and use a swimmers shampoo and a moisturizing deep conditioner

I would say NO on the protein for now. If the damage is chlorine damage, her hair is dry already and protein will appear to make it drier (especially if her hair needs moisture).

I would suggest deep conditioning at least weekly, and part of that with heat (steam/dryer). I don't think she needs to stop swimming, rather, she needs to moisturize then seal her hair, and before getting in to the pool, she should wet her hair with clean, non chlorinated water first (completely drench it) and apply conditioner (a generous amount of leave in will work). When she gets out, rinse for a while with clean, non chlorinated water, and then condition it before shampooing (swimmers shampoos are sometimes harsh so if she makes sure to reduce wet hair and use a conditioner first, it will reduce the amount of chlorine her hair absorbs and reduce the need for such a harsh shampoo). When I used to swim (I'm a 4a/b natural) the frequent shampooing made my hair very dry. I found that moisturizing my hair and then following the water rinsing process, really helped me. Hope it helps her too!

 

[cluelessmom]

Thank you all so much! I new that you would be a great help. I checked her porosity, it seems to be fine. I didnt do the Aphogee after reading here. I did wash with Tresemme Moisture Rich three times, followed by Deep Penetrating Creme Moisturizer and put her under the dryer for 20 to deep condition ??? I assumed thats what deep conditioned meant.. I then wrapped it with and sat her under the dryer for about 45 minutes. It came out ok, looked a lot better but still had that dry look..She liked it because it was bouncy and flowy. But I dont like that look at all. Is there a moisturizer/glossy oil I can use on her hair a few days a week to give it that shine but not clog her pores and weigh it down?

The perm I use on her hair is TCB Regular and the neutrilizer is Isoplus. I will have to look these up, (olive, argan, or sesame)the Chinese man in the store was clueless when I started asking about all the products that I did buy.

The first 5 ingredients are: Purified Water, Cetyl Alcohol, Cetearyl Alcohol, Ceteareth-20, Mineral Oil.

I dont think I have to worry about her swimming much anymore, she is at the age where she is waaaaaaaaaaayyy more worried about having pretty hair and sitting by the pool as opposed to swimming.

 

[cluelessmom]

Oh, I forgot to ask if Aloxxi botanic oil is a good oil to use on her hair every few days or so for moisture and shine. Ingredients are: Helianthus annuus, sunflower seed oil, coconut oil, olive fruit oil, almond oil, sesame oil, avacado oil, grape seed oil and BHT.

 

[Poranges]

Ms. Blue thanks for your response. Her hair is relaxed. I am going to put her under a sit under hair dryer. Ok, I can go buy the clarifying shampoo, do you recommend a brand?

A basic relaxed regimen for you to revive damaged hair.

Products:
-Clarifying Shampoo
-Moisturizing Shampoo
-Deep Conditioner
-Protein Treatment
-Leave In Conditioner
-Daily Moisturizer
-Oil

Tools:
-Wide Tooth Comb
-Silk Scarf

Method:
-Shampoo & Deep Condition 1x Weekly
-Apply Leave Ins
-Create LOW heat, LOW manipulation styles (e.g; buns, braids)
-Moisturize & Oil 1x Daily

You could give her a 1/2 inch to 1 inch trim to start off fresh. Be VERY gentle with her hair.

 

[Poranges]

Product Suggestions:

-Clarifying Shampoo: KeraCare 1st Lather Shampoo
-Moisturizing Shampoo: KeraCare Hydrating Detangling Shampoo
-Deep Conditioner: Organix Macadamia Masque OR KeraCare Humecto
-Protein Treatment: Affirm 5 in 1 Reconstructor
-Leave In Conditioner: Keracare Natural Textures Leave In Conditioner
-Daily Moisturizer: KeraCare Overnight Moisture Cream
-Oil: Any NATURAL oil of your choice

These are all GREAT products that can be found locally.

 

[cluelessmom]

Poranges, thank you for the step by step and the product listing, Lord knows I needed it. THANK YOU!!!

 

[NIN4eva]

Hi, You're using a no-lye relaxer so you need a chelating shampoo as opposed to just a clarifying shampoo go here http://thebeautybrains.com/2008/03/10/clarifying-chelating-and-neutralizing-shampoos/ to read up on those. No-lye relaxers are notorious for leaving you with hard, dry hair. I use them, I chelate regularly and have not gone back to clarifying.

I ask that you please do not limit your daughter's physical activities (swimming, etc.) to keep her hair looking cute. I know you've mentioned that she may be moving in that direction as well, but it's just kind of sad.

You don't need heat to deep condition. You can spot a true deep conditioner by the time you need to leave it on the hair. If the instructions say to leave in on more than 5 minutes, it's a deep conditioner... and leave those on without heat for about 20-30 minutes. You may want to try a product that helps the deep conditioner penetrate properly. Check out http://www.sallybeauty.com/porosity-coditioner/SBS-700815,default,pd.html?cm_vc=SEARCH In In fact, this whole line has changed my no-lye relaxed world!

 

[NIN4eva]

"Clarifying Shampoo: KeraCare 1st Lather Shampoo" This stuff leaves you squeaky clean which in my opinion is a horrible thing for relaxed hair. I suggest Organic Root Stimulator Creamy Aloe to chelate.

 

[NIN4eva]

I'd like more info, and please feel free to put me in my place if you've already mentioned it and I missed it -

How often do you relax her hair?

How do you conditioner her hair after rinsing her relaxer?

What leave-in's are you using? You'd be surprised that sometimes all you need is distilled water to moisturize (not tap, as it has minerals and funky PH levels) and oil to seal. You may not need a manufactured leave-in conditioner at all.)

And dare I blaspheme around here... how tight are her curls naturally? I ask because she may not even need a full strength relaxer.

Are you guys going for bone straight hair? What is her additional goal... length, cute straight styles or just manageability? Health is ultimately number one, you can't have the others without it.

 

[cluelessmom]

Thank you Nin4eva. I am sorry I am just now answering, between trying to sell my house and grad school, I dont know which way is up.

You are fine, you are trying to help me, any questions you have please ask. I relax her hair about every 6-8 weeks. Until last sunday she had not had a perm since the summer because she had been alternating between twist and micro braids. When I am done relaxing, I wash it with the Isoplus neutralizing shampoo, I had been conditioning with Organics root stimulator conditioner, but this time I used Deep Penetrating Creme Moisturizer. I dont use any leave-ins or anything, the above 2 steps is all I would do, then either wrap it or roll it and put her under the dryer. I always put her under the dryer with the conditioner because in my mind, thats what "deep" conditioning was....LOLOL. Before getting the braids she was seeing the stylist every 3 weeks.


I am not really sure how tight her curls are, I just know at the 4 weeks mark she needs a perm and we stretch another 2 sometimes 3 depending on if she has ball games all weekend or not. I typically go for bone straight, that tells me the perm took, if that makes since. REMIND YOU I AM CLUELESS. Her goal is for her hair to be back down her back again.

 

[NIN4eva]

I really, REALLY suggest using a moisturizing leave-in. Roux makes great ones. Or least a little oil (olive, jojoba, grapeseed...) while her hair is still damp and before you style it. Sealing in that moisture seriously necessary for relaxed hair. Get that hair wet and seal in moisture as often as possible. I rinse my hair a few times a week in the shower with or without conditioner, just to get that moisture and seal it in. This is easier if you're pretty low maintenance daily, or if you just want to give your hair a rest.

Just adding the leave-in step could turn things around. Maybe tie down her edges with a smooth scarf and let her hair airdry sometimes? Airdrying can be a big game changer for relaxed hair in the best way.

Is it the Fantasia IC Deep Penetrating Creme Moisturizer? It's got protein in it, which can harden hair if the hair's not properly moisturized afterward. I've never used this particular product (or brand) and I can't find a list of ingredients online. How did you like the results? Did you notice any difference in her hair?