My dry bittle natural hair is driving me insane! Help?!!!

[zoromo]

Hello Ladies,
I have been a lurker on this site for a while and am now a member. I have 4a/b type hair and have been natural, this go round, for 2 years. Over the past 10 years I have been mostly natural (with maybe a year or so of perm during this time). Until I found lhcf, I did not care about length and thought my hair would not grow past neck length ( as I had not been longer than that ever in life). My hair would feel dry and I would cut the ends and never get past 5 or 6 inches. Since coming this site, I realized that brittleness was just dryness and/or ssk. I also lived in a place with very hard water.

I saw Sera, Rustic beauty, Mwdezi and others and thought that could be possible, but after 2 years of better practices, I am not convinced. I know my hair can grow, but retention and dryness are hard to fix. It is longer than it has been since I was a child, but still I should be way past this point. I had to cut a lot due to knots. My hair is feeling dryer than ever and is knotty.

In terms of porosity, my hair floast all day. Its like I wet it, it feels nice for maybe a day and it is back to dry city. When it is dry, it breaks so easily. I do not know why. I feel like I want to perm this stuff, but when I do that I do not like the way it feels. I texlaxed last week and it did not help at all ( I only left it in for like 3 minutes because I got scared). I still have my fro it may have loosened my hair by no more than 10%, if that.

I do not know how to combat this dry brittle feeling. I tried kimmaytube leave-in and I do like it for a little while, I tried all sorts of products ( s-curl products, kinky curly etc.) and nothing really keeps my hair moist and brittle free more than one day.

I DC and wash once a week and spritz with water and seal with various oils as needed. I do flat iron from time to time (usually once a month) because I was thinking of heat training (to combat knots), but my hair is resistant ( I wanted to do it slowly because the Dominican shops are too extreme for me).

Please give me suggestions on how to keep my hair moist and not brittle?

 

[*CherryPie*]

You are not natural anymore if you put relaxer on it...even for 3 minutes.

But, back on the subject. I have very dry hair too. Do you DC with heat? I must DC with heat to get my hair conditioned. My cuticles are shut so tightly that heat is required to open the hair's cuticle for moisture to enter....or i'll have a dry bush.

 

[Minty]

You should try something different now. If you have that many knots I assume you are wearing your hair out alot (?) If so, that's not for you. Your ends have to stay protected if you want to 1. avoid knots and 2. see length

I'd also suggest increasing your deep conditioning regimen and along with that add some heat or extended time on the condition. (steamer, heat cap, hood/bonnet dryer, plastic cap and wool cap, etc)

see @wwestNDNbeautyy for great styling tips or kimmaytube for how to care for your hair tips. I'm not big on the YT vids but those two offer worthwhile advice.

And please don't be discouraged. Those ssk's are annoying indeed, but there are ways to get around them so you can reach your length goals.

 

[zoromo]

Re: My dry bittle hair is driving me insane! Help?!!!

You are right I am not natural anymore! It still feels the same, but you are right!

I do not DC with heat too much, but when I do I do not notice much of a change ( except, once when I got a steam treatment long ago, it seemed to help). I will try it and pay attention to see if that helps.
Thanks!

 

[Bublin]

My way of finally combating hair that was dry and crispy is not that popular here but it bloody well works. It's not about the leave-in products, it's all about the sealing in of them.
If the product you are using to seal in the moisture with is evaporating or absorbing into the hair at the same rate as your moisturiser then you are going to have hair that is very dry and brittle. Jojoba, Olive Oil, Grapseed, ceramides.....what-ev-er!!!
My hair is very porous and this is what was happening. I was spending lots of money, trying to find a moisturiser that would stop the brittleness but they all failed. baggying was only good for as long as i had the baggy on my head. DCing quite honestly didn't make any difference. Roux PC - mmm that was OK, ACV, yeah that was OK i suppose but no real change in the dryness.

I am having excellent results with using Dax (you can use any pomade) or Castor Oil (my natural alternative) on wet hair, after whatever products i choose to use for added moisture. I apply a thin layer of Dax in sections and carry on styling. When i'm done i tie my hair down and the next morning my hair is soft and blinging. No more fuzzy, dry hair.

My hair has done a 360 since doing heavy sealing and there isn't much build up as the Dax does absorb but just really slowly. My ends are smooth and no longer crispy.

HTH.

 

[Nayna]

What other products are you using?

 

[Minty]

It also seems like you aren't using the right products for your hair.

glycerine (S-Curl) may not work for your hair
oil may not work for your hair (by itself)

Water is fine, but if you have hard water, it defeats the purpose to use water as your main leave-in moisturizer. At this point you probably need a product overhaul.

- less shampoo MORE conditioner
- co-wash/deep condition in braids
- creamy leave-in conditioner, concentrate on the ends, seal w/oil
- keep your hair banded
- lay off the heavy glycerine and opt for a "shea/aloe" type mix (for some who can't work with glycerine, they are successful w/aloe)

 

[knt1229]

You should try an ACV rinse after shampooing but before conditioning. I had problems with the crown of my head being dry no matter what I put on it. After switching to a sulfate free shampoo and doing the ACV rinse once a week my hair has snapped back. I believe the ACV rinse is more responsible for the change than the shampoo.

ETA: If you have hard water you should clarify your hair to remove the mineral deposits that can build up on your hair. Make sure the clarifier you choose will remove the mineral deposits. I use Nexxus Aloe Rid.

 

[zoromo]

You should try something different now. If you have that many knots I assume you are wearing your hair out alot (?) If so, that's not for you. Your ends have to stay protected if you want to 1. avoid knots and 2. see length

I'd also suggest increasing your deep conditioning regimen and along with that add some heat or extended time on the condition. (steamer, heat cap, hood/bonnet dryer, plastic cap and wool cap, etc)

see @wwestNDNbeautyy for great styling tips or kimmaytube for how to care for your hair tips. I'm not big on the YT vids but those two offer worthwhile advice.

And please don't be discouraged. Those ssk's are annoying indeed, but there are ways to get around them so you can reach your length goals.

I will need to PS more ( the only thing that stay moist are mini twist). I have watched many Youtubers and have a good idea about how to style my hair. The issue I have is the dryness. I dont wear my hair out on the regular, but when I do, it is a problem. If I PS my hair when wet that is the worst (like when i do a pinned style, when I take that down it feels horid).

How is it that my hair feels so brittle and dry at times, but when I try to do a roller set of any kind it takes so long to dry?

 

[NappyNelle]

How are you wearing your hair daily? I also want to know the products you are using. Your hair shouldn't feel that way so often. We will help! Don't feel discouraged.

 

[zoromo]

My way of finally combating hair that was dry and crispy is not that popular here but it bloody well works. It's not about the leave-in products, it's all about the sealing in of them.
If the product you are using to seal in the moisture with is evaporating or absorbing into the hair at the same rate as your moisturiser then you are going to have hair that is very dry and brittle. Jojoba, Olive Oil, Grapseed, ceramides.....what-ev-er!!!
My hair is very porous and this is what was happening. I was spending lots of money, trying to find a moisturiser that would stop the brittleness but they all failed. baggying was only good for as long as i had the baggy on my head. DCing quite honestly didn't make any difference. Roux PC - mmm that was OK, ACV, yeah that was OK i suppose but no real change in the dryness.

I am having excellent results with using Dax (you can use any pomade) or Castor Oil (my natural alternative) on wet hair, after whatever products i choose to use for added moisture. I apply a thin layer of Dax in sections and carry on styling. When i'm done i tie my hair down and the next morning my hair is soft and blinging. No more fuzzy, dry hair.

My hair has done a 360 since doing heavy sealing and there isn't much build up as the Dax does absorb but just really slowly. My ends are smooth and no longer crispy.

HTH.

Thanks!!! Funny you should say that, I really like castor oil and I use Dax to lay my sides down or when I do an afro puff from time to time. It does help make my hair lay down. But that has been part of my natural tool kit from day one and has not let me down with smoothing. However, how much do you use per section, do you apply a warm rag to each section to make it more malleable, and what do you use to shampoo it out?

 

[NYDee]

Queen Helene Cholesterol helped me with shedding and dryness. Using French perm also got rid of the brittle feeling.

 

[Evolving78]

your hair sounds like mine.

Qhemet Biologics Cocoa Detangling Ghee and Alma and Heavy Cream together!

 

[Minty]

I suspect you could have mineral buildup - which would explain the excessive dryness and your hair's porosity is off.

You can deal with this by getting a chelating shampoo - Organic Root Stimulator makes one *I can't tell you how effective it is, I've never tried it*, There's also Aubrey Organics Swimmer's Shampoo, Phyto Organics Kelate, Kenra chelating shampoo, Avalon Organics Clarifying conditioner.

After you use the chelating shampoo, DC with a moisture rich conditioner that contains alittle protein like wheat protein - with heat, and follow up with a heavy oil like castor oil with your twist your hair.

HIH

 

[zoromo]

It also seems like you aren't using the right products for your hair.

glycerine (S-Curl) may not work for your hair
oil may not work for your hair (by itself)

Water is fine, but if you have hard water, it defeats the purpose to use water as your main leave-in moisturizer. At this point you probably need a product overhaul.

- less shampoo MORE conditioner
- co-wash/deep condition in braids
- creamy leave-in conditioner, concentrate on the ends, seal w/oil
- keep your hair banded
- lay off the heavy glycerine and opt for a "shea/aloe" type mix (for some who can't work with glycerine, they are successful w/aloe)

I tried s curl in the past and it did not work, I was just mentioning all the products I tried. Glycerine products do not work for me neither does shea butter. Castor oil seems to work best and water. I think you are right that I am going to need to wear braids most of the time at this point if I want to avoid knots and shampoo less. Thanks for your time and advice.

 

[zoromo]

I wear diff styles. Most often I wear pinned styles, twists, and twist outs from time to time in that order. As for products, I used to buy all these things I read about on here, but have since kept it simple. I use water, castor oil, knot today, aloe vera juice/gel and DCs. Thanks for responding!

How are you wearing your hair daily? I also want to know the products you are using. Your hair shouldn't feel that way so often. We will help! Don't feel discouraged.

 

[zoromo]

You should try an ACV rinse after shampooing but before conditioning. I had problems with the crown of my head being dry no matter what I put on it. After switching to a sulfate free shampoo and doing the ACV rinse once a week my hair has snapped back. I believe the ACV rinse is more responsible for the change than the shampoo.

ETA: If you have hard water you should clarify your hair to remove the mineral deposits that can build up on your hair. Make sure the clarifier you choose will remove the mineral deposits. I use Nexxus Aloe Rid.

I Have not been consistent with ACV but will try it. I think you are right concerning the hard water. I have not tried a chleating shampoo yet and that could be the culprit. I will keep you all posted on this one.
Thank you!

 

[zoromo]

I suspect you could have mineral buildup - which would explain the excessive dryness and your hair's porosity is off.

You can deal with this by getting a chelating shampoo - Organic Root Stimulator makes one *I can't tell you how effective it is, I've never tried it*, There's also Aubrey Organics Swimmer's Shampoo, Phyto Organics Kelate, Kenra chelating shampoo, Avalon Organics Clarifying conditioner.

After you use the chelating shampoo, DC with a moisture rich conditioner that contains alittle protein like wheat protein - with heat, and follow up with a heavy oil like castor oil with your twist your hair.

HIH

I will get one of those shampoos ASAP!!! I also have not used much protein because though I learned about moisture, protein is another beast. That is another thread lol. I need to read up on that.
You have been really helpful to me and I appreciate you help and the help of all the ladies here that have given me tips.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

I went out of town to visit my mom and washed and DC'd my hair there. I didn't think to ask if she had hard water, I should've known because she lives in a large city. That water made my hair feel like hard dry crap even after a few hours of DCing. My hair is used to well water out here in the country and when I move to the city I refuse to wash my hair without a shower filter or bath ball or something. Have you tried a water filter???

 

[Bublin]

Thanks!!! Funny you should say that, I really like castor oil and I use Dax to lay my sides down or when I do an afro puff from time to time. It does help make my hair lay down. But that has been part of my natural tool kit from day one and has not let me down with smoothing. However, how much do you use per section, do you apply a warm rag to each section to make it more malleable, and what do you use to shampoo it out?

Well how does the sides of your puff feel? - the area that you apply the Dax too. I assume you are applying it to wet/damp hair.
If that area feels good why not try it on all of your hair.

Zoromo, what do you mean by warm rag?
After i wash my hair and apply my leave-ins i always braid my hair so i am applying Dax Light (the light blue one) to each wet section. I actually use a finger scoop full on each section (my sections are fairly big) and then proceed to braid up.

i would post a pic of my braid/bun hair style to give you an idea of how big the sections are but i've already posted it on this forum twice today on 2 different threads .

I use a sulphate/paraben free moisturising shampoo once week, sometimes twice, i only apply it to my scalp. I don't really co-wash as it irritates my scalp. I have also always used ORS Creamy Aloe once in a while as my clarifier as i have hard water. Like i said, there really isn't that much build up.

I am even considering my first wash and go for a very long time using my Dax in sections on soaking wet hair and finger combing through.

 

[zoromo]

Well how does the sides of your puff feel? - the area that you apply the Dax too. I assume you are applying it to wet/damp hair.
If that area feels good why not try it on all of your hair.

Zoromo, what do you mean by warm rag?
After i wash my hair and apply my leave-ins i always braid my hair so i am applying Dax Light (the light blue one) to each wet section. I actually use a finger scoop full on each section (my sections are fairly big) and then proceed to braid up.

i would post a pic of my braid/bun hair style to give you an idea of how big the sections are but i've already posted it on this forum twice today on 2 different threads .

I use a sulphate/paraben free moisturising shampoo once week, sometimes twice, i only apply it to my scalp. I don't really co-wash as it irritates my scalp. I have also always used ORS Creamy Aloe once in a while as my clarifier as i have hard water. Like i said, there really isn't that much build up.

I am even considering my first wash and go for a very long time using my Dax in sections on soaking wet hair and finger combing through.

Ohhhh, I thought you were talking about the dax wax in a red tin can. Are you talking about a grease or the dax in the blue tin that called something like short and neat light? The wax really lays the hair down but it is hard to get out. When you apply it you have to put a hot rag on it to melt the wax and make it easy to brush in. I will look for the one you mentioned.

My braid outs look good, it is just the feel that I am concerned about. I will try your method and see if it works as I have stopped using grease like products for a minute other than the wax, to lay my ends/front down.

Thanks again! I will look for your pics!

 

[Zay-neey]

if you have low porosity. i wouldnt suggest using aloe vera juice. because it is very acidic, and seals the cuticle, and can make it harder for moisture to penetrate, which is bad for us low porosity girls, since moisture already has a hard time getting in. i know this from experience.
we need something alkaline to slightly raise the cuticle and allow moisture to penetrate

i was having the same problem as you, but i fixed it yesterday. i just added baking soda (which is alkaline) to my conditioner. 1/2 cup conditioner, 1/4 cup baking soda, 2 tsp evoo.( adjust to your hair length) and my hair felt soo soft, and moisturized. my hair feels the softest its ever felt. EVER. i was having the same problem as you, not retaining because of dryness. but im sure now that i will never have this problem again.

I realized its most important to use products based on your hairs porosity.

 

[Zay-neey]

I suspect you could have mineral buildup - which would explain the excessive dryness and your hair's porosity is off.

You can deal with this by getting a chelating shampoo - Organic Root Stimulator makes one *I can't tell you how effective it is, I've never tried it*, There's also Aubrey Organics Swimmer's Shampoo, Phyto Organics Kelate, Kenra chelating shampoo, Avalon Organics Clarifying conditioner.

After you use the chelating shampoo, DC with a moisture rich conditioner that contains alittle protein like wheat protein - with heat, and follow up with a heavy oil like castor oil with your twist your hair.

HIH

I tried the ors creamy aloe yesterday, when i did the treatment and it did help!! chelating helped my hair with moisture.

 

[zoromo]

if you have low porosity. i wouldnt suggest using aloe vera juice. because it is very acidic, and seals the cuticle, and can make it harder for moisture to penetrate, which is bad for us low porosity girls, since moisture already has a hard time getting in. i know this from experience.
we need something alkaline to slightly raise the cuticle and allow moisture to penetrate

i was having the same problem as you, but i fixed it yesterday. i just added baking soda (which is alkaline) to my conditioner. 1/2 cup conditioner, 1/4 cup baking soda, 2 tsp evoo.( adjust to your hair length) and my hair felt soo soft, and moisturized. my hair feels the softest its ever felt. EVER. i was having the same problem as you, not retaining because of dryness. but im sure now that i will never have this problem again.

I realized its most important to use products based on your hairs porosity.

I have baking soda and will try it because I have to wash my hair today!!! Thanks. I will let you all know. Of all the things mentioned, I have these at home. Thanks!

 

[NappyNelle]

I wear diff styles. Most often I wear pinned styles, twists, and twist outs from time to time in that order. As for products, I used to buy all these things I read about on here, but have since kept it simple. I use water, castor oil, knot today, aloe vera juice/gel and DCs. Thanks for responding!

Oh, so you are wearing protective styles! Wonderful. zoromo, I know you've already said you'll try baking soda, and I agree that it should help chelate and remove the mineral deposits from the hard water. After following with a moisturizing DC, (ie. Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose, or Giovanni Smooth as Silk Deeper Moisture, concentrating on your ends) seal with your castor oil (concentrating on your ends), and twist it up.

When was your last trim? If it's been over 8 weeks, I would do a light dusting to my ends since you've had the issue of knotting.

 

[newgrowth15]

Welcome to the board Zoromo. I noticed that you use Knot Today. I like the way it smells and feels on the first day when my hair is wet, but it dries my hair out and I get small white flakes in my hair, once it dries. Perhaps, you should try a different leave-in. I like HE Long Term Relationship leave-in. Depending on the style I am wearing, I seal with either olive oil, argan oil or Jane Carter Nourish and Shine. Don't forget to drink plenty of water. Hair needs hydration from the inside out.

 

[chocolat79]

OP, you've gotten great responses and I'd like to add to try steaming and porosity control. My hair STAYED dry no matter what and once I started using Roux Porosity Control on a regular basis and steaming my hair once a week, it has stayed soo moisturized! I mean, unbelievably so. So give steaming a try if you can as well.

 

[Bublin]

zoromo No i'm not using the wax, i'm using the regular Dax Light and it's light blue in colour. My pic is in the Everyday hair thread (a sticky) - its on the last page at the moment.

 

[Curlykale]

My way of finally combating hair that was dry and crispy is not that popular here but it bloody well works. It's not about the leave-in products, it's all about the sealing in of them.
If the product you are using to seal in the moisture with is evaporating or absorbing into the hair at the same rate as your moisturiser then you are going to have hair that is very dry and brittle. Jojoba, Olive Oil, Grapseed, ceramides.....what-ev-er!!!
My hair is very porous and this is what was happening. I was spending lots of money, trying to find a moisturiser that would stop the brittleness but they all failed. baggying was only good for as long as i had the baggy on my head. DCing quite honestly didn't make any difference. Roux PC - mmm that was OK, ACV, yeah that was OK i suppose but no real change in the dryness.

I am having excellent results with using Dax (you can use any pomade) or Castor Oil (my natural alternative) on wet hair, after whatever products i choose to use for added moisture. I apply a thin layer of Dax in sections and carry on styling. When i'm done i tie my hair down and the next morning my hair is soft and blinging. No more fuzzy, dry hair.

My hair has done a 360 since doing heavy sealing and there isn't much build up as the Dax does absorb but just really slowly. My ends are smooth and no longer crispy.

HTH.

I second this. Been textlaxed for 14 years before going natural and my hair was soft and smooth for one week at a time sealing with grease the whole length (I used to use half a bottle of sunsilk leave in underneath). I didn't know anything about haircare practices apart from deep conditioning and using a diffuser but that worked well, and my hair was very dull and porous at the time.

Now my hair does just fine with natural butters and oils, so I avoid it, but it did work 100%.

 

[Urban]

Did I miss it? What's your regimen OP?