RANT at my ungrateful hair!

[wednesday]

First of all, F YOU HAIR!!!!!! After everything i do for you, the time, the money, the tlc you can't ever EVER just act right. For the past two years i have been good to you, i've stopped burning you with my hair dryer, i wash and deep condition you every week (a 4 hour process!!!!!!!!!), i detangle you carefully and gently, I bought a frickin hair steamer for you, and you shrug at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have literally tried hundreds of conditioners because you're just so damn particular aren't you?! I don't comb you unless you're wet and covered in conditioner, i do so with a seamless comb, I stopped putting in those CUTE micro braids, and i barely braid you with extensions anymore. I've used protein because you insist of breaking, you hated it so i used henna and you refuse to respond! Do you realize how much money i've spent on you in shipping costs alone?!I stay watching youtube tutorials, trolling hair forums and seeking advice for your benefit. I constantly protective style. When you act like this you make me feel so ugly. I have done nothing but treat you right and you don't care. You are on thin ice...i am staying away from my hair shears and mirrors right now because if i have to see you and your stupid single strand knots, mid strand knots and split ends, i swear you will be gone in seconds!!!!!!!!!! I won't just cut you low i will scalp you!!!!!!!!!! So i'm giving you a hot oil treatment and i'm gonna give you some more henna tonight..this is your last chance..>DONT PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ms-gg]

LOL!!!!!


Yes ma'am I have been there before and I have chopped my hair out of anger more than once in the past. It really does tick you off when you think you are doing everything right and your hair still wants to act a fool....

 

[Ijanei]

Oh wow, um, first relax (not the perm), take a deep breathe, it seems like you are on the verge of heading to the G building if your hair doesn't act right
but seriously, I understand your frustration and I know it's easy to say "be patient" or "wait it out" but it seems like you are doing things that are not breaking off your hair, not sure what the problem is but I'm sure one of the ladies will give you some advice to tryout or incorporate into your routine.
Sorry to hear you sound like this. I know EXACTLY how you feel

 

[SimplyBlessed]

Lol lol I feel ya

Sent from my HTC Glacier using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[angelc]

Wow! You have so eloquently put into words the sheer annoyance all of us have experienced at some point or another in our hair journey! Hang in there! We understand!

 

[Aireen]

I'm scared for your hair, good luck precious strands...

 

[D.Lisha]

Lol, I know it was a rant....but that whole passage was cute
Hang in there girl, it will get better

 

[EllePixie]

Oh no! Sorry your hair is not cooperating. But just so you know...if you hate protein, henna mimics a protein treatment, so be sure to mix it with moisturizing ingreds, if you haven't already done it.

 

[SND411]

Perhaps your hair is telling you less is more? Simplify your regimen?

 

[Sianna]

OMG!! Are you talking to my hair or yours??!! OP, the issues you are having with your hair sound very similar to what I'm going through with my own! I WISH I had some advice for you, but since I am unable to get my own hair to cooperate, I'm definitely not in a position to help anyone else!

My hair...

1. Does not seem to respond to DC's, steam or protein. Doesn't care WHICH oils or conditioners I use! And Ceramides? My hair could care less!

2. Does not care if I only detangle wet, conditioner saturated hair (using fingers OR wide-tooth comb) its gonna break off anyway.

3. Doesn't care that I'm refraining from heat. It CONTINUES to break off whenever I manipulate it, and I've seen a few split ends as well. erplexed

I am planning a trim this month, hoping that getting rid of the damaged ends will help it to do better. The only reason I'm not extremely frustrated, is because the pieces that break off are very small, normally a quarter of an inch or less. And overall, it still seems to be gaining length, though not as much as I'd like.

I wish I could be more helpful! I really do. Just hang in there! And please try not to make any rash decisions out of frustration or anger!

 

[sensi sweetie]

LMAO, thanks for the morning laugh

It will get better girl, I promise. There are some days I feel the same way. Not laughing at your situation, but you got a funny way of putting your frustration into words

 

[madamdot]

I am going to chime in and say I've been there too. And yes I've grabbed the scissors and gone to town.

I have now learned to clarify, put on some S-curls, bun it up and ignore it during this stage. If I try to do anything I will get frustrated. Then one day I'll wake up and its feeling all lovey dovey again!

 

[kami02]

Love your post! I actually felt this way last week and actually took out the scissors and did a little snipping a few days ago :-/

 

[EMJazzy]

I do understand your frustration.

Sent from my DROIDX using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[halee_J]

Girl I've been there. I cut my hair down to a fade in 2009 for this very same reason. Cutting is not the answer, you gotta figure out what your hair likes. We'll help ya, that's what we're here for About the breakage; does your hair feel brittle? Too much protein can cause breakage by making it too hard so it snaps. You say your hair hates protein, maybe you need more moisture. What kind of leave-ins and deep conditioners do you use?

 

[Rina88]

I know I've been in your shoes before!! What I did to get my sanity back was very simple. I was staying away from heat, and doing all the things I thought a good LHCF'er would do and my hair was feeling like poop. So to avoid cutting I said forget it and did something that would make ME happy. I did a rollerset and flat-ironed, a cute curly style that would last that whole week. That hairstyle made me feel like I had got my "sexy back". I noticed that wow, my hair has come a long way, it's much healthier and fuller. I began to feel proud in my accomplishments and realized I'm a lot better off than I use to be, and better off than most people I saw day-to-day who didn't know much of anything about healthy haircare practices. I gave my hair a break and I did what I wanted..just basic nighttime routine: moisturizing, oiling ends and scarf. While scouring LHCF threads to fix my dilemma (which was breakage). It was tough for me to only touch my hair once a day let alone only wash 1x/week but it kept me from being all angry about it. I knew that I COULD fix this given time.

I hope you don't cut your hair because of frustration because I don't believe that will fix the root of the problem(s). Do you know what products/techniques works and what doesn't? Have you identified what the problem is, ex: breakage, dryness? If you have, then that's a great start and all you need is to look and I'm confident you'll find the answer.

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to basically say I've been there, even telling my hair that it had 1 MORE CHANCE to act right or it's over. When I decided to take a step back and realize it's not that serious, it gave me time to find the solution and implement the proper action.

 

[frizzy]

With both natural and relaxed hair...I've been there AND did that. Hair has been ackin' right ever since.

Give her some moisture. Moisture makes everything better. No henna or protein, just moisture.

 

[lilpooky]

Yes, I cut my hair multiple times when I was natural. Finally, I just decided to relax. Whatever you do, don't relax or make a drastic change to your hair just because you're tired of it. Continue to keep taking care of your hair...no matter how it responds to you.

 

[CherryCherryBoomBoom]

I have been having pretty much the exact same problems and feelings on my own hair journey, so I really feel you. Two and a half years down the line, and my hair is still no where as long as I want it to be .

But maybe two years just isn't enough? I have read posts by women on this forum that say it can take a few years to settle into a regimen that their hair likes and thrives on. You probably just have to keep on going, making tweaks here and there when necessary. Look at it this way; you have your whole life ahead of you, so if you don't have your desired hair and regime right now, doesn't mean you won't in the future. Just try to be patient . And good luck, I hope you make more improvement soon enough

 

[ChemistryGirl]

i swear you will be gone in seconds!!!!!!!!!! I won't just cut you low i will scalp you!!!!!!!!!!

This was my favorite line! I feel your frustration. I was >>this<< close to bcing last night because for the past few weeks, my hair has decided to be dry as the Sahara desert no matter how much I cowash, moisturize and seal it. Instead of bcing, I whipped out the blowdryer and flatiron and straightened it. Now I'm a little happier because I can see my progress and my hair looks nice. In a few days I'll miss my coily hair and have the patience to deal with it again.

I treat my hair like it's a bad child. If it's throwing a tantrum, the worst thing you can do is indulge it's bad behavior. Ignore it for a while and it'll get tired of being bad and start acting right. Of course like a kid you still have to feed it and take care of it , but give it a time out. You should try braids, wigs, weave or straightening it.

 

[Mystic]

I have never seen anything so funny ever! This is HILARIOUS . I feel your pain, hon. I am right there with you. Funny, funny.

First of all, F YOU HAIR!!!!!! After everything i do for you, the time, the money, the tlc you can't ever EVER just act right. For the past two years i have been good to you, i've stopped burning you with my hair dryer, i wash and deep condition you every week (a 4 hour process!!!!!!!!!), i detangle you carefully and gently, I bought a frickin hair steamer for you, and you shrug at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have literally tried hundreds of conditioners because you're just so damn particular aren't you?! I don't comb you unless you're wet and covered in conditioner, i do so with a seamless comb, I stopped putting in those CUTE micro braids, and i barely braid you with extensions anymore. I've used protein because you insist of breaking, you hated it so i used henna and you refuse to respond! Do you realize how much money i've spent on you in shipping costs alone?!I stay watching youtube tutorials, trolling hair forums and seeking advice for your benefit. I constantly protective style. When you act like this you make me feel so ugly. I have done nothing but treat you right and you don't care. You are on thin ice...i am staying away from my hair shears and mirrors right now because if i have to see you and your stupid single strand knots, mid strand knots and split ends, i swear you will be gone in seconds!!!!!!!!!! I won't just cut you low i will scalp you!!!!!!!!!! So i'm giving you a hot oil treatment and i'm gonna give you some more henna tonight..this is your last chance..>DONT PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Prisangela]

I feel like this some days too!

First of all, F YOU HAIR!!!!!! After everything i do for you, the time, the money, the tlc you can't ever EVER just act right. For the past two years i have been good to you, i've stopped burning you with my hair dryer, i wash and deep condition you every week (a 4 hour process!!!!!!!!!), i detangle you carefully and gently, I bought a frickin hair steamer for you, and you shrug at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have literally tried hundreds of conditioners because you're just so damn particular aren't you?! I don't comb you unless you're wet and covered in conditioner, i do so with a seamless comb, I stopped putting in those CUTE micro braids, and i barely braid you with extensions anymore. I've used protein because you insist of breaking, you hated it so i used henna and you refuse to respond! Do you realize how much money i've spent on you in shipping costs alone?!I stay watching youtube tutorials, trolling hair forums and seeking advice for your benefit. I constantly protective style. When you act like this you make me feel so ugly. I have done nothing but treat you right and you don't care. You are on thin ice...i am staying away from my hair shears and mirrors right now because if i have to see you and your stupid single strand knots, mid strand knots and split ends, i swear you will be gone in seconds!!!!!!!!!! I won't just cut you low i will scalp you!!!!!!!!!! So i'm giving you a hot oil treatment and i'm gonna give you some more henna tonight..this is your last chance..>DONT PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LovinLea]

nope, whenever i want to cut or relax, i think about how much time and effort i had to put in just to get to this measly point. you know what i have to show for the past year?? 7 INCHES OF HAIR! Do you know what 7 INCHES of hair makes up?! NECK LENGTH!! That's it! Neck Length!!!

Whoo, sorry about that. I went off on a little tangent of my own. Back to your question, no I wouldn't BC again unless I had to.

 

[wednesday]

Thanks for all of your responses! I was beyond pissed off last night when i wrote this. I pre pooed, washed, did a henna treatment overnight and cowashed and DCd this morning...and nothing...my hair was just blah. I decided to throw caution to the wind and i blow dried on warm, put on some Darcys Botanicals leave in and put it in two braids going back (see pics). I was out all day and when i got home i toot the braids out cos i wanted to put it in a protective style that would last all week because i'm pretty busy with school. So when i took out the braids and finger combed my hair just felt like crap and the scissors were calling me...but i took your advice and put it in kinky twists! I just think i need to leave it alone for a while until i'm not so busy and have the patience to deal with it. Also i was watching a show today and a girl on it was suffering from alopecia and that kind of put things in perspective for me. I expect my hair to act like everyone elses but everyone is different...maybe my hair is supposed to be dry and full of knots and splts? just kidding. Who knew trying to grow hair could be so frustrating!

 

[wednesday]

Perhaps your hair is telling you less is more? Simplify your regimen?

that's definitely worth a try. Thanks

 

[wednesday]

Girl I've been there. I cut my hair down to a fade in 2009 for this very same reason. Cutting is not the answer, you gotta figure out what your hair likes. We'll help ya, that's what we're here for About the breakage; does your hair feel brittle? Too much protein can cause breakage by making it too hard so it snaps. You say your hair hates protein, maybe you need more moisture. What kind of leave-ins and deep conditioners do you use?

Leave ins:
KinkyKurly Knot Today-
Darcys Botanicals Leave in
QB amla Olive heavy cream
Peace love and sunshine coconut confidence
infusium
kimmaytube leave in
scurl
glycerine water mix

Deep conditioners:
Elasta QP DPR11
Yes to Carrots hair mask/mud
Miss Jessies Sweet Back treatment/ Rapid Recovery
Silk Elements Mega Moisturizing
Biolage Ultra Hydrating balm

 

[wednesday]

I know I've been in your shoes before!! What I did to get my sanity back was very simple. I was staying away from heat, and doing all the things I thought a good LHCF'er would do and my hair was feeling like poop. So to avoid cutting I said forget it and did something that would make ME happy. I did a rollerset and flat-ironed, a cute curly style that would last that whole week. That hairstyle made me feel like I had got my "sexy back". I noticed that wow, my hair has come a long way, it's much healthier and fuller. I began to feel proud in my accomplishments and realized I'm a lot better off than I use to be, and better off than most people I saw day-to-day who didn't know much of anything about healthy haircare practices. I gave my hair a break and I did what I wanted..just basic nighttime routine: moisturizing, oiling ends and scarf. While scouring LHCF threads to fix my dilemma (which was breakage). It was tough for me to only touch my hair once a day let alone only wash 1x/week but it kept me from being all angry about it. I knew that I COULD fix this given time.

I hope you don't cut your hair because of frustration because I don't believe that will fix the root of the problem(s). Do you know what products/techniques works and what doesn't? Have you identified what the problem is, ex: breakage, dryness? If you have, then that's a great start and all you need is to look and I'm confident you'll find the answer.

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to basically say I've been there, even telling my hair that it had 1 MORE CHANCE to act right or it's over. When I decided to take a step back and realize it's not that serious, it gave me time to find the solution and implement the proper action.

i have one or two staple products but i couldn't tell you why they work. I feel like whenever i think i've figured out a good technique or i dentified a problem i seem to have it all wrong. Last summer i realized i had mid strand splits and i thought they could be from the hair i use to braid so i stopped using that hair. ^ months later i'm still seeing some mid stand split and now i'm thinking it might be my denman....i don't knooooooow. And you are so right, it isn't that serious. I need to chill out!!! We all have our moments!

 

[wednesday]

I have been having pretty much the exact same problems and feelings on my own hair journey, so I really feel you. Two and a half years down the line, and my hair is still no where as long as I want it to be .

But maybe two years just isn't enough? I have read posts by women on this forum that say it can take a few years to settle into a regimen that their hair likes and thrives on. You probably just have to keep on going, making tweaks here and there when necessary. Look at it this way; you have your whole life ahead of you, so if you don't have your desired hair and regime right now, doesn't mean you won't in the future. Just try to be patient . And good luck, I hope you make more improvement soon enough

ugh...i think you're right...but damn!!!!!!!!...i can't lie, i have seen a huge improvement in the overall health and appearance of my hair and my hair is the longest its ever been (still only shoulder length...and i have a short neck!), so i appreciate that. But i have yet to enjoy my hair, i'm still uncomfortable with the length and it never seems to do what i tell it to. Thanks for the kind words though!

 

[wednesday]

This was my favorite line! I feel your frustration. I was >>this<< close to bcing last night because for the past few weeks, my hair has decided to be dry as the Sahara desert no matter how much I cowash, moisturize and seal it. Instead of bcing, I whipped out the blowdryer and flatiron and straightened it. Now I'm a little happier because I can see my progress and my hair looks nice. In a few days I'll miss my coily hair and have the patience to deal with it again.

I treat my hair like it's a bad child. If it's throwing a tantrum, the worst thing you can do is indulge it's bad behavior. Ignore it for a while and it'll get tired of being bad and start acting right. Of course like a kid you still have to feed it and take care of it , but give it a time out. You should try braids, wigs, weave or straightening it.

i love this. Yes! now my hair is in a time out! Kinky twists for a month!!!!!

 

[wednesday]

nope, whenever i want to cut or relax, i think about how much time and effort i had to put in just to get to this measly point. you know what i have to show for the past year?? 7 INCHES OF HAIR! Do you know what 7 INCHES of hair makes up?! NECK LENGTH!! That's it! Neck Length!!!

Whoo, sorry about that. I went off on a little tangent of my own. Back to your question, no I wouldn't BC again unless I had to.

right???!!!!!! That's the only thing stopping me! I only retained 3 inches last year. I cut about 4 inches through various trims during the year because on split ends etc. I gotta find something that works! I don't know what i'm doing wrong.