Long Hair Peepin Tom.....(pic)

[ConstantlyDynamic]

... being out in public does not mean that someone has the right to photograph you without your permission. Just like being on a crowded bus does not give someone the right to fondle you. Or just like walking down the street at night in a bad area does not give someone the right to rob you. And just like wearing a short skirt and cleavage does not give a man the right to rape you. No photos aren't physical acts of rape theft or molestation but being photographed unknowingly is a violation of ones person. Being captured by a security or traffic camera is not the same thing as someone walking up behind you (or in front of you) and snapping a photo of you and then walking away.

Just a strange observation here, but I'm wondering why so many people in the Black community don't readily understand this particular concept of etiquette. In Miami and often times here in my own city, I have noticed disproportionate numbers of Black people (men especially) doing this, as opposed to other groups of people. (not saying that they don't do it, because they do and I caught a few on my trip too!) I'm wondering though, is disregarding privacy etiquette a cultural thing in the Black community or what? When caught a lot of the black people I spoke to often expressed a similar sentiment to yours on why they thought it was ok to be rude. Thoughts on this? Id love to start a discussion on why this is. I have some ideas but Id love to hear other points of view.

I wonder if people also realize that in some cases, photo taking without permission is illegal and if the photo surfaces somewhere you can be sued. Its not just about people being "funny" about having their photo taken, it is a violation of that persons right to say when and to whom their image is given. And in some cases an affront to their privacy. Its about taking something that isn't yours, that you have no right to. A photograph can in some cases be a very personal and intimate thing and you the taker, can have no idea how the victim of your covert photo may feel about it (or what the consequences of that photo may be to them) so as such, it is only fair, and honestly its just human decency to take a few small seconds out of your day, to just say a few words to that person... I mean really, if you can lift your hand to hold the camera, and use muscles in your arm to steady the camera, and click the button chances are you are able-bodied enough to ask. Showing the person the camera and smiling inquisitively works across all languages and is recognized as "can I take a photo of you" in every country.

Besides, when you ask, you always get a better photo! Nothings better than a willing model, and you can pose them however you like to get the best photo.

so i looked this up online because i was really curious about this subject (i frequent some fashion blogs and i notice that the bloggers will take candid photos of random people- i always wondered if that was ok) and it is legal to take photos of people if the setting is a public space. i guess the proper etiquette would be to ask either before or after (some people probably do it after because candid shots are the best imo love 'em) but you don't legally have to.

and i really doubt that it's a black/white cultural thing. it's probably a cultural thing when you look at different countries in general. what are the laws in France? in England? etc. but i don't see it as a black and white thing because all of the fashion blogs that I look at are run by white bloggers and they have no issues doing it.

 

[keelioness]

I don't see anything wrong with it. Your not making fun of her, your giving her a great compliment. Taking pics without permission is not a crime especially since it was a public place. Your not using the pic for gratification of any kind. Now would I mind....if I was her no not at all. To be respectful permission should have been granted though.

Sorry..IT's wrong to take and post a pic of a stranger in a bikini..back turned or not and post on the internet..If I were a friend of hers I'd recognize the pic..How do we know she's not a schoolteacher or CEO who doesn't want a pic posted on the internet in a bikini?! Its straight violation.

I'm from NYC..long haired Puerto Ricans are all over the place..Its no anomaly

 

[LoveCraze]

This was really meant to be a light hearted thread. I never expected to be thrown over the coals about it. Like I said already, point taken on "ask first". It was only meant to show an awesome head. I truly don't see how one can correlate this act with physical crimes against individuals. I'm not using this pic for personal gain in no way. What's done is done and lesson learned. I mean really. Also one act of lack in judgement does not mean that I or people in the Black community lack regard to ones privacy. But moving on.....

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

and the CCTV comment is right on ChocolateLove2010. people can be randomly recorded by news stations and randomly photographed but the stations don't have to ask for anyone's permission because it was a public space and, by law, that isn't required. same for when i take photos of friends and there are people in the background

i think that what the OP did was fine but, if she feels uncomfortable with the way that the situation is being viewed, then she'll probably ask next time but don't feel bad OP

 

[Americka]

I fully understand the intent of your thread, OP. I have been tempted many times to snap pics of lovely heads of hair.

We are a highly digitized society, yet our laws are slow to reflect that. I don't believe a case regarding this issue has reached the US Supreme Court yet.

 

[LayneJ]

... being out in public does not mean that someone has the right to photograph you without your permission. Just like being on a crowded bus does not give someone the right to fondle you. Or just like walking down the street at night in a bad area does not give someone the right to rob you. And just like wearing a short skirt and cleavage does not give a man the right to rape you. No photos aren't physical acts of rape theft or molestation but being photographed unknowingly is a violation of ones person. Being captured by a security or traffic camera is not the same thing as someone walking up behind you (or in front of you) and snapping a photo of you and then walking away.

Just a strange observation here, but I'm wondering why so many people in the Black community don't readily understand this particular concept of etiquette. In Miami and often times here in my own city, I have noticed disproportionate numbers of Black people (men especially) doing this, as opposed to other groups of people. (not saying that they don't do it, because they do and I caught a few on my trip too!) I'm wondering though, is disregarding privacy etiquette a cultural thing in the Black community or what? When caught a lot of the black people I spoke to often expressed a similar sentiment to yours on why they thought it was ok to be rude. Thoughts on this? Id love to start a discussion on why this is. I have some ideas but Id love to hear other points of view.

I wonder if people also realize that in some cases, photo taking without permission is illegal and if the photo surfaces somewhere you can be sued. Its not just about people being "funny" about having their photo taken, it is a violation of that persons right to say when and to whom their image is given. And in some cases an affront to their privacy. Its about taking something that isn't yours, that you have no right to. A photograph can in some cases be a very personal and intimate thing and you the taker, can have no idea how the victim of your covert photo may feel about it (or what the consequences of that photo may be to them) so as such, it is only fair, and honestly its just human decency to take a few small seconds out of your day, to just say a few words to that person... I mean really, if you can lift your hand to hold the camera, and use muscles in your arm to steady the camera, and click the button chances are you are able-bodied enough to ask. Showing the person the camera and smiling inquisitively works across all languages and is recognized as "can I take a photo of you" in every country.

Besides, when you ask, you always get a better photo! Nothings better than a willing model, and you can pose them however you like to get the best photo.

I think we get it...

Speaking of proper etiquette, a PM to the OP would have sufficed. Especially since your issue had nothing to do with the topic, and in fact, would have (and HAS) derailed the thread.

But I'll assume you couldn't do that because, being black and all, you don't readily understand the concept of etiquette.

 

[HennaRo]

Sorry..IT's wrong to take and post a pic of a stranger in a bikini..back turned or not and post on the internet..If I were a friend of hers I'd recognize the pic..How do we know she's not a schoolteacher or CEO who doesn't want a pic posted on the internet in a bikini?! Its straight violation.

I'm from NYC..long haired Puerto Ricans are all over the place..Its no anomaly

It may be wrong but it's not a crime that's all I was saying.

 

[RedVelvet310]

Love her hair OP! If I had a camera in hand and saw her I'd probably take a picture too... I take pictures of EVERYTHING/EVERYONE! You're out in public.. ish happens

I was with you until I read the part I've put in bold.

I'm not even going to finish reading the rest. Get off your high horse, and stop acting like when you leave your house there is a paparazzi waiting. To add insult you think black people don't have any etiquette, and we stand around waiting to capture pictures of random people.

This thread was started about hair, and it seems you are just getting really sensitive about a minor pic. I'm sure the woman in the pic wouldn't shed as many tears as you have in this post.

All we have done is praised the woman's hair. Perhaps if somebody posted a crude pic, and we all commented negatively.. I could understand your tears but enough already.

Do you go to your local store and request the CCTV to be turned off? I think your tears will be better on a more worthy cause like writing essays towards murderers, rapists.. or pedos. Not people who just capture an innocent pic.

I have nothing more to say.

AGREED! And the whole "black people have no etiquette" line.. SERIOUSLY? Smh Speak for yourself.

 

[Adaoba2012]

I was with you until I read the part I've put in bold.

I'm not even going to finish reading the rest. Get off your high horse, and stop acting like when you leave your house there is a paparazzi waiting. To add insult you think black people don't have any etiquette, and we stand around waiting to capture pictures of random people.

This thread was started about hair, and it seems you are just getting really sensitive about a minor pic. I'm sure the woman in the pic wouldn't shed as many tears as you have in this post.

All we have done is praised the woman's hair. Perhaps if somebody posted a crude pic, and we all commented negatively.. I could understand your tears but enough already.

Do you go to your local store and request the CCTV to be turned off? I think your tears will be better on a more worthy cause like writing essays towards murderers, rapists.. or pedos. Not people who just capture an innocent pic.

I have nothing more to say.

I completely agree with this chocolatelove.


I mean sheesh I'm sure after the first and 2nd post she got the point. I personally don't think it was that big a deal. Everyone is different and there and things that some people will do and some people won't. Paparazzi make their living off of snapping photos of people in public..and guess what if the person being photographed gets angry and becomes physical the paparazzi has a right to take legal action. This had nothing to do with race and I think you are just peeved because some random took a pic or video of you on your vacation.

ETA: @Bri505 your siggy has me rollin right now

 

[Sianna]

... being out in public does not mean that someone has the right to photograph you without your permission.

In no way was I suggesting that any individual had the RIGHT to photograph another person in public without their permission, nor did I say that it wasn't a violation of etiquette. I merely pointed out the FACT that going out in public means that a certain level of privacy is surrendered.That's not my opinion but the plain and simple truth. Personally, I have no interest in taking photos of people I don't know, but I am very well aware that if I'm in public, I am subject to being photographed and/or recorded, and not just by security cameras. I'm not thrilled about it, but the alternative is to simply stay home and draw the blinds. It's not that serious to me.

Just a strange observation here, but I'm wondering why so many people in the Black community don't readily understand this particular concept of etiquette.

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the finger of blame gets pointed to the "Black community," even by other black people. No offense, but I don't see how this particular comment held any degree of value. Just because you've made this observation yourself does not mean that this type of behavior is more common among blacks than any other race.

I wonder if people also realize that in some cases, photo taking without permission is illegal and if the photo surfaces somewhere you can be sued. Its not just about people being "funny" about having their photo taken, it is a violation of that persons right to say when and to whom their image is given. And in some cases an affront to their privacy.

I think this point would have more potency if the lady's face, some distinct birthmark, tattoo or some other strong identifying feature was visible. Sure there was her incredibly long hair, but if anything that served to cover most of what we could see of her body.

Its about taking something that isn't yours, that you have no right to. A photograph can in some cases be a very personal and intimate thing and you the taker, can have no idea how the victim of your covert photo may feel about it (or what the consequences of that photo may be to them) so as such, it is only fair, and honestly its just human decency to take a few small seconds out of your day, to just say a few words to that person... I mean really, if you can lift your hand to hold the camera, and use muscles in your arm to steady the camera, and click the button chances are you are able-bodied enough to ask. Showing the person the camera and smiling inquisitively works across all languages and is recognized as "can I take a photo of you" in every country.

Besides, when you ask, you always get a better photo! Nothings better than a willing model, and you can pose them however you like to get the best photo.

I can't argue with this last portion of your statement. It's true after all, and it would have polite to ask before taking the photo. Still, I stand by the belief that it is unrealistic to expect total privacy in any public place. Whether it's right, wrong or something in between, I feel that in walking out of our homes and into the outside world, all of us are capitulating to the unspoken reality that we are subject to this kind of thing. It is what it is.

I will say nothing further on this subject.

 

[IWantBSl09]

I was with you until I read the part I've put in bold.

I'm not even going to finish reading the rest. Get off your high horse, and stop acting like when you leave your house there is a paparazzi waiting. To add insult you think black people don't have any etiquette, and we stand around waiting to capture pictures of random people.

This thread was started about hair, and it seems you are just getting really sensitive about a minor pic. I'm sure the woman in the pic wouldn't shed as many tears as you have in this post.

All we have done is praised the woman's hair. Perhaps if somebody posted a crude pic, and we all commented negatively.. I could understand your tears but enough already.

Do you go to your local store and request the CCTV to be turned off? I think your tears will be better on a more worthy cause like writing essays towards murderers, rapists.. or pedos. Not people who just capture an innocent pic.

I have nothing more to say.

Agreed...Making something out of nothing!

 

[nikki2229]

I'm sorry that your thread got derailed SE!
I don't think your photo was taken with malicious intent. The lady does have a gorgeous mane.
In reality people snap pictures of random people in public places all of the time. That does not make it right but it does happen. In all of the hypocrisy, some of the most popular ET threads are the say something nice, the wally world snap shots, or the ghetto stripper photos. Obviously some of these people did not intend to be the butt of jokes on here but it does happen and I don't see anyone jumping in those threads to say they should have asked permission first.
I just don't agree with putting snap shots of strangers kids on the net but that has nothing to do with your thread.

Don't feel too bad.

 

[melodies815]

I see what you mean. And I could have dragged my butt over there and asked in hopes she spoke english. Point well taken. In the future if I ever feel the inclination, I'll take your advice and do ask first.

You are so gracious. And humble. I didn't read the entire thread, but I'd like to contribute.

If someone took my pic without asking, I would be bothered. No question. I would not care if my back were turned....but that's me. My work is mostly online, so I would want to make sure that I was presented in a manner that I want put online by a stranger. Most likely, I would not approve of it.

I had one instance of seeing this caucasian teen with the best afro ever, and I asked him if I could take a pic of his hair. He was cool and was glad I asked.

Her hair is soooo beautiful, OP. I definitely understand why you took the pic. Great thread too....

I am sure others have felt the same at one time or another.


cj

 

[Ijanei]

I can't play peeping tom here in Bedstuye Brooklyn. If you get caught snapping a picture you're in for a jumping, or possibly a stabbing. Even looking at someone's hair the wrong way can cause trouble so definitely not. =(

I Feel you on that one...I'm in the bush off of church ave!

On topic...her hair is pretty and looks silky. Too long for my taste though. I see somewhat what the "fuss" is about. She is in public and rather we know it or not, our picture is being taken everyday we step outside, in stores, markets, malls, hotels or wherever else we may be. But I kind of agree, I would may have asked first just in case she was in a witness protection program or something lachen: never know) But yes I'm tempted to do this every time I see someone with a ridiculous outfit on.

 

[sweetlaughter]

It is actually a very nice photo and the lady's hair looks very nice, though I'd never want my hair to be quite that long.

As far you taking the picture of this random, long-haired stranger, I think you did it quite discreetly. Not only is the lady's face not showing, but in fact no one's is. While I can see why some might object to the idea of snapping a shot of someone you don't know without their permission, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. The woman was out in public. It'd be different of you were standing outside her bedroom window. I remember reading or hearing somewhere that when you go out in public you are pretty much surrendering a certain level of privacy anyway. In some cities just walking down the street means you are subject to being photographed or recorded at any time. *shrugs*

... being out in public does not mean that someone has the right to photograph you without your permission. Just like being on a crowded bus does not give someone the right to fondle you. Or just like walking down the street at night in a bad area does not give someone the right to rob you. And just like wearing a short skirt and cleavage does not give a man the right to rape you. No photos aren't physical acts of rape theft or molestation but being photographed unknowingly is a violation of ones person. Being captured by a security or traffic camera is not the same thing as someone walking up behind you (or in front of you) and snapping a photo of you and then walking away.

Just a strange observation here, but I'm wondering why so many people in the Black community don't readily understand this particular concept of etiquette. In Miami and often times here in my own city, I have noticed disproportionate numbers of Black people (men especially) doing this, as opposed to other groups of people. (not saying that they don't do it, because they do and I caught a few on my trip too!) I'm wondering though, is disregarding privacy etiquette a cultural thing in the Black community or what? When caught a lot of the black people I spoke to often expressed a similar sentiment to yours on why they thought it was ok to be rude. Thoughts on this? Id love to start a discussion on why this is. I have some ideas but Id love to hear other points of view.

I wonder if people also realize that in some cases, photo taking without permission is illegal and if the photo surfaces somewhere you can be sued. Its not just about people being "funny" about having their photo taken, it is a violation of that persons right to say when and to whom their image is given. And in some cases an affront to their privacy. Its about taking something that isn't yours, that you have no right to. A photograph can in some cases be a very personal and intimate thing and you the taker, can have no idea how the victim of your covert photo may feel about it (or what the consequences of that photo may be to them) so as such, it is only fair, and honestly its just human decency to take a few small seconds out of your day, to just say a few words to that person... I mean really, if you can lift your hand to hold the camera, and use muscles in your arm to steady the camera, and click the button chances are you are able-bodied enough to ask. Showing the person the camera and smiling inquisitively works across all languages and is recognized as "can I take a photo of you" in every country.

Besides, when you ask, you always get a better photo! Nothings better than a willing model, and you can pose them however you like to get the best photo.

I agree completely Sianna. On the news they show people all the time from the neck down in those general, look how overweight America has become. No one is ever asked for permission. And google maps street view also shows people with their faces...

 

[Amber_moon]

hmmmm.... ok then. I wasn't trying to start a fight OR be on a "high horse" as some have stated, but I knew that was a touchy subject when I said it so I probably should have avoided it. I just figured since everyone was responding as maturely as they originally were, I figured that most would have the maturity to respond intelligently to the other question I posed.

However, I still hold to the fact that it is a problem. I think some of you are taking what I said the wrong way. I am in no way blaming black people for anything, Im simply asking why so many of us don't follow this particular etiquette rule. Not unlike Chocolatelove, who thought it was ok to generalize Italian men and state that they all love black booty. But I guess its different when we hold the magnifying glass to ourselves hunh? And to be quite honest, I'm not even saying that its ONLY black people. If you had read the rest of the post instead of stopping where it seems everyone did, you would see that I do mention that it happens with other groups of people. (yest there ARE plenty of voyeur websites make by white men) However, I can say without a doubt that the majority of offenders in my recent experience have mostly been black. Im not saying that this is representative of the entire community, however, I do wonder why this is. I suppose I will always be wondering since nobody seems to be able to discuss it.

Otherwise, with the rest of the low blow insults some seem to be tossing my way, I really have nothing to say about them because they aren't relevant to the topic I'm discussing. But I will say that if something I said stuck that much of a chord, why insult me instead of just discussing it like an adult?

Anyway, since everybody seems to be "done" and don't have anymore to say on the subject then I guess I'm out too.

Sorry for offending, and I hope that everyones offense doesn't effect their decision to take my advice to heart and just ask for a photo before taking it.


Anyway, everybody have a great day

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

hmmmm.... ok then. I wasn't trying to start a fight OR be on a "high horse" as some have stated, but I knew that was a touchy subject when I said it so I probably should have avoided it. I just figured since everyone was responding as maturely as they originally were, I figured that most would have the maturity to respond intelligently to the other question I posed.

However, I still hold to the fact that it is a problem. I think some of you are taking what I said the wrong way. I am in no way blaming black people for anything, Im simply asking why so many of us don't follow this particular etiquette rule. Not unlike Chocolatelove, who thought it was ok to generalize Italian men and state that they love black booty. But I guess its different when we hold the magnifying glass to ourselves hunh?

Otherwise, with the rest of the low blow insults some seem to be being tossed my way, I really have nothing to say about them because they aren't relevant to the topic I'm discussing. But I will say that if something I said stuck that much of a chord, why insult me instead of just discussing it like an adult?

Anyway, since everybody seems to be "done" and don't have anymore to say on the subject then I guess I'm out too.

Sorry for offending, and I hope that everyones offense doesn't effect their decision to take my advice to heart and just ask for a photo before taking it.


Anyway, everybody have a great day

You started a crusade against the OP with your essays. And even though We took your advice you just kept going on, and on about it like a broken record. So we got fed up.

''Why so many of us'' - I've never seen a group of black people hang around waiting to take a kodak moment of a stranger. You're speaking as if the average black man/woman doesn't have anything better to do If that's what you've witnessed, I can tell you now that's the minority. Even if somebody has taken a photo of you, I don't see the big deal. Did you catch a disease? Is the pain equivalent to you getting shot 9 times. I mean there are people dying in floods, and millions starving. But you want to go into a deep discussion about how taking ones photo can be hurtful. I'm just wondering if you're this sensitive about all other areas in life. If you feel this strongly why don't you set up an organisation that deals with this. It can be called ''Don't take our pic, without asking us.'' Or just join one, if it's in existence.

Oh, and about the Italian remark. I doubt any italian men would get offended. They'd probs just say 'Si .. Ti amo, bella' and start :trampolin

Also the difference is, I didn't go on a italian hair forum to make that sweeping generalisation. But you come here where 90% of the women are black and expect a hug from us whilst you generalize us? More like we're going to :gunner7:

Anyway I don't get offended by your posts. But I must say everytime I finish reading one, this is how I feel ----> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpuRcmPnSTM

 

[nikolite]

... being out in public does not mean that someone has the right to photograph you without your permission. Just like being on a crowded bus does not give someone the right to fondle you. Or just like walking down the street at night in a bad area does not give someone the right to rob you. And just like wearing a short skirt and cleavage does not give a man the right to rape you. No photos aren't physical acts of rape theft or molestation but being photographed unknowingly is a violation of ones person. Being captured by a security or traffic camera is not the same thing as someone walking up behind you (or in front of you) and snapping a photo of you and then walking away.

Just a strange observation here, but I'm wondering why so many people in the Black community don't readily understand this particular concept of etiquette. In Miami and often times here in my own city, I have noticed disproportionate numbers of Black people (men especially) doing this, as opposed to other groups of people. (not saying that they don't do it, because they do and I caught a few on my trip too!) I'm wondering though, is disregarding privacy etiquette a cultural thing in the Black community or what? When caught a lot of the black people I spoke to often expressed a similar sentiment to yours on why they thought it was ok to be rude. Thoughts on this? Id love to start a discussion on why this is. I have some ideas but Id love to hear other points of view.

I wonder if people also realize that in some cases, photo taking without permission is illegal and if the photo surfaces somewhere you can be sued. Its not just about people being "funny" about having their photo taken, it is a violation of that persons right to say when and to whom their image is given. And in some cases an affront to their privacy. Its about taking something that isn't yours, that you have no right to. A photograph can in some cases be a very personal and intimate thing and you the taker, can have no idea how the victim of your covert photo may feel about it (or what the consequences of that photo may be to them) so as such, it is only fair, and honestly its just human decency to take a few small seconds out of your day, to just say a few words to that person... I mean really, if you can lift your hand to hold the camera, and use muscles in your arm to steady the camera, and click the button chances are you are able-bodied enough to ask. Showing the person the camera and smiling inquisitively works across all languages and is recognized as "can I take a photo of you" in every country.

Besides, when you ask, you always get a better photo! Nothings better than a willing model, and you can pose them however you like to get the best photo.

Ummm... I don't think this is a black thing or a problem prevalent to the black community. The one guy who did that to me (sneakily took a random photo, as I mentioned earlier) was white. I think its a rare occurrence that some people do when they are knowingly being sneaky/suspect or don't know any better. Race isn't involved. And most of the black women on here have expressed that it is rude or wrong--though some people just don't care.

I agree with your first and third paragraphs though. I just think pointing that out as a black thing is extreme and off-base.

 

[Amber_moon]

You started a crusade against the OP with your essays. And even though We took your advice you just kept going on, and on about it like a broken record. So we got fed up.

Hi there, Actually, my last post (the one which you claim to have gotten so fed up with) was not actually directed at the OP. It was directed to another poster. As you can see by the fact that I quoted that person and responded directly to them.

The third post in this thread made by me had absolutely nothing to do with the OP. The first post was to her, and the second responded to what she wrote to me.

I'm curious as to exactly how much of my posts you DID read or if you just skimmed? Because a lot of the things you are trying to insult me with are disclaimer-ed in the original posts I made that you are taking issue with. I strongly suggest you go back and read all of the post, (not just the parts you've bolded) so that you understand that I dont disagree with you. I dont think there are groups of Black folx waiting around to snap photos of unsuspecting shoppers etc etc... Thats a ridiculous idea and I'm not sure where you go that from. All I said was that, IN MY OWN RECENT EXPERIENCE (which is OBVIOUSLY quite limited given that I cannot know everyone in an entire community) I want to know why so many of the recent offenders of this particular rule of etiquette have been black. Did I say that Black people had no etiquette? No. Did I say we were all uncouth butt scratchers? OBVIOUSLY NOT. Did I say that there were hordes of them waiting outside my door to swamp me? No. but somehow those are what you and a few other posters seem to think I am implying.

 

[nikolite]

Personally, I think black men do appreciate black beauty. Let me correct myself, real Black men appreicate a black woman's beauty. Did you miss the song ''I like big butts and I cannot lie.'' Not the best example, but loads of brothers like a big butt and cannot lie.

On the second point I'd like to address. I just don't like being referred to as exotic. Type in definition of exotic and you'll see what comes up.

Definitions of exotic on the Web:

alien: being or from or characteristic of another place or part of the world; "alien customs"

strikingly strange or unusual.

I just don't see myself as an alien, or strange. That just doesn't fit well with me. I'm a black female, period. Don't go calling me exotic like I'm something you've seen on the discovery channel.

That's just my personal feelings on the matter.

I feel the same way. I've been called exotic, although I know I have "different" features: I'm very tall and thin, my eyes are set wide apart and almond shaped, and I have a large forehead with an interesting shape. I also have a small scar on my face that some mistake as some sort of tribal mark (I simply fell off the slide in kindergarten).

But I take it to mean that I don't look stereotypically "African American," which is annoying. Instead people think I am East African, either that or Carribean or just anywhere far far away. Esp. when I wear a headwrap or my big puff.

I don't like the term because its clear that they are questioning my nationality and can't place me inside of their stereotypes. Exotic usually also is some sort of fetishization, or else they would just say that you look foreign or simply ask where you're from.

 

[nikolite]

I don't see anything wrong with it. Your not making fun of her, your giving her a great compliment. Taking pics without permission is not a crime especially since it was a public place. Your not using the pic for gratification of any kind. Now would I mind....if I was her no not at all. To be respectful permission should have been granted though.

Honestly, I would mind if I was her but mainly because I'd be mad my butt was NOT looking cute in that pic. If I was on point from head to toe and you couldn't see my face, then maybe I'd be okay.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

Hi there, Actually, my last post (the one which you claim to have gotten so fed up with) was not actually directed at the OP. It was directed to another poster. As you can see by the fact that I quoted that person and responded directly to them.

The third post in this thread made by me had absolutely nothing to do with the OP. The first post was to her, and the second responded to what she wrote to me.

I'm curious as to exactly how much of my posts you DID read or if you just skimmed? Because a lot of the things you are trying to insult me with are disclaimer-ed in the original posts I made that you are taking issue with. I strongly suggest you go back and read all of the post, (not just the parts you've bolded) so that you understand that I dont disagree with you. I dont think there are groups of Black folx waiting around to snap photos of unsuspecting shoppers etc etc... Thats a ridiculous idea and I'm not sure where you go that from. All I said was that, IN MY OWN RECENT EXPERIENCE (which is OBVIOUSLY quite limited given that I cannot know everyone in an entire community) I want to know why so many of the recent offenders of this particular rule of etiquette have been black. Did I say that Black people had no etiquette? No. Did I say we were all uncouth butt scratchers? OBVIOUSLY NOT. Did I say that there were hordes of them waiting outside my door to swamp me? No. but somehow those are what you and a few other posters seem to think I am implying.

I'm too tired to read what you wrote. But hey this is in the internet...

lets just

I apologise if I offended you.

You're killing me here with your essays lol. I surrender *waves white flag*

So.. how's the weather today

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

I feel the same way. I've been called exotic, although I know I have "different" features: I'm very tall and thin, my eyes are set wide apart and almond shaped, and I have a large forehead with an interesting shape. I also have a small scar on my face that some mistake as some sort of tribal mark (I simply fell off the slide in kindergarten).

But I take it to mean that I don't look stereotypically "African American," which is annoying. Instead people think I am East African, either that or Carribean or just anywhere far far away. Esp. when I wear a headwrap or my big puff.

I don't like the term because its clear that they are questioning my nationality and can't place me inside of their stereotypes. Exotic usually also is some sort of fetishization, or else they would just say that you look foreign or simply ask where you're from.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

I actually think young white males are most likely to engaged in surreptitious photo-taking/filming of random women.

That said, if you do a search, this issue has come up before (at least twice)--though in those cases the "offender" took pictures to humiliate and degrade the subjects of the photos. There has always been an uproar in those cases because of the whole "do unto others" thing. The consensus has generally been that the "offender" would not want anyone taking picture of her for the purpose of ridiculing her and doing so to someone else is a sign of immaturity. At one point it was so bad that older posters lamented that the cattiness those threads brought to the board and noted the change in positivity the board had attempted to maintain for years--the change was noticeable to folks who had been around for a while.

In this case the OP did not have sinister motives which is why--I think--most people are giving her a pass on this. If the OP was attempting to ridicule the woman in the picture this thread probably would have ended up a train wreck of "Ateeya" or "Shima" proportions. However, positive motive does not make posting the picture any less invasive of the subject's privacy. Legal or not, taking someone's picture and posting it to a public message board without their consent is rude and invasive.

 

[nikolite]

But you come here where 90% of the women are black and expect a hug from us whilst you generalize us? More like we're going to :gunner7:

Anyway I don't get offended by your posts. But I must say everytime I finish reading one, this is how I feel ----> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpuRcmPnSTM

 

[lijm83]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpuRcmPnSTM

Completely off topic so don't shoot me. But

 

[nikolite]

All I said was that, IN MY OWN RECENT EXPERIENCE (which is OBVIOUSLY quite limited given that I cannot know everyone in an entire community) I want to know why so many of the recent offenders of this particular rule of etiquette have been black. Did I say that Black people had no etiquette? No. Did I say we were all uncouth butt scratchers? OBVIOUSLY NOT. Did I say that there were hordes of them waiting outside my door to swamp me? No. but somehow those are what you and a few other posters seem to think I am implying.

I don't think you're implying that, but I'm curious where you are coming into contact with "so many" black photo offenders. Could this be because you are mostly around blacks on a daily basis? Could this be from a forum or internet blog that black people frequent? That doesn't mean that this is a black problem. And you DID say that black people don't have etiquette in regards to photo-taking/respect of privacy.

I simply disagree with you on that. Its not a touchy subject because really, I've never heard of this as a subject at all. But I'd really like to know what you are basing your experience off of, if not from many people taking photos of you? Who are these "recent offenders"?

 

[nzeee]

ESSAY because i'm 'passionate'

this continues off-topic and i read the entire thread seeing the issue has died down but feel compelled to dispel myths:

i'm a photographer. i take candid photographs at public events, often by request of the organizer. when i travel, i photograph random people doing any and every thing, most often w/out permission because the minute you ask the picture turns into a hokey here are all my teeth pic and has nooo interest that a candid photo does.

so this is what i know:
- it's only a curtesy to ask permission before taking a stranger's picture in a public place. this applies to kids as well, tho for obvious reasons photographing random children w/out the parent's permission gets sketch pretty fast

- comparing candid / street photography (look it up) to justification of rape (where it was mentioned taking a pic w/out permission and saying it's ok is the same as saying it's ok for someone to be attacked because they're wearing a short skirt or some such nonsense) is uhm... trying to think of a polite way of expressing myself... enormously out of line since the two have NOTHING in common

- i can and others will take your picture w/out permission and show it publicly on the internet, on a wall, anywhere they like as long as they are not charging people to see it and as long as they are acting as individuals not business while showing the pic. so for instance, reputable magazines, stock photography houses etc won't accept photographs of people w/ visible parts showing w/out a 'model release' form filled out since as a business they could be sued if they displayed that photo w/out explicit permission to do so.

- i also work in advertising. you know those contests where companies ask you to submit a pic of yourself enjoying their product? often when you participate you give the right for that company to use your pic in their ads. if your pic includes other people and their faces are showing, we can't use that picture. if that pic is you and everyone elses back is turned, as long as no one is bare assed or doing anything illegal we're totally free to use the picture on television, blow it up and put it on a billboard, whatever

** i take this as my first post because as a photog it seriously irks the hell out of me the way mostly women think i or anyone else is somehow invading their privacy. it's definitely rude, no doubt. there are ways to avoid being creepy and off-putting but sometimes even if you're nice (women specifically here, sorry) act is if you're lower than a slug for existing w/ your camera and even deigning to approach them.

for those types of women like amber_moon i'm here to say that even after you say no anybody can STILL take your picture and do whatever they want w/ it as long as there's no commercial intent. you have NO right to or expectation of privacy in a public place.

all facts. no opinions. remember this next time you're in public. if you don't want your picture taken and you notice someone doing it block your face or ruin the picture that's the most you can do because as you have a right to walk the street, they have a right (wrong word but i'm sure you know what i mean) to take their picture.

 

[LittleLuxe]

Geez, obviously this topic got a little heated but here's my opinion.

I think the OP had good intentions. I think she saw a beautiful woman (um...maybe since I don't know what her face looks like) and a beautiful head of hair and wanted to share it with her friends on a message board. I think she made a conscientious effort to protect the woman's identity and stick strictly to her focus (hair) and for that I respect her efforts.

Now for what Amber_moon is trying to describe I also want to say I think her point has validity. We do live in a very digitized age and we're more used to our privacies being stripped now or not having a lot of privacy to begin with. While many women here gladly share their photos with the board and the internet we sometimes need to remember others are more private. Yes there are security cameras and photos being taken of us without our permission, still there is a difference. Unless someone is intentionally abusing the system your image is typically deleted or never identified or shared. (if you get caught on a security camera some will tape over the material while recording continuously or you simply go into an archive never to be located).

We need to remember that this day and age also has some serious negative effects of digital information. I want to say this isn't about the OP so much as I think she did everything needed to protect the person's identity, still I was reading something recently on the net (will try to look it up) that said photos taken with a digital camera contain a tag (please forgive the vagueness I only read the article once) that can reveal a specific location.

The reason this article was created was because one of the men starring in the show 'mythbusters' took a photo of himself in front of his new truck and posted 'heading to work now' to his twitter. Apparently somehow it revealed his specific location.

Anyway, before I get off topic too much I want to say again I think the OP did a good job of protecting the woman's identity and she has beautiful hair (just a tiny bit too long, but PRETTY) still we do have to respect that as technology becomes more advanced we also have to be more careful about what we share on the internet (especially when it comes to people who never consented to share). It's a scary world out there and stalking is no joke. So yeah...my 3 cents

 

[LittleLuxe]

Here's the link if anyone is interested:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Web-Photos-That-Reveal-nytimes-2375510549.html?x=0