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Selling Out? Not Quite...

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SweetSpirit86

SweetSpirit86

New Member
I've already decided I'm going to relax my hair....

....and transition for a minimum of one year. The way I originally planned it. My SSK's are running rampant, and I've got the strangest split ends that I can only attribute to to the pulling from said SSK's. Right now, my little person is living with grandma (marriage, military, move...wants to stay with g-ma before she loses the opportunity) for the school year, so I think this would be a good time to do so.

So what am I asking? Relaxer recommendations. It's only been a year, but already I'm out of the loop and don't know where to begin to look for a GOOD relaxer. I've seen some ladies talk about Mizani, I believe..and some others I'm not too familiar with. Any suggestions?
 
Congrats on your decision! I hope that it makes you happy and I'm sure the relaxed ladies will chime in and provide you with some excellent recommendations!
 
And now my fiance pipes up...."What about BKT instead?" Maybe I'll research both...he listens more than I give him credit for apparently.
 
Girl - do you. If you want to relax your hair that doesn't mean you are selling out. You need to be happy with your hair.
 
Wow - what a great guy to suggest an in-between method. Not to discourage your big decision, but have you explored all the in-between methods to give you straight hair without resorting to relaxers?

Just curious and I definitely wish you hair happiness either way.
 
@Mzteaze, thank you...and I mostly just turned to what I knew for the most part. Relaxer care..ok...BKT, not so much. After he mentioned it, I kind of sat here like, "Hmm..maybe I should look into that instead since it gives me what I want without the permanence." My fiance is fine no matter what I do, but he's already made it known in the past he prefers my natural hair, and I do too. I just don't see the point if I can't KEEP any of it, lol.

These two are the only methods I can think of unless maybe I can go to a salon and have them straighten/clip the ends then do something else with my hair? I think I'm going to have at least 1.5 inches taken off to fix this, and I don't know what sort of PS I could do for the next year without wanting to just cut it all off again out of frustration.
 
How is relaxing selling out???? Girl, its ur hair..do what makes u happy..Relax if u want and go natural again if u want...
 
Phyto seems good...but I'm trying to understand what all these numbers are about. I googled it and pulled up something about different indexes. For those of you who use it, which index do you use?
 
i am natural now but used to use affirm fiberguard, stop it you're not a sellout and should do what works best for ya.....bkt may be a good option too, read all the threads on it to weigh the pros and cons.
 
I like Affirm and Design Essentials....the only two I've ever used so I have nothing to compare them to


ETA: Just wondering, you ever thought about using heat to knock out those ssks or is heat too much for your hair?
 
Give BKT a try. I'll send you a free sample (if you don't mind paying shipping) for two treatments (since the first treatment will probably be underwhelming). PM me if you're interested. I can also email you some pics of the my results on my silky4a/coarse 4a/and coarse 4b hair (different results depending on hair type).

And you know what, if BKT doesn't work out, you can always relax/texlax on top.
 
SweetSpirit86 said:
@Mzteaze, thank you...and I mostly just turned to what I knew for the most part. Relaxer care..ok...BKT, not so much. After he mentioned it, I kind of sat here like, "Hmm..maybe I should look into that instead since it gives me what I want without the permanence." My fiance is fine no matter what I do, but he's already made it known in the past he prefers my natural hair, and I do too. I just don't see the point if I can't KEEP any of it, lol.

These two are the only methods I can think of unless maybe I can go to a salon and have them straighten/clip the ends then do something else with my hair? I think I'm going to have at least 1.5 inches taken off to fix this, and I don't know what sort of PS I could do for the next year without wanting to just cut it all off again out of frustration.
Click to expand...

I found great success using a product like Sabino's Moisture Block (now renamed Lok & Blok) to straighten my hair for the days I wanted a different look (straight). My stylist was willing to do it and my hair looked great for days afterwards. So I could do straight when I wanted to and wash it out for natural when I wanted that.

Regarding the SSKs - they are PITA, ok? I resolved my issue with them by getting a nice trim. The stylist took off about 1/2" all the way around - sad but it was the best method to preserve all the hard work I had done up til that point. Guess what? My hair grew back nicely. In the interim, I now steam my hair weekly. Make sure my moisture is on point and do regular DC treatments. I haven't had an issue with them since them. The biggest issue is to figure out how to keep the friction down. I got a ton of SSKs strictly from going to bed with no head covering OR sitting on my sofa with a pillow and no head covering.

Hugs, no need to drastic just yet unless you are a dramatic diva like that...lol.
 
LaFemmeNaturelle said:
I like Affirm and Design Essentials....the only two I've ever used so I have nothing to compare them to


ETA: Just wondering, you ever thought about using heat to knock out those ssks or is heat too much for your hair?
Click to expand...

After I first went natural, I had a bit of a heat phobia because I didn't want to lose my curls, but I'm not opposed to it now. I have weird splits, though...if I attempt to describe them, think of a fully intact strand of hair...with holes in it. You hold it up to a light and can see little loops, and then the end splits and feathers off in a million directions.:wallbash: I'm afraid that if I get my hair straightened with heat and attempt to get them cut off, the stylist may miss them (because if I do this, I'll be going to a stylist just to make sure it's done completely...I trust my cousin).

lilikoi said:
Give BKT a try. I'll send you a free sample (if you don't mind paying shipping) for two treatments (since the first treatment will probably be underwhelming). PM me if you're interested. I can also email you some pics of the my results on my silky4a/coarse 4a/and coarse 4b hair (different results depending on hair type).

And you know what, if BKT doesn't work out, you can always relax/texlax on top.
Click to expand...

I appreciate the thought, though for now, I'd really appreciate the pictures if you don't mind? I'll PM you my email in a bit, thank you very much. :yawn:

mzteaze said:
I found great success using a product like Sabino's Moisture Block (now renamed Lok & Blok) to straighten my hair for the days I wanted a different look (straight). My stylist was willing to do it and my hair looked great for days afterwards. So I could do straight when I wanted to and wash it out for natural when I wanted that.

Regarding the SSKs - they are PITA, ok? I resolved my issue with them by getting a nice trim. The stylist took off about 1/2" all the way around - sad but it was the best method to preserve all the hard work I had done up til that point. Guess what? My hair grew back nicely. In the interim, I now steam my hair weekly. Make sure my moisture is on point and do regular DC treatments. I haven't had an issue with them since them. The biggest issue is to figure out how to keep the friction down. I got a ton of SSKs strictly from going to bed with no head covering OR sitting on my sofa with a pillow and no head covering.

Hugs, no need to drastic just yet unless you are a dramatic diva like that...lol.
Click to expand...

Yes, yes, YES :wallbash::wallbash: gigantic PITA..makes me feel like a year's worth of work is just flowing down the toilet...or rather breaking off and falling in my sink. And TY :lachen:I can be a bit headstrong when it comes to diving into "solutions"...but then at some point a bit of reason kicks in and I occasionally need someone else to fish my butt out before I drown.:rolleyes: I love my curls, and I don't want to see them go so I need to fix this ASAP :(
 
Mizani is a good product line, but their relaxers are too strong for me. I use Phyto Index I. Index one is for fine/fragile hair. Index II is for normal to coarse hair.

You should research whether you want to use lye or no lye and that might make your decision a little easier. Phyto is no-lye. It's odorless and gentle, but it's also pricey.
 
No problem SweetSpirit...I know one of these days one y'all will talk me down off the ledge too. LOL

You siggie hair is gorgeous. Thats where I am hoping to get to. Soon.
 
i'm thinking about doing that too (relaxing then transitioning again). i've learned so much from this forum and i know i could do a better job if i tried again. i have the same issue you have as well (the weird splits etc.). let us know what you end up doing. i might have to copy you lol
 
SweetSpirit86 said:
I've already decided I'm going to relax my hair....

....and transition for a minimum of one year. The way I originally planned it. My SSK's are running rampant, and I've got the strangest split ends that I can only attribute to to the pulling from said SSK's. Right now, my little person is living with grandma (marriage, military, move...wants to stay with g-ma before she loses the opportunity) for the school year, so I think this would be a good time to do so.

So what am I asking? Relaxer recommendations. It's only been a year, but already I'm out of the loop and don't know where to begin to look for a GOOD relaxer. I've seen some ladies talk about Mizani, I believe..and some others I'm not too familiar with. Any suggestions?
Click to expand...


I'm not anti-relaxers, don't believe the nonsense about selling out coz of a hair process, etc., and obviously this is your decision but I guess what I don't understand is why you're doing it to transition. Won't you have to deal with the ssk's again in a year's time if you don't learn to manage them now? I can agree that bkt might be preferable if you plan to go natural again coz I think it would help you train your hair not to knot.
 
i did the same thing (I wore weave for a year, but when I take it out, I lose SO much to SSKs and breakage. I texlaxed with phyto 2 (my texture is very kinky (I say 4b, but it might be 4c)

it loosened it but did not straighten it, which is what I want. I love my natual thickness and didnt want to damage it:) HTH
 
Firstly, I just want to echo what others have already said - getting a relaxer is not selling out, not in any way, shape, or form. :yep: Good for you for knowing what works and what doesn't work, and it's great that your fiance is so supportive. :yep:

Secondly, I just wanted to ask you if you have any ideas as to why you might be getting so many single-strand knots? Do you mind sharing your hair care regimen? I am just curious because I've seen SSKs frustrate many women who wear their hair chemical-free (myself included :ohwell:) and was just wondering if there was something that could be done to at least diminish how frequently you get them. :yep:
 
Mizani Butter Blends and Designer. :) I hope you enjoy your relaxed hair and have less trouble than you did with your natural hair.
 
bkprincess617 said:
i'm thinking about doing that too (relaxing then transitioning again). i've learned so much from this forum and i know i could do a better job if i tried again. i have the same issue you have as well (the weird splits etc.). let us know what you end up doing. i might have to copy you lol
Click to expand...

Tiye said:
I'm not anti-relaxers, don't believe the nonsense about selling out coz of a hair process, etc., and obviously this is your decision but I guess what I don't understand is why you're doing it to transition. Won't you have to deal with the ssk's again in a year's time if you don't learn to manage them now? I can agree that bkt might be preferable if you plan to go natural again coz I think it would help you train your hair not to knot.
Click to expand...


AAAH IS that what OP said? Please OP and bkprincess explain why you would want to do this? Let's switch heads!
 
Yes...I, too am confused. I keep reading it over and over, in case I missed something, and I still don't understand. You want to relax again, only to transition....to what? To natural? Or just transition forever??? Or are you experiencing what I call the "do-over" itch?

I'm so confused......:perplexed:
 
You're gonna relax then go natural again? I didn't know if I read right

When I was relaxed my stylist used Affirm, I never attempted to do them myself once I got on the healthy hair journey kick.

Good luck!
 
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