The Nay-sayers Saga: Tell me your stories

[*Muffin*]

I've been going through it this week, so I made a thread about it, and a here-here it goes! . I've been dealing with quite a few nay-sayers about my hair as of late. At my school that I go to there are two girls that insist my hair is "dead and lifeless", despite shine and swang factor! One of them even insisted that I cut it off, while previously insisting I visit her relatives hair salon for a "treatment". Out of my infinite kindness I will not mention the status of their hair (but I'm sure you can take a guess ). Anyway, that's my story for the day, now tell me yours .

 

[Ms_CoCo37]

Sounds like you're dealing with a bunch of haters. There is always going to be someone out there that has something negative to say about your hair (even when unmerited).

My own mother can often times be very critical of my natural hair. She likes it better when I wear my hair straight, because she can see my length. She would be quick to tell me I look pepper-headed when I'd wear twists or just wear it out in its natural state. When I started getting DD's hair done in twists, she had a fit, because DD has major shrinkage like me. But recently my mom became a believer when she saw how much DD's hair has grown since I started getting her hair twisted.

She's slowly coming around, but the negativity still flairs up every now and then.

 

[dachsies_rule!]

Ah yes, the nay-sayers. I had plenty of them when i started my hair journey last year:

"you can't manage your hair without heat"

"your hair will never grow if you don't trim every month"

"it will fall out if you go more than 4 weeks w/o a relaxer"

And my personal favorite:

"black people's hair can't grow to waistlength!"

Now that my hair is healthy and 4 inches from WL, i don't hear $hit from anybody! It's all quiet on the homefront.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I am too old to worry about haters. Most of those people are useless to me.

 

[Vashti]

Most women don't trip about my hair these days but some are still crazy! I get odd, sometimes evil looking stares from women with very short, bad looking relaxed hair or cheap looking weaves when they get on my bus (I'm a city transit bus driver) because I wear my big ol' natural afro puff at the top of my head. The stare starts at the top of my head then they stare at me in contempt. It's a trip. I guess my natural hair offends them or something.

I guess everybody has to have somebody to look down on. I don't worry about it. My hair is steadily growing.

 

[Tif392002]

i convinced my sister to go natural, my mom she is natural- she had an acccident and head to shave her had, and nevr went back to relaxers... my lil sister is thinking of transitioning..my lil brother encorages... my aunt is natural, but straightens her hair 99.999 % of the time so she ahve major heat damage..... so people around me are not so judgmental about natural heads its really coming around:::::: EXCEPT my grandma and grandpa....

my grandma is 68: "girl, when u gone put a perm on yo head and stop walkng aron here looking like ms wolfie by the head" yes her actual words and many more occasions.

my grandpa 76 : tif u walking roun here with that ole scarf on yo head ( satin scarf prolly covering cornrows or twists ) yo grnma say u got sum nappy hair under there ha ha ha ha ha ..

wtf ..

 

[lovenharmony]

My mother used to be a nay-sayer, but not in the way you may think. She would always say that my hair would break off when I started washing it every 3 - 4 days. I told her that my hair loves water and that it's a natural moisturizer. Then when my hair started retaining length, she said that it wasn't because of washing my hair more often, but because I always had that "good hair" (of course I don't believe in "good hair" but my mom still does) if that was the case, my hair should've been down my butt crack decades ago!

 

[myronnie]

Oh don't even get me started...
so I just relaxed my hair and it's almost waist-length (YAY) and my suitemate is just like your hair is long but it has so many split ends...
i'm like i don't see any split ends..what do you mean
and she's like well i mean if you don't cut it for a while you're going to have split ends..
i was just like whatever...

haters keep hatin

 

[chebaby]

when i first chopped all my hair off to 1/2 inch everybody told me i was crazy. no one ever sald my hair wouldnt grow because ive always had somewhat long hair but they said i was crazy and out of my mind for cutting it all off. people told me that it would take forever for it to grow back and they couldnt underatsnd "why i wanted to walk around nappy headed".
then when my hair started growing everyone had positive things to say. but they made sure to end it with "but dont ever cut it again".

 

[*Muffin*]

What really gets me is the back-handed compliments. It always starts out with them ogling my hair and then saying "Your hair is so beautiful but *insert hurtful remark*". Don't get me wrong--I'm all for constructive criticism. There have been times when people told me things about my hair and I had to step back and say "You know what, they're right" and I will re-evaluate my routine. But there's a way to say things. You don't go up to someone you don't know from Eve and tell them that they should cut off all their hair and that it's dead and suggest to them things they should be doing to it. I guess I'm mostly upset because I've been going through a lot of stress lately with school and family trouble, and these hair remarks, even if they are true, are certainly not helping matters. I'll admit, my hair has lost a bit of thickness, but it's not damaged to the point where I should just cut it all off. But I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion .

 

[*Muffin*]

Oh don't even get me started...
so I just relaxed my hair and it's almost waist-length (YAY) and my suitemate is just like your hair is long but it has so many split ends...
i'm like i don't see any split ends..what do you mean
and she's like well i mean if you don't cut it for a while you're going to have split ends..
i was just like whatever...

haters keep hatin

I get that too! And trust me, I have no split ends. I trim on the regular. I honestly don't know what they are seeing. My hair is even. I seriously contemplate if half of these nay-sayers know what a split-end really is .

 

[Zaz]

I get nothing but positive feedback here from my mom and brother. I recently went to NY for a couple of days and my aunt had some negative things to say.
"Oh my God, your hair, it's so nappy! How will you find yourself a nice man and get married with that hair?
But then again she's a negative person so...

 

[Fine 4s]

I posted a thread about this a few weeks ago. But one co-worker seemed supportive at first and when she actually SAW my hair out, she said nothing. I guess that was my confirmation that my hair was b-b-b-b-b-ad to da bone! lol

 

[caribeandiva]

...Out of my infinite kindness I will not mention the status of their hair (but I'm sure you can take a guess )

There you have it. Some people are not even worth giving a second thought to.

 

[caribeandiva]

If you don't have naysayers it probably means you ain't doing nothing.

I went through the same thing.
When i first started: Don't waste your money. Get a weave instead. What makes you think YOU can grow hair.
When I hit full SL a few months later: Complete silence
When I got a huge setback because of anemia and lack of iron: We knew you couldn't do it and you wasted all that money on those expensive hair products too. Your hair probably fell out because of stress anyway.
NOW that I'm back to full SL and CBL in the front: complete silence

Needless to say, I no longer hang out with those people. True friends should encourage you not drag you down to their level.

 

[*Muffin*]

If you don't have naysayers it probably means you ain't doing nothing.

I went through the same thing.
When i first started: Don't waste your money. Get a weave instead. What makes you think YOU can grow hair.
When I hit full SL a few months later: Complete silence
When I got a huge setback because of anemia and lack of iron: We knew you couldn't do it and you wasted all that money on those expensive hair products too. Your hair probably fell out because of stress anyway.
NOW that I'm back to full SL and CBL in the front: complete silence

Needless to say, I no longer hang out with those people. True friends should encourage you not drag you down to their level.

Thanks for keeping it real, caribeandiva. You truly are an inspiration. You didn't give up despite a serious setback and flack from all the haters. All we can do is learn and grow . Glad you silenced those haters. But I have to have some appreciation for the haters. Without them I wouldn't know when I need to step up my game or know that my hair is so great it's enviable .

 

[dachsies_rule!]

If you don't have naysayers it probably means you ain't doing nothing.

I went through the same thing.
When i first started: Don't waste your money. Get a weave instead. What makes you think YOU can grow hair.

When I hit full SL a few months later: Complete silence

When I got a huge setback because of anemia and lack of iron: We knew you couldn't do it and you wasted all that money on those expensive hair products too. Your hair probably fell out because of stress anyway.

NOW that I'm back to full SL and CBL in the front: complete silence

Needless to say, I no longer hang out with those people. True friends should encourage you not drag you down to their level.

I'll bet you could hear the crickets in the background!

 

[cocoaluv]

I BC'ed and at thanksgiving dinner my father asked me if I was going through emotional issues (yes he was serious and yes he asked me in front of everyone) because no normal woman would ever cut off all that hair.



I was only APL prior to my BC but you woulda thought I cut off my hair right there at the damn dinner table with a dinner knife.

 

[Solitude]

I have one!

Me: I think if I go natural, I'm just going to wait a while, like at least a year to cut my hair.

Friend: You can't do that your hair is going to break off.

Me: Nah, I stretch - um, go a long time between my relaxers now and my hair doesn't break.

Friend: You gotta just cut all your hair off if you wanna go natural. You can't wait too long or else your natural hair gets trained.

Me: My hair won't get trained - I don't use direct heat - I mean, I don't flat iron or blow dry my hair hardly ever. I just rollerset it, and I do braidouts and buns and stuff.

Friend: oh (crickets)

To her credit, she does have nice hair. Her hair was long and relaxed before she did the BC. But, I had a similar convo last week with a girl at school who saw me watching a youtube video about hair. SMH, I have to remember to keep my obsession undercover.

 

[*CherryPie*]

deleted stories,,,,,

 

[chebaby]

I have one!

Me: I think if I go natural, I'm just going to wait a while, like at least a year to cut my hair.

Friend: You can't do that your hair is going to break off.

Me: Nah, I stretch - um, go a long time between my relaxers now and my hair doesn't break.

Friend: You gotta just cut all your hair off if you wanna go natural. You can't wait too long or else your natural hair gets trained.

Me: My hair won't get trained - I don't use direct heat - I mean, I don't flat iron or blow dry my hair hardly ever. I just rollerset it, and I do braidouts and buns and stuff.

Friend: oh (crickets)

To her credit, she does have nice hair. Her hair was long and relaxed before she did the BC. But, I had a similar convo last week with a girl at school who saw me watching a youtube video about hair. SMH, I have to remember to keep my obsession undercover.

i used to do this but then i just stopped caring what people thought. people know im crazy about hair. they seen me go from sl relaxed thin bright red and blond hair to the hair in my siggy and then to me having an 1/2 inch of hair. now im a year into this natural game and loving it. and they thought it was a faze

 

[supermodelsonya]

naysayers=motivation

 

[Bene]

I'd be all "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over THE SOUND OF MY HAIR GROWING!!!"

 

[BostonMaria]

I remember when my former hairstylist...
Keyword: FORMER
.. laughed at me about 10 years ago when I told her I was growing out my hair. She made me feel like crap, like I was acting "immature" as if long hair is something only a little girl should want. I stopped going to her back in 2001 because she's just shady.

Fast forward to now and I sometimes walk into her salon if I know my sister is there and I want to say hello. The former stylist now has nothing to say, she ain't laughing now! My hair is healthy and she can't say its because of her help. She's not a hater, her hair is BSL and very nice. She's just one of those people that "advised" me not to go natural because she wanted to make sure I spent $120 a month on her services.

 

[equestrian]

I've been going through it this week, so I made a thread about it, and a here-here it goes! . I've been dealing with quite a few nay-sayers about my hair as of late. At my school that I go to there are two girls that insist my hair is "dead and lifeless", despite shine and swang factor! One of them even insisted that I cut it off, while previously insisting I visit her relatives hair salon for a "treatment". Out of my infinite kindness I will not mention the status of their hair (but I'm sure you can take a guess ). Anyway, that's my story for the day, now tell me yours .

My hair used to be full armpit length. It broke to shoulder length and my friend who is currently APL snickers it's going to all fall out(it breaks off doesn't fall out, saying it's "falling out" makes me feel like an old lady or cancer patient lol).

I'm cowashing daily, always keeping my hair up in a banana clip, applying my MTG daily. I'll catch up to her I was APL before she was after all. I'll grow to brastrap length by december and we'll who's laughing then.

 

[locabouthair]

I get nothing but positive feedback here from my mom and brother. I recently went to NY for a couple of days and my aunt had some negative things to say.
"Oh my God, your hair, it's so nappy! How will you find yourself a nice man and get married with that hair?
But then again she's a negative person so...

wow. So I guess if you dont have straight hair you're doomed to be single

My mom rolled her eyes when I told her I wanted to get to APL. I've had people tell me to trim my hair every 8 weeks and to use pink oil lotion. I stopped talking about my hair with people. If they bring it up, I change the subject because I dont have time for the ignorance.

 

[esi.adokowa]

my sisters are sort of supportive of my hair journey.
and my dad could care less about what's on my head.
but oh man, my mum.
everytime i start talking about how i eventually would like to have waistlength hair, she starts looking at me sideways.
and then she starts with the comments.
"ghanaian hair just doesn't grow that long"
"all the girls on that website are mixed. you're an african"
"even araba's hair (my cousin, she has the longest hair of any ghanaian we know, her hair is a bit past apl) is not that long."
"your new growth is too thick to wait so long before relaxing."
and on and on.

i can't wait to relax my hair. i'll be past apl then and we'll see who's looking at who sideways.

 

[caribeandiva]

Thanks for keeping it real, caribeandiva. You truly are an inspiration. You didn't give up despite a serious setback and flack from all the haters. All we can do is learn and grow . Glad you silenced those haters. But I have to have some appreciation for the haters. Without them I wouldn't know when I need to step up my game or know that my hair is so great it's enviable .

You dig!

If you don't have haters or nay-sayers it probably means you ain't doing nothing!

 

[brittanynic16]

Last year I was at work and I was looking at a magazine and saw a picture of a woman with hair that was anywhere for BSL to MBL. At the time a friend was sitting next to me. The conversation went like this:

Me: This is the length I want my hair to be.

Her: What!! That is the length you want...ha ha ha ha!

Me: What so funny?

Her: Um..no n*gga! Your hair cannot grow that long. This is the length you'll get to at the most(points a picture of a woman with APL hair)

Me: Really?

Her: Yeah

She then starts to show people the picture and tell them that I can't grow my hair that long. So, I told her since she was so convinced we should make it a bet. So we bet that I would have the same length a year from that day. She agreed, and we even signed a funny little contracted with witnesses and everything. So, everyone at work knows about the bet. Ten months later...my hair is scrapping BSL. Her punishment will be to tell people at the job that she is jealous, bald and ignorant. I can't wait.

Its funny because everyone is going for me and can't wait for her speech. Whenever she is around they will say "Brittany your hair getting so long." She usually just rollers her eyes.

I should start writing the speech soon.

 

[lilsparkle825]

She then starts to show people the picture and tell them that I can't grow my hair that long. So, I told her since she was so convinced we should make it a bet. So we bet that I would have the same length a year from that day. She agreed, and we even signed a funny little contracted with witnesses and everything. So, everyone at work knows about the bet. Ten months later...my hair is scrapping BSL. Her punishment will be to tell people at the job that she is jealous, bald and ignorant. I can't wait.

i can't wait for that thread.