If you need courage to do the BC, does that mean you aren't ready?

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Opinions please?

 

[missann]

Not really. I think 90% of black women would have to summon up some kind of courage because we've been taught to hide our natural hair for so long. Also, there's bound to be negative reactions so anyone would have to brace herself. It's a drastic change for most people so it's normal to be apprehensive.

 

[LivinMyLifeLikeItsGolden]

No, I don't think so. Its a big change when you have to cut all your hair off and also learn to live with a new texture and learn how to care for it. I think it takes courage whether you are ready or not. I think if you are very hesitant or have second thoughts that maybe you're not ready.

 

[Damaged but not out]

I think most people would be apprehensive about cutting off their hair.
Especially if u never had a short do before.
Or if u spent the last cpl of years growing ur hair long, saying good-bye to all that history...tough

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I'm a year post and i'm thinkin i "may" be ready. One of my big hesitations though is styling short hair. I'm mid back right now and it's great! I don't want to bc then have to wear a slicked back twa all the time or a wash n go. I like options!! And wigs/weaves/braids are NOT my bag

 

[*CherryPie*]

I think if you have to summon up courage, then you're not ready.

I was transitioning and I knew I wasn't ready when I became anxious about it. It's a change in our hair. I think we don't always do it for the right reasons.
Some do it for a style change. Some do it for "blackness" sake. Some do it to fit into the "natural club". You gotta do it for the right reasons or we won't even be satisfied after the BC.

A lot of times we transition, then change our minds and feel like we're letting others down when we change our minds. I hear folks on here and YouTube talk about going through that.

I'm not saying that this is what's happening with you. I just had to point that out.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Here is what my hair was like natchal and short when i first joined the board:

I dunno if i'm ready to go back to this but i'm startin to despise this relaxed texture...

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I think if you have to summon up courage, then you're not ready.

I was transitioning and I knew I wasn't ready when I became anxious about it. It's a change in our hair. I think we don't always do it for the right reasons.
Some do it for a style change. Some do it for "blackness" sake. Some do it to fit into the "natural club". You gotta do it for the right reasons or we won't even be satisfied after the BC.

A lot of times we transition, then change our minds and feel like we're letting others down when we change our minds. I hear folks on here and YouTube talk about going through that.

I'm not saying that this is what's happening with you. I just had to point that out.

Good points

 

[jazii]

I think it's more of "what will I look like with this short hair?", especially when you've never wore your hair that short before. Personally, that was my biggest concern when I wanted to BC...


question? is your hair relaxed now? or currently looks like your siggi?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I think it's more of "what will I look like with this short hair?", especially when you've never wore your hair that short before. Personally, that was my biggest concern when I wanted to BC...


question? is your hair relaxed now? or currently looks like your siggi?

I'm texlaxed, transition has been exactly 1 year. I may have 4 or 5 inches of growth (i haven't felt like measuring). That picture is current as of maybe a week or two ago. I posted a pic of my natural hair short a few posts up

 

[*CherryPie*]

I've never worn a wig, but there are a lot of folks that transition under a wig until they get enough hair to BC.

But that's If you can deal with the summer heat under a wig.

Here is what my hair was like natchal and short when i first joined the board:

I dunno if i'm ready to go back to this but i'm startin to despise this relaxed texture...

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I've never worn a wig, but there are a lot of folks that transition under a wig until they get enough hair to BC.

But that's If you can deal with the summer heat under a wig.

I know i personally can't. I's needs to be free!!!

I'm going to go downstairs, put some conditioner on my hair and do a little look see of how much growth i have. If it looks long enough i may chop tonight. I'll have to see

 

[*CherryPie*]

^^^^Good idea! Maybe you need to just get it over with! LOL

 

[Foxglove]

So... did you do it?

 

[Junebug D]

A year post? You can do pretty much every style with a year's worth of growth besides a bun or ponytail. You may even be able to do one of those if you stretch it out enough.

 

[LynnieB]

Seems thinking and talking about change are fairly simple things to do especially when you're on a hair board or amongst like-minded friends/family.

Actually physically making that change possible is something different. You usually don't have the benefit of your like minded friends/family/hair board sisters to steel your spine and cheer you on while your sitting in a barber's chair or standing in front of your bathroom mirror.

It's just you, the mirror and those scissors and that little voice.

If your mind is 90-100% made up to go for it, any misgivings are tossed to the side and the little voice inside your head whispering 2nd thoughts is on mute.

But if you're not really ready then that little voice becomes a screeching banshee of doubt. You'll either just say screw it and cut & cry or you'll hang in there a bit longer.

If someone really needs mucho courage to BC then I always thought it best to just leave things alone and wait it out until the time is right.

(Then again there are those who've had tons of misgivings, went for it anyway and do just fine. There are also those who've done it and you can tell that they are in total, utter misery. )


Sheesh - I'm no help at all

Good Luck! (btw, your hair looks great either way).

 

[BlondeByDesire]

I'm apprehensive about doing the BC but I'm ready to do it. For me it's the unknown of having short natural hair. Something I've never had before. I've alway had SL to BSL hair while relaxed. I've been transitioning for over 15 months now and it's time. My BC is scheduled for this Saturday.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Good morning ladies

No. I didn't chop and it was for two main reasons: 1 - in a lot of areas I can not tell where the line of demarcation is. As you can see in my sig most of me texture is pretty nappy. In the back I can tell because its stringy but in the crown and sides and front it isn't. 2 - for thw areas that I can tell I don't think I have enough hair for a ponytail which I must have

So for now I will try and wait patiently but don't be suprised if within the next few months I do it.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I'm apprehensive about doing the BC but I'm ready to do it. For me it's the unknown of having short natural hair. Something I've never had before. I've alway had SL to BSL hair while relaxed. I've been transitioning for over 15 months now and it's time. My BC is scheduled for this Saturday.

Wow!! I can't wait to see your pics. How much hair length do you think you have at 15 months post?

 

[Nonie]

I think change scares everyone. When I had to go to boarding school, I was a nervous wreck. I'd be away from everything I knew and in the middle of everything unfamiliar. Same thing when I had to fly out of my home country to go to the unknown "overseas".

There's also a type of security blanket effect in having hair, not unlike the one I feel wearing glasses. Every optician I have seen has recommended contacts and while my excuse for turning them down is usually that I haven't got the patience for them or that I don't like things in my eyes, there's also the real dread of being "naked". I feel so "safe" behind my glasses. I think losing hair that you've gotten so accustomed to having can leave you feeling somewhat vulnerable.

But just like once I jumped out of the nest and gave my wings a little flap, I discovered that I can fly all by myself and that it really is OK, likewise once you cross that bridge, after the initial shock, you will come to find it really isn't that scary after all! A door to new adventures will have opened up for you!

 

[Lynnerie]

Good morning ladies

No. I didn't chop and it was for two main reasons: 1 - in a lot of areas I can not tell where the line of demarcation is. As you can see in my sig most of me texture is pretty nappy. In the back I can tell because its stringy but in the crown and sides and front it isn't. 2 - for thw areas that I can tell I don't think I have enough hair for a ponytail which I must have

So for now I will try and wait patiently but don't be suprised if within the next few months I do it.

I learn something new everyday on this forum cause I thought you were natural.

 

[NaturalBoss]

I think that's a good question. Many people need courage to make any kind of change. I transitioned for about 8 months before I BC'd. It wasn't really because I was scared to chop my hair off. It was because I absolutely hate the way I look w/ an afro. I wish I looked right w/ an afro (like Jill Scott did on the Monique show a few nights ago), but I just don't. Therefore, I had to plan out what I was gonna do w/ my hair while it was short. I love kinky twists so that's what I wore most of the time after I BC'd. But what I had to think about was if I really wanted to put out all that money to keep it up. My kinky twists have to be re-done every 2 months or they won't look good. Another thing is that I was never really a wig-wearing type of person. However, I started wearing wigs last October and now they have become my protective style. My natural hair is almost long enough to wear out (for my taste) so I will be posting pics in about 2 weeks after I get it pressed.

 

[PPGbubbles]

In my opinion if you have to talk yourself into it you are not ready

Going natural does not need to involve hair martyrdom. If your transition is going smoothly and you find that you can manage the two textures I see no reason why one should cut.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I think change scares everyone. When I had to go to boarding school, I was a nervous wreck. I'd be away from everything I knew and in the middle of everything unfamiliar. Same thing when I had to fly out of my home country to go to the unknown "overseas".

There's also a type of security blanket effect in having hair, not unlike the one I feel wearing glasses. Every optician I have seen has recommended contacts and while my excuse for turning them down is usually that I haven't got the patience for them or that I don't like things in my eyes, there's also the real dread of being "naked". I feel so "safe" behind my glasses. I think losing hair that you've gotten so accustomed to having can leave you feeling somewhat vulnerable.

But just like once I jumped out of the nest and gave my wings a little flap, I discovered that I can fly all by myself and that it really is OK, likewise once you cross that bridge, after the initial shock, you will come to find it really isn't that scary after all! A door to new adventures will have opened up for you!

Glasses as a security blanket? That is very very interesting Nonie. You are spot on in what you said

 

[doll-baby]

For me this is true I am almost 6 months post right now and I do not have the courage to BC because I am not ready. However I feel that when I am ready I will be confident in my decision.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Quit talking about me! (kidding) I started a thread about it and I'm not going to lie, I was very apprehensive about doing the BC. It had been TWENTY YEARS since I had very short natural hair and that was due to a bad stylist. If it had been by choice it would have been very different, but it wasn't. The experience alone scared the younger me.

I asked myself if I was ready for that, the family questions, and the journey of figuring out my hair. I can't/don't cornrow due to carpal tunnel and I know I'm not wanting to spend loads of cash that I don't have for someone to fix it so from that aspect my styling options were more limited. With that said, it was a very big deal to me.... especially when so many people put so much weight in the concept of femininity equating to long hair... not to mention society's views on straight hair. Don't get me wrong, I have alot of confidence and I don't normally care what people think (and deep down I didn't this time either), I was just taking time to assess MY mindset and how much I allowed the other stuff to affect ME. Change. It boiled down to change and the grace to ease through it.

I eventually got tunnel vision. By the end I didn't see anything except scraggly relaxed ends and two textures that were bugging the heck out of me lol. I BC'ed and I haven't looked back. I was ready because I went through with it. I feel/felt no remorse AND I can't keep my hands out of my hair.

I won't lie, the shrinkage is CRAZY!!!! Good googa mooga!!! I've realized that my curls have the capability of popping but I'm still figuring it out. I was hesitant but I was ready. There's nothing wrong with analyzing as long as you arrive at your destination.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Nonie that was an awesome post.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I wish I could thank and multiquote everyone but I can't due to being on my blackberry. Lynnerry - yes I am texlaxed . I'm exactly one year post. Doll baby, ppg and diamond thank you for your insight. LMG - you are a nut and I love ya

 

[Nonie]

Glasses as a security blanket? That is very very interesting Nonie. You are spot on in what you said

You think I'm playing? And cause they're Transitions, the blanket works even better on sunny days. And it's not as crazy as you think. I can swear there was a thread about glasses in the OT and a few people agreed with me on this. If you're shy--and lawd knows I am--there's nothing like being "in disguise" so people can't see you. (<--- I sound like my cat! He buries his head under a rug and swear you can't see his big butt sticking out. Kinda like kids: if they cover their eyes and can't see you, then you obviously can't see them! Bless their hearts.)

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

You think I'm playing? And cause they're Transitions, the blanket works even better on sunny days. And it's not as crazy as you think. I can swear there was a thread about glasses in the OT and a few people agreed with me on this. If you're shy--and lawd knows I am--there's nothing like being "in disguise" so people can't see you. (<--- I sound like my cat! He buries his head under a rug and swear you can't see his big butt sticking out. Kinda like kids: if they cover their eyes and can't see you, then you obviously can't see them! Bless their hearts.)

Interesting! I totally get what you are saying now. I used to do that all the time my blanket would be to just not make eye contact