Calling all doctors .... hair doctors that is.

[almond eyes]

Here I am about to stir the pot. I have the same type of strands except even finer and I actually had a harder time dealing with my relaxed hair and my hair can't take a lot of heat. My hair used to be super dry until I got my regiment down pat last year and now that I do my life is a lot easier. With that being said, I just think that some women just aren't ready to deal with natural hair and it doesn't make you a weak person. By the way, you have beautiful hair.

My BF who has a lovely head of relaxed hair has been wanting to go natural because of her exercise routine but she said she cannot see herself in anything but straight hair and any slight wave, kink or poof puts her in a panic mode and makes her feel not pretty and counting down the days to the next touch up, so I have told her don't even hurt your head, stay relaxed. I think if you prefer to wear your hair straight 'fuss' free then relax it. It seems that you thought your curls would loosen up as they got longer though I think your curls have elongated the problem is that you probably had hoped your curls would be big and boingy and this could mean that you are not really at peace with your hair texture.

However, my own personal opinion is that you have to examine why you decided to go natural in the first place, if you did it to prove that you could or because you just wanted to see your own hair texture then you have already proved your point but if you are a natural head because your hair wasn't compatible with relaxers then you have to be realistic about your hair texture.

Whenever I would get relaxers at the almost SL length when my hair was natural, I would envision my hair would look a certain way and then I would get it relaxed and my hair would look like a wavy texturiser in some parts and then remain exactly the same way like how my natural hair looks and when it was straightened because it was fine it would look like someone had taken plaster to my head. I would end up just doing protective styles because my hair could never do anything in relaxed hair.

Now, you could wear your hair heat straightened but if the issue was not to wear the hair straight but to see if your hair could do the 3C thing then you have to make some kind of peace with what you were born with. A texturiser might turn those coffee stirrers into strings.


Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! what kinda camera you got girl? i would love to take pics of my hair that came out that clear. ♥

 

[sharifeh]

wow! I love your hair! I'm sorry you are frustrated with it.
If you want to relax or texlax, think long and hard and don't do it out of frustration. Maybe you can try something that's not permanent like BKT, see if you like it maybe?

 

[Krymsonkween]

OP here is a hug! I feel ya cause my hair is just like that. I tried to go natural but became frustrated and as one poster said had to do wat was best for me. I was not ready to be natural. I love my relaxed hair n have learned to care for it.

Be blessed and remember at the end of the day it is ur decision.

 

[newports]

i have the same kind of springs in my hair & they are a BEAST to detangle because the hairs clump together all by themselves. i dont have that many though. maybe about 10 springs located randomly throughout my head. i wonder if mine will look like that 5 inches from now

lord why do i have so many different hair textures?

 

[Mdmommy99]

I think your hair is gorgeous. If you have 100% decided that you just can't deal with it and want to relax I would say go for it but if you are on the fence just give it some time. Try getting it straightened as some of the other ladies have suggested or braided etc, just to give yourself a break from having to think about it for a while. I love my natural hair but even I have gone through periods where it just makes me want to chop it all off. Just give it a little thought first.

 

[bludaydreamr]

Hugs OP! My hair is very similar to yours. I wear twist all the time I was not crazy about the sytle at first when I BC'd, really I didn't like any natural style I figured I continue to straighten. The more I wore them the more they grew on me.

I would say get extensions put your hair a way for a bit, but I would not suggest relaxing out of frustration. Remember that you also have the option to BKT and for some naturals it is a versatile option. Longhairdon'tcare2011 her hair is awesome, and she is a heat straightened type 4. Ultimately you have to be happy with your hair, so think about it, give it some time, and then make your decision.

 

[LadyRaider]

In the bigger picture, whether you are relaxed or natural or wear a weave makes no difference. There are bigger fish to fry, I'm sure in your life.

If you decided to relax tomorrow, the very next day you could decide to transition again. It's all good.

 

[Janet']

Thank you Firstborn2, I guess I feel like I'm giving up. Or like the people that know me as natural will make it a big deal. It's kinda funny because when i first went natural, I felt the way I feel now about relaxing.

It seems to me that you are just really frustrated right now...Ultimately, whatever decision that you make- YOU must live with it...I say, before you make any decision, calm down a little first-you don't want to do something that you might regret out of anger or frustration. As a natural of 4 years, I can agree that this is a road that has its ups and downs, but for me-natural is the only way to go...I will say that for a couple of years, I just wore my hair straight (flat ironed) because that is what "I" wanted to do...at the end of the day, do "you"...I just want you to figure out what "you" is, ya know? Hugs OP, it's going to be ok...

 

[Lola Laughs]

Hey Barbie--I don't have anything to add that has not been said---but your hair is stunning. The large pics were so dramatic, breathtaking really. I'm not being overdramatic, I just think your hair is awesome.

 

[My Friend]

I love your coffee stirrers. Maybe consider the advice of some to get braids, weave or a wig and then make a decision another day.

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

Hey OP, I sent you a PM.

 

[NIN4eva]

Thanks, but it's just at a point as to where I don't know what the crap to do with it. :/ I can only imagine when it gets long as your hair. I will probably be sick of it. lol! I have yet to find anybody that has the same exact coil as mine. And if they do then their hair isn't as coarse as mine. It's like thick as a thread. It's pretty much only soft when wet or flat ironed lol.

My hair coils like yours. It is probably not as thick though. I gave in and relaxed. I'm hoping it's better than using heat on a regular basis.

 

[WantNatural]

Okay, I just ran to the bathroom and checked, and yes, I definitely have those coffee-stirrer size coils running all up and through my head! I have a twa (4-5 inches) right now so I just WNG, I can't really sympathize with what you are experiencing right now because I do not have the length. Like everyone else I think your hair is beautiful, but I can understand if you are frustrated. Take some time to think about it and then do whatever you feel will be best for you and your hair!

 

[danigurl18]

The middle of my head has those curls and they are to deal with no I feel you there but don't be discouraged mama! Try some weave, braids or wigs before commiting to relaxing yet

 

[chellero]

It's pretty. If you're tired of being natural relax, or texlax. It's just hair. Might as well enjoy it.

 

[asubeauty]

Aw, I think your hair is pretty, and if it makes you feel any better, I have those same coffee stirrer curls at the crown of my head.

 

[NerdSauce]

I could see how those coffee stirrer coils could be problematic, but they are GORGEOUS o

Seriously, you have some of the prettiest (and I mean PRETTIEST) natural hair I have ever seen.

I hope you can find a way to make it a little easier/quicker to deal with. (And I must say that I am crazy impressed that you seem to have absolutely no heat damage whatsoever.. make's that hana seem even more attractive...even though i have an fhi...)

 

[ceecy29]

It keeps coming up again and again, the issue of hair that is never soft except when wet or flat ironed. I think we need a roll call of how many have hair like this.

Seriously, this is how my hair is and I can spend money doing everything listed by others but my hair will always be this way. It doesn't mean my hair isn't moisturized. That's just the way certain textures are.

The only thing that I've found that makes it 'feel' soft is twisting it up, for some reason, manipulating it into twists or plaits etc., gives it that soft feeling. Since, you don't like any of those styles- "afrocentric styles"- I don't see how else you can be happy with your hair, as those are the things/styles your hair likes. Wanting to curl up on itself and all.

Your best bet might be to relax or become a straight natural.

 

[blackbarbie986]

dont really have any tips at this time but your hair is gorgeous!

 

[MRJ1972]

Im sorry u r frustrated, but I LOVE your hair!!!

I can only DREAM of having your thickness...

Maybe some ladies with similar textures & thickness can chime in and give you some suggestions...

Unfortunately I dont have any advice because I am working with thin, fine hair over here! erplexed

 

[Platinum]

I'm sure my opinion doesn't really matter but I think your hair is beautiful! I'm transitioning and I noticed that I have quiet a few coils like yours as well. I understand you are frustrated but maybe you should try weaves or braids for a while. Don't relax out of frustration. Good luck OP!

 

[Lynnerie]

It keeps coming up again and again, the issue of hair that is never soft except when wet or flat ironed. I think we need a roll call of how many have hair like this.

Seriously, this is how my hair is and I can spend money doing everything listed by others but my hair will always be this way. It doesn't mean my hair isn't moisturized. That's just the way certain textures are.

The only thing that I've found that makes it 'feel' soft is twisting it up, for some reason, manipulating it into twists or plaits etc., gives it that soft feeling. Since, you don't like any of those styles- "afrocentric styles"- I don't see how else you can be happy with your hair, as those are the things/styles your hair likes. Wanting to curl up on itself and all.

Your best bet might be to relax or become a straight natural.

For the OP, like others have said you have to do whats best for you. If you dont like certain styles on you there's nothing wrong with that. I dont think the OP has issues with her texture. She obviously knows what it can and cannot do which is why she is considering another option. This website is full of options and there are ladies with long healthy hair that are natural, textlaxed, and relaxed. Make a list of the pros and cons of being natural and relaxed. That should help you make your decision.