"You're trying to be white!"

[chayil0427]

I love my church. I've grown so much in Christ there, and I've met many really wonderful ladies there. Yet, today, one of my favorite sisters came up to me and said, "I see you're doing better with the hair" or something to that effect referring to a somewhat poodle like roller set I had last week. I just smiled, and explained to her that I'd been trying new ways of styling my hair with less heat and test driving some new products. She ask me for details and commented that I was trying to be white because of my choice of products and wash regimine (I wash up to three times weekly and it works beautifully for my hair). I instantly thought of a comment someone made on LHCF about taking advice from people whose hair looks worse or at least not any better than yours. From looking at her hair I saw no reason to follow her advice against not, "using products/techniques made for white people."

How do you ladies respond to people who have antiquated ideas about treating black hair? What things have you done to your hair that have brought up the "trying to be white comment"? and how did you respond?

Chayil

 

[ccd]

Just smile and let your growth show them instead of saying and debating anything.....after a while, they will ask you if you are wearing a weave! That's when you know you are making "progress"...

DO your thing.....

 

[chayil0427]

Just smile and let your growth show them instead of saying and debating anything.....after a while, they will ask you if you are wearing a weave! That's when you know you are making "progress"...

DO your thing.....

Amen! I've done happy dances in my desk chair for so many ladies on here who have reached the esteemed, "Is that a weave?" level of hair growth. I can't wait for the day.

 

[ccd]

then, after they are done checking your hairline,perhaps trying to put their hands on your scalp, checking for tracks.....then they will ask you what do you do to keep your hair so healthy?????

That's when I laugh inside I don't divulge LHCF...but I'll give a little bit that's all.....this place is my guilty pleasure! Glad to be back too

 

[prettywhitty]

I listened to someone give hair advice about rollersetting. To eliminate frizz, she said to use the brown gel on your ends, and then roll. That if you did that, your hair wouldn't move. All I can say is that suprised me, and that I noticed that her hair was broken in some places. I did try to say something to the lady she was talking to, but neither was trying to listen. Oh well.

And while I haven't gotten the trying to be white comment yet... I know it's coming because I get weird looks when I say that I condition wash twice a week and wash it once a week. I'll just say that is what works for me!

 

[chayil0427]

I listened to someone give hair advice about rollersetting. To eliminate frizz, she said to use the brown gel on your ends, and then roll. That if you did that, your hair wouldn't move. All I can say is that suprised me, and that I noticed that her hair was broken in some places. I did try to say something to the lady she was talking to, but neither was trying to listen. Oh well.

And while I haven't gotten the trying to be white comment yet... I know it's coming because I get weird looks when I say that I condition wash twice a week and wash it once a week. I'll just say that is what works for me!

ooooooooooooooh snap! Brown gel! The ULTIMATE sin. That stuff is lethal

 

[lovelymissyoli]

People get defensive when you go against the norm! Can anyone honestly say that before you came to hair boards you didn't believe the same thing about a lot of black haircare myths? Did you know any better?

I would kindly explain how it benefits MY hair and just let my hair speak for itself. Sooner or later she'll be asking you for haircare tips.

 

[shunta]

Dont even sweat that stuff, girl. Sometimes I must admit that it is hard to ignore crazy comments like that. People tell me that I want to be white, too, because I wash my hair pretty often as well. I like my hair to be bouncy and I dont use grease, so when I tell people that I dont like to use grease in my hair (I guess they figure that since Im black that I should be using grease) they look at me like Im crazy. I put oil in my hair, just not grease. So they tell me that I think Im white, but I just ignore them and laugh it off. And I continue to go about my day with my hair bouncing like a "white girl".

 

[Choclatcotton]

Yes Chayil, I get mixed reviews also for my poodle like braid outs, from my church sisters, some ask me how or what im doing, they love the natural krinkle, others nervously laugh ask the comment, if im taking a break from pressing, and others just look at me as in disbelief that im coming out in public like that? But aint nobody dropping beauty salon money for me so the results of cowashes and no heat styles will speak for themselves. You said the Key word ANTIQUATed thinking? is that a word? lol anyway most say, for loss of words, "It looks so thick and healthy"

 

[MizAvalon]

I used to get dumb comments all the time too. I never heard the "you're trying to be white" one but I did hear "your hair is going to break off", "your hair will fall out". All kinds of dumb mess.

Fast forward to today and my hair is almost to the small of my BACK. Where are these advice givers now? Looking STUPID.

The one thing that I always wanted to say but never had the guts to was "If following the advice that you just gave me is what got YOUR hair looking like THAT, then no thanks, I'll pass!"

 

[dynamic1]

Can anyone honestly say that before you came to hair boards you didn't believe the same thing about a lot of black haircare myths? Did you know any better?

Yes.
chayil, in a few months she will be begging for tips.

 

[Lucia]

Amen! I've done happy dances in my desk chair for so many ladies on here who have reached the esteemed, "Is that a weave?" level of hair growth. I can't wait for the day.

Brush it off, when they see your progress they'll start asking all kinds of questions.
That's the ultimate compliment alright, I mean your hair has to be amazingly slammin for someone to think and say out loud it's unbeweavable.
If thier just curious I'd answer no it's all mine, but if they were too rude like I'd hate to see your weave bill then I'd answer: You wish

 

[chayil0427]

Thanks ladies. I just went home last night and washed that comment right out of my hair. The deep condition has left my tresses silky smooth...lol. I wonder what she'll say tonight at church.

Chayil

 

[DDTexlaxed]

The sad fact is that no matter what u do, there will always be haters in the midst. That is why U gotta do what's right for you. I don't understand why some sistas are negative. Why is it when u don't go along w. their program then u R trying 2B white? Your hair must be fab to bring that comment out.

 

[ekomba]

I love my church. I've grown so much in Christ there, and I've met many really wonderful ladies there. Yet, today, one of my favorite sisters came up to me and said, "I see you're doing better with the hair" or something to that effect referring to a somewhat poodle like roller set I had last week. I just smiled, and explained to her that I'd been trying new ways of styling my hair with less heat and test driving some new products. She ask me for details and commented that I was trying to be white because of my choice of products and wash regimine (I wash up to three times weekly and it works beautifully for my hair). I instantly thought of a comment someone made on LHCF about taking advice from people whose hair looks worse or at least not any better than yours. From looking at her hair I saw no reason to follow her advice against not, "using products/techniques made for white people."

How do you ladies respond to people who have antiquated ideas about treating black hair? What things have you done to your hair that have brought up the "trying to be white comment"? and how did you respond?

Chayil

lol girl i do just like you I first look at the hair of the person telling me not to do this or that even if its family member or a coworker/friend and if its jacked up whatever she says goes in one ear and comes out the other or if its in great health and i admire it i ask a million questions and do try it their way. (but knowing myself i do just try stuff if i tell you that i now wash my teeth with soap ahhahahahah like advertised here it foams and it s not bad it leaves the teeth feeling clean)

I hear you about the white comment, the only time i heard it was when i said i wash my hair every 3 days. My friends still think the more the hair is dirty, the more it grows lol

 

[Denim And Leather]

It sounds like this person is jealous. When people see you doing something good for yourself (in this case, your hair), the name calling comes out.

 

[paradise224]

then, after they are done checking your hairline,perhaps trying to put their hands on your scalp, checking for tracks.....then they will ask you what do you do to keep your hair so healthy?????

That's when I laugh inside I don't divulge LHCF...but I'll give a little bit that's all.....this place is my guilty pleasure! Glad to be back too

Hey, i just went back to my work study job at school (after a whole summer long of fantabulous growth ) and one of my bosses played with my hair while i talked to the other one, it was kind of like a pat as well!! Now that i read your post and the more i think about it, that h*****r was trying to feel my hair for tracks!!!! The other boss had just commented on how long and thick it had gotten. HOT DOG!! guess i'll take that as a compliment

 

[Candiss]

People who make comments like that are showing their ignorance. The fact that someone in this day and age would still say "you trying to be white" proves how ignorant they are. As soon as I heard the "You just trying.." I would have know what she was going to say and would have just walked away in the middle of her sentence leaving her with the mouth hanging open looking like the fool she is.

 

[planodiva]

Ladies loving the post. Y'all making me laugh too hard. I had a stylist tell me once that I thought I was a white girl.

Str-8 walking out the door like WHAT...

 

[chayil0427]

Thanks ladies....it's good to be part of the club.

Chayil

 

[sareca]

I say, "Hair is hair." Or "Nawl, but I ain't trying to be bald either."

 

[santia]

People get defensive when you go against the norm! Can anyone honestly say that before you came to hair boards you didn't believe the same thing about a lot of black haircare myths? Did you know any better?

I would kindly explain how it benefits MY hair and just let my hair speak for itself. Sooner or later she'll be asking you for haircare tips.

Co-signing