Woe is me...

[Bublnbrnsuga]

As you all know, I cut off my permed ends,which I do not regret at all, but what I am experiencing is hair style traumas. I think that I am going through that in-between stage,because my hair just won't do right. I have an incredible amount of shrinkage and the different textures makes it no better. No matter what style I try to create, I end up placing my hair in a jacked up bun. The only style that I am comfortable with is two strand twisting and taking them down,but darnit, that can't be my only style. I assumed that since I did the chop,my styles would be more elegant and unique,but they ain't,doggonit. Help me,help me please! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

[pookeylou]

I saw something on NP.com that I think is appropriate here. I wish I could get to it...I would cut and paste it.

But just a brief overview of the thread discussed what is "normal" to go through with naptural hair.

You will get frustrated at times...this is new to many of us...especially those who only "dealt with" natural hair by pressing it...or never dealt with natural hair at all.

You will try a ton of products for curl definition for softness, etc. But mainly to get the "curly defined look" that so many of us have loved.

You will get to the point where you except what your hair will do...and love that.

You will come up with a few basic styles and stick to your "classic signature style" that is simply you.

I said that to say this: Just experiment, buy magazines, look at the natural heads of hair in the galleries on the web (especially at NP.com) and HAVE FUN WITH YOUR HAIR!

I wore my twist out for the first time last month...it was not perfect...but practicing has helped me to get to the point where I feel it looks great. My signature style is the two strand twist-bantu knot out...but I have now ventured into the coily puff. I was afraid to try for a long time...worried that it was not "polished" enough. You eventually get over that...the more you practice and come to love your unique hair.

I took ANOTHER (I visit there frequently) quick look in your album. You've got some gorgeous stuff! I vote for the "letting it be free puff"...with a great scarf and some banging earrings...aint nobody going to be able to tell you NOTHIN...but that you look GOOD!

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Aww Pooky poo LOL, thanks for the comments and suggestions. After the continual struggle with styling my hair,ofcourse I thought about straightening it,but I know I can't run to the blowdryer and flat iron when my hair doesn't do right-that defeats the purpose of my going natural and wanting healthy hair,too. I have made a personal agreement with myself to ONLY straighten my hair once a month or not at all.

 

[pookeylou]

Here it is:

While growing out your hair expect the following:

1. Your hair will be dry and you will buy tons of products to moisturize it or try several regimens.
2. You will yearn to wear your hair out but be too afraid to unless you have a slamming twist-out or "curl definition"
3. You will try to "harmlessly" straighten you hair by pressing, blowdrying, rollersetting, weaving, etc. without seeing that it obviously only delays your progress to become happy with naps.
4. You will wish for your hairs to be slightly looser in curl or kink (and some even secretly feel their hair is a curse).
5. You will become obsessed with hair.
6. You will realize that it's really all in your head and white people actually adore nappy hair.
7. You will find a nice regimen and for a moment, refuse to share it with others because you think someone may have been holding out on you.
8. You will learn REAL PATIENCE.
9. Your personality will change slightly because you are receiving more attention and have a different look.
10. You will finally understand what being napptural is.

Though not everyone will feel the same, I think that to some degree, we all experience the above things just by making the choice to be natural.

To close, the two best tips anyone gave me was (1)back in BHSGO when someone said PATIENCE and (2)Lorraine Massey for adding CONDITIONER ONLY.



I thought this was excellent...you know what to expect with natural hair...so you are not shocked when it happens. I wish I had seen this when I first "went" natural.

 

[CocoaCure]

Awwww, hang in there Bublnbrnsugar!! Great advice Pookeylou!! Just excellent! This is the best hair site around! But I am going to give that NP one a try. I've never been there before! GReat going. I'm still tranisitioning and will big chop in June/July when I feel like I'll have "enough" hair. I want to at least have enough to put back in a bun! Also, I would like to find a natural salon here in Dallas so I can learn how to do some other styles! Or I'll just have to get with our Dallas group and bug SVT to school me in great natural styles!!! Here me SVT??? But again, great advice Pookeylou, I'm taking it too!! You guys have a great day!

 

[Ipanema]

Wow! Great advice, Pookeylou! I don't even have anything to add.

 

[DelightfulFlame]

First and foremost...I think you and your hair are gorgeous!

Now, this is how I look at it. It took me a lifetime to learn what to use with my perm...and truth be told I never did get it right. (I probably could now since I've been on hairboards, but I just don't care to.) So, I remind myself that it finding what works for my natural hair won't be an instant process either. It takes time to figure it out.

Plus, with the way your hair grows, you'll have so much hair in no time, that you won't even want to deal with it!

 

[Nay]

BBS, I agree with what everyone said. Girl, you gon' be alright!

It hasn't been that long. It's a trial and error process. Eventually you will really learn what your hair likes and needs and figure out how to do all kind of stuff with it.

When I first started trying different looks, I felt really self-conscious. Even when I thought my hair looked cute, it was weird being around other people who had never seen my hair this way or that way, 'cause you no folks gotta comment. But NOW I love and prefer my heat-less styles above all!!

Anyway, you'll see. Things WILL get better.

 

[Ayeshia]

I also agree with wahat everyone said. Its all TRIAL and ERROR the first few months of being natural. Like it took me almost three months just for me to figure out that combing my hair while wet will make me have less curl definiton and more frizz when it airdrys. It took me almost two months to realize that less is more when it comes to using products. Heck its month four after my big chop and Im still learning!!!

Be patient and you'll be a genious at caring for your own hair in no time.

 

[serena]

[ QUOTE ]
I think that I am going through that in-between stage,because my hair just won't do right.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think that's exactly the problem. Hang in there, this too will pass...

 

[ricochet]

I agree with everything the ladies have said...You WILL get through this 'rough patch'...Most of us went thru it in the beginning so don't think it is just you.

Experiment with different(I prefer cheap) products, remember to only comb while wet or damp, throw a pre-shampoo or hot oil treatment up in there somewhere, get you some scarves or headbands or both, and have fun with it! Before you know it, you will have this hair thing down to a science girlfriend! Hang in there.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

My goodness-you ladies are wonderful! At this very moment I am sitting at my computer with wet hair. I just washed it (suave conditioner wash) and I am experimenting with my tried and true rollerset. I applied this leave-in made by Elasta QP and some CD hair milk. So far,so good- this rollerset is easier that when I had a perm! Anyway, I will keep you ladies updated on how it turns out....