Why is my mental transition so difficult?

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

So I've been natural for a year now and while my hair is thriving my mind isn't exactly following suit. Let me explain.

There are a lot of times where I don't feel beautiful wth my natural hair. The first six months were the easiest, for the most part I felt my hair looked great, and I felt confident with it. However, as it grows out into the akward stage I've become very subconcious about my hair. Most styles I try look ridiculous and childish to me. There are some days where I feel so bad that I yearn to be relaxed again. In fact, I've actually made a few relaxer appointments. However, when I think logically I know I don't want relaxed hair. I just want to be at the point where I feel beautiful and confident as a natural. There are days I don't feel like going out b'c I don't like how my hair looks, and I'm often frustrated in the mornings b'c my hair takes awhile to look decent. My SO who adores natural hair is beginning to think that maybe I should relax or continue wearing weaves. he tells me he hates to see me unhappy with my hair. The sad thingI feel fine when I'm wearing weaves .

 

[TexturedTresses]

i think your hair is lovely and your very pretty as well. i think when people get to an awkward hair length it can be hard to find styles (relaxed or natural) and people get tempted to cut or another drastic change. i think when your hair gets past the awkward stage you'll fall back in love with it. why don't you wear it in a full weave for a little bit until it grows out or wear it pressed.

 

[tinkat]

Its understandable. It took me a little over a year to get comfortable with my hair. It was more because I did not want to mess up my natural hair but the funds were too low for me to maintain a weave. I found that the more I wore my hair out, the more I began to love it. I actually wished that I wore my hair out earlier than I did. One thing I learned about becoming natural is that you really have to want to do it and the physical transition is the easy part.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I think your probably felt more comfortable wearing your hair when it was shorter because a lot of people feel like a very short natural 'do is more acceptable and stylish. It seems like we either see very short naturals or naturals with super long hair.

I'm at that awkward length too and I'll think I've come a long way in my thinking, but then I think, why do I consider it awkward? Is it awkward because it's not the length I want yet? If it were relaxed would it still be awkward?

The way we feel about our hair can be deep seated and hard to change. You say you have been natural a year. A year compared to a lifetime worth of beliefs and ideals is a lot to overcome. I think you should give it time. I think you should stop feeling guilty.

You can't change the wya you feel, but I think time and maybe trying a few different styles might help. Maybe you could even weave it up until your hair grows more and you might feel a lot different.

You're not alone though, Ithink everyone has been there. I know I have and still go there occasionally

 

[hopeful]

I hated my natural hair at 11 months, so I twisted it up and wore a wig for awhile, when I hit around 14 months you couldn't tell me nothing lol. Your SO sounds sweet, I like that he wants you to be happy. Give it a little more time, lots of us have been in your shoes.

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

Thanks so much ladies, it's good to know I'm not alone.

I may weave again, but frankly I'm tired of weaves. At about 4 weeks i always miss my own hair and with all the $ I spend on then I never keep my weaves past a month,lol.

I truly want to learn my hair and wear it out more.