Where's the Transitioners Group........

[Ms_Twana]

Oh my goodness. Ladies, I am "Torn" like Letoya right about now. Okay, I decided to stretch my relaxer so that I could get a feel for what my natural hair might be like. I've had a relaxer since I was a kid, so relaxed hair is all that I know. Well, I absolutely love the 9 weeks of new growth that I have soo far. And I know that may not be what my actual hair is going to be like. However, I can't really get a feel for what that hair is like, because of all this relaxed hair on top of my natural hair. Part of me wants to BC so that I can begin to learn about my natural hair, but I don't REALLY want to start all over in length.

Then, my other dilema is that I get sooo jealous when I see beautiful heads of straight hair. I love wearing my hair down. And I'm doing the Hide Your Hair Challenge, so I'm jealous of everyone with their hair down right now anyway. So, would I be getting the best of both worlds by going natural??? Because I would be able to wear my hair in it's natural state, or straighten it if I want. I wouldn't be able to get both with a relaxer.

And I have read several posts that suggest keeping a relaxer if a person plans to wear their hair down often. But I have several friends that don't have a relaxer but they go to the salon to get their hair pressed every two weeks. And they have healthy heads of hair. Besides, since I've been doing this Challenge, I definitely won't need to wear my hair down everyday like I did before. I have learned several other alternatives.

So, what's a girl to do?!?! Any suggestions or tips would help, because right about now, I don't know WHAT to do.

 

[Proudpiscean]

I feel you Ms.Twana! I'm going through the exact same thing. I'm loving the texture of my NG as well and have been relaxing my hair, out of habit, for years now. I'm definitely ready for a change! I often wonder if I'll make it through a transition because I look through people's fotki with beautiful relaxed hair and I be like "I want my hair just like that! then I see someone with gorgeous natural hair with a similar texture as mine and I want that too . So I figure I will go ahead and transition and just straighten my hair from time to time if I want to wear a straight look. One thing is for sure thought- I won't BC, because I don't like short hair (on myself anyway). I have come to the conclusion that it is just hair and what's the worse that can happen. At least I will have gotten to know my 'real hair' and won't have to wonder what if anymore.

Besides if you don't like it you can always try texlaxing or go back to a relaxer in the future.

 

[MissFallon]

I'm in the same boat as you ladies. I am 5 months post and consider myself transitioning. I like straight styles but love curly styles and the natural texture of my hair. I have a lot of ng (about 6 inches or so) and I am ready to BC. I don't wear my hair down and basically wear protective styles everyday. I just need my natural hair to be able to fit into a pontail to get the phonypony on it. I didnt plan to BC until June 07 but I'm really wanting to do it sooner and sooner. When my hair gets long enough I will probably rollerset it every 3 or so weeks and wear it straight so the part about missing the relaxer doesn't worry me.

 

[Proudpiscean]

I don't think I'll really miss wearing straight styles that much. My biggest issue will be PATIENCE. Since I won't be doing a BC it will take me longer to get to a fully natural head of hair. I just don't want to get discouraged while dealing with the two different textures. But once I do finally get all the relaxed ends cut off I plan to do the curly girl method (like SO1913) Her hair is gorgeous!

 

[Ms_Twana]

I don't think I'll really miss wearing straight styles that much. My biggest issue will be PATIENCE. Since I won't be doing a BC it will take me longer to get to a fully natural head of hair. I just don't want to get discouraged while dealing with the two different textures. But once I do finally get all the relaxed ends cut off I plan to do the curly girl method (like SO1913) Her hair is gorgeous!

ITA. I am woman enough to admit when I have a problem, and PATIENCE is definitely one of them. See, I'm thinking that it will probably take me a year to grow my natural hair to the length where I want to wear it. But, I KNOW that I will not want to wait that long. Humm, decisions..decisions!!!

And SO1913's hair is gorgeous!!!

 

[Proudpiscean]

ITA. I am woman enough to admit when I have a problem, and PATIENCE is definitely one of them. See, I'm thinking that it will probably take me a year to grow my natural hair to the length where I want to wear it. But, I KNOW that I will not want to wait that long. Humm, decisions..decisions!!!

And SO1913's hair is gorgeous!!!

Same here! But a year is a year and I figure I can spend it transitioning & trying out different styles. For me it beats doing a BC or relaxing. I think I would be MORE impatient doing the BC, because it's too limiting to me, and I would be bored with it ( I'd be looking in the mirror thinking GROW TWA GROW! ). At least if i keep the length I can do braidouts, bantu knots, buns, etc......

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

Honestly I think you should stretch a little more to see if that is what you really want.

What is the longest time that you have stretched? How were you handling your new growth? I ask this because transitioning without the BC can be/is really difficult. If you become fed up with your hair to the point that you run to relax it when you are stretching 2-3 months. Trust me you will have to deal with alot more issues if you transition for a year.

Just my 2 cents. Just make the right decision for you.

 

[Proudpiscean]

Honestly I think you should stretch a little more to see if that is what you really want.

What is the longest time that you have stretched? How were you handling your new growth? I ask this because transitioning without the BC can be/is really difficult. If you become fed up with your hair to the point that you run to relax it when you are stretching 2-3 months. Trust me you will have to deal with alot more issues if you transition for a year.

Just my 2 cents. Just make the right decision for you.

Good points you bring up NYG . Personally, I don't relax that often anyway- I only get a relaxer every 4 months ( 3 times a year) because I think the relaxer is too damaging to my hair (split ends, thinning). I have noticed that my hair has thickened up and is thriving since I started stretching like this, so it makes me wonder about how healthy my hair can be if I just stopped altogether. The longest I have stretched is 6 months (unintentionally). I believe I can do it as long as my expectations are realistic.

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

Well in that case.............come on and join us transitioners!!!!!!!!!!

I thought that the longest stretch you did was 9 weeks that's why I wrote about stretching longer in the previous post. If you have done six months than you have a better idea of what you will be up against (except for me I had MAJOR tangling issues in months 7 and 8).

My hair has thickened up already. Even when i feel as though every week I wash my hair LOTS of hair is coming out. I still manage to have alot of hair left on my head. I can't wait to be all natural. But the choice is up to you. Just know that there are a lot of supportive people on the boards.


ETA: I guess my first post was directed towards the OP......what is the longest that you have stretched Ms_Twana???

 

[Ms_Twana]

Same here! But a year is a year and I figure I can spend it transitioning & trying out different styles. For me it beats doing a BC or relaxing. I think I would be MORE impatient doing the BC, because it's too limiting to me, and I would be bored with it ( I'd be looking in the mirror thinking GROW TWA GROW! ). At least if i keep the length I can do braidouts, bantu knots, buns, etc......

Yeah, that's true. I didn't think of it that way. I could definitely see myself in the mirror as well. Thanks for that!!!

 

[Ms_Twana]

What is the longest time that you have stretched?

This is the longest, 9 weeks.

How were you handling your new growth? I ask this because transitioning without the BC can be/is really difficult. If you become fed up with your hair to the point that you run to relax it when you are stretching 2-3 months. Trust me you will have to deal with alot more issues if you transition for a year.

So far my new growth is great. I love the hair that's growing in. I haven't had any problems with it. But, like I said before, I know that there is a possibility that this may not be what my actual natural hair is like.

Just my 2 cents. Just make the right decision for you.[/quote]

I appreciate your 2 cents. That's why I'm trying to feedback for others so that I CAN make the right decision for me. I would much rather make an informed decision than any thing else. Thanks for your input!!!

 

[glamazon386]

I'm in this boat too. I stretched for 6 months from Nov to April and then relaxed. I started over and now I'm about 4.5 months post and my texture looks different now than the first time. I love it! And now I'm seriously considering transitioning. I have been thinking about it since I was a freshman in college (I just graduated in May). Some days I sit on the fence though. But I know I can't bc until it's long enough to put the phony pony on like Miss Fallon said. I gotta have some way to cover it up on a bad hair day.

 

[Ms_Twana]

Bmoreflyygirl, your hair looks good in your post. Is that a sew-in??

 

[glamazon386]

Bmoreflyygirl, your hair looks good in your post. Is that a sew-in??

Thanks. Yes it was. I took it out this past friday though.

 

[Ms_Twana]

I love it!!!

 

[Proudpiscean]

Bumping thread for more responses

 

[fallback]

I'm in the same boat as you ladies. I haven't had a relaxer in since April 2006. I decided to go natural so I have two textures of hair and it is a challenge. I'm also in the Hide your hair till XMAS challenge and just had a frightening ordeal with my hair. (read the Matted Hair thread I just started).

 

[zora]

I'm with ya, but I've been natural before and so now I can't still a head of flat, straight hair. It just doesn't feel 'natural'. I'd said I have a good 2 inch of natural/texturizy hair.

My dilemna is do I go full blown natural or continue to unsuccessfuly texturize my hair. I say that because NO ONE has been able to figure out my hair type and they always overprocess it and right now I can't tell what's natural and what's texturized.

Anyway, I would just advise to get braids or a weave and forget your hair for two months and then take it out to see what you're working with. It can be a difficult but great journey to see your natural hair.

 

[Ms_Twana]

Bumping. Any Natural ladies have any advice???

 

[FlyRob]

My hair is armpit length, and I have been transitioning for 7 months by wearing my hair in double twists. I plan to do this until my natural hair reaches shoulder length. I understand what you're going through. Last week I was thisclose to getting my hair relaxed. Thanks to my husband, and natural hair sites I came to my senses. Keep the faith.

 

[lovelymissyoli]

Oh my goodness. Ladies, I am "Torn" like Letoya right about now. Okay, I decided to stretch my relaxer so that I could get a feel for what my natural hair might be like. I've had a relaxer since I was a kid, so relaxed hair is all that I know. Well, I absolutely love the 9 weeks of new growth that I have soo far. And I know that may not be what my actual hair is going to be like. However, I can't really get a feel for what that hair is like, because of all this relaxed hair on top of my natural hair. Part of me wants to BC so that I can begin to learn about my natural hair, but I don't REALLY want to start all over in length.

Then, my other dilema is that I get sooo jealous when I see beautiful heads of straight hair. I love wearing my hair down. And I'm doing the Hide Your Hair Challenge, so I'm jealous of everyone with their hair down right now anyway. So, would I be getting the best of both worlds by going natural??? Because I would be able to wear my hair in it's natural state, or straighten it if I want. I wouldn't be able to get both with a relaxer.

And I have read several posts that suggest keeping a relaxer if a person plans to wear their hair down often. But I have several friends that don't have a relaxer but they go to the salon to get their hair pressed every two weeks. And they have healthy heads of hair. Besides, since I've been doing this Challenge, I definitely won't need to wear my hair down everyday like I did before. I have learned several other alternatives.

So, what's a girl to do?!?! Any suggestions or tips would help, because right about now, I don't know WHAT to do.

IMO, if you want to go natural and keep your texture, then pressing every couple of weeks totally defeats that purpose. The heat damage alone will loosen/straigten/ruin your natural texture. So, although I don't advocate relaxers, maybe you should continue to relax your hair if you enjoy the straight look.

As for the length issues --- I felt the same way when I was transitioning. I told myself that I wasn't going to chop for another year after already being one year relaxer free so that I would have enough hair to pull back into a low puff. Let's just say things didn't work out that way ! I wound up chopping down to about 3 inches of nappy hair on January 3.

I guess I said that to say not to get too caught up in length. I too never had short hair before, but it was welcomed change.

Good luck on your decision.

 

[DelightfulFlame]

Just wanted to post that I did the big chop and wore my hair short for 2 years. There were lots of styles to wear it in other than just looking in the mirror waiting for it to grow. Check my album...anyone that decides to chop. I'm natural no more now b/c I don't have time to deal with my hair the way that I need to. However, I will do locs the next go round. Heck, my hair is still so nappy with this texturizer in it that I could probably loc it now.

 

[Ms_Twana]

IMO, if you want to go natural and keep your texture, then pressing every couple of weeks totally defeats that purpose. The heat damage alone will loosen/straighten/ruin your natural texture

Thanks!! I didn't think about that. I do remember some ladies saying they lost their curl pattern from using heat. Ah, man. Why can't there just be a happy medium?? Why does it have to be either straight or curly???

Is that you in your post?? I love your hair. I stalked your album when I saw that picture. My new growth looks very similar to yours when you were transitioning. If my hair looks half as good as your natural, I'm all for it!!!!!

 

[lovelymissyoli]

Thanks!! I didn't think about that. I do remember some ladies saying they lost their curl pattern from using heat. Ah, man. Why can't there just be a happy medium?? Why does it have to be either straight or curly???

Is that you in your post?? I love your hair. I stalked your album when I saw that picture. My new growth looks very similar to yours when you were transitioning. If my hair looks half as good as your natural, I'm all for it!!!!!

Thanks for your compliment! Yeah, that's my hair in my siggy and avatar. I tried to view your album but it's locked.

Good luck on whatever you decide to do!

 

[beyondcute]

Honestly I think it all depends on your hair. I know my hair can handle heat. Even still I only use heat maybe every 2 or 3 months. If you plan on doing straight styles then and arent worried abotu keeping your texture then I say go for the straightening. I actually think its better than a relaxer.

 

[Ms_Twana]

Lovely, the password is softhair. It only has pictures of my twistout though. I can't seem to get good texture shots. They always out of focus for some reason. Maybe it's the operator!!

Beyondcute, see that's the thing. I am LOVING my texture, so I don't want to comprimise it. And I think my relaxer hair was pretty resistant to heat. I use to use it once a week, and my hair did fine. I'm just not sure how it will work on my natural hair.

 

[kitchen_tician]

I agree with many others regarding waiting a little longer to see your texture. My determining factor was 6 months and then I knew there was no turning back. I used heat every 2 weeks or so for the first few months, with no problems, now I mainly wear my hair in braid outs, phony ponys, and wigs.

I've always liked silky hair so that's what kept me relaxing, but now my preferences have expanded to various styles. I still miss my silky hair, so I just wear a wig when I'm feeling this way or I'll straighten it once a month or every other month. I've always been a heat lover, but I'm very careful with heat because I don't want to damage my natural texture, at least until I decide what I want to do with it. I'm 15 months post, but still unsure of my ultimate decision.

There are many options once I finish my transition. I can use heat every 2 weeks, wear heat free styles only, or just relax 2x a year. I just don't know which one I'm going to do until I'm completely relaxer free. I definitely understand your situation.

 

[Ms_Twana]

Okay ladies. For some reason tonight my hair was A LOT thicker than it has been. I put my fingers in my hair and thought, "Oh my goodness." I found myself not being able to get my fingers through some parts of my roots. I can't help but wonder how I can manage an ENTIRE head of hair like this. HEEELLLPPP!!! I am about 12 hours away from calling my stylist and making an appointment for a touch-up!!!!

 

[Robin41]

Okay ladies. For some reason tonight my hair was A LOT thicker than it has been. I put my fingers in my hair and thought, "Oh my goodness." I found myself not being able to get my fingers through some parts of my roots. I can't help but wonder how I can manage an ENTIRE head of hair like this. HEEELLLPPP!!! I am about 12 hours away from calling my stylist and making an appointment for a touch-up!!!!

Hang in there, girl! I've been transitioning for about six months now and I'm doing the crown & glory method so my new growth isn't really much of an issue while it's in braids. When I take the braids out, I usually do a braid-out, phony-pony, wash-n-go or bun. I'm having a ball experimenting and getting used to my new hair but I have to admit these stringy ends are driving me crazy. Not crazy enough to BC but sooner or later something's gotta give!

A couple of months into my transition, I did texturize to help me control the new growth, but now I'm not even tempted to put any chemicals in my hair.

Good luck with your transition!

 

[zora]

Okay ladies. For some reason tonight my hair was A LOT thicker than it has been. I put my fingers in my hair and thought, "Oh my goodness." I found myself not being able to get my fingers through some parts of my roots. I can't help but wonder how I can manage an ENTIRE head of hair like this. HEEELLLPPP!!! I am about 12 hours away from calling my stylist and making an appointment for a touch-up!!!!

Do you have access to a Dominican salon? If so let them straighten your hair with a set and blowdryer. It will come out looking like you had a relaxer and their type of heat doesn't compromise your natural texture.