What to do now?? Me vs. transitioning (long!!)

[Razz2525]

I had been transitioning to natural hair for about 7 months (I have very thick hair, 4b most likely) when I just couldn't take it anymore. I had been going to Curve Salon and of course my hair looked great, curly OR straight, whenever I left, but maintenance on my own? Using far more heat than I ever did on my relaxed hair (which was LOOOONG -hitting bra strap - why did I decide to cut it and transition? I miss it now

). Anyway, after coming back from a vacation in Florida where everyday my hair was a disaster (curly - it only looked great one day and then a day after, it was dry as straw and uneven looking - some parts frizzy and other parts ringlet-like or when I wore it straight, some parts would revert into a frizz while the other parts would be okay). I came back home and kept trying but on a day when I went for a job interview on a windy, rainy day, my hairstyle completely disappeared. I was horrified despite my best efforts to cover with a scarf, hood, etc. I immediately went out and got a texturizer and did it at home. I didn't want it bone straight, I just wanted a looser curl pattern and the root to lay flatter so I could maintain a style more easily without the wind hitting it and sticking up like a clown!

So I went back to Curve today and they were kinda sorry I texturized it because they loved my natural texture but they were well-acquainted with my struggle, especially since I didn't do the big chop and had to fight with different textures. In hindsight, I probably should've done the big chop, but I just couldn't part with the length all at once like that. They knew all about how I was hitting my hair with heat about 75% more than when I had relaxed hair. They don't want me to go back to relaxing (but they'll respect whatever decision I make) and suggested that I give my hair a break by getting box braids (they showed me a picture of Eve on the cover of Honey magazine) and said that I could still wash my hair with these braids, have the roots lay flat, and give the hair a chance to get some length. They said I'd feel better once I got some length back and then after I take the braids out, I can decide to stay natural or go with a silkener.

They know it's my decision but I'm tempted to go back to relaxing regularly and just try to keep it as healthy as I can. However, I DO like the versatility of curly & straight styles that I can get now (I could not get nice curls & waves with relaxed hair even if I air dried -- it was just limp -- I would have to braid it overnight to get nice loose curls) with this texturized head of mine (it's not completely natural anymore). I just don't know about braids. I've always shied away from them. I also am interviewing for jobs in corporate settings. I have such thick hair I can imagine these braids taking hours and hours to do. Should I go back to relaxing/texturizing, perhaps every few months so not to make it bone straight, and concentrate on making it healthy relaxed hair, or continue with the natural route and try braids??? Sorry so long. I'm a new member and love this board, but I've never thought about my hair on a daily basis like this in my life. Thanks all!

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

I know your struggle, Razz. I'm considering transitioning also and every day I go back and forth on whether I want to relax or go natural. What am I saying - this is like an hour to hour seesaw. I guess what I'm trying to say is to do what you feel and maybe see about transitioning out of the texturizer. At least the new growth won't be so different from the texturizer and you can manipulate the two textures fairly similarly. With all the helpful hints on this board, you may find that your transition this time will go more to your liking. And, hey,

welcome to the board.

 

[jainygirl]

i'm in the same boat...but, that is why there is a thing called transition so we can change our minds. i hate this feeling too, every day it's something different that makes me lean towards transition or continuing to relax...right now i'm 10.5 weeks post toucup and i think about it everyday. i originally started the challenge to stretch out my relaxer to 12 weeks, then i decided to transition...now i'm in limbo--so i'm gonna extend my challenge to 14 weeks and see how i'm thinking at that time....who knows right now what i think

----jainygirl

 

[DragonPearl]

Poor baby, you sound like a mess. Transitioning is never easy, but if you do it successfully, you will discover that your natural hair was worth it. You can do it!

If your hair is really short and you want to transition into natural hair without wearing braids, I'd suggest you check Delightfulflame's album. She had quite a few pretty hairstyles for short hair, and she can tell you what products she is using or refer you to other transitioners. Other short-haired naturals are Pookeylou, Shanna, etc.

By the way, you CAN go on a job interview with short hair, so don't stress it. There is another hair site that has a special transitioner's section. I can't post the link, but it's called Nappturality. Just do a search on google, and you'll get it. Good luck!

 

[aqualung]

Huh? Let me get this straight:
0. You used to fully relax your hair when it was bra strap length, but it didn't hold a curl.
1. You had silkened hair that was high maintenance.
2. You transitioned for 7 months and cut some.
3. Your natural 4b hair was unruly so you texturized it. (How short is it now? Are you STILL using lots of heat to style despite the texturizer?)
4. You're consulting with people and considering your options.

What career look do you prefer? When you think forward to that corporate position that you're interviewing for, what's your corporate hair style? A relaxed updo? An afro puff with cornrows? Texturized curls and ringlets? Box braids? Relaxed bone straight and long?

During your interviews, you'll dress for the job that you want. Braids look more ethnic than corporate to a lot of people, so that wouldn't be the first option I'd consider unless the job was very entry level.

Judging from the amount of heat you admit to using, I'm guessing you prefer straight, controlled looks. Judging from your nostalgia and refusal to big chop, I'm guessing you like long hair more than short hair. IF IF IF getting that straight look with a silkener (Curve is expensive!

) or texturizer (cheap and do it yourself!

) requires massive amounts of baking, parching heat when you style daily, ditch them both and go back to fully relaxed and bra strap length. Fully relaxed and bra strap length will suite the corporate career fine.

Go back to what worked for you before.

 

[NGC]

Hey Razz,

I totally empathize. I am napptural and I transitioned for 1.5 years in extension braids. It was expensive (but I have to say that was my fault because I chose to go to an expensive stylist instead of finding someone "around the corner".)

I have a very successful corporate career and I moved up the corporate ladder while I was in my braid extension phase ( I have worked for Fortune 500 companies for most of my career).

Oh , and I had a VERY similar experience with my hair while I was on vacation down in Florida. Don't let that particular situation discourgae you. If you were staying in a hotel and you washed your hair while you were down there, it was more than likely the water that did it because I think that unfiltered Flordia water has a lot of mineral deposits in it (just a theory on my part).

Anywho -good luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

OK, I'm going to hijack this thread. What is a silkener? I've never heard of that.

 

[NGC]

A silkener is just another name for a texturizer.

 

[Mamacita]

I agree with Megonw....it depends on what kind of look you're going for. If you want straight hair, I say perm it. It's just as damaging applying tons of heat to get your natural hair straight which can also entail heat damaged ends which you would have to cut off anyway in order to wear a textured look. Now if it's a textured look you're going for then by all means transition, go natural, and stay natural. But this is a decision that you will have to make for yourself and by yourself because you are the one that has to live with and maintain YOUR hair. You know what's best for you, it just kinda feels better if soemone tells you what you want to hear, but do what you feel is best. Believe me, I am not talking from the side....I am currently natural with hair b/w my shoulder blades however it is layered b/c it's the same lenght throughut my hair, if that makes anysense

Anyway, I went through what you're going through now, I really missed my straight hair, and the styles that I wore, I could achieve by myself with minimal time and it still looked good (I could turn a few heads

) When I went natural it was a different story, my hair is soooooo time consuming that I wear it in a curly puffy on a daily basis

I really wanted to do twist and other things which I did myself (if I had a scanner I would post pics although I did get a digital camera for Christmas yaaay) but there was no way I was going to spend all that time in my hair. So I really went back anf forth b/c everybody kept telling me oh your hair is sooo pretty leave it, or I wish I had your hair, you have "good" hair. But the truth of the matter is that nobody has to deal with my hair but me. So in short (not really

) I'm going to wear my hair in braids until May and then relax, I came to that decision on my own and I'm comfortable with it. Once you get to that place whatever you decide you won't regret your decision. So basically come to terms with what you REALLY want and like for yourself and you'll make the right decision. HTH

 

[Chimma]

I would say - it depends on what you are looking for. Both natural and relaxed have advantages and disadvantages.

Short summary:
Natural - versatility and stronger hair at the cost of time. Relaxed - less time spent, easy professional look.

If you love versatility and are willing to spend extra time, even if you like straight hair more, I would say keep on transitioning. I know a girl who has gorgeous, full, extremely thick, long straight hair. She is a natural who presses once a week, and I actually never knew she was natural until a friend told me and I have yet to see her hair unstraightened. The majority of people will not lose their hair texture with a press, and obviously you won't since you have been pressing all this time. And many people find that natural hair can withstand significantly more manipulation, although of course heat is never great - although 75% more... that seems really high. I have found that I can manipulate more with less breakage with my own hair which is not that long: my relaxed hair has usually been a few inches below shoulder length, at its longest an inch from bra strap, and I have about 6 inches of natural hair now and I can tell a strength difference.


If you generally favor straight hair and you rarely desire nonstraight styles, I would say relax. While I was relaxed, I found the hair care process un time-consuming, and it was very easy for me to get straight styles, of course.

As for braids, I would go for them if you want natural hair and don't have time to deal with the hair and you only want to wear your hair out for special occassions. I have started using them to transition, and personally, I love them. They flatter my face, look more professional to me than my former styles, and the 0 minutes that I usually spend on my hair every morning is absolutely beautiful. Of course, I spend 5 minutes every few days, greasing.


I know many women at Ivy League colleges and business schools sporting natural styles, and I myself attend a school ranked top 5 in the nation. I would say it is much more common for women at these places to have natural hair than in the real world and the hair styles choices at my college are really quite diverse. In my dorm, of 5 black girls: 2 are natural, two in braids, one relaxed. As a whole I think the majority of black women are relaxed (many people who are always in braids are relaxed haired people), but there are many nonrelaxed in every dorm. It is an ethnic style, but non black people view blacks as ethnic anyways so they look at our hair styles differently. While a big afro does not professional at all to me, I believe that in corporate america any style that is very very neat: straight relaxed hair, twa, neat cornrows, neat locs, neat gelled down bun, etc. other controlled styles will work. Yale has already done studies showing that women with short hair are seen as having more confidence and being more outgoing, and I believe that I am finding that some natural styles give people the perception that you have more confidence - which can be a good thing or bad thing.

While I am not in the corporate world and will not be for a few years, I know people who have attended the number 1 ranked business school who commonly wear long, thick, locs. And even as a person going natural, that seems daring to me. I would ask natural people who are very satisfied with their hair what its benefits and advantages are and relaxed people who are very satisfied with their hair what its benefits and advantages are and compare.

[ QUOTE ]

So basically come to terms with what you REALLY want and like for yourself and you'll make the right decision. HTH


[/ QUOTE ] I agree completely! Don't let anyone pressure you or guilt you into any style - natural or relaxed.

 

[shinyblackhair]

I agree with Megon.

Also, if you are heat styling more often than with relaxed hair then to me, that says it all. I say get a light relaxer. That way you can air dry and then flat iron when you want it straight. You can do a simple braid out when you want a textured look. It's sound simple enough, but I know it's alway that simple when it's your OWN hair.