What if it's just not going to grow...

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

What if I just won't get long hair? I used to as a child. But I don't know what's going on now. I'm so frustrated. I tried to put my hair in a bun today and it just wasn't working. I actually broke down in tears, I was so upset. All of my hair just keeps popping out the bun. I tried that Fantasia gel- it didn't work. Ok, how long is it supposed to take before I see results? I'm afraid to even touch my hair. Right now I HATE my hair! Really I do. I don't know how to braid or conrow and I can't do ponytails. My new growth is too poofy to do rollersets.... then I have to say that my hair actually IS growing so it must be the breakage that's the issue. AAAAAAAARRRGGGHH! So what do I need to do to counter this? Co wash daily? DC more than 2x a week? Wrong products? I hardly even use a comb, I mostly wear wigs and sleep with a silk/satin scarf or bonnet. How can I retain length??? I was so frustrated I was actually super seriously considering relaxing... but I know I would regret it... I see my curls and I've always wanted curly hair... But right now I just don't know... I think I may have to ride out the transition in braids.

 

[locabouthair]

whats your regimen now?

 

[Newtogrow]

Sorry for your frustration. If your hair is popping off, perhaps you need a protein treatment.

Hang in there, we all get frustrated at times.

 

[Kirei]

Maybe you need to just step away from it and let it do it's thing. All the frustration and such is not going to benefit you or your hair.


A lot of the times it is our impatience and stressignt hat causing so many ill results. We can also convince ourselves things are wrong when they are just fine.


Don't worry about it! Relax! Lastly Breath!

 

[Ms.Nigeria]

braid it or track it up and let it rest for a while.

 

[Starr1]

Okay, it sounds like you have two things going on here (a) possible breakage and (b) managing new growth.

First things first, you have to keep in mind that your new growth will not show length like relaxed hair- it will curl up, kink up, poof up and shrink up far before it ever lays down and cooperates. It's normal, even if it is frustrating.

Second, if you are experiencing breakage you might need to address your protein to moisture balance, the products your using, and the tools you are using. Take a step back to assess exactly what you're putting on your hair and how much.

If you post your regimen we could help you out a lot more.

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

whats your regimen now?

Well I don't even know if I have a real solid reggie. I wash and DC- with ORS mayo twice a week now. I use the entire OCT system, only on wash days. I cowash 2-3 times a week with either Aussie Moist or V05 moisture milks strawberries and cream; depends cause I work out 5x/wk. I use HE LTR to moisturize or Elasta QP mango butter and I seal with castor oil. I don't do much for styles; I usually put in in the pitiful ponytail/bun and put a silk wrap over it and throw on a wig the days I go to work. Otherwise I don't do anything to my hair.

 

[PuffyBrown]

Self defeat>it sounds like to me.
Don't beat yourself up about it. Just use a basic regime that works for you and allow your hair to grow. Try using 2 or 3 brands of any product for awhile, then if you try something else and have an adverse effect, than you will know what the culprit is.
Fussing with hair too much can make it fragile. Just keep it clean, moist and leave it alone. Someone gave me that advise last year on this forum and it was the best advise that I have received.

 

[glam-]

I agree that there might be a protein issue if you're seeing broken pieces- so try a protein treatment..
And consider weaving or braiding it up for a while so that you don't have to obsess over what iyour hair is or is not going to do. It will grow- just give it time.

Looks like you've only been a member since March. I know it's especially frustrating in the first few months-- you visit the forum and see all these long haired beauties and then look desperately for any sign of growth on your own head. I did it too, I think we all do. I ended up using braids and weaves probably off and on for the first six months of my journey and helped me to not study my hair all of the time looking for growth.

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

StellaB and glam- I think you are both right. I am obsessing... really too much. I can't get both encouraged and discouraged seeing the other ladies on this board with beautiful heads full of hair. I am getting it braided this weekend. I will do a protein treatment before.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Maybe you need to just step away from it and let it do it's thing. All the frustration and such is not going to benefit you or your hair.


A lot of the times it is our impatience and stressignt hat causing so many ill results. We can also convince ourselves things are wrong when they are just fine.


Don't worry about it! Relax! Lastly Breath!

I was going to suggest this as well.