Viewing hair length: This board vs. "out there"...in the real world

[esoterica]

Blacks are held to a much lower standard (by the public) when it comes to classifying long hair. Being on this board has made us all realise that we can have long hair comparable to that of the average euro/asian woman. Therefore, we are judging ourselves by the mainstream standard, not by the "most black people can't grow hair anyway, so i'm doing well" standard. To me, BSL and below is long.

 

[sowhut]

If you are shoulder length or beyond, you have long hair out there.

Yeah, I just figured that one out because my hair is a little past my shoulders and people tell me that its long.erplexed

 

[Hair Iam]

Your hair is long & lovely ,
anything APL and longer "I consider long hair" on the board or out in the real world.

 

[chayil0427]

If you are shoulder length or beyond, you have long hair out there.

Yep...before I found the board I thought shoulder length was long hair "for a black girl" ... now I think midback and waist length are long.

And I too sometimes feel practically bald when people in the shop are catching flies staring at what I consider to be my short hair.

Chayil

 

[locfreeme]

Past shoulder is long to me here or "out there." I see BSL and below as very long. I don't understand the logic behind calling APL and BSL hair "not long." If shoulder or APL hair is short, then what is chin length, ear length, or buzz cut hair?

Not trying to be confrontational; I'm just truly confused by the logic here.

 

[deltagyrl]

LOL Mona....that is hilarious. I don't have a story but I feel you....I still feel "less than" at times, and I think my photos are deceiving...b/c it seems shorter IRL to me.

Get outta my head!!!!!! I don't think my hair is long at ALL. Will it ever end?

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Past shoulder is long to me here or "out there." I see BSL and below as very long. I don't understand the logic behind calling APL and BSL hair "not long." If shoulder or APL hair is short, then what is chin length, ear length, or buzz cut hair?

Not trying to be confrontational; I'm just truly confused by the logic here.

I'm totally with you. Even 'mainstream' considers APL to be long hair. I've definately heard white women refer to their APL length as, "I need a cut, it's getting too long" I think perceptions are misconstrued all around.

But I think there is a more broad explanation, I think for us women that have long hair GOALS black or otherwise, anything shorter than our goals is probably short to us simply because we have a goal. Alot of the outer world either are convinced their hair won't grow past their shoulder, think wigging or weaving will be they'll acheive it, or just don't put as much thought into it as us hair board ladies so seeing some health & any length longer than they've ever seen their own is something they will to marvel at. I'm trying to keep the 2 perspectives separate yet equal because I think there is a reality in them both.

 

[Ms Red]

Believe it or not, another black girl at my job went on and on about how we cannot grow long hair. I made her come to my office while I brought up some LHCF photos.

ETA: I believe I had her look at macherie_amour and kinikakes pics for proof

 

[locabouthair]

Wow ladies, thanks

But on the real, I am thankful for the present state of my hair. I think about how it was a few years ago and I feel like I've come a long way -
and like Seni said...there should be the feeling of being grateful and I am.

I don't know why that lil commentary in the salon threw me off...I guess because I had already been feeling some kind of way...down in the dark, deep hair recesses of my mind...

One is on this board all the time...and I see heads like my goddess Mochamadness, my girls Sylver and Babygurl, KiniKakes, the fine-haired idol, I'm checking Letitia, another goddess, TSmith pulling up behind, Navs, GlamourGirl...mad others...including SENI...one's head could spin at all the long haired ladies on this board.

and hells yeah...I beez (yes, beez) feelin mad bald headed.

I know it is silly, trivial and there are far more pressing things to be thinking about....

*ashamed*

I just don't feel I'm there yet length wise for folks to be clocking and commenting in the Dominican salon.

But, I will remember in the future, should a similar scenario ever occur again - I will remember Seni's words, and politely say "Thank you" and shut my dayum mouth. Also remembering to be appreciative of where my hair is now because it wasn't always this way.

Thanks again my hair sisters.

*hair hugs all around*

y not? if I saw you hair I would have thought the same thign the lady did.APL is my long term goal. I would love to have hair your length.

 

[Country gal]

When I straighten my hair this Christmas, everyone was saying my hair was so long. I felt like it aight since it was not bra strap lenth.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Get outta my head!!!!!! I don't think my hair is long at ALL. Will it ever end?

Nope!


Wait until you reach BSL. It gets worse.

 

[locabouthair]

Believe it or not, another black girl at my job went on and on about how we cannot grow long hair. I made her come to my office while I brought up some LHCF photos.

oooh what did she say when she saw the pics?

 

[Barbara]

Believe it or not, another black girl at my job went on and on about how we cannot grow long hair. I made her come to my office while I brought up some LHCF photos.

I'm curious about what she said after you showed her the pictures.

 

[deltagyrl]

Nope!


Wait until you reach BSL. It gets worse.

Don't say that....

I noticed that some of my white co-workers view hair that's apl as long. My director's hair is apl and she slings it around like it's mbl. I just chuckle 'cause my hair is longer than hers.

 

[senimoni]

I'm totally with you. Even 'mainstream' considers APL to be long hair. I've definately heard white women refer to their APL length as, "I need a cut, it's getting too long" I think perceptions are misconstrued all around.

But I think there is a more broad explanation, I think for us women that have long hair GOALS black or otherwise, anything shorter than our goals is probably short to us simply because we have a goal. Alot of the outer world either are convinced their hair won't grow past their shoulder, think wigging or weaving will be they'll acheive it, or just don't put as much thought into it as us hair board ladies so seeing some health & any length longer than they've ever seen their own is something they will to marvel at. I'm trying to keep the 2 perspectives separate yet equal because I think there is a reality in them both.

I think you pretty much summed it up. For me APL is medium length, anything above is short, BSL and longer is long, MBL+ is really long.

LOL Deltagyrl - Do you hide your hair?? Or has she seen it.

 

[lsubabiedee]

hmm...well, i've always thought bsl and longer was long hair.

 

[Hidden_Angel]

hmm...well, i've always thought bsl and longer was long hair.

same here...

I first thought APL was long then i went to college and see alot of girls and iknow its BSL and longer

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I've never though my hair was long even when I was little and had longer than bsl length. I just always thought like waist length, butt length was long. Now that I'm natural that has changed alot, like when I see a woman with a fro that shoulder length, I'm like amazed like I cannot even imagine what her hair is like when it's straight, wow! But I think healthy beautiful hair wins over length everytime, so I think your compliment was completely warranted,and deserved your hair looks great!

 

[MzOptimistic]

Okay...

I did a late run to the Dominican Salon....so I wound up being the last one there...cool.

This woman, comes to the door...I guess she was hoping she could sneak in getting something done to her hair...but it was like 8:45 pm already.

She knows the stylists and starts chatting with them. I'm getting my hair wrapped, the stylist is doing the whole circling thing with my brush....

the woman is clocking me and comes out and says..."I'll be glad when my hair gets long like that..."

So I ask my stylist who is she talking about, I'm like she can't mean me because my hair is far from it...

For some reason, maybe because I was hungry...and she still was looking at me in the mirror....I verbalized it...I'm like "My hair isn't long." Now the stylists and helpers in the shop are looking. I can't seem to stop my mouth.

"I know a bunch of people who's hair is waaaaaaay longer than mine - I have a long way to go. No, my hair is not long, I feel bald headed most of the time. But thank you for thinking so though."

They are looking at me like I had just finished cussin. My brain tells me to shut up. I think I must've said that ish real funky.

It's still quiet for a bit. I continue to hand my bobby pins to my stylist.

Everybody starts to talk again.

Mo's back to being halfway relaxed.

*sigh*

The standard of this board makes me forget how some people actually see hair "out there" in the real world.

That was my mini-hair moment...needed to share.

Please feel free to share your This board vs. "out there" in the real world hair moment.

*puts some wine and plastic cups on the table cause I obviously need to chill the heyall out...*

I can relate...I wore my hair out last Thursday for an interview and my daughter, her friends, the babysitter etc...was saying that my hair was long...I went to pick my daughter and her friends up from a friend's house and one of my daughter's friends was like Ms. Smith your hair is long...and I was like...girl, this aint nothing compared to hair I've seen, and they was like Ma, your hair is long....but us LHCF know what LONG is so if the outsiders want to think our hair is long...let's not spoil it for them but we really know what's up

 

[Junonia]

When someone outside of LHCF tells me my hair is long , I automatically think of Lauren450, CandyC, MsKibibi and Sylver2 and say to myself no it's not. When I recieve the same compliment from a LHCF member, I appreciate the compliment because I know I am making progress. I know most women on the board are striving for healthier, longer hair

 

[MzOptimistic]

Wow ladies, thanks

But on the real, I am thankful for the present state of my hair. I think about how it was a few years ago and I feel like I've come a long way -
and like Seni said...there should be the feeling of being grateful and I am.

I don't know why that lil commentary in the salon threw me off...I guess because I had already been feeling some kind of way...down in the dark, deep hair recesses of my mind...

One is on this board all the time...and I see heads like my goddess Mochamadness, my girls Sylver and Babygurl, KiniKakes, the fine-haired idol, I'm checking Letitia, another goddess, TSmith pulling up behind, Navs, GlamourGirl...mad others...including SENI...one's head could spin at all the long haired ladies on this board.

and hells yeah...I beez (yes, beez) feelin mad bald headed.

I know it is silly, trivial and there are far more pressing things to be thinking about....

*ashamed*

I just don't feel I'm there yet length wise for folks to be clocking and commenting in the Dominican salon.

But, I will remember in the future, should a similar scenario ever occur again - I will remember Seni's words, and politely say "Thank you" and shut my dayum mouth. Also remembering to be appreciative of where my hair is now because it wasn't always this way.

Thanks again my hair sisters.

*hair hugs all around*

That's sum good advice and use it. Your hair is beautiful girl... GOTTA KNOW DAT

 

[dlewis]

I think most people IRL consider long hair to be anything shoulder length or beyond. My bother GF's daughter says her hair is long and it's not even shoulder length and she thinks my hair is really long whereas I consider my hair to be kinda long and it's BSL. But when I see other's hair like Tee's hair I think it's long. erplexed

 

[senimoni]

Oh yeah thats the other insane thing too. Someone else can have hair the same length or shorter than mine and I'll see a pic and think its sooooo long...then I'm like wait...my hair is the same length. Thats why I know I have a problem.

:Chants:
My hair IS long
My hair IS long
My hair IS long

I have issues.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Oh yeah thats the other insane thing too. Someone else can have hair the same length or shorter than mine and I'll see a pic and think its sooooo long...then I'm like wait...my hair is the same length. Thats why I know I have a problem.

:Chants:
My hair IS long
My hair IS long
My hair IS long

I have issues.

I have seen some people's APL hair and I think it is longer than my BSL hair. *joins the chant* My hair IS long, my hair IS long, my hair IS long.....

 

[The Girl]

When someone outside of LHCF tells me my hair is long , I automatically think of Lauren450, CandyC, MsKibibi and Sylver2 and say to myself no it's not. When I recieve the same compliment from a LHCF member, I appreciate the compliment because I know I am making progress. I know most women on the board are striving for healthier, longer hair

exactly and then the list doesn't stop there. My hair will never be as long as the perception I have of the heads on here..Kini, Crs, DLEWIS,LOL I could go on and on but I don't want to leave out any more than I already have

 

[chica_canella]

Well, i just got a cut and i don't think my hair is long. it's between apl and shoulder length but everyone is sayint it is long and so full and healthy but I am a lhcf member so i know better.

 

[diamondlady]

Out there IS a totally different standard. I can remember out there. My hair is a little longer than shoulder length and I get people "ooohs and awwws" over the length of my hair, all the time when I wear it down. I know it's not long but then I look at their hair and I see why they think so. I can remember when I thought someone who had my hair length had long beautiful hair. I always thought my Mom's hair was long but now, I really don't think so.

My grandmother had waist length hair but I never thought that would be possible for me. (still don't) I use to think it was because she was part Indian and a lot of people still believe you "have to" be part something to have long hair.

 

[healthyhairin07]

I think it all has to do with perception. When I reach APL, I think I will consider my hair to be officially long. Right now it's shoulder length, but I usually wear it up, so most people can't tell, but I consider my hair to be somewhat long right now. I sent a pic of my hair to one of my friends, and she was like, "Your hair is so long." Hey, I receive it.

 

[KiniKakes]

I loved this story!

Like others, i can totally relate to this story..... because this board definitely has us judging hair on a whole other level. Before lhcf, full, thick, blunt APL hair was so long to me!!!! Now that i've gotten accustomed to heads like SweetCashew, Isis, Supergirl, Candy, and tons of others....... I sneer at my own BSL hair. Especially because my hair is so thin/fine, BSL just doesnt look that long on me. I feel like my BSL hair looks TOTALLY different than, say, Lauren450's BSL. Since im fine-haired, I wont be happy until Im MBL, i think. I see a few folks on here have named me as one of the long-haired ones...... but when i hold up that hand-mirror and look at my hair...... i dont see long hair. Like LocksofLuv said, once i hit BSL, it lost its appeal immedietely, and i still dont feel like it looks as long as many others.

Thanks for sharing that story, Mona!!!! As you can tell, many of us can relate to you, because we are all hair-anorexic in our own way!

Keep on growing, pretty girl!!!!!! And enjoy those wonderful compliments...... just think about how you looked at hair pre-LHCF!!!!

 

[tarheelgurl]

When I look at some of the ladies pictures on this board I feel like my hair is sooooo short, and thin, and ragedy, and bland, and dull..........! So, when people compliment me on it I am usually like "whaa??? Ok, thank you for saying so".