Torn between relaxing or continuing my transition....

mwhitin1

mwhitin1

New Member
Hey ladies.....to start I want to say that I know that this is a decision I will ultimately make on my own, but I feel better knowing others' opinions that have been in my position.
I haven't had a relaxer in 9 months and before that I hadn't had one in 10 months. I am great at stretching relaxers and I love my natural hair but around 9 and 10 mnths post-relaxer I always desire a straight look. I'm torn because I really want a head full of natural hair, but I also love the straight look. I don't know what to do....any opinons will inspire me.
 
I like staright hair too. I have been wearing my hair mostly straight for the past 2 months. I stopped getting relaxers b/c I was seeing damage from them. I also wanted to stop depending on relaxers for maintaining my hair. My hair is much thicker and healthier now. If you didn't have a problem with relaxers then fine. But getting a relaxer because you like straight hair then there are plenty of people that wear their naturala hair straighten. Also you don't have to cut all your hair off. You can do a long transition. I am.
 
I SAY, no relaxer, like some one said you can always flat iron. but when u relax thats a permenant change... just thnk about whats best for your hair.... cuz i only been on this natural journey since Aug 09, and i know i will never relax my hair again.
 
I don't think you should relax.
If you want a straight look, just invest in a good flat iron. Relaxer is not the only way to get straight hair.
 
I know how you feel. It's been eight months since my last relaxer and today was the first time I thought about relaxing. I, too miss straight hair. Though I have to say, my hair has not been this thick and healthy in a long time. I'm also getting good at the whole moisturize, seal and bun thing.

I gave it some more thought and decided to wait. I think once I get a handle on this thick hair, I'll be fine. For me, my main concern is summertime and what style to wear besides the braids I did last summer.

Give it some time and don't make any rash decisions. If you can learn to flat iron your hair well (which I'm still aiming to do) or try to find someone that specializes in natural hair and is willing to care for it properly and blow dry and flat iron, go for it. Good luck.
 
if you dont really know what you want to do go back to relaxing or continue transitioning you could always get it flat ironed, bkt it, or weave or wig it up for a while.
 
I'm kinda torn in the same situation. My last relaxer was Aug 11th. So far I have been just blowdrying and flat ironing. It's now getting to the point of whether I should just relax my hair. My hair was in a asymetrical bob, short in the back and chin length in the front. The front and side of my hair I can deal with. The back is like this poof fro. Its hard to try to figure out what to do with it. Because I have more natural in the back then relaxed hair. My hair in the back doesnt stay straight long.

What length is your hair?
 
Thank you ladies so much......you don't know how much you all have helped to make me feel better.....i love my thick natural hair and i think in the long run i will appreciate that fact that i didn't rush off to get a relaxer...imma give it some more thought and time...
 
Like others have said, you can still straighten your hair even though it's natural. I say keep transitioning. You can always decide later, when you're sure, to relax again but once you relax, if you decide you want to be natural you'll have to start your transition over...
 
Shoediva said:
I'm kinda torn in the same situation. My last relaxer was Aug 11th. So far I have been just blowdrying and flat ironing. It's now getting to the point of whether I should just relax my hair. My hair was in a asymetrical bob, short in the back and chin length in the front. The front and side of my hair I can deal with. The back is like this poof fro. Its hard to try to figure out what to do with it. Because I have more natural in the back then relaxed hair. My hair in the back doesnt stay straight long.

What length is your hair?
Click to expand...

My hair is very uneven, but most of my hair is full arm pit length. And like yours my hair in the very back is like a mini afro.LOL. It just takes a very long time for the deep-condition/flat iron process and then my whole head just poofs back up at the new growth at any sign of heat or humidity.And that's what had me considering a relaxer....
Are you still torn between the two or have you decided?????
 
I'm getting the itch to straighten too. But it's not worth the trouble (an expensive trip to my stylist or buy a CHI, FHI, GHD and heat protectant then spend 2-3 hours trying to get it right) for me. So back in the bun we go :).

I am hoping that you hang in there, OP. But, alas, transitioning is also a psychological journey so please do what's right for you and don't feel bad about it.
 
Glad to see this thread as I have decided to transition again. This time I plan on sticking with it. It's hard since I have had relaxed hair all my life, but I want to give my hair a break from the relaxers. I am wearing wigs right now to aid in keeping my sanity through the process. Lol!
 
mwhitin1 said:
My hair is very uneven, but most of my hair is full arm pit length. And like yours my hair in the very back is like a mini afro.LOL. It just takes a very long time for the deep-condition/flat iron process and then my whole head just poofs back up at the new growth at any sign of heat or humidity.And that's what had me considering a relaxer....
Are you still torn between the two or have you decided?????
Click to expand...

I havent relaxed yet, but I'm leaning more toward it.
 
You can go from natural to relaxed but not the other way around. I'd say transition for as long as possible, see how you like your natural hair, try pressing/flat ironing it too and if after all that you're still not satisfied then you can relax. HTH
 
There are other ways to straighten without relaxing! But don't make yourself feel guilty if you do relax.
 
Same shoes I'm in... I almost wanna just cut all my hair off and if I prefer relaxed over natural I can just relax again. But this transition is getting tiresome. I think around 9 months post I'll do a BC. I'm not worried about losing length, even though I haven't had hair this long as an adult, it'll grow back that I do know. I kinda just wanna be natural already. At one time I wanted length over natural hair, now the feeling is reversed.

Since you don't know, I'd suggest doing a style where you can leave your hair alone for a month or two. Maybe braids or twists...
 
My advice: Flat iron your hair and wear it straight for 1 or 2 weeks and then re-evaluate your feelings. Did you absolutely love your hair straight during that time? Did you just dread going back to your natural texture/transitioning hair? If both of those answers are yes, then you may want to consider if you simply prefer straight hair.

It's hard to say for sure since you're still transitioning (and half the frustration can be simply having 2 textures of hair at once). But personally, I love my curly hair. I wore my hair straight over Christmas and I was happy to get my curls back today when I cowashed.

I still like wearing a straight look now and then, but usually after a week I am yearning for my natural hair.
 
OP, I'm with you! I'm transitioning at 6 months post relaxer. I straightened my hair for the first time since August (flat iron) last week and it reverted so quickly. I'm watching my budget so I'm trying to not go to a stylist or get a sew-in. I'm tempted to relax but I also want to see what my natural texture looks like ---- I think that's what keeps me going. Do what is best for you!
 
you can use straightening gels and creams that you can use with the blowdryer to get your hair straight like a relaxer (i've done it during long stretches and you couldn't tell the difference) then flat iron well and wrap the hair. joico has a good blowdrying cream and flat ironing spray if you flat iron.

I guess consider does your hair do well with relaxers?
I know some women's hair cannot take relaxers so natural is a better healthier option for them.
if you never had problems with relaxers then I say do you.

to me whether the hair is natural or relaxed the main goal is having Healthy hair.
i'm able to keep my relaxed hair healthy so I keep relaxing with long stretches during the winter (will start another stretch waiting for newgrowth) in between.

like you said it's up to you, but do whatever is going to keep your hair healthy and damage free.

hth
 
I know at least one person recommended BKT, which was my personal choice because, while I like to wear my hair straight, I like knowing that I have the option of letting my BKT wear off, and I enjoy watching my natural texture as my hair grows. Granted, my ends are relaxed and therefore pretty straight, but I can twist, braid, curl, whatever, if I want. I am transitioning with the BKT and slowly trimming my relaxed ends as my hair grows. If you're on the fence, I think it's a terrific option as you will not have to permanently straighten, nor will you have to deal with tons of heat and styling time when you want your hair straight. There are pro's and con's, of course (several threads on this forum), but for me the benefits far outweigh any detriments. Just my 2 cents. Good luck, whatever you decide. HTH and HHJ! Oh, and congrats on the new honey!
 
I say dont relax/bkt etc. Im afraid if you do relax youll be dissapointed and want to start ALL the way over. Im afriad for you to bkt because your relaxed ends could become damaged from the process. Just think when your natrual you can have that versatility, but if you relax.... thats it, and youll have to start over if you change your mind. Flat ironing would be the best option:yep:
 
Ditto on the flat ironing. Go gitchoo (yes I made it a word) a maxiglide and call it a day. I'm 4 months (literally 18 weeks) post as I haven't relaxed since August. Girl the new growth is unreal. I almost went back to the creamy crack then I stopped and looked at my curly coilys. Not to mention when I maxiglide my natural hair looks JUST like my relaxed hair.... only thicker and healthier.

If all else fails put it up for a bit. I braided my hair and wigged it up. It curbed my urge to relax because I didn't have to deal with it on a daily basis. I still got to protect my grass AND rock straight styles. :yep:
 
I'm 19 weeks post and my NG is outta control! I've BKT'd twice before and I absolutely love it. I'm on a HYH mission until the end of January or who knows - maybe until spring. I keep telling myself that I'm going for a marathon stretch (6 months :drunk:) but I'm going to cut my scissor-happy stylist loose and transition to natural using BKT. :grin:
 
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