To the relaxed ladies...

[Cinnabuns]

Yeah it dosen't bother me either.

I've never heard the term until now. If I heard someone refer to me as a permie, I really wouldn't care. It doesn't bother me at all.

 

[gradygirl]

I know this question was to the relaxed ladies but I am natural and I dont like it either. It is a term that is used to put people down because they use relaxers. I never even heard of that word until I started visiting other websites for natural hair and it was never used in a good way .

 

[ladylibra]

i used to use the word "permie" on a particular hair board... i thought of it as short hand (natural = nappy, relaxed = permie) until i thought about it as having a negative connotation. like the word "female" is fine right, it describes my gender. but when a guy says, "i can't stand when y'all females get to yappin your traps," like he's substituted the word "b!tch" for "female" then i don't like it.

so i figured calling someone a permie wasn't really something i should be doing anymore.

I don't see what the big deal is. What is it to have against a relaxer because it didn't work for someone else? It works for me. My hair feels the same if it be relaxed or natural. It's still my hair.And nothing can change that.So don't feel sorry for me. And if you really into being natural why don't you let the stuff dread up like it would naturally and put no product in there. I learned this when I was in St.Croix. My friend Tafari(R.I.P), explained to me that his hair grew together like that NATURALLY the way it's suppose to be. I thought that it was neat. Do you think someone who is natural would be offernded if someone of another race called them nappy headed?

not everyone goes natural because a relaxer doesn't work for them. it worked for me fine, but i wanted to try something different. i mean i see what you're saying... i bothers me when natural-haired women have that high-and-mighty "enlightened" attitude towards relaxed-haired women, and it bothers me when relaxed-haired women have that same attitude towards relaxed-haired women. but just because i want to wear my hair natural doesn't mean i'm gonna let it loc up, nor does it mean i'm a die-hard vegan or i'm gonna stop using razors and Veet on my body hair. it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

i am not offended by the word "nappy" because my hair is nappy. that's just stating the obvious, like saying i'm black. but when someone says it in a negative connotation... we got problems!

 

[Chanteuse]

Had I not seen the term used in context then it probably would not bother me either. However the majority of people who use this term are NOT relaxed and it normally is meant to be very condescending. Like someone said earlier it's like a lightskinned peson calling a darkskinned person a "darkie". Or a someone with silky hair calling someone a "nappie". Not saying that they have nappy hair (which I probably still would have a problem with) but calling them a "nappie"

ETA - I can call my own hair nappy but I really don't want someone with non-nappy hair to call my hair nappy b/c most of the time they don't mean it in a complimentary way. BTW I'm relaxed but still consider my hair to be nappy, but that may be for another thread.

 

[tbaby_8]

I haven't heard this term before, but I wouldn't use it because I don't get perms, so therefore I'm not a permie.

 

[fluffylocks]

I just need to back to this because I find it very interesting. Hopefully you were being sarcastic but just in case...

Because I "am into being" natural I should want freeform locks? (that is what your friend is referring too) Why? I just find that statement ridiculous on so many levels.

If you called my hair nappy I would nod my hair in agreement. I know I am in the minority but to me the nappier the better.

But to answer the question I don't use the word permie.

I see what you & ladylibra are saying about the word "nappy" ---so to you guys the word means curly/kinky hair and your embracing that (am i right?)

Thats what always confused me---because growing up around me "nappy" was always a negative word for curly/kinky hair, and not only that, it also seemed to be assoicated with dry, rough, tangly hair that couldnt grow.
Then i learned that "nappy" was created along with the "N" word as things to insult us.

To me its like saying Nappy=Curly/kinky, and N*gger=Black.

 

[lovenharmony]

I see what you & ladylibra are saying about the word "nappy" ---so to you guys the word means curly/kinky hair and your embracing that (am i right?)

Thats what always confused me---because growing up around me "nappy" was always a negative word for curly/kinky hair, and not only that, it also seemed to be assoicated with dry, rough, tangly hair that couldnt grow.
Then i learned that "nappy" was created along with the "N" word as things to insult us.

To me its like saying Nappy=Curly/kinky, and N*gger=Black.

ITA! To me, nappy is a derogative term. It brings up Images of Buckwheat with dry, broken off, unkept hair.

 

[realitychk]

I see what you & ladylibra are saying about the word "nappy" ---so to you guys the word means curly/kinky hair and your embracing that (am i right?)

Thats what always confused me---because growing up around me "nappy" was always a negative word for curly/kinky hair, and not only that, it also seemed to be assoicated with dry, rough, tangly hair that couldnt grow.
Then i learned that "nappy" was created along with the "N" word as things to insult us.

To me its like saying Nappy=Curly/kinky, and N*gger=Black.

To some "nappy" does have a negative connotation (nappy=natural=dry, rough, tangly hair) which is why our mother's slapped relaxers on our head as soon as we were old enough to sit still. Luckily there are some of us who know this isn't true. Unfortunately the majority of people associate nappy and natural as being negative. Its just like wanting to be called brown skinned or cocoa or cappucino or whatever instead of dark skinned because being dark skinned has been seen as being a negative attribute.

 

[fluffylocks]

To some "nappy" does have a negative connotation (nappy=natural=dry, rough, tangly hair) which is why our mother's slapped relaxers on our head as soon as we were old enough to sit still. Luckily there are some of us who know this isn't true. Unfortunately the majority of people associate nappy and natural as being negative. Its just like wanting to be called brown skinned or cocoa or cappucino or whatever instead of dark skinned because being dark skinned has been seen as being a negative attribute.

I still kind of dont get it though because the word nappy was originally made as a word to slander our hair, it isnt like the word always existed and became negative.
I understand saying that our hair is dry, rough, or tangly ---but then someone has went and named it "nappy" as something offensive, and now everything that describes our hair is summed up into one negative word "nappy". And even though we on these hair boards love our hair, its like we cant really really use it in the context that we want to because everyone else is using the word to complain about their hair.
Even though we know that being natural is wonderfull, and everything about our hair is wonderfull, why would we want to keep a word that is saying the opposite, or means the opposite to most people?
I just think that word should go to hell for some reason. I feel like its an insulting word that shadows over all the things about our hair and makes it seem negative to people. It feels the same as trying to embrace the N word to me...they made that up to describe a black person, but its was used in a negative way and still carries that no matter how anyone tries to use it. If someone out of our race called us a N word, or said that we have nappy hair....then there is a problem, and that imo should say something *shrugs*

Im sorry though, dont mean to debate or anything.

 

[Monigirl]

Permie does not bother me at all. This is the first time I heard that word. Only term I hate being called is un-be-weavable. Allot of people can't believe black women can have long and strong natural or relaxed hair.