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To the relaxed ladies...

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personally dont like it, am actually someone that has never called relaxer perms not to talk of it been 'permie'.
I also find its confusing when the terms are used interchangeably.
 
ITA with Mariposasexygirl. I've never heard that term, probably because it probably fits more for the caucasians who perm their hair. IDK if I had a perm, I wouldn't care if someone called me a permie.
 
MariposaSexyGirl said:
But perms are what white girls get and relaxers are what we get....Maybe thats what you can call the people who get them.
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Yes, Mariposa, but for the longest time many of us stated we are getting a 'perm' today or whatever and used the term interchangably (sp?). Besides I don't hear anyone saying 'the relaxies.' I didn't really think of the true definition of either until this forum.
 
I don't think people should be classified as to what they do or do not do to their hair. I don't go to people and say "Hi Braider" or "Hey Dreadlocks". To me, it just detracts from the positive attributes of the hair. I usually let people know that my hair's relaxed, so there isn't really any need to refer to me as "Permie". I don't care if someone simply states that I have relaxed hair (because I do), I just don't like the term Permie for some reason.
 
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I feel that it's condescending,too. When I hear the term, it's usually to talk negatively about someone who relaxes and/or feel sorry for them. I many times visualize the person patting the one on the head who relaxes while saying this term.
 
lauren450 said:
I didn't like it when I was relaxed. It's kind of condescending. Why can't a person just say, "She has relaxed hair"?

To me, it's like the difference between saying "she's a black/white person", "she's a darkie/whitey".
Click to expand...

Exactly! I feel that people who use terms like that either feel sorry for those who relax their hair or have no idea why someone would want to relax their hair. In a way it's kind of like putting relaxed people down. We are all in this hair journey together, and I would never want to make someone feel bad because of what they choose to do with their hair (especially if what they are doing is working and their hair looks beautiful). We should all encourage one another, whether we are natural or relaxed.
 
I hate it. When I first heard it it was used in a negative way at a Naptural forum.

I don't consider myself a permie.
 
I'm not relaxed, but I was...

I don't like the term. I use "relaxed heads" or "natural heads" as shorthand when referring specifically to one or the other in a post or thread.
 
I've never heard the term until now. If I heard someone refer to me as a permie, I really wouldn't care. It doesn't bother me at all.
 
A perm is used to make straight hair curly and a relaxer is used to straighten...so permie just doesn't fit to me:look:
 
It's the way that I've seen it used (usually by super-militant naturals)that I don't like. It's more or less used as an insult or derogatory term the way I've heard it.
 
Bubblingbrownshuga said:
I feel that it's condescending,too. When I hear the term, it's usually to talk negatively about someone who relaxes and/or feel sorry for them. I many times visualize the person patting the one on the head who relaxes while saying this term.
Click to expand...

Hmm. That seems strange to me. One relaxes or remains natural as a choice, right? Pity should be directed (if ever) to those who had no choice, IMO.

Funny how we as humans strive to separate ourselves into classes, no matter what the circumstance! LOL

ETA: font
 
lauren450 said:
I didn't like it when I was relaxed. It's kind of condescending. Why can't a person just say, "She has relaxed hair"?

To me, it's like the difference between saying "she's a black/white person", "she's a darkie/whitey".
Click to expand...

I agree. I don't like the word. Never have. :nono: It's meant to be negative.
 
I don't see what the big deal is. What is it to have against a relaxer because it didn't work for someone else? It works for me. My hair feels the same if it be relaxed or natural. It's still my hair.And nothing can change that.So don't feel sorry for me. And if you really into being natural why don't you let the stuff dread up like it would naturally and put no product in there. I learned this when I was in St.Croix. My friend Tafari(R.I.P), explained to me that his hair grew together like that NATURALLY the way it's suppose to be. I thought that it was neat. Do you think someone who is natural would be offernded if someone of another race called them nappy headed?
 
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Traycee said:
A perm is used to make straight hair curly and a relaxer is used to straighten...so permie just doesn't fit to me:look:
Click to expand...

Yes. I'm not relaxed and never have been but it annoys me when people use 'perm' and 'relaxer' interchangeably because they are definitely not the same thing.

Perms or 'permanents' are when ammonium thioglycate is used to relax the hair then the hair is set on rods to achieve curls.

Relaxers contain sodium hydroxide or calcium hydroxide to relax the curls.

Until the Japanese started using ammonium thioglycate to straighten the hair, that was a huge difference between the two chemical processes.

So what have we learned? A perm is not a relaxer no more than a relaxer is a perm.
 
Never heard of it till just now, but it sounds dumb. Also the correct term is relaxed, so it's just wrong in any case. If someone called me that, I wouldn't care cause they're ignorant anyway!
 
Wow this is crazy. I never heard of the word before either. Im assuming/guessing that its only used on hair boards.

I guess the way i feel about the word depends on how its being used *shrugs*. The word itself doesnt even seem negative in the slightest though. If natural or relaxed ladies from say LHCF just choose to use that word to describe someone with a chemical process in their head i would be okay with it, but if i went on a forum where people had problems with chemicals and used it in a bad way, i would just ask them to stop. It isnt something that gets at my heart like the N word. I would think they were silly.

Is that supposed to be the same as people calling someone with natural hair "nappy" in a bad way? Now thats something that i dont like at all, I actually hate the use of the word "nappy" but alot of naturals call their hair "nappy" themselves so thats something that i always wondered about myself.

I do hate when relaxers are called "creamy crack" or "fire cream"....Why does it have to be all of that? :ohwell:
 
fluffylocks said:
Wow this is crazy. I never heard of the word before either. Im assuming/guessing that its only used on hair boards.

I guess the way i feel about the word depends on how its being used *shrugs*. The word itself doesnt even seem negative in the slightest though. If natural or relaxed ladies from say LHCF just choose to use that word to describe someone with a chemical process in their head i would be okay with it, but if i went on a forum where people had problems with chemicals and used it in a bad way, i would just ask them to stop. It isnt something that gets at my heart like the N word. I would think they were silly.

Is that supposed to be the same as people calling someone with natural hair "nappy" in a bad way? Now thats something that i dont like at all, I actually hate the use of the word "nappy" but alot of naturals call their hair "nappy" themselves so thats something that i always wondered about myself.

I do hate when relaxers are called "creamy crack" or "fire cream"....Why does it have to be all of that? :ohwell:
Click to expand...

Ugh, thank you! I really hate those 2 terms as well! And I hate the term 'nappy' because it's usually used in a negative way.

I've ALWAYS heard relaxers being called Perms for years. When you go to a salon that caters to our hair I think they know what you're referring to. Stylists, salon owners, patrons have always used that term.
 
MariposaSexyGirl said:
I don't see what the big deal is. What is it to have against a relaxer because it didn't work for someone else? It works for me. My hair feels the same if it be relaxed or natural. It's still my hair.And nothing can change that.So don't feel sorry for me. And if you really into being natural why don't you let the stuff dread up like it would naturally and put no product in there. I learned this when I was in St.Croix. My friend Tafari(R.I.P), explained to me that his hair grew together like that NATURALLY the way it's suppose to be. I thought that it was neat. Do you think someone who is natural would be offernded if someone of another race called them nappy headed?
Click to expand...

I just need to back to this because I find it very interesting. Hopefully you were being sarcastic but just in case...

Because I "am into being" natural I should want freeform locks? (that is what your friend is referring too) Why? I just find that statement ridiculous on so many levels.

If you called my hair nappy I would nod my hair in agreement. I know I am in the minority but to me the nappier the better.

But to answer the question I don't use the word permie.
 
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