To be natural or not to be natural???

[Saida]

I can't help it but theese last few days ive been having dreams, yes dreams, about getting my hair relaxed, ive been natural for like a year and a half, and my hair has really been growing, but then i look at all the relaxed ladies whos hair is growing to as long as the give their hair the proper treatment, and thats why mine didnt work, i just dont know what to do.

everytime i pass the relaxer in the store i have to force myself away, i need help ladies, what should i do, should i just go ahead and relax my hair or should i stay natural?

also i have another question, is it better for relaxed hair to be washed all the time, i felt like my hair was fine when it was washed when i was relaxed, now that im natural my hair dosent like to be washed that much.

 

[JustKiya]

Why would you want to stay natural?
Why would you want to get a relaxer?

Once you know the answers to those two questions, you'll know what you need to do.

For me - I literally couldn't do ANYTHING with my hair when it was relaxed - it was fine, fragile, dry, had no body, and wouldn't hold a curl if my life depended on it - and we aren't even going to talk about the scalp scabs from me doing my hair myself, or the 4-5 hour wait and the hole in my pocket from the salon.
On the flip side, I can do almost ANYTHING with my natural hair (including getting that super straight swing if I want to, by pressing it). Of course, I STILL have to be careful with it, I still have to keep it moisturized, and well, me & combs are only marginally on speaking terms, but at least I'm not fighting an uphill battle to keep my hair healthy, attractive, and on my head. And it's cheaper.

So, sis - what are YOUR reasons?

 

[Blaque*Angel]

GREAT POST nappywomyn

 

[Country gal]

Only you can decide for yourself. I love my natural hair. I am sticking it out. It gives me so much versality in styling options. You can see two ways I wear my hair frequently in my avatar and signature pic. You have to do what is right for you. I would talk to naturals that got relaxers. Get some insight from them. If you like relaxed hair that perm it. Make sure it is not an impulse decision. Weigh it very carefully.

 

[Blaque*Angel]

Only you can decide for yourself. I love my natural hair. I am sticking it out. It gives me so much versality in styling options. You can see two ways I wear my hair frequently in my avatar and signature pic. You have to do what is right for you. I would talk to naturals that got relaxers. Get some insight from them. If you like relaxed hair that perm it. Make sure it is not an impulse decision. Weigh it very carefully.

sorry to high jack but i love your avatar country gal

 

[Valerie]

I totally understand, now that I have been natural for four and a half years, I can't imagine that I was relaxed and my hair is much stronger, plus I can put highlights in my hair without problems.

 

[MizaniMami]

I might get beat down here, since no one every says 'get relaxed.' I mean, if you think it iwll enhance the way you look why not? What's the point of staying natural when you don't like it. Do you dislike being natural? Are you looking for straightness or managability?

Me personally I go for texlaxed. You can have the natural "look" if you relax light enough but yet have managabillity and straightness with minimal heat.

 

[kitchen_tician]

I might get beat down here, since no one every says 'get relaxed.' I mean, if you think it iwll enhance the way you look why not? What's the point of staying natural when you don't like it. Do you dislike being natural? Are you looking for straightness or managability?

Me personally I go for texlaxed. You can have the natural "look" if you relax light enough but yet have managabillity and straightness with minimal heat.

ITA to a certain extent. You must do what makes you happy and what works best for you. If you're able to maintain healthy relaxed hair and you like it, then do what you like. ITA, with nappywoman, you must answer the why questions first.

Lately, I've also been missing my sleek relaxed hair, but I made a committment to at least see myself all natural and then I'll make the ultimate decision whether to stay natural, relax or use regular heat to maintain. You have to do what works best for you.

To answer your question, my relaxed hair didn't like being washed often, but my natural hair likes it much more. BTW, I'm still transitioning, not fully natural.

 

[locabouthair]

i just recently relaxed after being relaxer free for four years. and i wore it natural for 1 year. i say if you don't have problems styling your natural hair stay natural. my natural hair was too much to manage and it was frustrating for me. that's why i relaxed . i still love natural hair but mine was a burden to style. if you just want a straight look maybe you can get a weave or a press. if you're happy with your natural hair stay natural if you aren't then maybe you can look as a relaxer as an option or a texturizer.

 

[ximenia]

ita with nappywomyn. u have to ask yourself why you wanted to be natural to begin with. if you want straight hair you can always press it but dont be natural if you dont want to be natural. i can never see myself going back to relaxed hair because of the upkeep involved, the scabs, shedding etc.......

 

[Cheleigh]

Honestly, I think you have to sort of go with your gut on this. I didn't really weigh the pros and cons in minute detail when I transitioned to natural--I simply didn't want to be relaxed anymore, and couldn't figure out why I still should be.

If I got to the point where I didn't want to be natural anymore, and couldn't figure out why I still should be, then I would probably get a relaxer again.

See for me, one of the main reasons I went natural was because I hate the drawn out process it takes to maintain (my) relaxed hair. I didn't like going to the shop; hated getting retouches; didn't like not being reliant on the retouch to achieve a great hair day; I didn't like the arsenal of equipement I needed to maintain my relaxed hair.

And the thing is that none of that would be any different if I relaxed my hair tomorrow. I'd still hate that part of the deal. So for me, the trade off of having straight hair all the time doesn't compensate for the things I disliked about maintaning my relaxed hair (I didn't hate my relaxed hair in and of itself at all--it grew well and was fairly healthy). When I walk past the 7-8 black hair salons near my work, I just breathe a sigh of relief, give the stylists and clients a big cheery smile, fluff out my shake and go, and keep stepping.

I'm the opposite--my relaxed hair didn't need frequent washing (well, I didn't do it because I always wanted to blow dry and flat iron it straight afterward) and I cowash my natural hair every day if I feel like it.

 

[MeccaMedinah]

Since you're pregnant you may want to stay away from relaxers.
Reconsider why you decided to be natural & then make your decision.
Nappywomyn & CG gave good advice.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I do this so much that my friends bet on it. I go for a year w a relaxer then BC....Go for another yr w/o a relaxer....then relax. Whatever! It's my hair, I do what I want with it. I say do what's right for you. My reason for relaxing is that I didn't know how to style my natural hair. I was tired of being a gel head. All I could do wash wash n gos which required a ton of gel for hold and curl definition. My relaxed hair was easier to care for because I had more experience caring for it. You may have more skill in handling yr natural hair while others like me have no clue. I wish u the best in yr decision.