nychaelasymone said:
I've been dating my college sweatheart again for almost a year. We were clear that we were going to date to see whether or not we were meant to marry (courting). Well he was at my house one day and decided to use my computer. He forgot to sign off and I read his e-mails. Well, there was one he sent a young lady professing his love for her and how much he wanted to marry her. Still devistated, I'm just asking God for the courage to just end this thing. I was single for a long time before he came back into my life and frankly, I'm ready for marriage. I know its natural to want to marry and have kids, but I really don't want to go back to that life. I enjoyed it, I wallowed in it, I lived the single life. Now that I'm 31, I'm ready to settle down. I'm dissapointed because I truly love him but he obviously doesn't love me and is scared to tell me. I'm happy he's found love. I'm happy he found someone to make him happy, sorry it wasn't me. He doesn't know that I know this but I can't sit another Sunday in church with him knowing that he's trying to love me. I deserve to be loved completely and honestly. I don't give up but I am tired or tears. God please, I know you know all things but I know that there is a man out there that you perfectly designed for me. I hate to ask.....but where is he? I'm tired of tears.
It never hurts to get our heart broken we all have been there. Sometimes unfortunately God is testing to see whether we love Him more than the other person. I pray that you will find the strength to move on. You cannot get something
new unless let the
old go. I am also prayful that you will have the strength to tell him the truth about the email and let him know you do not have bad feeling and hatred.
You are right you do not want anyone who wants someone else. God has your
Boaz just waiting for you but right now He is building your
character so you can get to the next level. Each
trial we face develops our character and other attributes to see if we are ready to go to the next level in life. Growth is often painful but so necesarry for us to obtain the
ultimate blessing of God. I know when I got my heart broken I did not think I was going to make it but now I am so glad he did it because God had someone 100 times better and to think I would have been with someone who was
NOT my soul mate.
You deserve the best and I know God loves you so much that He is determine for you to have it that's why He allow you to
see the emails to warn you that he is not the one which always means He(God) has something
better. Just hold on to God's unchanging hand and trust Him for your life and not yourself and you will see the blessing of God come to overtake you with joy, peace and happiness. Your tears will turn into tears of joy. Go through what must but ask God give you strength to move on. Do no stay in your situation once you deal with it by talking, crying etc. then move on and I beg you once you move on
not to nurse or rehearse it in others words do not talk about again after you have dealt with it.
Peace