Spinoff: Does the mixed question offends you?

[Cichelle]

I'm usually perplexed as to why the person needs or wants to know. Short of the census or forms I'm filling out that are needed for statistics of some kind, it seems highly irrelevant nearly all of the time. It doesn't offend me, but I usually say, "Why do you ask?" before I answer. I'm curious about these things.

 

[MochaEyeCandy]

Does it bother me when people think I'm mixed, no. Does it bother me when people ask me if I'm sure I'm not mixed, or call me a liar, YES!!! I think a fair number of people are secretly thrilled when someone mistakes them for being bi-racial...everywhere you turn, there is some form of bi-racial worship taking place.

 

[BostonMaria]

I am mixed AND I'm Spanish, yet nobody asks me if I am LOL

 

[jndurieux]

I am actually mixed with west indian and french... It does not offend me when people ask me if I am mixed, however I think it can be a back handed compliment because you are made to believe you must be mixed to have nice hair and that is simply not the case.

 

[stargazer613]

It doesn't offend me. I just find it a little shocking/disturbing when you tell people what you are and they don't believe you, as if they (random stranger) somehow know your lineage better than you do. erplexed

 

[Millahdoowop]

No it doesn't. Most times I laugh at people (in their faces) and tell them yeah I'm mixed with black and more black. lol I don't feel it's a compliment either. It's not all that serious to me. I guess you can say I don't care either way.

 

[Isis77]

I agree with some others with being annoyed when people don't believe me when I say that I'm NOT mixed. (I would like to think that I know MOST of my lineage! ) I usually just tell them that I've got white on both sides about 5 generations back (which really is the truth!)

I've gotten that question so much my whole life though that I'm used to it now, and I expect it to get even "worse" once my hair gets longer b/c it's obviously "impossible" for a black woman to have long hair without being mixed!!!! ah, ignorance.....how I hate thee....

 

[cupcakes]

doesnt offend me at all

 

[RegaLady]

I don't look mixed and I have been asked this maybe once in my life. I have been mistaken for a 'Hispanic girl' by a yt lady,before (I guess we all look alike). For the most part I get that I look 'exotic'. Well, I am. My mother is mixed with a bunch of things and my daddy is Nigerian. I kinda have been offended, but I am learning to love my uniqueness. I still get asked about being exotic even with my short hair. It is in the face structure.
My mother is light with WL hair and one day my friend saw her hair down and asked,"Oh what is she?" I swear it was until then that I realized slow people connected hair length with ethnicity.

 

[Latomian]

I have to admit that a few days ago I was asked and got kinda happy. It was like two high school aged girls in the relaxer (ethnic hair care, I think) section in Walmart. I got this big grin and was like, "No, why?" Then they said it was b/c of my hair (I was wearing a BRAIDOUT in a poofy bun) so I took the time to "school" them on how I got my hair to this state and how we needed to stop thinking black women couldn't have long, thick and/or healthy hair.

I told them about low mani/low and indirect heat/ stretching and braidouts and deep conditioning. I had my own little consultation in Walmart, haha. BUT, what I most enjoyed is that they didn't question me or get that, "yea, right, I'm not doin all that," look.

I don't like being stingy. It would be wonderful to see a bunch of black women with healthy, strong heads of hair!

 

[tnorenberg]

I have to admit that a few days ago I was asked and got kinda happy. It was like two high school aged girls in the relaxer (ethnic hair care, I think) section in Walmart. I got this big grin and was like, "No, why?" Then they said it was b/c of my hair (I was wearing a BRAIDOUT in a poofy bun) so I took the time to "school" them on how I got my hair to this state and how we needed to stop thinking black women couldn't have long, thick and/or healthy hair.

I told them about low mani/low and indirect heat/ stretching and braidouts and deep conditioning. I had my own little consultation in Walmart, haha. BUT, what I most enjoyed is that they didn't question me or get that, "yea, right, I'm not doin all that," look.

I don't like being stingy. It would be wonderful to see a bunch of black women with healthy, strong heads of hair!

Latomian,I like your approach. For me I usually don't care, but It depends on what mood I am in that day.

 

[drasgrl]

Funny I came across this thread because just today one of my roommates asked me if I was part Japanese. The other week one of my co-workers asked me what my ethnicity was. I don't get offended doesn't really bother me.

 

[Jadore_tay]

I am mixed my mom is Indian & Spanish & my dad is afr. american.... People ask me if i'm mixed then say oh no wonder your hair is long ummm no my hair is this length because I take care of it not because my mom is not an afr. american means I have silk for hair

 

[2themax]

I've been asked that question for most of my life. And, yes I am mixed:
Cherokee Indian
Semoyan Indian
African American
Irish
I used to get offended, but not anymore. And, I'm sure that it wasn't because of my hair.. Generally, it's because of my color. Now my hair is a different story. Some days it's straight, some days it's wavy, some days it's coarse & some days it's all of the above

 

[PerplexingComplex]

I'm always get irritated when someone asks me that. Probably because of how it's ask

Person: What are you?
Me: a human?
Person: No, what race are you?
Me: black
Person: JUST BLACK?!?!....Are you sure?
Me:

That is always the conversation and I hate it. If I ask why they asked that question it's always "you look exotic" or "you don't look like a regular black person". what does a regular black person look like?

 

[empressri]

Only if I tell someone no, and they insist that I am. Upon which I cuss them out and make them feel stupid so they leave me alone.

 

[truequeen06]

I don't mind so much when someone asks if I'm mixed. I do, however mind when someone says the only reason why my hair is long is because I'm mixed and when I tell them I'm not, they insist I have some indian (native american) in my blood

 

[oldcrayons]

Nah, it doesn't. It's silly that it offends people. But I get more offended when people assume that I'm half-Filipino or some other Asian race because I'm not. I sometimes go to Japanese stores to buy things and the cashier started speaking Japanese to me... AWKWARD. And I've been told repeatedly that I look"Mongoloid" whatever the hell that means. I think I'm more offended by it since I'm Black and Ukrainian/Scottish. I'm NOT Asian. I wish people will stop asking or assuming. And then going "ARE YOU SURE?"

 

[Miamori]

Not usually.

It does if it is insisted on, though, or if whoever is asking relates it to my eyes, or my hair (generally only when it is straight), or my intelligence, or the way I speak, or my figure, or my tastes. Normally, when I am asked, it is related to my appearance and the idea that something about me is attractive or pleasing to the eye. I read a lot into things, but this offends me because it suggests blackness is aesthetically inferior. Or at times someone asks because of my college (or the schools I attended in the past), as if to say it would be more probable for me to me inarticulate or stupid if I weren't heavily mixed, biracial, or multiracial.

So I generally don't get offended until it gets to the point where people insist I MUST be mixed because otherwise, some good quality I have just doesn't make sense - a black girl shouldn't be like that. I don't like it.

 

[hairedity]

the fact that so many of us can answer this question show that most of us "look mixed" ..this just proves that there is no specific one dimension way to "look black".

 

[Ganjababy]

When I was a child through to being a teenager though I am as black as night people used to ask if I had Indian in my family because of the curl pattern of my hair (it is not that curly now). I used to find it offensive because it is none of anyones business and I was a bit confused about what exactly to say. I was not brought up to glorify any Euopean or Indian side of the family as any miscegenation was not through love (as I am sure some families are) but through rape and subjugation. The one mixture of the races that came about through mutual consent was between my black great grandfather and his 1/2 white 1/2 East Indian girlfriend and when she became pregnant she refused to marry him and gave up the child (my grandmother) for adoption because for her to marry a black man at that time was below her status as an almost white woman.

I do think though that it is a rude and stupid question. Most black people in the Americas are mixed are they not? I guess they mean if the mixture is recent or from slavery times? Dunno. My little nieces experience these questions at school and have already learned that being mixed is something that is valued

 

[wish4length]

I get asked if I'm mixed often...
When they ask me if I'm mixed with anything I say yes.
When they ask with what I say Black!
Black people are exotic and have beautiful features to me...

 

[LongCurlyLocks]

No, but I've been getting the question since elementary so I'm used to it. Plus, I am a descendant of Af-Am, White and Native American tribes (three actually), so I guess I am fairly mixed. But more than half Af-Am. The thing that puzzles me now is that I'm getting the Latina things-sometimes more than the Native American. Not that I mind but it still kinda puzzles me. Plus I figure like this. You and the Higher Power know what you really are and that's all that counts. Let others say and think whatever about you. Long as you are ok with yourself then you don't need to worry about something else. If I got offended about every little thing that was said or thought negative about me sh!t by now I would be in a mental ward or dead from a nervous breakdown or some silly suiside.....

 

[Christina Dior]

sometimes cuz its like you have to battle with people when you say no I'm black they look at you like OR in this other situation black girl says what are you mixed with? ME:nothing Black Girl: oh thats what i thought you dont look that mixed. ME: