Someone, Anyone, Please Help

[dke415]

Hi all, I'm new to this forum, but I'm not new to the science of black hair. I'm a long time lurker on a lot of forums and blogs (including this one, BHM, Curly Nikki, etc), but I decided to join the LHC community.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted long hair. But after my mom started relaxing my hair (probably around 7/8), my hair hasn't grown an inch. I was probably MBL in preschool, and remained so up until HS, where I started to flat iron. Because I got sick of being stuck in that ugly in between phase of a cute short cut and getting longer, I cut my hair before college, and over the 4 years I've been there it's pretty much remained the same. I guess you could say I've been transitioning for over 2 years now, but most of that has been researching. I've spent god know how much money on hair product, switched over from using sulfates. I've stopped relaxing 2 years ago (although I do texlax - last one was 2 months ago, with Phytospecific index 1).

I know my hair is fragile, but is it really THIS fragile? I have white dot breakage all over my hair. Out of desperation I chopped off 2 or 3 inches a couple nights ago, and still so many of these white dots! I have hardly ANY split ends (which sounds like an achievement), but with all these breakage points in my hair I'd rather the split ends.

I usually wash my hair about 3x week (co-wash), and actually use shampoo 1x (a dime sized amount of a sulfate free shampoo). I usually wear my hair in braidouts or twistouts, and if it gets old, I put it in a bun. I eat really healthy, exercise at least 3x a week (during school I go everyday), and take vitamins. I realised i've been drinking too much water about a month ago (i was getting headaches), so I now just drink when I am thirsty.

I'm feeling really frustrated right now I feel like I'm going to cry. :'( I feel like no matter what I do or try I don't see any results, and if I do see results they don't last for long. I've spent too much money, and I want to be able to see the results that you ladies are seeing. If i could even just reach MBL, Id be ecstatic!

So I guess my main question is, what do i do about these breakage points? I know that they mean that I need more moisture and I think I've been a bit protein heavy recently (because of the texlaxing), but i know that putting more moisture in NOW, isn't going to do anything for all the breakage currently in my hair. Will I just have to wait it out again, and wait now for not the relaxer but the breakage to grow out? I may be wrong but feel like my hair is so delicate that even the braiding and twisting and braiding is causing it to break. (Sorry this post became so long!) What should I do?

 

[lamaria211]

White dots sound like shedding not breakage. Try using tea. Or garlic conditionera. There is an ongoing coffee and tea rinse challenge with tons of helpful info if you decide to go that route
& welcome

 

[Nonie]

lamaria211 I think you're confusing the white bulb at the base of shed hair with the white dots OP is referring to which are how mid-strand splits may appear. Like little windows of light.

OP, if you have fragile hair, then I don't think you need to be manipulating your hair much. Braid-outs and twist-outs, while to many seem like low mani are a recipe for tangles. Which means you end up having to detangle your hair (considering shedding happens DAILY) so breakage occurs. Also I don't know why you feel you have to wash your hair so often. Wet hair is fragile so I don't know how with so many washes you're able to wear the -out styles you say you wear. You'd have to be redoing the style every time, which means more manipulation.

I have fragile hair and if I didn't leave it alone in braids or twists, I'd never have made the strides I've made.

Also if you're not on a regular dusting schedule then your hair will "dust" itself for you and you'll find yourself stuck at the same length. Fragile hair (fine strands) split at the slightest thing. So frequent manipulation is not your friend. And dusting for fine-haired ladies is a must if they are to retain length.

 

[dke415]

lamaria211 I think you're confusing the white bulb at the base of shed hair with the white dots OP is referring to which are how mid-strand splits may appear. Like little windows of light.

OP, if you have fragile hair, then I don't think you need to be manipulating your hair much. Braid-outs and twist-outs, while to many seem like low mani are a recipe for tangles. Which means you end up having to detangle your hair (considering shedding happens DAILY) so breakage occurs. Also I don't know why you feel you have to wash your hair so often. Wet hair is fragile so I don't know how with so many washes you're able to wear the -out styles you say you wear. You'd have to be redoing the style every time, which means more manipulation.

I have fragile hair and if I didn't leave it alone in braids or twists, I'd never have made the strides I've made.

Also if you're not on a regular dusting schedule then your hair will "dust" itself for you and you'll find yourself stuck at the same length. Fragile hair (fine strands) split at the slightest thing. So frequent manipulation is not your friend. And dusting for fine-haired ladies is a must if they are to retain length.

Ahh okay, so I AM overmanipulating... How long do you keep your hair in braids or twists for? I go to school so I try to style my hair every morning to go to classes. I know a lot of ladies wear their hair in protective styles, but since my head is so small I don't look good in many protective styles, so I wear my hair out. Is there no way to wear hair out and still retain length? Other than weaves (I know it's weird but I can't stand them lol)

 

[workinprogress1]

lamaria211 I think you're confusing the white bulb at the base of shed hair with the white dots OP is referring to which are how mid-strand splits may appear. Like little windows of light.

OP, if you have fragile hair, then I don't think you need to be manipulating your hair much. Braid-outs and twist-outs, while to many seem like low mani are a recipe for tangles. Which means you end up having to detangle your hair (considering shedding happens DAILY) so breakage occurs. Also I don't know why you feel you have to wash your hair so often. Wet hair is fragile so I don't know how with so many washes you're able to wear the -out styles you say you wear. You'd have to be redoing the style every time, which means more manipulation.

I have fragile hair and if I didn't leave it alone in braids or twists, I'd never have made the strides I've made.

Also if you're not on a regular dusting schedule then your hair will "dust" itself for you and you'll find yourself stuck at the same length. Fragile hair (fine strands) split at the slightest thing. So frequent manipulation is not your friend. And dusting for fine-haired ladies is a must if they are to retain length.

What do you mean by the hair dusting itself ? Why does it do that ? Sorry if I'm interrupting OP.

 

[dke415]

What do you mean by the hair dusting itself ? Why does it do that ? Sorry if I'm interrupting OP.

I think she means that kind of ironically, like the hair will snap and break at those points without care?

 

[Nonie]

What do you mean by the hair dusting itself ? Why does it do that ? Sorry if I'm interrupting OP.

@workinprogress1 I just answered that question in your thread. Hair will wear away because it's ORGANIC. All organic things grow old with time. Your hair is exposed to the elements, manipulation, or just simply the ravages of time. The oldest parts are the ends which also happen to be like the open end of a cylinder. Moisture loss happens there first and so sealing does help prolong the life of ends. But "old age" is inevitable...so they will still wither. Splits will start at a microscopic scale and as they grow to a point where you can see them, the hair loses mass. It is why sometimes people just wake up one day to find they have thin ends and swear their hair didn't break. Well, cuticle damage happens gradually even when you're very careful and along with that comes explosion of the cortex and next thing you know, you have pieces of the whole that are too weak to withstand normal styling...so like powder they fall off. Or if your strands hold on for a while, you just see pieces breaking off. Why? Coz they are no longer WHOLE and have been splitting from a scale you couldn't see and losing pieces of themselves.

That's what I call "natural dusting". You either take matters into your own hands and use sharp scissors to cut off the weakened ends before you even see them and stop them traveling up...or you just let nature take its course and they'll fall off on their own. Problem with that is they fall off leaving a rugged end like this:

And that rugged end continues the upward travel of the tear...and the cost to your retention continues.

If you cut your hair yourself, you create a full end that is solid and stronger and therefore more able to withstand the "trials". You can see the difference in my own strand below. Notice how large my thumb nail is to get an idea of how much I had to magnify the strand to see this. Notice too that my damaged strand doesn't look split. But close observation shows a thinning that can only happen when a strand has split and pieces of it broken off. Then notice how thick the end looks when the weakened portion gone. A sharp pair of scissors also ensures, a smooth finish...so tear notches are no longer providing an easy beginning to splits.

So yeah, if I hadn't dusted that end, it would have "dusted" itself coz it's thin and hence weaker than the whole.

 

[workinprogress1]

@Nonie Sorry, I didnt see you replied to my thread before I asked in here. Momma always told me I was a problem child Thanks again.

 

[dke415]

So, Nonie (thanks for that info btw): how long do you keep your hair in braids or twists for? I go to school so I try to style my hair every morning to go to classes. I know a lot of ladies wear their hair in protective styles, but since my head is so small I don't look good in many protective styles, so I wear my hair out. Is there no way to wear hair out and still retain length? Other than weaves (I know it's weird but I can't stand them lol)

 

[MzSwift]

IA with the over manipulation. Also moisture IS the way to combat protein overload. Maybe you could find a cute curly half wig. You can cornrow your hair and wear it slightly back, exposing only the front of the cornrows. Search for more PS's. I'm a firm believer that there's a PS for everyone, you just have to find yours. GL!

 

[Nonie]

So, @Nonie (thanks for that info btw): how long do you keep your hair in braids or twists for? I go to school so I try to style my hair every morning to go to classes. I know a lot of ladies wear their hair in protective styles, but since my head is so small I don't look good in many protective styles, so I wear my hair out. Is there no way to wear hair out and still retain length? Other than weaves (I know it's weird but I can't stand them lol)

dke415I have been in twists since August 2009. I just treat them as hair--or should I say locs. I wash, condition/DC in them. I style them for variation. I also love hats and headwraps so use them on days I don't feel like doing anything. I haven't worn my hair out since 2009. I just undo one twist at a time and redo it as I watch TV until I get bored. So I never have loose hair that might overwhelm me. I then continue from where I left off by feeling the roots to find the twists that have not been redone. By redoing, I also get to remove shed hair so I never have tangles.

If your hair is in twists you can braid them to get them wavy and wear them loose. The point is, you hair stays "held in a detangled state" so you'll not have to manipulate to detangle, yet can still enjoy your hair as if it were loose.

This is a braid-out on my twists:

@MzSwift's idea to wear wigs is another excellent way to leave your hair alone and still enjoy cute styles. One of my favorite wig wearers is @JJamiah. She rocks them beautifully and if you didn't know better, you'd think it was her hair. If I could find a wig that didn't look like an animal sitting on my already large head, I'd be rocking them too. You're lucky you don't have a big head. You can rock almost anything with a small head.

 

[Victoria44]

I agree that you should protective style. If you keep your hair in braids or a type of protective style that lasts 6-8 weeks, and continue to wash and moisturize as you would if your hair was out, and keep doing that for say half a year, you will probably see a big improvement..

Of course you have to be extremely gentle when taking out the style, as to not worsen the ends any more than they already are, and dust after every take down, to slowly get rid of the damage without sacrificing too much length..