SMH...forced to start over again..4 years and no progress

[Glitter]

(I fully admit this is a vent post. Sorry, I just need to get this out)

I swear, I think I need to start thinking about giving up this long hair thing.

In November, I got a relaxer. I'm not sure if it was overprocessing or a reaction. The result was EXTREME breakage. I had a a 2 inch by 3 inch patch of my head that was literally broken off to the scalp. It was horrible - my hair was falling out in clumps. I also developed a smaller patch (1 inch by 2 inch) of breakage in the very front of my head.

Fast forward until last week. Feeling that I have enough hair for a touch up (I am 11 weeks post), I go in for a relaxer at another spot. The stylist gives me a relaxer but when it comes to styling...she tells me that she can't cover up the patches and make them blend with the rest of my hair (I was about collarbone length previously). She then gives me an asymetrical haircut, so one side is ear length and gradually moves to chin length on the other side.

I know in my heart that getting the haircut was the right thing. I am recovering from a lot of hair trauma. But the hair that was cut off wasn't damaged at all. It just hurts to know that 4 years later, I'm literally at the exact same place I was when I first found LHCF.

From the time that I noticed the breakage to the time I got a touch up (about 8 weeks), I can say that some good has occurred. I found some great products for my hair and I learned that my hair doesn't like cones. I also upped my vitamins. I made these changes bc I was desparate to stop the hair breakage. All in all, I achieved about 1.5 inches of growth in that 8 week period.

I don't think it's possible for me to be APL (my goal this year). But I am going to try to make it back to collarbone length again by December.

Thanks for listening. Just needed to get this off my chest so I can move forward and continue to grow.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

awww, i know how you feeel, please dont give up tho. you will get there. i truely believe you will if u just stick to it. there was times i felt like this, and now look. just dont get discouraged!!! please keep going and keep your head up.

eta, hair grows so fast when you dont watch it. just do all the right things for its health and dont worry about the length, just the health and before you know it youll be bruching you shoulders with it.

 

[taj]

Failure is not an option. Be patient and consistent. Focus on health first and growth last. Once your hair is healthy it will flourish and growth will follow. Don't worry, it's going to get better.

I know that you recently relaxed. Would you consider stretching relaxers and protective styling until the condition of your hair becomes stronger? I'm afraid that relaxing over bald areas or patches may weaken that area. Therefore relaxing at this time may not be in your best interest.

 

[ctosha]

I agree with Taj maybe relaxers are doing more harm than good at this time. Have you considered transitioning to natural as maybe you are allergic to relaxers or an ingredient in them. I'm not sure but maybe you should go to a dermatologist (if thats the correct person to go to for these situations) and let him/her know of your issue then maybe he/she can determine if you are infact allergic to something in the relaxer you are using.

 

[Janet']

Aww, OP...I am SO sorry about what happened. However, all is not lost! I agree with the rest of the posters...perhaps a stretching challenge is in order. It is obvious that your hair will grow because you mentioned that in an 8 week period, you had about 1.5 inches of retention. Continue to baby that hair, focus on health, and I promise- it will get better!

 

[darlingdiva]

I agree with the other posters: please don't call it quits. "Healthy Hair Journey" is an appropriate term for this hair thing because everything that we go through makes it a journey.

You are already making progress, though. You've discovered that your hair doesn't like cones, you've increased your vitamin intake (internal health is very important for hair health and retention), and you've found great products for your hair. You're on the right path. Just stick with it.

 

[virtuenow]

So you're still gonna stick to relaxers after all of that? Wow. It sounds like you have the kind of hair that no matter what, once u slap on the relaxer, it will break you off to the root (at unpredictable times). Once I figured that out about my hair...and had this experience: I got to the longest length I had ever been, relaxed after a long stretch, bam* hair broke off in back. AFter that I went natural never to return to the mysterious relaxer hair breaking system.

 

[locabouthair]

I think she probably didnt rinse the relaxer properly or didnt neutralize properly. I had patches like that before and it was when the relaxer wasn't rinsed out properly. I'm sorry that happened to you but your hair will grow back. Dont give up.

 

[Rei]

So you're still gonna stick to relaxers after all of that? Wow. It sounds like you have the kind of hair that no matter what, once u slap on the relaxer, it will break you off to the root (at unpredictable times). Once I figured that out about my hair...and had this experience: I got to the longest length I had ever been, relaxed after a long stretch, bam* hair broke off in back. AFter that I went natural never to return to the mysterious relaxer hair breaking system.

my hair was exactly like this. I've been on this board and following advice for 5 years and my hair would always still break at CBL. only the last year has been without a relaxer, and I'm half an inch from APL after BCing :V

OP if you like the straight look, perhaps try like others have said, stretching your relaxers, or even using a different relaxer? Is the relaxer you are using superstrength? lye or no lye?

 

[lboogie2679]

I would suggest becoming a DIYer. You are equipped with knowledge and with the wealth of info here you can accomplish your goals. Trying different stylists always ends in horror for me. With regard to your relaxer it could have been a bad application on fragile hair or the type of relaxer might not have been the best for your hair. Time to take matters into your own hands! Don't give up, look at this incident as an opportunity for a new beginning.

 

[honeybuni84]

i had these same patches when i was relaxed.. it sounds like the caustic in the relaxer might be eating through your hair.. While i am always a fan of going natural, i would suggest maybe using a gentle relaxer and increasing the amount of time between relaxers..

 

[classychic1908]

((HUGS)) Don't give up! When you acheive your hair goals they will mean just that much more!

 

[HauteHippie]

Please don't give up. I had a recent small setback, but sometimes when I feel discovered I look at brazenbombshell's post. She had quite the comeback. This one may help you http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=288413

This one has comeback stories in it http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=443484

 

[Tickin4Gold]

Sorry about your setback after 4 years. I've had tons, but with each setback I learn something new. Right now I am about the same length I was 2 years ago. Because I decided to texlax and cut off my relaxed ends.

I stopped doing stylists because I felt like I had no control over my hair that way. By doing my own hair I know that if I mess up, I only have my self to blame instead of wanting to do bodily harm to a stylist that doesn't know any better.

Please continue your hair journey- this time around you have all the knowledge you've acquired over the last 4 years so it should be easier.

btw: It sounds like you got a cute hairdo

 

[virtuenow]

my hair was exactly like this. I've been on this board and following advice for 5 years and my hair would always still break at CBL. only the last year has been without a relaxer, and I'm half an inch from APL after BCing :V

OP if you like the straight look, perhaps try like others have said, stretching your relaxers, or even using a different relaxer? Is the relaxer you are using superstrength? lye or no lye?

Yes, I started achieving real growth once I cut the relaxers also. I did super long stretches and had good growth-- but once i relaxed, my hair would disappear in patches. I was going to a prof'l who was rinsing and neutralizing properly (so that was not a factor anymore); and she tried to encourage me to go natural and to co-wash and moisturize (before I ever discovered Lhcf!).

With that said, I would never endorse the stretch technique to someone w/the OP's hair history. If she wants straight hair, then we have flat irons that do the job just right!

 

[imaccami]

I think that becoming a DIYer is your best option. I wouldn't trust anyone to relax my hair. They're almost always unwilling to rinse it long enough and neutralize it properly. People usually get breakage at the nape because that's the hardest part to thoroughly rinse when your head is in the bowl.

It's very possible to grow long hair and be relaxed.

At this point you don't know if it was the strength of the relaxer, if she left it in too long, or if the stylist did a piss poor job neutralizing/rinsing. No one will take care of your hair like you will, and at this point what do you have to lose. You can definitely do a better job than the stylists you've been to, so why not give it a try.

Good luck.

 

[sharifeh]

I think that becoming a DIYer is your best option. I wouldn't trust anyone to relax my hair. They're almost always unwilling to rinse it long enough and neutralize it properly. People usually get breakage at the nape because that's the hardest part to thoroughly rinse when your head is in the bowl.

ohhhhhhhhhh so that's why.........

*lightbulb goes on*

I'm sorry OP.