Should I Change My Number? Any Other Option?

[Ediese]

Oops...sorry this is so long..I'm on vacay with nothing to do.

It's been about 16 mos since I ended this relationship with Paul. Since then, I dated Ben for a bit, ended the relationship, and decided to chill and focus on school.

I will admit that after I ended my relationship with Ben, I considered getting back together with Paul look: I know, I know... such an unhealthy relationship, but I felt this magnetic pull that has really, really, really hard to break -- no it's not just sexual lol)Throughout my relationship with Ben, Paul never stopped calling/texting, begging for us to get back together. I cut off all contact when Ben and I started dating seriously. (FYI.. I did humour Paul in the beginning by texting him back telling him he had his chance, I wasn't interested, blah blah. I started ignoring his texts and sending his calls to voicemail after Ben and I got serious.)

After Ben and I broke up, I felt like I needed to see if there was anything there with Paul. (Don't ask why. I really can't answer that. God forbid..but if I'm being honest with myself, I couldn't totally push him out of my mind) He text me back in March/April asking for me to please that I didnt' want any part of him then he'd go away. He textd me plans for the weekend asking if it was okay with me, and I went ahead with it. We took a little weekend trip.

We went to dinner on Friday night, and everything was great. He was extra charming in his little narcissistic way, trying to butter me up. For the entire time, he tried to make me think that he had somehow matured overnight, and was finally ready to give me what I wanted. Everything that came out of his mouth was what I've been wanted to hear from jumpstreeet. That conniving sonofagun was trying to play me again. lol I just looked and smiled because I couldn't believe the crap he was spewing. (I had been through this before) We did sleep in the same bed , but nothing happened. lol damn..that man is sexxay! lachen: He never tried either. lol (he knows I always said it was about sex, so he made sure to not try anything)

We went to breakfast in the morning, and then drove down to his land in the country. We really had a great time just enjoying each others company. When he drove me home, he said that he missed 'us', and that he really wanted to get back together. I told him that I'd let him know.

Okay. I was talking this through with a friend that was pissed that I even agreed to go. I realized that I had to do this for ME. Even though I felt like I had moved on, thoughts of him still lingered in my mind. After that trip, I realized that I did care about him, but not in the way that really counts. I told him that afterwards. I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't.

I thought he respected that, but I guess not. It's been 4/5 months later, and he still texts me. I haven't seen he dropped me home, and I stopped replying to him back then too. What is it? Am I going to have to change my number?

I finally replied today and told him that chapter in my life has closed. I've moved on. Please stop contacting me. This **** replies, "Life is a journey. The chapter can be reopened. I know I've made a mistake. I've been doing a lot of soul searching, and I know you're the person I want to settle down with." Um..what?? I didn't even reply. I'm trying to think if it's worth it to change my number. I would have thought he would have already moved on, but I guess this is what guys do until they break you down. What do you suggest I do? Hmm..I will say that sometimes I do think about the sex, and wanna tell him, 'aight come over for a sec!' It was that great! lol then, I think of what an *** he is, and that thought goes away real fast.

 

[ThickHair]

If you want too. What I do is to just change the name attached to the number. I have had many ringing cellphone and I look and see F'in Bastid, Short Dyck, A-hole. They all gave me a chuckle and I know why I no longer need to speak to them or text them.

 

[Sapphire]

If you're not able to control the urge to give in to his advances and you truly want him out of your life, I would go ahead and change my number. This was the only way I was able to move on from a guy who refused to understand that I was over him (or at least trying to be). However, if you go this route, don't give in (like I did) if they attempt to contact you through some other method like facebook, email, etc.

 

[Honey Brown]

If your certain your done with him,than either change your number if he keeps being persistant,or put his calls straight to voice mail,permanently and ignore him,if you do the later,sooner or later,he will definately get the message and move on. How much fun can it be calling/texting some one who is obviously not interested nor responding to you??!! He will finally grasp the realization of NO CONTACT!!

 

[lijm83]

Oops...sorry this is so long..I'm on vacay with nothing to do.

It's been about 16 mos since I ended this relationship with Paul. Since then, I dated Ben for a bit, ended the relationship, and decided to chill and focus on school.

I will admit that after I ended my relationship with Ben, I considered getting back together with Paul look: I know, I know... such an unhealthy relationship, but I felt this magnetic pull that has really, really, really hard to break -- no it's not just sexual lol)Throughout my relationship with Ben, Paul never stopped calling/texting, begging for us to get back together. I cut off all contact when Ben and I started dating seriously. (FYI.. I did humour Paul in the beginning by texting him back telling him he had his chance, I wasn't interested, blah blah. I started ignoring his texts and sending his calls to voicemail after Ben and I got serious.)

After Ben and I broke up, I felt like I needed to see if there was anything there with Paul. (Don't ask why. I really can't answer that. God forbid..but if I'm being honest with myself, I couldn't totally push him out of my mind) He text me back in March/April asking for me to please that I didnt' want any part of him then he'd go away. He textd me plans for the weekend asking if it was okay with me, and I went ahead with it. We took a little weekend trip.

We went to dinner on Friday night, and everything was great. He was extra charming in his little narcissistic way, trying to butter me up. For the entire time, he tried to make me think that he had somehow matured overnight, and was finally ready to give me what I wanted. Everything that came out of his mouth was what I've been wanted to hear from jumpstreeet. That conniving sonofagun was trying to play me again. lol I just looked and smiled because I couldn't believe the crap he was spewing. (I had been through this before) We did sleep in the same bed , but nothing happened. lol damn..that man is sexxay! lachen: He never tried either. lol (he knows I always said it was about sex, so he made sure to not try anything)

We went to breakfast in the morning, and then drove down to his land in the country. We really had a great time just enjoying each others company. When he drove me home, he said that he missed 'us', and that he really wanted to get back together. I told him that I'd let him know.

Okay. I was talking this through with a friend that was pissed that I even agreed to go. I realized that I had to do this for ME. Even though I felt like I had moved on, thoughts of him still lingered in my mind. After that trip, I realized that I did care about him, but not in the way that really counts. I told him that afterwards. I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't.

I thought he respected that, but I guess not. It's been 4/5 months later, and he still texts me. I haven't seen he dropped me home, and I stopped replying to him back then too. What is it? Am I going to have to change my number?

I finally replied today and told him that chapter in my life has closed. I've moved on. Please stop contacting me. This **** replies, "Life is a journey. The chapter can be reopened. I know I've made a mistake. I've been doing a lot of soul searching, and I know you're the person I want to settle down with." Um..what?? I didn't even reply. I'm trying to think if it's worth it to change my number. I would have thought he would have already moved on, but I guess this is what guys do until they break you down. What do you suggest I do? Hmm..I will say that sometimes I do think about the sex, and wanna tell him, 'aight come over for a sec!' It was that great! lol then, I think of what an *** he is, and that thought goes away real fast.

He's funny and persistent, but it's also a bit disrespectful. I mean him not respecting your choices. Although you did cave in a bit by going on the trip.
I wanted to say I wouldn't take the effort to change my number and if he can't be directed to voicemail once again. But I think it would be easier to change your number, because 16 months later he's still contacting you and you also seem to have the urge to cave in.

 

[Ediese]

If you want too. What I do is to just change the name attached to the number. I have had many ringing cellphone and I look and see F'in Bastid, Short Dyck, A-hole. They all gave me a chuckle and I know why I no longer need to speak to them or text them.

lol Yea, I never added him to my new phone. I might need to add one of those though, so I can always remember and never that'll certainly prevent me from EVER answering in the future. I know myself. I know that I won't ever contact him first. The thing is I just don't want to have a bad day one day, and lower my guard and reply to him.

 

[Keen]

I can see why he keep thinking he has another chance. You gave him a chance once, you'll probably do so again.

 

[southerncitygirl]

If your certain your done with him,than either change your number if he keeps being persistant,or put his calls straight to voice mail,permanently and ignore him,if you do the later,sooner or later,he will definately get the message and move on. How much fun can it be calling/texting some one who is obviously not interested nor responding to you??!! He will finally grasp the realization of NO CONTACT!!

^^^ agreeing with this, he's not so important that you need to change your cell number, eventually this a-hole will get that it is over! he keeps callimg with the hope he can wear you down or will catch you on a off day. then once he has you he'll be back to treating you the way he always has.

 

[Ediese]

I can see why he keep thinking he has another chance. You gave him a chance once, you'll probably do so again.

That was a long time ago though, and that was one chance to see whether or not we could work things out. It's not like it's a repeat offense on my part. This is just strange behavior for him. There's no way I'm going back. I did make that clear.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I think you will go back to him.

You fell for his tricks and went on that trip with him. You're thinking about him and the sex. Then there's this quote:

lol Yea, I never added him to my new phone. I might need to add one of those though, so I can always remember and never that'll certainly prevent me from EVER answering in the future. I know myself. I know that I won't ever contact him first. The thing is I just don't want to have a bad day one day, and lower my guard and reply to him.

When you're really DONE with someone, you wouldn't cave in, even on a bad day. I think you know that you're still on the fence with going back to this man. If you are, be honest with yourself that this man has a hold on you, and protect yourself by changing you number, or whatever else that would make it difficult for him to contact you. That way you'll be less apt to going back to him, or falling for his tricks.

This man is persistant, and long-winded. He can go a long time with this mess.

 

[Ediese]

I think you will go back to him.

You fell for his tricks and went on that trip with him. You're thinking about him and the sex. Then there's this quote:



When you're really DONE with someone, you wouldn't cave in, even on a bad day. I think you know that you're still on the fence with going back to this man. If you are, be honest with yourself that this man has a hold on you, and protect yourself by changing you number, or whatever else that would make it difficult for him to contact you. That way you'll be less apt to going back to him, or falling for his tricks.

This man is persistant, and long-winded. He can go a long time with this mess.

You're absolutely right.

 

[aribell]

I think you will go back to him.

You fell for his tricks and went on that trip with him. You're thinking about him and the sex.

Agreed. I don't know what you should do, but the op left me with the impression that you still want to be with him...at least somewhere deep down. But maybe your head is telling you that it's not a smart thing to do and so you're fighting it. (and maybe you should! But just know that your heart is working against you. The issue isn't really how to get him to stop contacting you, but figuring out why you might still entertain him.)

 

[AstroQueen77]

Don't bother changing your number because I don't think things are done with Paul. You are going to have to walk the fine line between seeing other people/exploring your options and seeing if Paul really grows (I don't think people change, I think people grow..become better versions of themselves).

Anyway, why is it that the jerks are always onpoint in bed? Is it because they are subconsciously compensating for their other relating skills?

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Depending on the phone you have, you can completely block his number so that his calls never even ring on your phone. I know you can do that with the Iphone, not sure about any other makes and models.

 

[LunadeMiel]

I say do whatever it takes to make sure you never go back to him (if this is what you truly want). I was in a similar situation back in 2008. I didn't change my number but I kept constant reminders (written down) of why he was bad for me. I also put my friends on alert so that they could check me in the event that I lost my mind again. I know it seems extra but I was SERIOUS

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

.........................................

 

[Kneechay]

Just pretend in your head that he has an incurable STD and you'll be fine

 

[Ltown]

If you change your number how many others important people and business you have to contact. It a pain to change a number especially if that your primary contact for everyone. I agree with others; block it, or ignore it. Beside if you/he had same friends or point of contact, and with internet he'll get the new number. But of course you have to do what comfortable for you.

 

[glamazon386]

Download a call block application to your phone and KIM. I don't change my phone number for anybody.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

I know you're over him, and your done with the BS. But you said it yourself, you've never tolerated so much BS from a guy in your life, and because of this darling he'll always have some 'emotional' hold on you. Yes, you're strong enough to say no. But for your own peace of mind, it's not healthy to even receive text messages from him. You're probs enjoying his plead (hell, I love it when they come crawling back) But to truly be over him... forget he exists. Block his number.. or change your number. Do whatever it takes to get rid off him!

You're a beautiful girl, and there are loads of men who would love to give you the world. This guy knows that whilst he was checking out rocks, he let a diamond go. And you were strong enough to realise your worth, and KIM.

I wish you the best, and know that no man is worth your tears... and the one that is wont make you cry.

 

[zzirvingj]

I don't know about this one. There are other forms of communication these days besides phone numbers...if you change it are you really never going to hear back from him again?

I believe it's you that has to change...until that happens, you can block facebook friends, stop checking emails and change phone numbers...but the thought and temptation of the person is still there. Deal with the connection and everything else will fall into place, I think. My 0.02.

 

[Ediese]

I swear I love y'all! I always get such wonderful advice in this section of the forum!

I'm working through my feelings for him. I know I'm finished and no longer interested, so I'm trying to get me as a whole to reach the same conclusion. In the meantime, I'm definitely staying away from him and totally refusing any type of contact.