Short Hair and Attractiveness

[HotCoCoGurl130]

Ok, I am in the process of transitioning but I think I will do the BIG CHOP soon(I will post pics of the NEW me when I get it done). My bf HATES short hair and says that a woman looks like a man when she has short hair. Do you think most men think like this? I think that short hair in no way make a woman look like a man unless the woman is lacking traditional feminine qualities. I hope that whn I get this done he is not in total shock but it is my head and my hair.

 

[itismehmmkay]

Hey CoCoGurl (it's fun saying that out loud).

I don't think most guys think this. Short hair can add alot of class and sex appeal to your look.......if you do it right

So if you're feeling a bit self-conscious, I'd say stock up on some more feminine accessories such as: cute earrings, bold lipsticks and other makeup, clothing pieces, etc. Sure, it may seem like you're trying to compensate, but who cares. Alot of times short hair gives you and others the chance to zone in on your other feminine qualities besides long hair.

I say go for it! Just make sure that you keep your hair neat and that attitude poppin....hot......mama!

-it is me

 

[HotCoCoGurl130]

Thanx it is me,

thats not it. i am comfortable that no one will perceive me as less feminine and if they do i do not care what they think its just that i know many guys who perceive short hair as less feminine unless the woman is dolled up all the time and looks like a run way model.

i am also concerned about how my bf will look at me. i know he loves me and he would not dump me over hair but he will take it personal because hes just like that.

at times i do think men are more sensitive then women.

 

[Chimma]

I do think that many black guys think that way - have no clue about nonblack guys. Either it is just me feeling more confident or it actually is a fact that when I wear my hair out I get more attention.

 

[kandyland]

I second what Chimma says about many black guys thinking that way. I personally think that some black guys are more critical of black women than any other race of men. They want us to have that long, silky, straight hair. Prime example, I tried to play cupid with a guy friend of mine, I was describing this girl, soon as I said she had a short hair cut, like a fade with curly top...he cut me off and said he wasn't interested, his next response was she couldn't possibly be that cute if she has a fade. I wanted to drop kick him......I mean look at Halle Berry...I seen her on Dave Letterman with Long hair and it didn't look right to me, her short hair does more for her, brings out her features......Anyway do da dang thing girl...As for your BF, the big chop may shock him but just contantly remind him that it will grow back, that's the beauty of it......

 

[simplycee]

I think u should never let a man (especially one your not married to) keep you from doing your own thing. If you want to do the big chop just do it! If you don't want to do it all at once do some now and some later, that could cushion the shock if you are worried about his reaction. Just remember it will always grow back! Good luck!

 

[Boadicea]

If you really want to do it, then he'll just have to get over it.

If you watch ANY TV (and even some in magazines) makeover, women are getting their hair sliced off more than ever. Short is being touted as the new "it style" of allure.

Not all of these cuts land neatly on the shoulders. A lot of the stylist do everything they can to persuade the women to have it cut shorter (and then a thousand-and-one layers are cut into it).

The seeming unattractiveness of women with short hair (be they black or not) started at the turn of the century (20th). Women traditionally kept their hair as long as possible, so men weren't used to seeing short hair women and were probably confused as for what to think.

The "Bob" haircut was named for men's hurtful attitude that a woman with short hair looked like a guy. So, as to name an anonymous guy, "Bob" was used (like when an unidentified body is found and they call it a John Doe, or Mr. Smith, etc.)

It's not as if you're a different person if you cut your hair. Though he may have an opinion on it, it's not the only one. And his certainly shouldn't count over your own. Don't wait until it gets longer if you don't want to.

 

[brittanynic16]

I kind of have the same issue with my bf. I won't see him for a while because I am in school and he is in the army. I wrote him to tell him that I was transitioning. I have not got a response from him to see what he thinks yet. But, I remember we talked a while back about what he thinks of short hair. He said he didn't care but i think he likes long hair. I told him becuase I love him but I could really care less if he likes it or not. This is my head not his. Either he loves me or not. He got all this hair cut for the military so he better not say nothing about my hair. Besides, when he sees the real me he will love me even more.

 

[DragonPearl]

I have come to believe it depends on the woman's attitude, because while it is safe to say that most men prefer longer hair on a woman, I've had plenty of positive experiences with men when I cut my hair short. I remember cutting my hair short many years ago in spite the fact that my bf warned me he hated short hair. After my haircut, I strutted my cut with style, I wore mascara, I felt freer and lighter, my bf ended up loving my short hair! I've had other experiences where I cut my hair short, wore no makeup, and didn't give a fig what men thought, and to my surprise, my androgynous look attracted quite a bit of admirers.
Morale of the story: Do your thang girl, and feel good about yourself!

 

[lthomas1]

I had a friend that had waist length hair for years. She decided to cut her hair and her husband would not talk to her for two weeks. He literally ignored her. I thought it was very rude. The hair is on her head not her husbands. She should be the only one that decided how she want it. I am trying to grow my hair, but I still think there are very beautiful short styles.

 

[PrettyOne]

I say do what makes you happy. As for men, every man I know, regardless of race, love love love long hair. Most guys I know say long hair on women they date or marry is a preference.

 

[Shinka]

My boyfriend hates short hair. He was mad when I cut it off, then he was mad when I cut it again. He'll get over it...once he gets used to it. Especially when he'll see the attention you'll get from other men.

 

[HairFanatic01]

Hmmmmmm...... I have to play the devil's advocate here.
On one hand, short hair can equal individuality, a great change, beauty, a height in self-esteem and something that brings the good qualities out. But on the other hand, short hair could equal a disaster, bad-look, plunge in self-esteem, and something not for you. To be perfectly honest its all about preference. Although we as women love looking good for our men, a lot of times its not just about them, but also what we want. If the purpose of you cutting your hair is more significant than just a trend, then I say do it! But if its not then weigh your options and see what works best for *you* and *you* ONLY!!!

 

[CocoaCure]

I can tell you pretty much for certain that YES Black men DO PREFER LONG HAIR!!! Without a doubt! Why am I so sure..........I DID the big chop when I went natural four years ago. I stayed natural for 3 years and loved it. HOWEVER, when I did the big chop I was CONSTANTLY told, "Wow your hair looks pretty to be so short", or "You know, I usually think women with short hair are lesbians or manly, but you're not, you're really feminine", etc. When it was short, I was NEVER just given a regular ole everyday compliment, it was always prefaced with a "For a chick with hair so short, it really looks good on you, etc.". It was like telling me I'm an exception. It's really sort of a back-handed compliment. I can't even tell you how many times I heard the gay thing from people and even my friends were like, "well do you have to go sooooo short??? People are going to think you're gay! (It was about like Shari Belafonte's hair used to be.) So me with my paranoid self, I went out and bought a bunch of cute little neck scarves and always had on cute earrings - anything to enhance my feminity. Looking back I was wearing alot of skirts with strappy black high heeled sandals (it was summmertime.) So yes, if you're going to do the big chop be prepared for all the silliness and ignorance that you'll no doubt be faced with! Next time I go natural I'm definitely going to transition and keep my length! That's another thing, my hair was a good length before I did the big chop, so everyone thought I was crazy for cutting it all off! A lot of drama came with that haircut!!

 

[aqualung]

HotCoCoGurl130,

What's your motivation to quit transitioning and chop?

Nevermind the boyfriend. It sounds like you've got a lot of personal reservations about cutting your hair. You wonder how it'll affect your public perception.

When my little sister transitioned and chopped, she KNEW she was cute. Couldn't nobody tell her nothin'. But if YOU prefer longer hair on YOU, then DO NOT CHOP. Transition longer with braids or press & curls or protective styles such that there's not a short phase. Your bun styles look fine to me. If it aint broke...

Before you step out into the unknown, convince yourself that you'd be comfortable with the worst case scenario: a shorter hairstyle that you personally dislike and a regretful boyfriend.

 

[HotCoCoGurl130]

Megonw, I do not have any reservations about cutting my hair. I just through the question out there to see what other ppl thought about men liking women with short hair. I know my bf does not like short hair but he will love me regardless so that is not an issue for me at all. And when my bf met me i had short hair so thats not the case and if i really dont like it which i think i will like my hair i will just get a weave, lol.

 

[diamondlady]

Question-Are women less attractive with short hair? Answer-NO. Look at Halle Berry, is she less attractive with short hair? Answer - No, again.

Do women look masculine with short hair? Depends on the woman. I believe most men like women with long hair, but I always say, they don't have to take care of it. It's easy for them to like it.

Anyway, do what you like for you.

 

[brittanynic16]

If you care cute enough you could be bald headed.LOL

 

[missykeyana]

Think about it long and hard...do you really want to go through all that drama with your bf? I big chopped this past March, and the only thing I regret about it is that I had to go through all that drama with him. It made my life a little bit harder. So if you're willing to go through all that drama, go ahead. (But otherwise it was worth it, my twa was bangin' if I say so myself!)

 

[HotCoCoGurl130]

There will be no drama from my bf. He knows I am an independent woman who does not ask him for permission for anything I do. He also knows I am spontanteous and I do stuff on a whim(sp). And if my chance he were the type of person to argue with me over some dumb stuff like my hair then he doesnt need to be with me anyway b/c I think for a man to be so hung up on hair that he would argue with you or break up with me is so immature.

 

[brittanynic16]

[ QUOTE ]
HotCoCoGurl130 said:
There will be no drama from my bf. He knows I am an independent woman who does not ask him for permission for anything I do. He also knows I am spontanteous and I do stuff on a whim(sp). And if my chance he were the type of person to argue with me over some dumb stuff like my hair then he doesnt need to be with me anyway b/c I think for a man to be so hung up on hair that he would argue with you or break up with me is so immature.

[/ QUOTE ]

Totally!

 

[frankie]

I have pretty much kept a short hair cut since the age of 13. Loved every last one of them. I think it did a lot for my self esteem because I automatically stood out. Most teenage girls and young ladies...that I know...want longer hair...I on the other hand kept going shorter and shorter. Did I get less attention from the guys...No...cause I looked good

.

My decision to grow out my hair this time has a lot to do with looking for a change. Every hair decision I've made has been a personal one...do what's right for you and everyone else will have to deal with it.

I have personally been told by a guy friend that I should stop cutting my hair because men like women with longer hair...I told him...men like me just fine with my short hair! Hair might effect the initial attraction a man has to a woman, but what's inside the head will keep them interested.

 

[HotCoCoGurl130]

[ QUOTE ]
frankie said:
but what's inside the head will keep them interested.

[/ QUOTE ]

I do believe that!!!