She said my daughter would go bald...

[tthreat08]

Okay,

So I was at a superbowl party yesterday, and I mentioned to someone at the party that I had put a texturizer on my 7 year-old's hair back in September. She is a hairdresser and gasped saying taht I shouldn't have done it etc. I know others who feel this way, but I had to do what I had to do. The girl was screaming to high heaven everyday, and I was ripping out more hair trying to part through it than it was doing good to avoid the chemical. She is wastelength and believe me it aint fun. In my opinion she is just one of those people who can benefit froma texturizer in terms of making her quality of life greater....(she's in my album if you want to see). Anyway...
I told the person that it was just a texturizer, and her hair was not bone straight. It was only broken down enough to be able to part through and create at least two ponytails instead of the zillion I normally had to do because her hair was just too thick. I told her that I only touch it up evry four months or so because the line of demarcation isn't that noticeable because her hair still has it's curl pattern. SHe gasped and said that my daughters hair was gonna fall out (break where the weaker hair meets the stronger hair).

Here is my question/comment:
I do understand the science behind why this could potentially happen. BUT is that absolute? AND does the liklihood of this happening more depend on the difference between the two textures (texturized vs. natural)?

BTW, as of right now her hair is still thriving with no problem. She has had the texturizer for 4 months.

 

[MiWay]

I don't have an answer to your question, but your little girls and their hair are beautiful!

I think with any chemical service there's a chance of something bad happening, but I really think it's all about how you take care of it. With everything I'm sure you've learned on LHCF, I'm sure you will be extra careful. My mother had to put a relaxer in my sister's hair when she was about 7 because it was so thick we couldn't comb it and she cried like nobody's business. Actually, I think it helped her hair, and she only does it like every 6 months.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I don't think she'll go "bald", some pple just don't know what to say. There is a difference in natural and texurized, one is chemically processed and the other is not. Now you can have damaged natural hair as well as damaged texturized/relaxed hair, the key is giving your hair the proper care it needs so that it can thrive. I'm relaxed Bone str8, and I don't have a problem doing my 4 month stretch at all, the demacration line for me is not a big deal. Especially w/all the DC and moisturizing poo's and products I use my hair is doing marvelous, as well as my daughters.

 

[tthreat08]

Your comments are bringing ease to my mind. I have patiently taken care of both my daughters hair, and I don't want it breaking. Although I can see with my own eyes that her hair is just fine, I started double guessing my decision to texturize.

 

[scorpian]

If your little girls hair is long and healthy before and after the texturizer then you must be doing something right everyone will have something different to say especially when it comes to chemicals and kids but in the end it's you who has to deal with styling her hair on a daily basis and if you found a way to ease her pain and still keep her hair healthy then be good with that and take what that lady said with a grain of salt

 

[Miss*Tress]

While the person may be right to warn you about the potential dangers of chemicals, there was no need to be alarmist. Trust your instincts - from what I can see you're doing a great job. You and your daughters are beautiful.

 

[karezone]

As long as you take good care of your daughters hair. Washing, conditioning, moisturizing, etc.. It should be fine,

 

[Enchantmt]

As long as you take good care of your daughters hair. Washing, conditioning, moisturizing, etc.. It should be fine,

I agree. Also I had a niece who had hair down to her waist when she was growing up. It was tybe 2/3 hair but T H I C K and tangled easily. After her older brother and his wife got custody of her it was such an ordeal to get her hair done that she grew to hate her hair. As soon as she turned 18 she cut it all off. You want her hair to be a joy, not a chore. I agree with the poster who said if it improves your quality of life, go for it.

 

[beyondcute]

I dont know... 7 is really young for chemicals. I just dont think its worth it. She has only had the texturizer for 4 months. Now she has to continue to get them done or risk her hair breaking at the line of demarcation. On top of that just HAVING to get her hair chemically processed... I dont know.

Yes when I was younger I hated getting my hair done. WHen I did get a relaxer at age 14 my hair slowly started to break off. No not all at one time but by the time I got to high school it went from waist/midback to barely shoulder. Trust me no child likes to sit still while thier mom does thier hair, especially if the mom thinks its a chore. And trust me I hated helping mom with her 'chores' especially when she was frustrated at my hair and it ended up being taken out on me.

To tell the truth I dont know any little girl that LIKES getting her hair done. We learn from an early age that our hair is too time consuming and too much to deal with.

Okay enough babbling, I think she is too young for it.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Most stylists say this becasuse they feel only professionals should texturize, relax, or color hair. I think you are doing yourself a favor by texturizing her hair. As long as you know what you're doing, don't worry.

 

[Poohbear]

Here is my question/comment:
I do understand the science behind why this could potentially happen. BUT is that absolute? AND does the liklihood of this happening more depend on the difference between the two textures (texturized vs. natural)?

BTW, as of right now her hair is still thriving with no problem. She has had the texturizer for 4 months.

I wouldn't say it's absolute because it depends on so many other factors... the thickness of your daughter's hair, how you take care of her hair when there's a lot of new growth, how often you comb/brush her hair, etc. If you want to take this approach of relaxing every 4 months, make sure you properly moisturize her hair and avoid excessive combing and styling. HTH! Since she hasn't had any problems (yet), then you must be doing the right thing as far as taking care of her texturized hair.

In my opinion she is just one of those people who can benefit froma texturizer in terms of making her quality of life greater.

I would have to disagree with this statement... she could have a greater quality of life regardless of her hair being texturized or not... unless I'm misunderstanding your opinion, please clarify if so.

 

[rmwms]

I've been using a texturizer in my daughter's hair since she was 7 (she'll be 9 next month). Her hair is extremly thick and long. The process of washing and styling it would take hours. I would actually take a coffee break to get my nerves together. I feel your pain. I have had NO problems since I put the texturizer in her hair . As long as you take goood care of it you should not have any problems.

 

[tthreat08]

I dont know... 7 is really young for chemicals. I just dont think its worth it. She has only had the texturizer for 4 months. Now she has to continue to get them done or risk her hair breaking at the line of demarcation. On top of that just HAVING to get her hair chemically processed... I dont know.

Yes when I was younger I hated getting my hair done. WHen I did get a relaxer at age 14 my hair slowly started to break off. No not all at one time but by the time I got to high school it went from waist/midback to barely shoulder. Trust me no child likes to sit still while thier mom does thier hair, especially if the mom thinks its a chore. And trust me I hated helping mom with her 'chores' especially when she was frustrated at my hair and it ended up being taken out on me.

To tell the truth I dont know any little girl that LIKES getting her hair done. We learn from an early age that our hair is too time consuming and too much to deal with.

Okay enough babbling, I think she is too young for it.

I appreciate your opinion. In all honesty, I really don't approach combing their hair in a negative way. They really enjoy the outcome. They want to be pretty. My youngest has a totally different texture and actually does enjoy getting her hair combed. I really battled over the decision for a long time. It is very painful for her (and me) without the texturizer. This was the best option for us. My issue was more retouching only every 4-6 months.

 

[tthreat08]

I wouldn't say it's absolute because it depends on so many other factors... the thickness of your daughter's hair, how you take care of her hair when there's a lot of new growth, how often you comb/brush her hair, etc. If you want to take this approach of relaxing every 4 months, make sure you properly moisturize her hair and avoid excessive combing and styling. HTH! Since she hasn't had any problems (yet), then you must be doing the right thing as far as taking care of her texturized hair.


I would have to disagree with this statement... she could have a greater quality of life regardless of her hair being texturized or not... unless I'm misunderstanding your opinion, please clarify if so.

I was just referring to the pain she endure when I comb her hair. She is much happier when I comb it now.

 

[Poohbear]

I was just referring to the pain she endure when I comb her hair. She is much happier when I comb it now.

okie dokie.

 

[neonbright]

I will go off of my first hair experience. I was 6 when I got my first relaxer (perm at that time) I am over 30 now. I never went bald, infact my hair grew longer, plus it was common practive to do a touch every 8 weeks or longer. But my mom wanted to let my hair have a rest between touch ups. All of my female cousins had their first relaxers no later than 8 and they never went bald, only one stop getting hers, cut it off and went natural and now texterizes now, and she is 20 something.

As for present day, my daughter has very baby soft, puffy, curly hair. It never changed from the baby hair, it seems to me. When comb her hair used to look great until she would sweat, play hard and puff up and draw alot of lent. So I took her to my hair dresser and she just gave her a texterizer a few months ago, she is 5 and her hair is going longer faster, thicker and looks alot better. Look at her hair she is in the advatar.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

Everyone has their opinion about if she is too young. But that is the mothers decision...no one else has to spend 4hours combing a childs hair every day. It is your duty however to make sure you apply it as comfortably as possible for her. My 4yr old niece has some tough hair and I understood when my sister relaxed her hair. She did it 1yr ago and she has not done it again... Anyways, for your daughter... the stylist reacted based on what she was taught...this misinformation was passed down from a teacher who teaches stylists how to maximize their earnings....so keep that in mind. They react like that because they are taught that you must get the customer into their shop every 6weeks for a relaxer and the only way to do that is to SCARE them into coming. If your daughters hair was going to fall out and become bald then it owuldn't happen overnight...you'd already see the signs of massive amounts of hair breaking off right at the demarcation line. I believe the demarc line indeed is the weakest part of the hair, but truth be told I get my hair relaxed every 4 months and my hair never breaks at the line, my hair more than likely break at the ends. So anyways.... Nobody knows your daughters hair like you since you wrestle with it everyday. You know more than that stylist so don';t think twice about her. If you need more info, please check out Cathy Howse's website, she talks about this. She has brastrap length hair and half of it is relaxed and the roots half is natural because she is transitioning. She understands the demarc line, but as long as you be gentle during washing/drying and you properly moisturize then you won't have any issues. I'd also recommend for you to stretch her relaxers even longer, since you aren't in pursuit of bonestraight hair. U can use a blowdryer to straighten her roots and stretch longer. Well i'm rambling i hope you've found comfort in everyones responses....

 

[Lovelylocs]

Tthreat08, is this some sort of trick to get us all to see your daughters' gorgeous hair?!? I am relaxed and I dont have any kids, but when I do I hope that their hair looks just as good as your babies!

Don't listen to the hairdresser. I agree with DDtexlaxed. That is just what hairdressers say. If it ain't broke, dont try to fix it, right? Hairdressers are always giving bad haircare advice for adults. It is probably the same for children.

Would u mind sharing their regimen with us? I want to pass it along for my niece's hair.

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

I don't think she'll go "bald", some pple just don't know what to say. There is a difference in natural and texurized, one is chemically processed and the other is not. Now you can have damaged natural hair as well as damaged texturized/relaxed hair, the key is giving your hair the proper care it needs so that it can thrive. I'm relaxed Bone str8, and I don't have a problem doing my 4 month stretch at all, the demacration line for me is not a big deal. Especially w/all the DC and moisturizing poo's and products I use my hair is doing marvelous, as well as my daughters.

A texturizer is a chemical too! LOL what else would change the texture of someone's hair but a chemical?

When I was little getting my hair combed was TORTURE (I'm talking needing asprin torture) and at some point my mother gave me a "mild relaxer" say once a year or something lol. Eventually my hair started to break off big time and I never got one again after junior high.

It's SOOO much easier to comb/detangle my hair now and it's the same stuff as when I was little. I got that "for colored girls" book in high school and learned all about detangling (i.e. use your fingers as much as possible, etc.) and realized how much unnecessary torture I had when I was little lol. NOW it's even easier. I know what to do if I ever have girls.

 

[OnPoint]

I think that if you have been taking such good care of their hair that it is at natural waist length-which I think is a great accomplishment- You can take care of their hair with a texturizer. When it comes to hair care , you know what you are doing-so don't worry.

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

More than likely she won't go bald, but 7 is too young, IMO, to introduce chemical processes. Children are not mini-adults and whether it's texturized or relaxed bone-straight, it's still a chemical and not recommended for a child. We do so many things to our children that really make our lives easier rather than our child's lives.

Trust me; I'm not just saying this. When my daughter was 4, I was having the hardest time with her hair. That's when I got on the internet. Because I did NOT want to put chemicals on her hair. I found the hairboards - first it was growafrohairlong which explained how to detangle natural hair with hardly any pain. I did that and wonder of wonders, it WORKED. But it required patience on both our parts - not easy getting that from a 4-year old.

Finding the hairboards renewed my resolve NOT to destroy her hair with chemicals (destroy in the sense that the original protein bond is broken) and inspired me to go natural myself. I don't hate relaxers; I just won't be a party to damaging her hair (damage in the sense that it is not in its original state). As my husband says (he's a molecular microbiologist) - health before beauty and that includes the health of your hair (health referring to the fact that there is nothing whatsover wrong with the natural state of your hair so why put something on it that will destroy/damage it).

JMO.

 

[Healthb4Length]

First off let me say that both your daughters have beautiful heads of hair! I have mixed feelings because I feel that putting chemicals on any child under 12's hair can be potentially harmful...however, after viewing your album and seeing all that hair that your daughter has, I kinda see that you had to do what you had to do! That's a lot of hair! I can just imagine the HOURS of washing, styling and tears and frustration you had to go through. As long as you know how to properly manage this child's hair, which is apparent that you do, then I say go for it!

 

[dlewis]

I've been texturizing my daughter hair for over a year and she's 5 years old. Her hair is long and healthy, I only leave the perm in her hair for only 3 to 5 mins every 3 to 4 months. Her hair was soooo curly that I decided she need it.

 

[tthreat08]

First off let me say that both your daughters have beautiful heads of hair! I have mixed feelings because I feel that putting chemicals on any child under 12's hair can be potentially harmful...however, after viewing your album and seeing all that hair that your daughter has, I kinda see that you had to do what you had to do! That's a lot of hair! I can just imagine the HOURS of washing, styling and tears and frustration you had to go through. As long as you know how to properly manage this child's hair, which is apparent that you do, then I say go for it!

Thank you! I had no idea this would be such a controversial topic, but it's good to hear the differing points of view. Believe me, I labored over the decision for many moons. I myself have never had a relaxer, and my parents didn't believe in them. My hair has always been very manageable. Even my mother suggested I texturize my daughter's it after having to comb my daughters hair once. I refused. I stood my ground....then there was that last time when my daughter was 2 inches off the floor from me detangling (and yes I'm patient, yes I take my time, yes I detangle with my fingers, yes yes yes yes yes yes ....all the wonderful suggestions and comments )....but shoot ya'll I REALLY had to "do what I had to do!" I take care of her hair, and the curl pattern is relaxed only just enough to make it easier for us all.
This is why I can stretch for so long.

 

[tthreat08]

I've been texturizing my daughter hair for over a year and she's 5 years old. Her hair is long and healthy, I only leave the perm in her hair for only 3 to 5 mins every 3 to 4 months. Her hair was soooo curly that I decided she need it.

I feel you! Judging from your BE-A-U-TI-FUL locks!.....I'm sure you take excellent care of it!

 

[baglady215]

Wow, you and your daughter's have beautiful hair. Like you said, you have to do what you have to do. Everybody can voice their opinion, but you are her mother and you have to do what's best for you and your daughter. Kinda makes me glad I had my rockhead boy and not the girl I really wanted.