Setback vent

[browneyedgrl]

It's been a couple of weeks since I had a major setback and it's only now that I'm feeling able to talk about it without being upset. A few wks ago I had my stylist do my touch up. She's one of those that does pretty good work and I've come to trust her and her judgement when it comes to my hair. My hair was also thick and relatively healthy. I don't know what went wrong that day but the damage wasn't evident until a week later when I noticed SEVERE breakage and sections at the crown that had broken to close to 1 inch!! Unfortunately since I let my guard down and got too comfortable with her I wasn't watching her. I was tired and napping through the process so I really don't know if it was over processing or poor neutralizing that caused this.

Unfortunately because I was out of town I wasn't able to confront her at the shop when I realized the damage. I wanted to call but I felt that she would deny responsibility and blame me since she can't see me in person. I'm at a point now where I am trying to decide whether I should do a cut to shoulder length and start over or just try to baby my damaged sections with growth aides so they can catch up. I'm also seriously contemplating going back to self relaxing. If I'm going to screw up my hair I may as well do it myself for free.

Right now I've ceased all heat until further notice and since it's hot i'm just cowashing/bunning until I can make a decision on how to go about this.

 

[genesislocks]

Awww don't feel bad!

I'd suggest babying your ends for awhile and just trying to salvage some length. Has the breakage slowed down since you noticed it?

 

[MileHighDiva]

OP, I'm sorry this happened to you! You stated, "I really don't know if it was over processing or poor neutralizing that caused this." Do you have a neutralizing poo at home that you can wash with, before you start your co-washing regimen?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Do you mean an inch broke off or the hair broke off and is now only 1 inch long?

I think you should attempt to keep your length if you can hide the shorter pieces. It can definitely be done. My mom told me this week that a friend of my sister has bald patches (years of weaving) but it's well hidden under her various updo styles.

I'm over salons at this point. I had a crappy experience today in fact and ended up trimming my own hair.

 

[Saludable84]

Interesting.

This is the the exact scenario I had a year and a half ago that started my journey. I had my stylist relax my hair, though in the 4 years I went to her, I only let her relax once. She told me that I was the reason my hair was breaking though it started breaking after I let her relax my hair. Within a month my crown was barely 2" from my scalp. It would have kept breaking had I no invested in a hard protein treatment. Not sure if I needed to neutralize, but it had already been a month so the protein helped. I debated cutting, but I was able to hide my hair in buns in the meanwhile. I'm actually still hiding my hair in bun. My crown is currently touching SL. Compared to hair that is BSL.

It's discouraging. I wanted to slap my old stylist in the face so hard she'd land in a jar of creamy crack herself, but I figured losing a good customer was better. At the end of the day, I realized she took advantage of my faith in her and thought that would keep me coming back to figure out the problem.

I don't think you should cut, just nurse it back to health. And if you do not decide to cut, make protein your BFF for a while. Last be extremely patient.

Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together

 

[yaya24]

Sorry this happened to you!
I remember when I let my friend do my relaxer (pre-HHJ) and I had the exact.same .thing happen in a section of my hair.

Its like the previously relaxed hair burnt off and died somewhere during the touch-up process. I was left with like an inch of relaxed NewGrowth in a section of my crown.

I was soooooo angry at my friend.

You should talk to your stylist about your concerns and let her know why she will be losing you as a client. It is always nice to address and resolve conflict, it will help with you getting over it.

TLC and it'll grow back. Setbacks suck.

 

[MzSwift]

Aww ((BIG HUG))

It sounds like you're on the right track by babying it while bunning. IA with the other poster about ensuring that you get a good protein tx.

 

[Froreal3]

Damn, I'm sorry this happened to you. That is terrible! I would go back to self relaxing if I were you. Anyway, I don't think you necessarily have to cut. Just bun and baby your hair until it gets back on the right track.

 

[browneyedgrl]

Awww don't feel bad!

I'd suggest babying your ends for awhile and just trying to salvage some length. Has the breakage slowed down since you noticed it?

Yeah, thankfully the breakage has stopped. I started using apogee reconstructor (not the 2 step) and so far my hair loss is back to normal levels.

OP, I'm sorry this happened to you! You stated, "I really don't know if it was over processing or poor neutralizing that caused this." Do you have a neutralizing poo at home that you can wash with, before you start your co-washing regimen?

Unfortunately everything happened so fast a couple of weeks ago, plus I had to leave the country so I had to settle for regular shampoo.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Do you mean an inch broke off or the hair broke off and is now only 1 inch long?

I think you should attempt to keep your length if you can hide the shorter pieces. It can definitely be done. My mom told me this week that a friend of my sister has bald patches (years of weaving) but it's well hidden under her various updo styles.

I'm over salons at this point. I had a crappy experience today in fact and ended up trimming my own hair.

Several sections at the back of the crown have broken to 1 inch. Otherwise the rest of my hair is mid back. It looks as if the hair broke directly where the new growth met the relaxed hair. I can disguise it but just knowing its there all damaged like that disgusts me. I'm pretty much over salons too. I'm now back to being my own kitchen beautician.

Interesting.

This is the the exact scenario I had a year and a half ago that started my journey. I had my stylist relax my hair, though in the 4 years I went to her, I only let her relax once. She told me that I was the reason my hair was breaking though it started breaking after I let her relax my hair. Within a month my crown was barely 2" from my scalp. It would have kept breaking had I no invested in a hard protein treatment. Not sure if I needed to neutralize, but it had already been a month so the protein helped. I debated cutting, but I was able to hide my hair in buns in the meanwhile. I'm actually still hiding my hair in bun. My crown is currently touching SL. Compared to hair that is BSL.

It's discouraging. I wanted to slap my old stylist in the face so hard she'd land in a jar of creamy crack herself, but I figured losing a good customer was better. At the end of the day, I realized she took advantage of my faith in her and thought that would keep me coming back to figure out the problem.

I don't think you should cut, just nurse it back to health. And if you do not decide to cut, make protein your BFF for a while. Last be extremely patient.

Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together

Did you ever confront her? That's another thing I'm struggling with right now. She deserves to hear an earful from me but I'm too chicken.

Sorry this happened to you!
I remember when I let my friend do my relaxer (pre-HHJ) and I had the exact.same .thing happen in a section of my hair.

Its like the previously relaxed hair burnt off and died somewhere during the touch-up process. I was left with like an inch of relaxed NewGrowth in a section of my crown.

I was soooooo angry at my friend.

You should talk to your stylist about your concerns and let her know why she will be losing you as a client. It is always nice to address and resolve conflict, it will help with you getting over it.

TLC and it'll grow back. Setbacks suck.

Thanks. Since so much time has passed I'm afraid she'll try to duck responsibility.

Aww ((BIG HUG))

It sounds like you're on the right track by babying it while bunning. IA with the other poster about ensuring that you get a good protein tx.

So far apogee has helped tremendously followed by keracare humecto.

Damn, I'm sorry this happened to you. That is terrible! I would go back to self relaxing if I were you. Anyway, I don't think you necessarily have to cut. Just bun and baby your hair until it gets back on the right track.

I'm going to spend today watching some relaxing tutorials on YouTube. I mean I used to do them in the past but I think I need a refresher course lol.





You all made me feel a little better. I think i'll hold off on cutting for now. A big thank you to all of you

 

[havilland]

i have had this happen at the hand of a stylist too.....back in the day.....i had to stop a stylist one time and rinse my own darn relaxer and neutralize it myself. at that point i stopped major all over damage but it was too late for my crown.

anyways, i would give myself a good "trim" to get all the ends healthy and strong. then i would step up cowashing and deep conditioning with protein and moisture alternating each weekly. this has always worked for me in the past.

i am not a big fan of chopping off hair unless it is extremely damaged all over and can't be hidden in a bun......

OH! and no more stylists!

 

[*SkolarStar*]

You'll get through this. I remember when I was relaxed, I left the salon with my hair breaking. I knew something was wrong because that's when I became interested in hair care so I knew better. I was a lurker on lhcf and learned that neutralizer shampoo should sit for at least 5 minutes. I went home, washed my hair and did just that and the breaking stopped immediately.

Even though you caught it s week later, at least more damage didn't happen. You knew something was wrong.

 

[mshoneyfly]

Attention: Occasional Salon Visitors

I have a theory that stylists resent you when you don't rely on them for ALL your haircare needs. As far as they are concerned, you don't deserve the best service they can possibly give bc you don't come often enough!

The deal is; you depend on them for haircare and they depend on you for a STEADY STREAM OF INCOME!!

When I used to go to a stylist, after she dried it, there would be little broken hairs and flakes all over the cape and she didn't do or suggest anything to correct those issues. Stylists have been trained to provide the services that generate income. They are not really interested in repairing and growing our hair!!

It can be more convenient and save a lot of time but are salons really worth the emotional distress??

 

[browneyedgrl]

The thing is she previously did satisfactory relaxers on my hair and that's why I stopped doing them on my own and went to her regularly. What the heck happened that day??? She's never burned me and gave good advice in the past. I even tip her well...why sabotage me? I'm sure she saw lots of hair coming off in the drain. I'm hurt that she went on as if everything was fine.

Strange side note....someone told me this old wives tale about how you shouldn't relax while you are on your period. I was on my period that day so who knows.

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

As others have said, I'd baby the hair and use protective styles. I'd also lay off the relaxers for a while.

This very thing happened to me once. For a touch -up and the very next day I was at a play and the back of my hair was itching like crazy. During intermission I went to the ladies room, pulled out my compact to inspect the back of my hair. I had a broken off spot that was about 3/4 inch long. I called the stylist right then and there about the breakage and she said "yeah, I noticed it when you were here. What are you doing to it at home?" Um nothing!!!! I was a weekly salon goer at the time.

Baby it and take care of it. It will be back in no time. If it makes you feel better, you should call the stylist and let her know why you won't be back