Self Esteem

[Rei]

Man this may just be me, but for some reason, I find that when my hair isn't done, I can't find the effort to wear nice things, or put on makeup or anything like that. I'm transitioning, and its sort of just..."why bother, my hair looks boring/jacked anyway"

Has anyone else felt this way?

I don't want to relax, because i'm curious about what my natural hair will look like plus i'm a year into transitioning, but man am I sick of going through a year of basically having a bad hair day. :X i look at you transitioners who can do a bun with envy. my hair shrinks too much for that to look even remotely decent

Its making me a bit depressed

maybe I just needed to vent

 

[Irresistible]

Man this may just be me, but for some reason, I find that when my hair isn't done, I can't find the effort to wear nice things, or put on makeup or anything like that. I'm transitioning, and its sort of just..."why bother, my hair looks boring/jacked anyway"

Has anyone else felt this way?

I don't want to relax, because i'm curious about what my natural hair will look like plus i'm a year into transitioning, but man am I sick of going through a year of basically having a bad hair day. :X i look at you transitioners who can do a bun with envy. my hair shrinks too much for that to look even remotely decent

Its making me a bit depressed

maybe I just needed to vent

I totally relate! however my hair feels or looks influences alot of what I will wear and how I FEEL etc!

I have to learn to appreciate the bun more and with posts like this it reminds me, but trust me, you will get there girl!

 

[ttlayli]

Wow I am the same way. Recently I have started bunning and I actually felt that I looked kinda, um, oogley. I'm used to wearing my hair down or at least a cute bun. My new bun (the one that's better and working for me) is really snug, so that it looks small. I actually asked my mother if my hair looked ugly and she gave me a look like , and told me it was cute. I still didn't feel better though, so I put on a little gloss and put my big hoop earrings. Instantly I felt better!! Wearing my hair down, im used to hiding almost. With my hair pulled back, I'm exposed, so if you arent used to it, it can be difficult. So I am now making it my mission to pick on a lil gloss, mascera, and some jewelry to balance it out. It does work trust me. I know hair is our crowning glory, but there is no sense in us messing up our self esteem over it, you know??

 

[Irresistible]

Wow I am the same way. Recently I have started bunning and I actually felt that I looked kinda, um, oogley. I'm used to wearing my hair down or at least a cute bun. My new bun (the one that's better and working for me) is really snug, so that it looks small. I actually asked my mother if my hair looked ugly and she gave me a look like , and told me it was cute. I still didn't feel better though, so I put on a little gloss and put my big hoop earrings. Instantly I felt better!! Wearing my hair down, im used to hiding almost. With my hair pulled back, I'm exposed, so if you arent used to it, it can be difficult. So I am now making it my mission to pick on a lil gloss, mascera, and some jewelry to balance it out. It does work trust me. I know hair is our crowning glory, but there is no sense in us messing up our self esteem over it, you know??

Girl your so right, sometimes you just wanna feel grown and sexy and protective styles just get so ugh! and to get another look is WORK , double ugh!

 

[shetara20]

U are not the only one!!!! Trust me!!! When my hair isnt dun i kinda feel bummy and my self esteem goes down drastically. Theres something about gettin ur hair dun just gives us that inner confidence and glow!!!!

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

Girl your so right, sometimes you just wanna feel grown and sexy and protective styles just get so ugh! and to get another look is WORK , double ugh!

Totally feelin' you. I'm actually thinking of cutting my hair or growing sisterlocks so that I can have style every day. I feel like I've been wearing a bun my whole life (seriously)and something has got to change.

 

[Mandy4610]

Man this may just be me, but for some reason, I find that when my hair isn't done, I can't find the effort to wear nice things, or put on makeup or anything like that. I'm transitioning, and its sort of just..."why bother, my hair looks boring/jacked anyway"

Has anyone else felt this way?

I don't want to relax, because i'm curious about what my natural hair will look like plus i'm a year into transitioning, but man am I sick of going through a year of basically having a bad hair day. :X i look at you transitioners who can do a bun with envy. my hair shrinks too much for that to look even remotely decent

Its making me a bit depressed

maybe I just needed to vent

Have you considered BCing? Maybe thats what you need (just a suggestion. If you BC when you are not ready that could give you other issues as well, I know I BCed too early) but maybe starting new might give you some excitement. Exploring with your newly natural head is not boring by any means, you just have to be mentally ready for the journey. I never transitioned and sometimes I wish I had. If you have been transitioning for a yr you probably have enough hair to work with if you BC. Just a suggestion.

 

[TLC1020]

I feel you guys, when my hair is in a bun I feel same way.. Even though protective style is very protective and I achieve healthy hair & great length, there is another side...

 

[Poohbear]

Rei, have you tried wearing braidouts or rollersets?

 

[xxBlackRosexx]

How about braids whilst you transition?

 

[RegaLady]

I feel you guys, when my hair is in a bun I feel same way.. Even though protective style is very protective and I achieve healthy hair & great length, there is another side...

Great way to look at it! I am in PS(braids) and I can tell u they look pretty blah. But I had to work around it, and like someone posted earlier I had to make it work for me. So, I wore make up, put on cute earings, and nice clothes, and I swear I stand out! I am getting away from letting a hairstyle define me, like I am so used to. So, believe me, I can feel out of my comfort zone. Maybe when you wear a PS, twist it around and make it you, but a more glamorous you!

 

[~*Tigget*~]

I used to be a big WIG wearer, however even that gets old. And I got tired of explaining why I am wearing a wig. No I don't have cancer, and no my hair didn't fall out....uuuugh

I have a phony bun on now, and I love it. I think its sexy, AS LONG, as I have my makeup & jewlery on. At work it seems more professional to me.

 

[locabouthair]

aww, I feel the same way. When my hair is a mess, I dont even want to leave my house, thats how bad I feel. I can't do a bun either (never have) so I understand how you feel. When I transitioned I wore braids.

 

[TrendySocialite]

I do feel the same way as well. So I do have to make sure I put effort into how I look. Honestly, some days when I feel I look the worst, I get the most play.

I think it's important to find a style or two that you can on those days you need to perk up your look. Then you need to find a "I feel good" outfit and keep yourself mentally and spiritually fit. That will allow your inner beauty to shine through and make you feel and look beautiful.

 

[Rei]

Have you considered BCing? Maybe thats what you need (just a suggestion. If you BC when you are not ready that could give you other issues as well, I know I BCed too early) but maybe starting new might give you some excitement. Exploring with your newly natural head is not boring by any means, you just have to be mentally ready for the journey. I never transitioned and sometimes I wish I had. If you have been transitioning for a yr you probably have enough hair to work with if you BC. Just a suggestion.

I've been considering it actually! But i think it may be too soon. I wanted to cut when I had enough to put it into a puff, and I still have a lot of relaxed hair left. Besides, I have a really strong jaw, so having really short hair doesn't suit me. *sigh* then again, it hasn't suited me for years so...

 

[Rei]

I used to be a big WIG wearer, however even that gets old. And I got tired of explaining why I am wearing a wig. No I don't have cancer, and no my hair didn't fall out....uuuugh

I have a phony bun on now, and I love it. I think its sexy, AS LONG, as I have my makeup & jewlery on. At work it seems more professional to me.

yeah, i've been wearing a phony bun too, lol, I just get really paranoid when its on, i'm afraid it will fall off!
I used to wear wigs all of the time too, but I also got sick of answering questions...

 

[Rei]

Rei, have you tried wearing braidouts or rollersets?

yeah I need a LOT more practice with that before it looks good on me. braidouts in general just look a mess because I think my hair is too short for them to look good.

I guess I'll just have to stick with it. I used to get my hair curled at the salon with rods, but it seemed that everytime i got that done, when I washed it out, my hair would be superdry as if i had never moisturized it during the time I had them in

How about braids whilst you transition?

Yeah I 've been contemplating putting them back in again, if only to not be concerned with my hair anymore. My hair grows the fastest with them in, and I'm sick of wearing hats and fake buns.

 

[Eclass215]

Girrrrl, I feel you. But you know what, like ttlayli said, putting on that lip gloss and jewelry does help a bit. I usually don't wear makeup, but when my hair is not looking as fab as it could, I compensate with something I know I look good in and dress it up as much as I can. You'd be surprised how other people see you in a way that you don't see yourself. Just bring the confidence from within and hopefully you'll feel better (that's what I tell myself at least, lol)

 

[RedVelvet310]

I fell you girl... I was transitioning and didn't even know it. My last relaxer had been so excruciatingly painful (I have a very sensitive scalp so I was ALWAYS burnt while getting relaxers) I just didn't want anymore relaxers. My hair was JACKED UP.. the relaxed ends were over processed and scraggly, and my natural hair was thick, dry and uncombable... I was alway NL so my sad attempts of a pony tail never looked right. I just gave up and wore half wigs all the time. After 7 months I finally had enough and got my cousin to cut of the relaxed ends... my hair was literally about an inch long (unstretched).. too short to cornrow, too short for anything, but I new that this was an improvement from my horrid natural/relaxed mix of broken ends. 7 months after my BC my hair is now 100& natural and it's now LONGER than it was at this time last year stretched... All I can tell you and keep on truckin... In the end it will all pay off, and it will pay off a lot sooner than you think if you keep healthy hair practices!

HHG!