Saved and Sexy?

[aribell]

I agree, you can not Christianize everything. But whatever a husband and wife do behind close doors aint my business. Porn is wrong, too me, because its an act of perpetual fornication. Their acts are wrong because no one is married. But the actual acts themselves, are fine in the bedroom between a husband and wife. Oh and making profit off how lying on your back is pretty sick too...but thats another thread.

To the bolded, for anyone who's had the misfortune of seeing pornography, it becomes clear pretty quickly that it's not just about unmarried (or married, even) people having sex on the screen. There is an entire mentality that accompanies it, of objectification and oftentimes humiliation, lust, and the like. The actors being married or not married wouldn't change those things.

The point being that Christians have to be discerning in what we emulate and discern the spirit that is behind it. I think what happens sometimes is we latch onto things and then say, "Well, I'm a Christian, so when I do x,y, and z" it's automatically different, not realizing that it's really not.

 

[Renewed1]

I agree.

It's like belly-dancing to a certain degree.

BTW I'm learning to belly-dance and I love it. Great workout for the abs and hips.

The pole dancing question was a general one that I think is applicable to everyone, meaning that the comment wasn't directed toward you PrettyFace. But I am somewhat wary of general "culture" arguments since we (those who are in the US) don't live in Africa, Asia, India or anywhere else. So, yeah, women go topless in parts of Africa...but I'm not going to walk down the street in Philly without a shirt on and then say that modesty is culturally relative.

I don't think anyone needs to justify to anyone else what they do or do not do (we only answer to Christ), but it's good to put things out there to think about.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Girl Ive seen and heard of terrible accidents. Its so true. They have two main rules: If you choose to wear the heels, they have to have quarter size heels or larger (they help make spins less awkward to do and no stilletos, this aint your bedroom) and NO LOTION OR OIL BEFORE OR DURING CLASS. Stay ashy for your safety. Its messes up the pole and when you go to spin, beware of the flying dancer....or falling depends on what your doing. To do advance tricks, besides alot of strength, your skin needs to make contact with the pole unless your that good and strong (which takes alot of work). For the pretty tricks, you'll be hands and legs free sometimes and the only thing holding you up it your abs, back of knee, or armpit against the pole. Very tricky stuff but super fun.

Well, I don't know the updates, but when she told us that story she said that things were getting a lot better. But, she was still praying before hand..you know.

I just did a google on why folks wear what they were when doing the poll dances. I read that the skin needs to be in contact with the poll or when you are doing some of the moves you will slip and fall. So your stomach, arms, and legs need to be exposed. And you can't put lotion on your body.

Is that true?

 

[BeautifulFlower]

To the bolded, for anyone who's had the misfortune of seeing pornography, it becomes clear pretty quickly that it's not just about unmarried (or married, even) people having sex on the screen. There is an entire mentality that accompanies it, of objectification and oftentimes humiliation, lust, and the like. The actors being married or not married wouldn't change those things.

The point being that Christians have to be discerning in what we emulate and discern the spirit that is behind it. I think what happens sometimes is we latch onto things and then say, "Well, I'm a Christian, so when I do x,y, and z" it's automatically different, not realizing that it's really not.

Oh you talking about the sick stuff...yeah...I agree with you on that. Two on one, homo sex, being slapped (but some people like that), raped, pee'd on (ok too graphic), etc...thats not cool. I guess I was just thinking about men and women sex...

BTW, I didnt take offense to what you said before.

I agree.

It's like belly-dancing to a certain degree.

BTW I'm learning to belly-dance and I love it. Great workout for the abs and hips.

Girl, thats up next. If I am not to big a punk to try gymnastics again. Belly dancing is so sexy and feminine. I love it. I guess you guess can tell I love all dance by now? I dont discernment. I would go to the club every weekend if it wasnt for the men...the music...the alcohol...or the people all together...just a room and a DJ is all I need.

 

[TrustMeLove]

To the bolded, for anyone who's had the misfortune of seeing pornography, it becomes clear pretty quickly that it's not just about unmarried (or married, even) people having sex on the screen. There is an entire mentality that accompanies it, of objectification and oftentimes humiliation, lust, and the like. The actors being married or not married wouldn't change those things.

The point being that Christians have to be discerning in what we emulate and discern the spirit that is behind it. I think what happens sometimes is we latch onto things and then say, "Well, I'm a Christian, so when I do x,y, and z" it's automatically different, not realizing that it's really not.

The spirit and mentality behind us doing anything thing can make the difference. I totally agree. I don't think we have to christianize anything.

I don't think poll dancing needs christianizing, just like the waltz doesn't need christianizing, nor the samba, electric slide, or line dancing. We electric slide up in church hahahahaha...but I could also electric slide at the club too...

I've salsa danced at church, but I have also salsa danced at a salsa dancing club.

Electric slide at the club was definitely "different" from electric slide at the church. One I can't do anymore and the other the deaconesses be the ones setting off at the church and I jump right in line..hahaha.

Now my electric slide moves at the club were different than the ones I used at church. Much more holy hahahaha. And now are the only electric slide moves I use. I don't even think the electric slide was suppose to go the route I took it...hahaha but I took it there.

Praise God for He is a deliverer.

Now some folks could be shocked and appalled (sp) that we are doing the electric slide. But, we are having a Holy Ghost good time in the Lord. I usually don't get to dance in the line though, because I'm usually singing but we all do our dance in the Lord.

Now we haven't Christianized the electric slide it's just a dance..a form of expression.

 

[aribell]

As far as sexiness goes, my own rule is that I skip anything that is designed to draw attention to my body in a sexually alluring way. And also in general trying to look too good as a way of drawing attention to myself. That's pride.

But I get the sexy attitude that OP's dh was talking about. Isn't that what we want? A man to be drawn in by all of who you are, not just the physical part.

 

[aribell]

Electric slide at the club was definitely "different" from electric slide at the church. One I can't do anymore and the other the deaconesses be the ones setting off at the church and I jump right in line..hahaha.

Now my electric slide moves at the club were different than the ones I used at church. Much more holy hahahaha. And now are the only electric slide moves I use. I don't even think the electric slide was suppose to go the route I took it...hahaha but I took it there.

Praise God for He is a deliverer.

Now some folks could be shocked and appalled (sp) that we are doing the electric slide. But, we are having a Holy Ghost good time in the Lord. I usually don't get to dance in the line though, because I'm usually singing but we all do our dance in the Lord.

Now we haven't Christianized the electric slide it's just a dance..a form of expression.

lol, I've never seen the electric slide be sexy in any kind of way...

...I'm curious now...

As far as dance forms go, I think the issue with the pole dancing was not about pole dancing in and of itself, as a sport, but (pole dancing + sex) and the connotations it raises in people's minds. I don't think anyone is saying that dance forms are inherently bad...but I also don't think anyone would put a pole in a church, no matter how artful it might be.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Girl Ive seen and heard of terrible accidents. Its so true. They have two main rules: If you choose to wear the heels, they have to have quarter size heels or larger (they help make spins less awkward to do and no stilletos, this aint your bedroom) and NO LOTION OR OIL BEFORE OR DURING CLASS. Stay ashy for your safety. Its messes up the pole and when you go to spin, beware of the flying dancer....or falling depends on what your doing. To do advance tricks, besides alot of strength, your skin needs to make contact with the pole unless your that good and strong (which takes alot of work). For the pretty tricks, you'll be hands and legs free sometimes and the only thing holding you up it your abs, back of knee, or armpit against the pole. Very tricky stuff but super fun.

That's a SHAME! I would probably laugh if I saw that though..but only because I react badly to really sad stuff.

How haven't you fallen? I have to put lotion on or ashy-ness will be very apparent.

 

[TrustMeLove]

lol, I've never seen the electric slide be sexy in any kind of way...

...I'm curious now...

And trust me you don't want to see it..I looked likea complete fool. I know the Lord was like..I need to find a way to get her on video tape so she can see this mess after I deliver her...

I'm still waiting for a tape to pop up somewhere.

Even though, in college my friends and I had strict rules never NEVER to get caught on tape when we were out at the club. Hahaha! That's how you know you doing wrong! What a shame!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

That's a SHAME! I would probably laugh if I saw that though..but only because I react badly to really sad stuff.

How haven't you fallen? I have to put lotion on or ashy-ness will be very apparent.

Thats like my sister. She laughs at people fall. I tend turn around and leave the room.Its terrible.

I am smart. It the pole feels slippery, wipe it with windex. If your hands feel sweaty, spray alcohol on it and rub your hands together. They should have this for you at the studio already, should anyway... My rule of thumb if when my feet begin to leave the ground, my hands slip a little, time to clean. I am not trying to be a pole casualty out here. Pole dancing hurts but you get used to pole burn, hitting body parts against the pole in painful ways, etc...but when you master a move, oh the sweet victory.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

If tapes surfaced on me, ! Only God is my judge now...

And trust me you don't want to see it..I looked likea complete fool. I know the Lord was like..I need to find a way to get her on video tape so she can see this mess after I deliver her...

I'm still waiting for a tape to pop up somewhere.

Even though, in college my friends and I had strick rules never NEVER to get caught on tape when were out at the club. Hahaha! That's how you know you doing wrong! What a shame!

 

[TrustMeLove]

lol, I've never seen the electric slide be sexy in any kind of way...

...I'm curious now...

As far as dance forms go, I think the issue with the pole dancing was not about pole dancing in and of itself, as a sport, but (pole dancing + sex) and the connotations it raises in people's minds. I don't think anyone is saying that dance forms are inherently bad...but I also don't think anyone would put a pole in a church, no matter how artful it might be.

True! Neither would a rope hanging from a ceiling for the circus sole (sp) folks. Nor would a balance beam. Most stuff like that doesn't.

However, the art of poll dancing was the issue at hand. It's connected in most peoples mindsd with strippers and sex and therefore not holy and Christians shouldn't participate in such forms of fitness or dance because they are less known than the other. Find another form of exercise.

Have you seen any fitness poll dancing videos? I'm sorry that stuff looks FUN! It looks hard and will take a certain level of fitness but fun.

I use to do that stuff as a kid. Swinging around a poll. Climbing the poll..hanging upside down. Hahaha! I could only wish to do that these days.

 

[aribell]

True! Neither would a rope hanging from a ceiling for the circus sole (sp) folks. Nor would a balance beam. Most stuff like that doesn't.

For completely different reasons!

Have you seen any fitness poll dancing videos? I'm sorry that stuff looks FUN! It looks hard and will take a certain level of fitness but fun.

Yeah, I have, I'm sure it is fun...well, one of the vids was distinctively more "sporty" than the other, so it varies. Sure there's a difference between fitness dancing and the strip club. But since the first post about it mentioned the bedroom and feeling sexy, in light of the theme of the thread overall, pole dancing in a sexually provocative way was the implication, even if that was unintended. It's not like "fitness pole dancing" is as common as football. Not a big deal...

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Can I be bold here?

I wasn't going to comment in this thread, but..after reading it last night, I was awakened at 4am to comment here. After prayer, here I am

I think this is a good thread..thanks, OP. I've read everyone's responses and its always interesting to see how people interact...those that agree and those that disagree. It's important for people to do this...especially believers in Jesus!

However....we must always remember to do it in a spirit of love.

Those of us who are the "older women" whom the bible tells us to "teach the younger women", need to understand that we must teach them without judgement. Honestly, there has been alot of judgement going on in this thread and it needs to stop...seriously.

Pole dancing, belly dancing, etc...if that's what a woman who is a believer desires to do for her husband, then from what I remember the bible saying is that "the marriage bed is undefiled." We can sit behind our computer screens and say 'oh chile, you shouldn't be doing this or that' but that's their choice and if its wrong, the Holy Spirit knows how to bring correction to them in it. If they choose NOT to hear from the Holy Spirit regarding it, then its on them. We are suppose to teach the younger women, but if it causes them to build walls, then what did we really teach them and what have they learned?

Some would say that being on a hair forum as a believer is vain. Others would say that being in the makeup forum and talking about eyeshadow and blush, etc. is also vain. I say...I go to those forums cause I like my hair to look good and I like to wear makeup because it makes me look pretty...for me first and then my husband. Most times, I don't wear makeup but when I do...watch out now!

There are a few christian women on this very site that does belly dancing...soooooo, they are whorish or ungodly because they do? Ummmm...I don't think so. These women are full of the Holy Spirit and are empowered to do the work of the ministry....powerful I say!

Coming out and thrashing people for what they do, without teaching them in love is wrong. This is my humble opinion. You may even think that what you said is in a spirit of love, but when you look at it from my end....I don't see it. The young lady that spoke about her pole dancing for her husband, I'm sure thought she could come into a forum with other women who are believers, and share something about herself that she doesn't see anything wrong with. Well, she now sees that she can't share everything....even with women who are in a Christian Forum! Now, I can see that I had better not share some things that dh and I teach to our married couples cause ya'll would be foaming at the mouth...and what we teach is blessed...straight from the heart of the Father!

If we are going to be teachers, we must be careful of how we teach...we are going to be held accountable to a higher degree. I'm not a perfect person...by far, but I do know on sensitive subjects like this, I try to teach not with a rod of iron, but in a spirit of gentleness, humbleness, meekness and love....the Fruit of the Spirit in activation is powerful!

I'm sure to get lots of heat about this...but, its ok. But, I'm hopeful that we can agree to disagree with a spirit of love and with a heart of learning.

In all our getting, get understanding!

Loving all of you with the love of the Lord!

Blessings...always!

 

[neenzmj]

Nice&Wavy:

Let me just give you an enormous round of applause! I was up around 3:00 this morning (allergy issues), but this post was in my mind as well. You spoke the truth in love, and I so appreciate it.

Can I be bold here?

I wasn't going to comment in this thread, but..after reading it last night, I was awakened at 4am to comment here. After prayer, here I am

I think this is a good thread..thanks, OP. I've read everyone's responses and its always interesting to see how people interact...those that agree and those that disagree. It's important for people to do this...especially believers in Jesus!

However....we must always remember to do it in a spirit of love.

Those of us who are the "older women" whom the bible tells us to "teach the younger women", need to understand that we must teach them without judgement. Honestly, there has been alot of judgement going on in this thread and it needs to stop...seriously.

Pole dancing, belly dancing, etc...if that's what a woman who is a believer desires to do for her husband, then from what I remember the bible saying is that "the marriage bed is undefiled." We can sit behind our computer screens and say 'oh chile, you shouldn't be doing this or that' but that's their choice and if its wrong, the Holy Spirit knows how to bring correction to them in it. If they choose NOT to hear from the Holy Spirit regarding it, then its on them. We are suppose to teach the younger women, but if it causes them to build walls, then what did we really teach them and what have they learned?

Some would say that being on a hair forum as a believer is vain. Others would say that being in the makeup forum and talking about eyeshadow and blush, etc. is also vain. I say...I go to those forums cause I like my hair to look good and I like to wear makeup because it makes me look pretty...for me first and then my husband. Most times, I don't wear makeup but when I do...watch out now!

There are a few christian women on this very site that does belly dancing...soooooo, they are whorish or ungodly because they do? Ummmm...I don't think so. These women are full of the Holy Spirit and are empowered to do the work of the ministry....powerful I say!

Coming out and thrashing people for what they do, without teaching them in love is wrong. This is my humble opinion. You may even think that what you said is in a spirit of love, but when you look at it from my end....I don't see it. The young lady that spoke about her pole dancing for her husband, I'm sure thought she could come into a forum with other women who are believers, and share something about herself that she doesn't see anything wrong with. Well, she now sees that she can't share everything....even with women who are in a Christian Forum! Now, I can see that I had better not share some things that dh and I teach to our married couples cause ya'll would be foaming at the mouth...and what we teach is blessed...straight from the heart of the Father!

If we are going to be teachers, we must be careful of how we teach...we are going to be held accountable to a higher degree. I'm not a perfect person...by far, but I do know on sensitive subjects like this, I try to teach not with a rod of iron, but in a spirit of gentleness, humbleness, meekness and love....the Fruit of the Spirit in activation is powerful!

I'm sure to get lots of heat about this...but, its ok. But, I'm hopeful that we can agree to disagree with a spirit of love and with a heart of learning.

In all our getting, get understanding!

Loving all of you with the love of the Lord!

Blessings...always!

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

I'm saved and I want to be viewed as sexy. I am a married woman and I totally want my husband sexually attracted to me. I appreciate the physical beauty God blessed me with and I enhance it with hair products, well fitting clothing, make up and jewelry and diet and exercise. If someone else views me as "sexy" so be it, but I totally push to be physically attractive (aka sexy) not slutty or whorish or raunchy or vulgar or revealing.

 

[momi]

Can I be bold here?

I wasn't going to comment in this thread, but..after reading it last night, I was awakened at 4am to comment here. After prayer, here I am

I think this is a good thread..thanks, OP. I've read everyone's responses and its always interesting to see how people interact...those that agree and those that disagree. It's important for people to do this...especially believers in Jesus!

However....we must always remember to do it in a spirit of love.

Those of us who are the "older women" whom the bible tells us to "teach the younger women", need to understand that we must teach them without judgement. Honestly, there has been alot of judgement going on in this thread and it needs to stop...seriously.

Loving all of you with the love of the Lord!

Blessings...always!

Thanks for the gentle rebuke Wavy! I have re-read my posts to make sure that I felt I could still stand by them without conviction.

Truth in love? We should speak the truth in love, but the bible also tells us to cry loud and spare not (Isaiah 58). We are also admonished to mark them who preach a gospel that is contrary to the authentic gospel (Romans 16).

I admit that I tend to fall in the latter camp - primarily because it is so much foolishness going on in the world and I am so tired of us (Christians) trying to ride the fence.

I wholeheartedly (sp) agree with you though on the older women teaching the younger women. Growing up there was always grandmas, aunties, play-mamas around that were strong in the faith to learn from. These days - not so much.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Thanks for the gentle rebuke Wavy! I have re-read my posts to make sure that I felt I could still stand by them without conviction.

Truth in love? We should speak the truth in love, but the bible also tells us to cry loud and spare not (Isaiah 58). We are also admonished to mark them who preach a gospel that is contrary to the authentic gospel (Romans 16).

I admit that I tend to fall in the latter camp - primarily because it is so much foolishness going on in the world and I am so tired of us (Christians) trying to ride the fence.

I wholeheartedly (sp) agree with you though on the older women teaching the younger women. Growing up there was always grandmas, aunties, play-mamas around that were strong in the faith to learn from. These days - not so much.

Hi momi, if the 'gentle rebuke' applied to you, and you received it, then...praise the Lord! My intent with this post was general, as you can see.

I totally understand with the content of the scripture you have given above, and it certainly can apply here...however I can also see it applied to our everyday speech...even here on the forum!

This brings me to the story of the woman that was caught in adultry. Jesus first dealt with the peeping toms, then when it was just He and her alone, He asked her "woman, where are your accusers?" She replied "they are not here Lord." He didn't judge her...He said to her "neither do I accuse you, go and sin no more!

May your day be glorious today!

 

[Renewed1]

Well said Nice and Wavy and Thank you.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I took the advice of some and prayed and ask God to search my heart about my intentions for doing it. Pole dance is just one of the many forms of dance I love. Its all beautiful to me. You may see whores and sin but I see beauty and God-given grace and talent. My goal, sorry to disappoint you guys, is not to have a show for my husband but if he wants to see and I feel comfortable then sure. My goal is to have a dance studio in my home and when I become advanced in a studio, I can stop going (aka paying them my money) to do pole, salsa, belly, hip hop, interpretive, etc...all in the comfort of my home. Dance is my therapy, I dont pick it and choose. Its my favorite form of self-expression...keyword MY. To each there own and if God believes that my dancing brings him dishonor then He knows where to reach me.

But above all, thank you to those for your admonishment, I am sure you meant well and I wanted to share what you believe is right. Thank you to those who supported me as well.

Nice & Wavy is right however that will probably be the last time I share intimate details about my life. I first came into this forum sharing about my discussion not to date, and court only as I believe this is God's will for his children, especially his daughters. I stand firm that dating is destructive. Its a new system implemented less than a century ago and the carnage its left behind is unbelievable. Marriages in ruin, children without fathers, std rate through the roof, co-habitation....etc...Its a dangerous game. However, many may have felt attacked by what I said because, in the dating world, they found love or they dont believe God finds anything wrong with it. I never tried to condemn their acts. I was even attacked for sharing my story (what are the odds). If youre a dater and thats what you like, go for it. If someone asked me about it, I shared my belief on it and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. I wasnt there to lay down the rod on ladies dating. One of my favorite quotes: "When the student is ready the teacher appears." I used to do it myself so I understand the allure. But I share to teach a better way (a God given way) in my opinion and let the Holy Spirit have a conversation with those which is a seed was planted.

But in all honesty, really ladies, we will NEVER see the world as it is but all as we are. We are shaped by our experiences. Therefore two people can look at the same thing and see two different things. Two may look at the empty tomb of Jesus...one saw a thief stealing the body and tells the world...the other saw a risen Savior....perspection is powerful.

 

[Misshairdiva]

I am so glad OP posted this.
Here was my delema..
I used to go to a church where all the ladies dressed very modest. VERY. They just looked like a bunch of plain Janes. Well, everyone but ME! I would look at the men that these women were with and they would dress to the nines! The men would be looking all sharp, the women all homely. I would go to Bible study in my BabyPhat clothes, (mind you they stylish but were not tight) and the women would be looking at me sideways, because my face was made up and I had stylish clothing on. I soo tried to fit in. I started buying big long skirts like they wore, and shirts that were way too big. And I was MISERABLE! I was like THIS IS NOT ME! I AM flashy. That's me! I am stylish! That's me. And this is how God made ME! I then stopped going to that church and found another church where I could still praise the Lord and show up at Bible study looking stylish and feeling accepted. Its funny because I had talked to another lady who left the church because she felt the same way. Mind you I am NOT talking about tight clothing. Just stylish. It was like a double standard. The men in the church would have nice clothes, and all the women were looking homely.
Do I think you can be saved and sexy? Yes. Not slutty. But sexy, alluring whatever you want to call it.
Most men, when they see a woman, they are looking at the physical first. Even in the Bible. They dont say, "hey, see that woman, she looks very smart, whatever just fill in the blank." First they like what they see, then the want to get to know the woman.
One that note.. I used to sit in church and wonder what these womens husbands think about their looks. Did they all look so homely when they met? Or, did they just decide not to focus on their looks when they got married? I would never want to let myself go like that. Looking all plain Jane. I want my husband to be at work and to WANT to come home to his sexy good looking wife!

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I took the advice of some and prayed and ask God to search my heart about my intentions for doing it. Pole dance is just one of the many forms of dance I love. Its all beautiful to me. You may see whores and sin but I see beauty and God-given grace and talent. My goal, sorry to disappoint you guys, is not to have a show for my husband but if he wants to see and I feel comfortable then sure. My goal is to have a dance studio in my home and when I become advanced in a studio, I can stop going (aka paying them my money) to do pole, salsa, belly, hip hop, interpretive, etc...all in the comfort of my home. Dance is my therapy, I dont pick it and choose. Its my favorite form of self-expression...keyword MY. To each there own and if God believes that my dancing brings him dishonor then He knows where to reach me.

But above all, thank you to those for your admonishment, I am sure you meant well and I wanted to share what you believe is right. Thank you to those who supported me as well.

Nice & Wavy is right however that will probably be the last time I share intimate details about my life. I first came into this forum sharing about my discussion not to date, and court only as I believe this is God's will for his children, especially his daughters. I stand firm that dating is destructive. Its a new system implemented less than a century ago and the carnage its left behind is unbelievable. Marriages in ruin, children without fathers, std rate through the roof, co-habitation....etc...Its a dangerous game. However, many may have felt attacked by what I said because, in the dating world, they found love or they dont believe God finds anything wrong with it. I never tried to condemn their acts. I was even attacked for sharing my story (what are the odds). If youre a dater and thats what you like, go for it. If someone asked me about it, I shared my belief on it and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. I wasnt there to lay down the rod on ladies dating. One of my favorite quotes: "When the student is ready the teacher appears." I used to do it myself so I understand the allure. But I share to teach a better way (a God given way) in my opinion and let the Holy Spirit have a conversation with those which is a seed was planted.

But in all honesty, really ladies, we will NEVER see the world as it is but all as we are. We are shaped by our experiences. Therefore two people can look at the same thing and see two different things. Two may look at the empty tomb of Jesus...one saw a thief stealing the body and tells the world...the other saw a risen Savior....perspection is powerful.

Awesome post!

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Nice&Wavy:

Let me just give you an enormous round of applause! I was up around 3:00 this morning (allergy issues), but this post was in my mind as well. You spoke the truth in love, and I so appreciate it.

Humbly....thank you!

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

I think it's largely an interpretation of definitions, femininity and sensuality. Our sexes carry with them a certain type of sexual attraction. It could be our eyes, hair, strength of muscles, softness of the skin, many things. We are created to mate with the opposite sex and form families. It's a microcosm, this family of G-d. Thing is, we imitate G-d's plan in faithfulnes to our families. G-d doesn't have relations with us spiritually and leave us for future disinterest.

IMHO, sensualness is that which leads one to sexual desire only. It's devoid of committment of a relationship. It's not about finding that mate and communicating with them on many levels for life. Overt displays of sensuality tempt for the physical sexual experience only. So, yes, I think you can be "sexy"/feminine and religious because by default, by our makeup, we are created to be sexually attracted to each other to be fruitful and multiply. But G-d's design is being fruitful in marriage. I don't think being overtly sensual and religious work well together. It's a compromise to be tempting someone to engage in sex with you while pretending to display moral uprightness.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

Oh boy, this is taking a turn and I'm only page 4! I see another thread coming. So, what's g-dly sex? What's allowable between husband and wife? Anal, vaginal only, felatio, missionary only? No poles, negligee's, lights on, lights off, through a hole in the sheet, totally naked, praying while performing one's "duties?" What's g-dly in marriage and what is not?

 

[neenzmj]

Misshairdiva: I feel you totally! You have captured a major portion of something that I am very passionate about. I definitely believe that I have a responsibility not to tempt my brothers by what I wear, but at the same time, I don't want to run around wearing a potato sack! I believe the key (as with everything) is balance. My best tool for balance: a full-length mirror. I wish more women would use them more. If I step in front of that mirror and feel convicted, I change up the outfit (no matter how cute I think it is) OR I find another way to wear it that doesn't have quite so much "emphasis."

I am so glad OP posted this.
Here was my delema..
I used to go to a church where all the ladies dressed very modest. VERY. They just looked like a bunch of plain Janes. Well, everyone but ME! I would look at the men that these women were with and they would dress to the nines! The men would be looking all sharp, the women all homely. I would go to Bible study in my BabyPhat clothes, (mind you they stylish but were not tight) and the women would be looking at me sideways, because my face was made up and I had stylish clothing on. I soo tried to fit in. I started buying big long skirts like they wore, and shirts that were way too big. And I was MISERABLE! I was like THIS IS NOT ME! I AM flashy. That's me! I am stylish! That's me. And this is how God made ME! I then stopped going to that church and found another church where I could still praise the Lord and show up at Bible study looking stylish and feeling accepted. Its funny because I had talked to another lady who left the church because she felt the same way. Mind you I am NOT talking about tight clothing. Just stylish. It was like a double standard. The men in the church would have nice clothes, and all the women were looking homely.
Do I think you can be saved and sexy? Yes. Not slutty. But sexy, alluring whatever you want to call it.
Most men, when they see a woman, they are looking at the physical first. Even in the Bible. They dont say, "hey, see that woman, she looks very smart, whatever just fill in the blank." First they like what they see, then the want to get to know the woman.
One that note.. I used to sit in church and wonder what these womens husbands think about their looks. Did they all look so homely when they met? Or, did they just decide not to focus on their looks when they got married? I would never want to let myself go like that. Looking all plain Jane. I want my husband to be at work and to WANT to come home to his sexy good looking wife!

 

[Ramya]

I encourage everyone to continue sharing. I think we all have something to learn from each other.

prettyfaceANB: I dance as well. I love to dance. I don't pole dance lol but I do dance. I've done belly dancing, salsa, ballroom, ballet, jazz, hip hop ect. and for me it helps to calm my mind and re energize. It's a major part of my life too. We are all not going to agree on everything. But sharing about our lives helps to open up a dialogue which will challenge us all to truly looks inside and think about our motives for things and what God wants us to do. If we all stop sharing the Christian Forum will end. There would be no need to fellowship and discuss among each other if we were all of one mind. Challenge is a GOOD thing. It can reconfirm what we already know and believe, give us different perspectives and also convict us about our actions.

With that said let us not come here with an argumentative and combative spirit but with an open mind and blameless heart so that we ALL may learn from one another.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thank you for your post and your understanding. I also understand that challenge is good and sharing helps to open the minds of all. I wont stop sharing just maybe things that are a little dear to me, and yes dance is one of those things. Many believe I gotten beat the Jesus into these ladies. We are commanded to show the fruit of the spirit and most of us flame throwing forget that...

I encourage everyone to continue sharing. I think we all have something to learn from each other.

prettyfaceANB: I dance as well. I love to dance. I don't pole dance lol but I do dance. I've done belly dancing, salsa, ballroom, ballet, jazz, hip hop ect. and for me it helps to calm my mind and re energize. It's a major part of my life too. We are all not going to agree on everything. But sharing about our lives helps to open up a dialogue which will challenge us all to truly looks inside and think about our motives for things and what God wants us to do. If we all stop sharing the Christian Forum will end. There would be no need to fellowship and discuss among each other if we were all of one mind. Challenge is a GOOD thing. It can reconfirm what we already know and believe, give us different perspectives and also convict us about our actions.

With that said let us not come here with an argumentative and combative spirit but with an open mind and blameless heart so that we ALL may learn from one another.

 

[Aveena]

I really needed this thread in my life. Talk about perfect timing.

 

[neenzmj]

I'm really glad we were able to have this discussion. It's been on my heart a long time and I hesitated to post it, but I believe we become more united as women by tackling what can be some rather touchy issues.