Relaxed Ladies Please...

[Leo24Rule]

My sister has relaxed hair & to be honest I think she's clueless about her hair. I believe her hair is high priority so I've told her to up the moisture 2x a day, do the LOCB method, & deep condition weekly. Although, she moisturizes & loves her grease; it's not working for she's experiencing a lot of breakage, unmanagability, & split ends. Her hair growing up used to be longer than mine MBL, but now is an uneven SL. She claims her hair is so thick & unruly that she can't get a comb through it.

I've sent her YouTube videos of long haired relaxed Ladies & written down their regimens. I offer to do her hair & suggest she cut her ends & begin a healthy hair regimen, but she doesn't want to cut & says it's a lot of work. I suggested I cut off her her split ends, keep her hair moisturized in braids under a wig as she possibly transitions to natural. What do you think?

Right now her hair routine consists of a leave-in conditioner followed by slathering grease, & wearing a half wig. She wants me to put in a sew-in, but I refuse because if she can't keep up with moisturizing now her hair will be a disaster when taking down the install.

Did any of you ladies experience not just confusuon but thick unruly hair to where a comb can't even pass? What are your suggestions?

Thank you

 

[sunnieb]

When was her last relaxer?

Did she self relax or go to the salon?

 

[Leo24Rule]

She self relaxes & her last relaxer was 4 weeks ago.

 

[Evolving78]

She is highly over processed . She needs to see a professional. He or she can access if she needs a serious trim, and will give her a good treatment. She is going to have to work on getting rid of the damage and repairing what is spared, before getting a sew-in. Tell her to stop hiding and see a professional asap. Why is she using grease? Does she have a scalp issue? Tell her don't buy anything else, don't watch another video. She has done enough damage. Tell it will be alright, but now somebody qualified needs to take over.

 

[Leo24Rule]

Thank you @shortdub78 I couldn't agree with you more. As for the grease...It was a staple hair product growing up...To this day she still uses it, but she's not using it correctly. My mom was a licensed beautician growing up. I'm not kidding you when I say in elementary school our hair was down our backs. All my mom used was water, pink lotion & grease. Now my sister manipulates her hair daily by styling & I see her skip moisturizing sometimes & just applies grease. Can't do that!

 

[Evolving78]

Thank you @shortdub78 I couldn't agree with you more. As for the grease...It was a staple hair product growing up...To this day she still uses it, but she's not using it correctly. My mom was a licensed beautician growing up. I'm not kidding you when I say in elementary school our hair was down our backs. All my mom used was water, pink lotion & grease. Now my sister manipulates her hair daily by styling & I see her skip moisturizing sometimes & just applies grease. Can't do that!

Yeah, grease will always be a staple for some. I know a lot of people use it due to having a dry itchy scalp. I don't consider those bad products, it's just that it's hard to remove from the hair and scalp. A lot of people don't wash their hair enough, or don't even know how to properly do it. But since her hair is chemically treated, she has to make some changes. Plus, she needs to stop self relaxing and find ways to embrace her new growth.
I'm not talking that stretching for months and months, but stretching until she has 1-2 inches of new growth.

 

[CityGirl]

I have relaxed hair and this is probably the healthiest my hair has ever been. I struggled with my relaxed hair for a long time and then I was turned onto this forum by a friend. I have to say when I STOPPED using grease and shampoo my hair changed. I went from barely shoulder length at times to APL. I relax every 8 weeks BUT I cowash daily, apply a leave in and seal that in with coconut oil. I exercise, eat a healthy diet and take vitamins.
On rare occasions and special occasions I wash with conditioner only, blow dry on a cool setting and then flat iron on LOW. At times I still can't believe it is my hair. I knew I needed to change my hair practices. I used to use hot rollers EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I kept doing the same thing and hoping for a different result and it wasn't happening. I strongly suggest that your sister come to terms with getting a good trim and committing to handling her hair a different way. My relaxed hair is easy for me. I respect the women who have transitioned to natural but I knew that wasn't going to work for me. So tell your sister it can be done. But she's going to have to find her regimen and stick with it.

 

[divachyk]

I use to have hair where the comb could not pass through. Increasing moisture to the hair will help the hair become manageable. Hair that lacks moisture is very hard to comb and is thick and unruly. If the hair is under processed or if she's stretching her relaxers and have a lot of new growth, you will need to spray the hair with a liquid moisturizer or detangler before combing the hair. This will also keep the hair from snapping at the line of demarcation.

 

[Leo24Rule]

She just put on a relaxer today...so every 4 weeks she's getting a perm.

 

[Leo24Rule]

I agree with everything you said @divachyk ....it's just so dry and under kept....all to put a half wig comb in will cause breakage at demarcation

 

[divachyk]

She just put on a relaxer today...so every 4 weeks she's getting a perm.

I'm not trying to push my blog on you or her but I have articles about relaxed hair care on my blog from my relaxed hair days. I journaled the entire time when transitioning and I really focused on how to keep the hair properly moisturized (these articles can also help those looking to stretch their relaxers). I use to relax my hair every 4 weeks (back in the day) but I now know better. She should strive for at least 6 weeks and then work her way up to increasing it to 8 weeks and later 12 weeks.

 

[Leo24Rule]

Thank you. I will take a look at it.