relaxed ladies:how do you do it?!?

[eripmaven45]

I mean seriously!I have nothing against relaxed hair and im not one of those freeky feminist chicks who think all relaxed ladies are evil or something but how do you keep up w/ it

i myself am natural because it happens to be easier for me and i like the look

Kudos to alla you guys

erpmaven

 

[Isis]

I think it takes a lot of love, dedication and skill to properly care for relaxed hair and I'm glad I'm learning how to do it, mainly from the wonderful ladies on this board. Natural hair also needs love and a good regime. Both can be very beautiful looks and it's a matter of choice.

 

[Tracy]

My Mom is natural and I often wonder how SHE does it....

All that hair and all that time....but it always looks beautiful. I really believe the amount of work is about the same, but the needs and focuses are different in natural and relaxed hair.

When you know this, all that's left is a styling choice - which is, I agree, a matter of preference.

I give kudos to the natural girls!

We have so many beautiful heads of natural hair and everyone works so hard....

 

[pebbles]

I've been both natural and relaxed, and to me, the amount of time required to care for my hair so that it was in good condition was the same. Both ways, my hair requires a lot of attention, so honestly, it really doesn't bother me.

 

[skegeesmb]

I must say, having natural hair takes work too. When I first went natural back in 01' having short natural hair was hard for me. But as my hair got longer, my hair was not only easier for me to manage, but also softer then when I first started to go natural.

Honestly, It takes me the same time to do my hair natural as it did relaxed. I thought that by going natural, my hair was going grow down my back like a chia pet. But it grows the same speed with a relaxer.

I think it takes extreme care on the persons part when it comes to relaxed hair. The hair needs to be handled with care, or if you leave the relaxer on too long, overlap too soon, or relax every three week, you will be asking for trouble.

If I were to relax again, I would definately texturize. It is a chemical true, but I will have something I didn't have when I previously relaxed...curls. I've always had nice looking relaxed hair, and nice looking natural hair.

I give props to ladies who know how to take care of relaxed hair because it's a job in itself. It wasn't until I went natural that I realized how careful you have to be with relaxed hair. Being natural, you forget those things. Well at least I did.

 

[DDHair]

Although I am transitioning now and this may be the hardest challenge I will face during my natural stage, I must say that the time for me to take care of my hair was done best and easiest with a relaxer. Now for a beautician to do my hair, I think the time is about the same, it seems shorter now that all they have to do is wash, dry, and straighten (which I don't get done too often). But sometimes for me to make one ponytail, is not the easiest, nor is it easy for my friend who is completely natural and has been for about 2 years, it's not as easy as it would be to stick relaxed hair back in a ponytail.

I don't think it is a matter of how you put up with it, because unless you are having relaxing problems such as breakage or shedding, then the whole relaxed thing is really convenient. But you still have to worry about breakage and shedding with natural hair, so really depending on your style, it just depends on what you are looking to get out of the relaxed or natural hair. Many reasons why women relax their young daughters' hair is for convenience. My mother thought I was too tenderheaded and that is one of the reasons I ended up with relaxed hair. I met one woman who said that it was either her or her daughter, both of them couldn't be natural, she didn't have time for that. It's just a matter of choice, because hair can be healthy and beautiful either way.

 

[Allandra]

I've been having it done for so long that it's not one bit difficult for me.

 

[inthepink]

When I was relaxed, it was just a normal thing to manage.

 

[adrienne0914]

keep up with what? i was natural longer than i've been relaxed. it was about the same in terms of maintenance. the only reason it takes longer now IF i wear my hair down is because it's so much longer than it was when i was natural...

 

[Guest]

I too don't understand; keep up with what. In the south, it is rare to see a women with natural hair. Taking care of relaxed hair is just as easy as taking care of pressed or natural hair.

 

[perfectpeace]

I think on average, I have transitioned every six years or so. For me, relaxed hair is the preferred method only because my styles hold up so much better in this foggy rainy weather I live in. But I definately admire the health of natural hair.

 

[Michelle79]

[ QUOTE ]
Isis said:
I think it takes a lot of love, dedication and skill to properly care for relaxed hair and I'm glad I'm learning how to do it, mainly from the wonderful ladies on this board. Natural hair also needs love and a good regime. Both can be very beautiful looks and it's a matter of choice.

[/ QUOTE ]

I couldn't have said this any better!

 

[butterfly7]

O.K. I don't feel so bad now. I was trying to understand the question. Keep up with what? I'm confused.

 

[HotCoCoGurl130]

this is what i have been all my life so this is normal for me.

 

[shinyblackhair]

I didn't have much of a say in the matter considering I was relaxed at the age of 8

I know what my natural hair is like and that is the main reason why I keep on relaxing. I've gone about 6 months without a relaxer so, it's not like I don't know what my real texture is like, but I do love my relaxed hair...at the same time I love wavy hair but, I find it more time consuming to work with natural hair. Also, it's a matter of preference for me. I have spent (and still do) a lot of time looking at natural hair care sites and photo albums, and nothing has really inspired me to go that route. I don't like the look. I love smooth sleek hair. I dunno, maybe I have issues???

 

[celestialOne]

Shinyblackhair, i think i share your sentiments. If i were natural i would spend all of my time attempting to achieve a straight-full bodied look because that is what i prefer. However, since blowdrying and curling can be just as damaging as relaxers on natural hair, i think relaxing is easiest for me because all i have to do then is rollerset ( i am now an expert in that area

). Perhaps we both have issues?

 

[asummertyme]

i never knew there was a hate club for relaxed hair....wow..i never knew hair could be such a political issue..it's really weird , i dont think i will ever understand why naturals cant stand relaxed.... i thought it was just a style...i dunno .i love black hair in all of it's states styles and textures!

 

[Purtygurly]

I think that neither style is very easy to keep. They both have their own sets of problems. It's just a matter of preference.

 

[soslychic]

I completely agree with you shinyblackhair. (No you don't have issues

I think that only if going natural has NEVER crossed your mind and you've always HATED your natural texture, do you have issues.
But I've thought about it before and I know what my texture is and I have no qualms with it, I just prefer relaxed hair. For me it's easier with more options and the styles compliment my features and the looks that I'm going for right now.
I agree that both are hard to take care of, it all comes down to personal style stance.

 

[debyjay]

See, the way this question was phrased was bothering me. It's just hair!!! I don't have issues, I simply like my hair relaxed. It's that simple. This board is great because it's all inclusive. We co-exist beautifully and I love it for that. I just got through writing down a list of products for my natural cousin who needs help desperately. I'm going to buy her all the stuff and have her use it. If it works, she'll be happy and can take over. This is so much fun for me. On a lot of other boards there is a battle going on between relaxed and naturals. We don't need that here. This is a rare and beautiful thing we have going on here. Let's grow girls! All girls -- relaxed, natural and texturized!!!

 

[ccd]

Hair can be really very political at times, I prefer having my hair relaxed because I can wear it straight or curly if I want...(IMO)I think it is great to have that kind of versatility...all hair styles require work, dreads, braids twists what ever...I think you just have to do what's comfortable to you......

hope you all don't mind if I share this;
I have a friend who constantly complains (within the passed year) that she hates having her hair relaxed and wants to cut it and wear dreads....at first I would support her and say whatever she wants to do she should do but now it comes up EVERY time we speak EVERY TIME she finds a way to bring it up...why do you suppose she brings it up all the time???

It makes me uncomfortable to talk to her because she always says how she hates having their hair relaxed, that she is a victim of what the mainstream views as acceptable or beautiful that she really wants to cut her hair.....

 

[shinyblackhair]

[ QUOTE ]
ccd said:
hope you all don't mind if I share this;
I have a friend who constantly complains (within the passed year) that she hates having her hair relaxed and wants to cut it and wear dreads....at first I would support her and say whatever she wants to do she should do but now it comes up EVERY time we speak EVERY TIME she finds a way to bring it up...why do you suppose she brings it up all the time???

It makes me uncomfortable to talk to her because she always says how she hates having their hair relaxed, that she is a victim of what the mainstream views as acceptable or beautiful that she really wants to cut her hair.....

[/ QUOTE ]

It sounds to me like your friend is trying to get a feel for what you'd think of her if she was to do go natural. Maybe she is afraid she wouldn't be accepted or that she would stand out??? That's the thought that jumps out at me, anyway. It sounds like she having a hard time making the decision to just go ahead and do it, and is looking for someone to say "Yes, I think you should cut off your relaxed hair and go natural" of course, no one is going to do that. It is up to her to make the choice. No one can do it for her.

I think you should be frank with her and ask her exactly what the deal is. What are her fears? Hopefully this can open up a dialogue and she can find it within HERSELF do what it sounds like she really wants to do.

hth

~sbh~

 

[adrienne0914]

very good advice, shinyblackhair!

by the way, your girls are beautiful!!

 

[ccd]

thanks, i think you definitely make a great point. She does tend to want to know how other people feel about things so that makes sense

 

[Stylepink]

Relaxed, to me, is easier than natural. I tried natural and it did not work for me.

 

[caralexis2005]

perfectly stated, shinyblackhair!
i agree with you too ccd. its a style choice but i also make sure not to perpetuate beliefs about hair that are inherently racist bc i realize its political to some people.

 

[Dutchess]

This is how I do mine, I do a re-touch every 11-14 weeks with Optimum relaxer. In the meantime, I keep my hair shampooed, conditioned and moisturized that's about it. My mom has been natural all of her life and she does the same things I do (with the exception of re-touches a few times a year.) I happen to have an affinity for relaxed hair and she, for natural. This has never, ever been an issue or debate for us.