Rant

[sherrimberri]

Just a quick rant.....I'm sitting at my moms table and she says:what if a year of you doing this your hair is still the same length? First of all 'this' is just me deep conditioning, washing once a week and moisturizing my hair daily. Nothing special, just normal hair practices. they did way more to my Hair at the salon. Any who I showed her a thread of where someone BC and three years later her Hair was BSB. She said yeah right that's a weave.whatever I go on to tell her that her hair is growing that's why she needs tO color it every month but her hair is breaking off and not retaining any length because it has been the same length for years. I think that struck a nerve. I pray that my hair reaches full BSB some time next year so I can prove all the non believers WRONG! Sorry for the long post I'm just tired of hearing people's opinions about MY hair and telling me that I am wasting my time.

 

[lacreolegurl]

You'll do it...ignore the naysayers. Just keep up the positive things you've been doing with your hair. When it reaches your goal, whip it every chance you get!

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

I get the same kind of attitude from aunts/uncles when I first put my hair into PS braid extensions.

My hair journey started in 2009 and my hair was cbl and damaged badly. And now my hair is bsl. I hope to be full mdl by May 2012 (3 years healthy!) The only thing I do to my hair is deep condish once a week, and braid spray + leave in.

So now I'm the family 'hair fanatic' But hey, whatever grows your hair out. My mom used to harp on me about hair too. But when she saw how my hair was thriving, she started to used leave ins and dc after shampoos.

 

[AmyRose92]

lol I had the same reaction from my mom when I started caring for my hair by myself. She saw me running out the bathroom with my deep conditioner applied and she started ranting about how my hair would break off. I was about 8 months into my transition, barely a LHCF member and was just starting to apply the basics. Fast forward two years later, my natural hair is well past my shoulders and on its way to APL!

It takes a lot of patience and self-encouragement to stick to your guns and care for your hair the way you know it should be taken care of, especially in the face of family members who have these bad hair habits burned into their psyches for generations. It's not going to happen overnight, but just stay on your journey until they can see the results for themselves.

 

[Meemee6223]

I get the same reaction from dh. He thinks I wash my hair too much or I mess with it too much. Mind u, I wash only once a week and moisturize once a day. Obviously that's too much in his eyes. So I wear my hair in a bun everyday and when it's super long I'm gonna straighten it out and tell him I told u so. Lol

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

 

[kupenda]

Same thing here. My mom told me last week that the reason I have breakage is because I do too much to my hair. I don't do much of anything except DC weekly and at that time I was tucked under a half wig. And went to the salon twice a month. She said my hair is gonna break off unless I let a stylist do it for it me more often. She didn't care that this is the longest my hair has ever been.

And then my loser ex bf says I shocked my hair and that it's not gonna grow if I keep messing with it. That was his response to my first egg protein treatment (I'm broke. As all out of aphogee 2 min lol so I improvised). And I kindly reminded him that he has been growing his hair for four years and it's the same length as mine. Everything he knows about hair, he learned from me. I snipped his split ends and detangled his nasty looking twists. I took him shopping for oil and introduced him to cowashing.

So I'm just gonna keep doing what works for me. This time next year they will have no choice but to shut up and stare in awe


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[ebonyseas]

Take pics! Even if you don't reach your goal you'll see progress!

 

[Papoose]

My mom is the opposite. She asks me for tips and supports my journey. OP, use it as motivation!

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I have someone like that, not helpful and full of negativity.

I showed up for some family event a few months ago with my hair straightened and some people could not stop complimenting my hair. Weeks later when my hair was curly again it was presumed to be a wig.

I just ignore them at this point since clearly my decision to transition to natural was a good one for me and for my hair. It is so much thicker now (when straight) than it was when I was relaxed.

 

[Cendra]

You're doing all the right things, your hair WILL grow and all you have to do is preserve. Pretty simple if you keep it simple.
Use this as motivation to keep going and don't let it stress you out. And please ressucitate (sp?) this thread at this time next year and we'll all have a good laugh!

 

[sherrimberri]

My mom is the opposite. She asks me for tips and supports my journey. OP, use it as motivation!

You are lucky! After told my her hair was breaking that's why she is not retaining length she came to me 30 min later and said I want to dispute your theory. her words and I quote" my hair is not long because I'm older, and onnce my hair gets 7 inches it stops growing. Just like my under arm hair does not grow long, neither does the hair on my head." WTF? I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone.

 

[sweetdreams23]

You are lucky! After told my her hair was breaking that's why she is not retaining length she came to me 30 min later and said I want to dispute your theory. her words and I quote" my hair is not long because I'm older, and once my hair gets 7 inches it stops growing. Just like my under arm hair does not grow long, neither does the hair on my head." WTF? I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone.

erplexed

 

[Lila25]

Op,

Mothers, sisters and cousins can work nerves you didn't think you had..smile, give her a hug and keep doin you... You will reach your personal goal, and when you do, you won't care what length people think your hair is..because you will know.

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

It's funny actually, 'cause yesterday I straightened my hair and my mom a big 'you do too much to your hair' person was cooing over how long it was. 'See? That's from my side of the family.' I love and respect my mom but I got to say ...Oh okay, that's why all her sisters/ cousins have short, damaged hair. Every year I see them, their hair is the same length. Lol!

Do your hair OP and I agree with a previous post about bringing this up in a year! Lol!

 

[Bnster]

Well we know you are not wasting your time. It is what your put into it is what you will get out of it. Keep it up and you will be BSB. No one can stop your parade.

 

[longfroinghair]

Just a quick rant.....I'm sitting at my moms table and she says:what if a year of you doing this your hair is still the same length? First of all 'this' is just me deep conditioning, washing once a week and moisturizing my hair daily. Nothing special, just normal hair practices. they did way more to my Hair at the salon.

YESS!!!! Exactly, at the bolded.

My mother says the same thing.... "Why you doing all this stuff to your hair....with all that you do to your hair it should be down to your butt by now"

O really mom?? I have all natural hair after my last relaxer less than 2 years ago....and it should be down to my butt *smh* And you know what "all the stuff I do to my hair" is??? Exactly what ur doing.

Deep condition Weekly.
Moisturize Daily.

So on the weekends when I'm deep conditioning, all I hear is... "You and your hair" "You wash your hair too much" "It's not gonna grow"

...And For some reason, she finds it strange that I choose to moisturize everyday lol. She actually says, wow...everyday....how do you keep that up?
After I tell her it's actually pretty normal to moisturize daily, she laughed and said "Well if that's normal, my hair must be suffering abuse, cause I do nothing to mine" That's the thing. Some people have a leave-it-alone policy and that works for them. But not everyone, and when she sees me trying to actively take care of my hair it does make her feel uncomfortable in comparison b/c now she feels like she's neglecting hers.

That's all it is.

But JUST DO YOU

Cause you know what? After about six months of doing what's best for me (no more hiding my natural hair under a weave, going pressed natural, moisturizing daily, and deep conditioning weekly) my mom surprised me by turning around and saying, "I wanna cut my hair off and start over"

I was shocked so I said "Why??" and she said "Your hair's so strong! I put my hands through it and it doesn't break off and feels so healthy. It grew so much, you couldn't even put in in a ponytail some months ago and now you have a bun! Is that a fake natural ponytail? My friend at work had one, but it wasn't as big as yours. Your hair looks nice

It's like she's not even the same person.

Btw, my mom's relaxed, and I assured her she doesn't need to be natural to have strong, healthy hair, and encouraged her not give up finding what works for her.

I love my family and friends....but sometimes. they're. wrong.
Just do you.

apologize for the novel

 

[fletgee]

Sigh. This is one of the reasons why I do not share my hair journey with others outside LHCF. It's just like when you let everyone know you're trying to lose weight. Everyone becomes the "diet police" and are critical every time you put something in your mouth.

Here we surrounded by a like minded community that offers and shares positive re-enforcement during our hair journey.

So I just keep my mouth shut, do my thing and smile as they watch the healthy transfermation of my hair.