Okay...the madness MUST STOP!!! (Child Abuse!!!!)

Wishin4BSL

Wishin4BSL

New Member
I have been meaning to write about this for a while because I wonder if this could count as child abuse. I'm working on my Masters in educational leadership, and for experience (until I can find a teaching job) I volunteer in a 1st grade class once a week. There is this one little girl who's mother has her hair braided in kinky twists so tight that she comes to school crying whenever she has it done. Now I've been volunteering in this class for almost an entire school year and I have watched this child's hairline recede(sp?) further and further back every month. At this point, the only hair she has on her head looks like one of those male ponytails where they shave off all of the hair except the crown. In the bald areas, the only thing you can see is very thin, soft baby hair. It's horrible. It's to the point where we try to loosen her hair when she comes to school because she's crying so much. She's the sweetest little girl, always does her work and plays nice and I feel SOOO bad for her. One day I actually had to bite back tears when I looked at her hair. I just wanted to ask if there is ANYTHING I could possibly do to help this little girl????
 
Awww...I hate when mothers do that to their kids..Maybe you should talk to the mother when she comes to pick her up:look:....I wouldn't call it Child Abuse...I could call it lack of knowledge in haircare/very poor judgement...
 
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YoungWavey said:
Awww...I hate when mothers do that to their kids..Maybe you should talk to the mother when she comes to pick her up:look:....I wouldn't call it Child Abuse...I could call it lack of knowledge in haircare/very poor judgement...
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I wouldnt know what to say...I wouldnt want to offend her...
 
YoungWavey said:
Awww...I hate when mothers do that to their kids..Maybe you should talk to the mother when she comes to pick her up:look:....I wouldn't call it Child Abuse...I could call it lack of knowledge in haircare/very poor judgement...
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I agree.

And I like the new rollerset in your album it's very pretty.
 
That is the saddest thing I've read today; I would definitely talk to the mother; she must think the girl is crying for some other reason.

Good luck!
 
Child abuse is a bit much. IA, that this is just a lack of knowledge. I use to get my hair braided so tight as a child (just how my aunt braided so it would last longer) where they abusing me not one bit. Where they ill informed about hair care? Yes, very much. I'd just explain how the child is crying when she gets to school and it looks as if her hair is coming out. Thank God my hair did not suffer from having it braided to tight. I have to let my sister know that she braids my daughter's her way to tight sometime, it's just how she braids and she is heavy handed
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That is no way child abuse...That mother is probably trying her best....My mother used to take us to get our hair braided with the beads at the ends and we would have headaches for days...Eyes would be so tight it was ridiculous...
I would just explain to the mother how miserable her daughter is at school after her braids are done....and let her know that is why her hair line is receding ......But don't be shocked if you get told off.....
 
This is more of a situation of poor judgement than abuse. Express your concern to the Counselor or the Social Worker. There should be a Counselor and Social Worker referral form at your school. Complete one, make a copy and alert the classroom teacher of your decision. Because you are a volunteer, this may need to come from the classroom teacher.
 
Wishin4BSL said:
I wouldnt know what to say...I wouldnt want to offend her...
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Here's some for thought

Hello Ms. whoever

Your daughter is doing great in class...She very smart/very nice to her other classmates/ never disrespectful...But lately I notice her "personal" issues have been effecting her from her focus in class..It seem that you have put some tight @$$ kinky twists in her hair...She seems very upset to the point she crying. Where the teacher and me had to loose to easily the pain...

How about that:rolleyes:
 
Oh, alright maybe not child abuse, but its just so sad and painful to see. Maybe its the combination of the weave and kinky twists that's pulling out her hair? I don't know, but I will talk to the teacher first and then see if she will talk to the mother. She probably won't want to hear it from a volunteer in her child's class.:perplexed

ETA: NOT AT ALL exaggeratting about that shaved ponytail thing...that's EXACTLY what it looks like. I would think the mother would notice this.
 
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Tell her point blank. Your child is coming to class crying every day because her braids are hurting her. Maybe the mother doesn't know it hurt her.
 
Wishin4BSL said:
I have been meaning to write about this for a while because I wonder if this could count as child abuse. I'm working on my Masters in educational leadership, and for experience (until I can find a teaching job) I volunteer in a 1st grade class once a week. There is this one little girl who's mother has her hair braided in kinky twists so tight that she comes to school crying whenever she has it done. Now I've been volunteering in this class for almost an entire school year and I have watched this child's hairline recede(sp?) further and further back every month. At this point, the only hair she has on her head looks like one of those male ponytails where they shave off all of the hair except the crown. In the bald areas, the only thing you can see is very thin, soft baby hair. It's horrible. It's to the point where we try to loosen her hair when she comes to school because she's crying so much. She's the sweetest little girl, always does her work and plays nice and I feel SOOO bad for her. One day I actually had to bite back tears when I looked at her hair. I just wanted to ask if there is ANYTHING I could possibly do to help this little girl????
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Since, you're volunteering at the school. I suppose you don't want to step on anyone's toes. If, I were in your situation. I would talk with the principal and maybe the teacher in the class and see what are the options. Something definitely needs to be done....
 
drasgrl said:
Tell her point blank. Your child is coming to class crying every day because her braids are hurting her. Maybe the mother doesn't know it hurt her.
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I bet ya $20 bucks the mother does know. She probably just don't care. It's sad but true...
 
How can you not care about the well being of your little ones hair? I pray this damage is not permenant or she is going to have a rough life
 
Even though the mother may not intentionally be abusing the girl, she is still being abused none-the-less, going to school in tears, hair being torn out by too tight braids, embarrassed and likely teased by other kids, and like someone said likely being smacked or told to shut up for crying over her painful hairstyle. Thirty years ago my mother told me about making sure nobody ever braided my hair too tight, the ignorance and insensitivity of the mother is staggering.
 
Do you by chance volunteer at an "inner-city" school? I'm asking because as somebody who has grown up in the "hood" (horrible word...but it is what it is) I'm going to say that the mother sees that her daughter's hair is coming out, but she can't be bothered to do anything about it because she herself may not have a hairline and generations of mis-education have taught her that that's just "what black girls hair looks like". So, she probably doesn't see what she's doing as "wrong". I mean, I would feel weary about talking about her, just because people are very sensitive about criticizing their parenting skills. But you owe it to this girl to say something.

p.s. I bet more than a gwuap that she get's popped when she cries.
 
Wantlonghair_1988 said:
Do you by chance volunteer at an "inner-city" school? I'm asking because as somebody who has grown up in the "hood" (horrible word...but it is what it is) I'm going to say that the mother sees that her daughter's hair is coming out, but she can't be bothered to do anything about it because she herself may not have a hairline and generations of mis-education have taught her that that's just "what black girls hair looks like". So, she probably doesn't see what she's doing as "wrong". I mean, I would feel weary about talking about her, just because people are very sensitive about criticizing their parenting skills. But you owe it to this girl to say something.

p.s. I bet more than a gwuap that she get's popped when she cries.
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Actually, it is an inner city school. When I go there on Friday, I'm going to talk to the teacher, and I actually know the counselor because she got her masters at UNF too. I will talk to her. Thanks for the advice ladies!
 
YoungWavey said:
Here's some for thought

Hello Ms. whoever

Your daughter is doing great in class...She very smart/very nice to her other classmates/ never disrespectful...But lately I notice her "personal" issues have been effecting her from her focus in class..It seem that you have put some tight @$$ kinky twists in her hair...She seems very upset to the point she crying. Where the teacher and me had to loose to easily the pain...

How about that:rolleyes:
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lmaooo your a trip. But its str8 and to the point. I agree
 
Well I agree with the bets placed by ~StillALady~(cute) and tsmith, but I can't help but to bet that once the mother knows about what's been going on.......ummm........she's going to reprimand her daughter for crying at school:sad: It's sad I know, but something definitely needs to be said.
 
tricie said:
That is the saddest thing I've read today; I would definitely talk to the mother; she must think the girl is crying for some other reason.

Good luck!
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I agree - maybe bring it up at the next parent teacher conference, and let her know you have observed her child crying in school because of the tight hairstyle, and you just want to bring it to her attention. Hopefully she will catch the hint.
 
hopeful said:
Even though the mother may not intentionally be abusing the girl, she is still being abused none-the-less, going to school in tears, hair being torn out by too tight braids, embarrassed and likely teased by other kids, and like someone said likely being smacked or told to shut up for crying over her painful hairstyle. Thirty years ago my mother told me about making sure nobody ever braided my hair too tight, the ignorance and insensitivity of the mother is staggering.
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ITA with this. If the girl is coming to school crying, then she is crying at home. Her mother is flat out choosing to ignore her child's extreme pain. She does not have to understand proper hair care techniques to understand pain. I know some people have had their own experiences with tight braiding and don't see it as abuse, but it sounds like THIS little girl is experiencing tremendous pain as her hair line is being receded.

To follow protocol I would definitely talk to the teacher and the counselor. I wouldn't wait either. :nono:
 
Wow! This is very sad. This is considered abuse. I remember when I was little, some of my friends' mothers would say the child to "shut it, it don't hurt" or " I'll give you something to cry about" when the child complains about the pain of getting their hair done.

I also have to agree, that if she is crying when she GETS TO SCHOOL, she is crying at home.

A few members on the site said that the mother is ignorant of how to do hair, so its not abuse. I'm sorry but it still is. A very high percentage of parents who abuse their children, have been abused themselves. This means that they are ALSO ignorat of more tackful and proper child rearing. I don't see how her ignorance is different to make it less abusive than the other.
 
I see it all the time when i work at summer camp for kids. Like the mom: i too am guilty of doin a siblings "TENDER-HEADED" hair and i'm like "SUCK IT UP" but I wouldn't damage their hair like that.

I see it in movies too w/ young black girls (not RAVEN): in "AKEELAH and The B", "Are We Done/There Yet?", and "Holiday Heart.....these little girls are wearing braids throughout the entire movie: even when their characters are displayed over a couple yrs: they still have braids. From "Are We There Yet" to "Are We Done Yet" the daughters hair line is completely GONE.
 
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