Not Happy!

[godzooki]

I'm so depressed! Tommorow is my sisters wedding and all along I had
been planning to wear my hair down but I cant. My hair has grown
tremendously but the ends are so thin and gappy theres no way I can
wear it down! its see thru, with gaps that look to be about two
inches! I am so tempted to just chop off two inches and be done! Its
too late to cut it for the wedding so I have no choice but to wear
it in a stupid bun. I tried washing for thickness and everything but
it's just too gappy. I mean the last two inches are sparse and I
dont understand because those sparse two inchs are even with each
other! the sides are so thick with even growth that its deceiving
when I wore it down cause the back is messed up and fans out looking
really gappy. I've tried to keep it smooth and together but it keeps
fanning out and almost moving over my shoulders! I thought about
curling the ends under but it's two inches and my hair will not hold
2 inch curls! I would have been so happy had it all been one length.
Now that my look for the wedding is all ruined I dont know what to
do. Yeah, I can keep bunning it but my moral is pretty dented right
now and all I keep thinking is at the end of these next 11 wks until
my next touch up I will just have 4 inch gaps of sparse thin hair
instead of 2. what should I do? Adrienne or anyone who grew their
hair and achieved thick length have you had this problem or should I
cut my losses? literally. I put pics in my picture trail album so
you can see what I mean there. someone
tell me what I should do cause I'm near tears.

 

[pooh123]

I am so sorry you are going through this godzooki. I really feel your pain. I think the best solution for this situation would be a roller set with smaller sized rollers. That would definitely give your hair a lot of volume and bounce and would look really good. Either that or you could put your hair up in a nice french bun.

Is it possible for you to see your stylist before the wedding for a quick fix? If not do you have a trusted friend that could help you style it?

Please don't chop your hair off. You've worked too hard. Please stay encouraged.
HTH!
pooh123

 

[AMBERSKYE]

Godzooki,

It'll be alright! I know you would like to wear your hair down for the wedding and you can if you really want too!
Pooh123 made a good suggestion~roller set with smaller sized rollers. Depending on the weather on the day of the wedding, you may want to wear your hair in an upsweep with tendrils hanging to frame your face. When it's very hot/humid, curls tend to drop and pinning your hair up might be the best thing to do.

Don't be down! You have been doing so well!

 

[honeycomb719]

I really feel your pain, because I'm suffering w/ thin gappy ends too. I have been seriously considering chopping off 2 inches too, because I know that how bad my ends look, they will just end up looking more raggady if I hold on to them. I'm not suggesting you do that, but I think it's the only solution to the problem I would try to grow it out then cut but, my hair grows tooooo slow.
Good luck at the wedding tommorrow. Your sis picked a wonderful day to get married it's my B-day also

.

 

[Nonie]

Happy B/day Honeycomb!

Godzooki, I was gonna suggest the same thing. Tiny rollers, or you could roll just the ends so that it kinda thickens and has a wave at the bottom. (I don't know if this can be done without using a curling iron.) I've never had hair your length when relaxed but I'm guessing this will work just from my experience with styling my braids. I love to wear a straight bob look with just the ends curling in or just curving in as if I had wrapped my hair. But sometimes I would put spirals at the ends for a rather neat look. I'd put all my braids in a pony tail at the top of my head and then take small sections (four at a go) and curl just the end spiral style. (I'd hold the curling iron vertically to achieve that downward spiral as opposed to horizontal whihc would give under-curve). So I'd get, instead of a curve like for a bob, a tendril. It'd give my ends this nice, rounded, full and interesting look. Curls don't hold well with my braids either unless I use a spray but even when that look kind dropped, it'd still look good. So perhaps you could try it, if you are not totally against using a curling iron even this once. I know this is short notice but some people have said Humectress (Nexxus) as a leave-in gives volume. Got some? I like Amberskye's idea. Sounds very Weddingish.

And don't cut your hair. Wait for it to grow a little longer then you can trim off the ends and still have it at a length you'll be happy with. I do feel for you. I really do. I haven't been where you are but I can imagine the heartbreak after looking so forward to it. But remember, we do judge ourselves harsher than the rest of the world. You may not even need to curl a whole 2 inches. An inch may be all that's needed and then when cool combing/picking them out might fill out the gaps. Remember if you do small roller sets, they'll overlap and give fullness. I'd focus on just doing the ends of your hair so that they'd give the illusion of being as full as the rest of your hair. Whatever you do, I bet my bottom dollar no one will suspect anything is amiss. No one but you. And the only reason you KNOW is coz you're a LHCFian. We do see more than most. But that's coz we know too much for our own good.

But we also do empathize better than everyone when we see what no one else does. Coz we understand the work that goes into getting where we are. So if anyone notices, they'd have to be LHCFian. And if they are, then they are on you side and your secret will be safe and unknown to anyone else. So you go and have a wonderful time. Your hair will look fine.

Hugs,

 

[godzooki]

Happy B-day honeycomb! thanks guys for the suggestions. I wish I could get in to see my stylist but she was booked solid and it's too late for anything else. Not only do I not know how to roller set but I dont have one [** potty mouth **] roller in this house! I didnt even have a [** potty mouth **] curling iron! I have some caruso steam rollers but the times I've tried them I've had very loose barely there curls so that wont work. I gave up and ran and bought a ceramic curling iron ( I threw my old one away along with my blowdryer in Nov 02 when I started trying to care for my hair better!) and will try my luck tommorow and see if I can do a tight curl that wont fall too bad exposing my thin ends but I also purchased a pretty pearl ponytail holder for my fricken bun that more than likely I'm gonna end up wearing. on the positive side I will try the curled side tendrils and I did make myself feel better by purchasing some pretty earings to wear with my bun and splurging on some MAC lip glass (never tried it and dont usually wear makeup). I'm just so disapointed cause I had really been looking forward to this and since I've been wearing my hair bunned so much I didnt really get to really examine my back until I was experimenting on how to wear it down and not ladden with water or moisturizers like it normally is. I didnt realize it was that fricken thin because in some of the pics I took its kinda deceiving. I dont understand it. I have no split ends and I've had a problem with shedding but never noticed breakage, and belive me I look at my hairs! could it just be my growth pattern zigzagging off and on back there?

 

[godzooki]

thanks Nonie. I ran and bought a curling iron! I'm gonna give it an attempt and hope for the best but prep my bun stuff too. This really sucks.

 

[Nonie]

Now go get some sleep lady. You need to look rested and fresh t'morrow. Gnite. I should be in bed too.

 

[MissM]

I know today is the day of the wedding but don't even think about cutting your hair!! Do you notice a difference in your hair when you have it professionally roller set? I think that would thicken your ends up. You also have to keep in mind that the ends are the oldest part of your hair and now that you are caring for it differently you will gradually be cutting away the oldest hair. Just grow it out and it will be fine.

 

[sassygirl125]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. But don't cut it yet! I agree with whoever said that you should wait until you get closer to your goal before you start evening it out.

 

[Stormy]

Hope it works out for you today godzooki! I know how you feel because my hair is like that on one side and I never saw any breakage and don't have split ends either. This happened to me once before on the same side, same area so I guess it's my weak spot or something. Anyway, I do roller sets too and it thickens my ends up a lot and hides that gappy area.

 

[Supergirl]

Did you air-dry? That makes ends look pitiful usually even when they're not. If you're able to read this before the wedding and still wondering what to do, perhaps get a curling iron in that hair to smooth out those ends!

 

[inthepink]

godzooki,

I hope everything turned out ok and that one of the suggestions mentioned here worked for you. Please let us know how it turned out! Good luck!

 

[henrilou]

You know I have the same problem. Or basically the same. But it isn't a pet peeve. I mean, I realize that the longer my hair get the older the ends. I think when your hair is bumped under (I looked at your pics), it isn't really noticeable. Maybe I'm the only one, but your pics weren't horrible, and I saw no reason to cut 2 inches off.

 

[godzooki]

thanks guys. I ended up trying to curl my hair anyway, and it came out half decent but the wedding was in Heatville Fresno and thanks to the heat and high humidity my hair was a frizzy,flat, droopy mess even before the guests arrived and I ended up putting it in a clip with a side sweep and loose tendrils before anyone even saw it down! Note: MAC lip glass and free flowing hair equals sticky hairy lips! I was spitting out hair constantly and having to peel it from my lips! anyway, I am back to bunning/ braiding protective styles daily now and my "momment" has passed. I was very disapointed but I still had fun. I was thinking that those hairs were the oldest also. they're thin and frail but not split. I think I'm going to try and not cut until my next touch up and hope for 2 inches of new growth so that when I do cut (slight trim to begin evening up) it wont look like too much was lost. I just really hate that I can't wear my hair down straight like I wanted to. It just looks so horrible on camera I can just imagine what someone in back of me would be saying!

 

[godzooki]

Just an update. apparently all it took for me to change my mind was another bad hair day! I tried to do my hair up in a nice clip today and saw how icky the ends went and snip! took off half an inch. I felt so much better that later that day I took off another half inch! yeah, I'm an inch shorter now but I never even touched the thickest part of my hair just those scraggly ends and its still about an inch of unevenness left! it looks so much better!! I miss that single inch already but I know its on its way back....hopefully with a few more "friends" this time!!

 

[inthepink]

It'll be back before you know it. Your hair will feel and look so much healthier when it does!

 

[godzooki]

I forgot to mention I had hubby take a pic of the 1 inch I took off. it doesnt even look like I did because I was not trying to even up but get the thin gappy ends but I took a full inch off all around albeit unevenly! at least it's not so gappy. just uneven. obviously I'm no where near ready to attempt a self evening job on my ends!

its also slightly damp cause it was up and I took it down to do the pic.

 

[adrienne0914]

umm... godzooki.. i'm about to start fussing!

i agree 100% with supergirl! air drying can make your ends seem kinda pitiful. they didn't look like that to me after your retouch. the main thing is this though... if they keep growing like that and you keep cutting because it's not <font color="red">perfect</font>, it will take that much longer to reach your goal!!

i'm not suggesting keeping unhealthy ends, but you yourself said that they were not split. so on down the road, i believe you should definitely handle this differently.

first of all, PLEASE do not plan out your hairstyle for a special occasion the night before!! you should be practicing the look at least a week before so that you dont' have any surprises.

now that you have the curling iron, i think that you should invest in some rollers. you can curl it the night before and roll it. leaving the rollers in overnight will almost guarantee that the curls will stay longer. even if you don't wear it down, you could wear it in a cute updo with the tendrils.

ok, i'm done fussing. and i said all that to say "girlfriend, step awaaaaaaay from the scissors and no one will get hurt!"

adrienne

p.s. i'm LMAO @ the Mac lipglass sticking to your lips. that happens on good hair days too. it is the only thing i hate about the stuff.

 

[godzooki]

hiarlove, your hair is awsome! I dream of getting mine to half that length!! I saw your creamy shea butter and I've been trying to do that forever! can you give me your recipe? I have aloe vera gel, lavender oil and a veriety of oils and I want to make a nice soft creamy shea butter also but all my attempts came out hard. (never thought to use aloe before though!) do you store your's room temp or fridge?
see my chop job? I obviously need to leave the cutting to the proffessionals but hey, it got rid of some of the gappiness so I'm happy!

 

[AMBERSKYE]

[ QUOTE ]
It'll be back before you know it. Your hair will feel and look so much healthier when it does!

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[godzooki]

Adrienne I swear I personally wont take scissors to my ends again this year! I think the wedding stress really put me in the dumps and I just couldnt get out until I did something drastic!