no manners

[simsim1980]

This is so sad for some people with long hair. When I see someone with long hair I like to compliment and ask what they are doing. So today I want to the beauty supplies store and I told this lady she has nice hair and what she was doing...this chick just looked at me and walk off. no thank u nothing and the lady in the store told me most of the ones with long hair are like that. This wasn't the first time something like that happened.
I understand if she couldn't wait, but a thank u would have been nice, she had no manners. Most of the women with long hair dont want to tell u what they r doing (not the ones on this board). There was a girl I know from high school that behave the same way, she would lie and tell u different things all the time.
I know I live in NYC but, It's just sad when some black women act like that.

 

[Crysdon]

Maybe it was a hair weave and she thought you were being funny. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

It's sad when women act that way. I get estatic whenever someone compliments me and ask for hair advice.

 

[adrienne0914]

yeah, it is sad that women act that way! i love it when people actually notice that my hair is healthy moreso than the length, but i take all compliments. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

usually, i'm chasing folks down the street with curl activator in one hand and a drawstring ponytail in the other... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

adrienne

 

[Paris Belle]

Adrienne you are too funny...

I live in NYC too and I find that I usually get dirty looks. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[brownrelaxedhair]

Adrienne, I'd be running behind you yelling 'No wait listen to her, S-Curl really works!! it works!!' /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

I laughed about the other thread saying the girl may have had a weave and took that as an offense /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[Allandra]

Geez, she could have at least said thank you. Well, I'm definitely not one of the long hair ladies that act this way. Like BRH, I would be running behind you telling you something like 'BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE'. /images/graemlins/smile.gif You get my point. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
usually, i'm chasing folks down the street with curl activator in one hand and a drawstring ponytail in the other...

adrienne

[/ QUOTE ] /images/graemlins/rofl.gif My goodness, I would be laughing my head off at such a sight! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Adrienne, I'd be running behind you yelling 'No wait listen to her, S-Curl really works!! it works!!'


[/ QUOTE ] LOL, y'all are killing me here! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Well, I'm definitely not one of the long hair ladies that act this way. Like BRH, I would be running behind you telling you something like 'BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE'. You get my point.

[/ QUOTE ] The three of you are something else! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[LondonDiva]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
adrienne0914 said:


usually, i'm chasing folks down the street with curl activator in one hand and a drawstring ponytail in the other... /images/graemlins/grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

You got me choking on my porrigde girl /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
I complented a girl I saw in the supermarket once on her hair It was so beautiful. The way the girl looked on me /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif was like I had just said something so indecent to her. Maybe she was shocked a black woman could actually complement her on her hair.

 

[sassygirl125]

I used to get weird looks, too. When I first moved to SC from GA I would compliment women with nice looking hair and ask them where they got their hair done. 5% would look at me like they just caught me sniffing my own armpits and the other 95% said they did their own hair. I just keep my mouth shut now...
LOL at the comment about the woman possibly wearing a weave! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[legs71]

simsim1980,

Because I know how shady people can be I am actually afraid to comment on how beautiful their hair is. The last time I got my braids done I was in a beauty supply store in Irvington, New Jersey purchasing the hair. There was an African American girl in there with the most gorgeous midback length hair I have ever seen in my life. It looked so soft and silky I was so tempted to reach out and touch it. I was comtemplating whether to compliment her hair on her hair and find out who her beautician was, but when she caught me admiring her hair she gave me shade. That nipped everything in the bud! If my hair were long and people complimented on how nice it was I'd probably talk their ear off and run down my entire hair story. I constantly get complimented on my braids, but I'm anxious for the day my "real" hair gets complimented on. That's the day when I will know I have defied the odds that african american women can't grow long hair. /images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

[Madison]

when i compliment a female on ANYTHING they seem to think im hitting on them /images/graemlins/crazy.gif. some women just arent used to other females giving them compliments /images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[Crysdon]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
when i compliment a female on ANYTHING they seem to think im hitting on them . some women just arent used to other females giving them compliments

[/ QUOTE ]

LMAO. You made me spit my coffe out Madison /images/graemlins/mad.gif. Sometimes I'm afraid that will happen to me, so I just bite the bullet and compliment them anyway.

 

[hairfanatic]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
simsim1980

[/ QUOTE ]

That really makes me mad! /images/graemlins/mad.gif You are right it would not have hurt for the heffer to say Thank You! I do not like sisters that are not willing to help other sisters, whether it's hair or anything else. I too used to know someone that would be very evasive about their hair growth...please. She's not the first and I'm sure she won't be the last person that you encounter like that. I'm so glad that we have sisters on this forum that know how to "KEEP IT REAL AND SHARE" information! /images/graemlins/smile.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[hairfanatic]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Maybe it was a hair weave and she thought you were being funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

Crysdon,

That is a good point and one I definately didn't think about...there can always be two sides to a story. /images/graemlins/smile.gif /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[pebbles]

In reply to:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when i compliment a female on ANYTHING they seem to think im hitting on them . some women just arent used to other females giving them compliments


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



LMAO. You made me spit my coffe out Madison . Sometimes I'm afraid that will happen to me, so I just bite the bullet and compliment them anyway.


LOL, @ the two you! You guys are so funny! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Julia]

You all are cracking me up. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif I have to remember what when I am at work I have to be composed...people in the offices around me must know that my outbursts and laughing out at are about something NON WORK-RELATED. /images/graemlins/naughty.gif

Jamaicans would call that kind of attitude "bad mind". Meaning that they do not want your compliment because they do not want you to ask them what they are using, because they do not want you to get any tips from them so that you can have nice hair too..
"bad mind" = /images/graemlins/angry2.gif /images/graemlins/angry2.gif /images/graemlins/angry2.gif

I just try to sense who I am dealing with and take it from there. If I am looking at a girl with nice hair, and she gives me the "look" I keep my mouth shut. Funny isn't it how we do not behave that way when people compliment us.

 

[BrightEyes]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
simsim1980 said:
This is so sad for some people with long hair. When I see someone with long hair I like to compliment and ask what they are doing. So today I want to the beauty supplies store and I told this lady she has nice hair and what she was doing...this chick just looked at me and walk off. no thank u nothing and the lady in the store told me most of the ones with long hair are like that. This wasn't the first time something like that happened.
I understand if she couldn't wait, but a thank u would have been nice, she had no manners. Most of the women with long hair dont want to tell u what they r doing (not the ones on this board). There was a girl I know from high school that behave the same way, she would lie and tell u different things all the time.
I know I live in NYC but, It's just sad when some black women act like that.

[/ QUOTE ]


Dag. Well if it helps, I know how you feel. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

I go to Hampton University, which is known for it's snobbish females. There are lots of nice heads of hair walking around, but I don't compliment most of them because folks here don't know how to say "thank you". I was paired up with a fellow nappy head for an English project and she was really nice. We finished the project pretty quickly and talked about hair for the rest of the time. I was thrilled, because such a conversation is SO rare for me in real life (not online).

However, I do understand why women in general (not just Blacks) don't share their beauty secrets. Women are judged by their looks a lot more than men are. Because of this, we feel threatened when we see a woman who we think is more attractive than us. And many times women who are always getting compliments on their pretty skin or hair don't want to share. Why help the competition?? That's like the Cowboy's calling the Redskin's and giving them tips on training and recruiting. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif I also believe that's why some lurkers lurk. Because they want to learn all they can without sharing any information.

I don't AGREE with that, but I DO understand!

 

[Julia]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I also believe that's why some lurkers lurk. Because they want to learn all they can without sharing any information.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was going to add a statement along these lines to my recent comment. I feel this way too. I understand why they behave this way, but a compliment is a compliment. When someone is nice to me, I try to return the sentiment. You are right, perhaps it all boils down to insecurity. But people who behave this way are silly, because there will always be someone who is prettier, or who has longer, healthier hair than someone else and one does not take from the next.

I have learnt so much from the women on this board. I learn from the posts, I learn from the pictures that are shared and I learn from the positive attitudes. This is such a peaceful place to share ideas/tips and to learn from one another. At least there are still women in the world who are not so insecure that they cannot share.

Blessings to Everyone! /images/graemlins/angel.gif /images/graemlins/angel.gif

 

[hairfanatic]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
However, I do understand why women in general (not just Blacks) don't share their beauty secrets. Women are judged by their looks a lot more than men are. Because of this, we feel threatened when we see a woman who we think is more attractive than us. And many times women who are always getting compliments on their pretty skin or hair don't want to share. Why help the competition?? That's like the Cowboy's calling the Redskin's and giving them tips on training and recruiting. I also believe that's why some lurkers lurk. Because they want to learn all they can without sharing any information.

[/ QUOTE ]

Brighteyes,

Now those are some thoughts for my behind! /images/graemlins/smile.gif Yes...Competition, that will create some attitudes. My thing is though, sure I will give you the information and you can learn my secrets, but if you don't use or know how to use them...they are useless. It's like a post we had where someone mentioned they were frustrated with their friend because she was always complaining about her hair. The person on this board gave her information and this site, yet she did nothing with it and her hair is still the way it is.

 

[BrightEyes]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
hairfanatic said:
My thing is though, sure I will give you the information and you can learn my secrets, but if you don't use or know how to use them...they are useless. It's like a post we had where someone mentioned they were frustrated with their friend because she was always complaining about her hair. The person on this board gave her information and this site, yet she did nothing with it and her hair is still the way it is.

[/ QUOTE ]


That's very true. But at least you shared. If the women doesn't want to listen that is her issue. It doesn't affect how good YOU look, ya know? /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[Guest]

Don't let it bother you. It's not just black women that behave this ill either. Other race women with long hair behave just as bad, IF not worse!

Long hair is not easily achieved and perhaps some women feel "threatened" if another woman has long hair too or wants to grow it out! They need to get over it.

 

[Guest]

Wow!

One day, when I have time, I'll have to post all my hair secrets on here.

I'm not a hater, but I do understand what a lot of you are talking about.

Some people are just rude anyway, hair or no hair, but long hair does seem to bring out the WORST in some folks. Just ignore.

You were nice, they were not, and they have the problem. Not you!

 

[Drea84]

Yes a girl I went to High School with grew her hair practically over the summer! When she came back I was just so amazed and I complimented her on the health and length of her hair. Being that I go to school in the city I was reluctant to ask her all her hair secrets. When I finally swallowed my pride and asked her she told me she was using her friends mothers good shampoo and conditioner /images/graemlins/huh.gif! Puhlease!!!

 

[Guest]

I have never had this happen before, and I am sorry that this happened to you. I'll apologize for her.

 

[moni]

I agree whole heartedly with you Julia. There is always going to be someone with longer, prettier hair. That is just the way it is. What is for you is for you, and what is for someone else is for that person. If I had super long hair and someone asked me what I did, I would go ahead and tell them. Why not. If its meant for them to have they'll achieve their goal and more with or without your help. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[inthestars]

Alot of women do not like people they do not know commenting on their appearance. When dealing with strangers, you don't know how they are going to react and it is better just to leave people you don't know alone.

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Alot of women do not like people they do not know commenting on their appearance. When dealing with strangers, you don't know how they are going to react and it is better just to leave people you don't know alone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't that a shame? Even a compliment can appear to be threatening. Definately a sign of the changing times.

 

[sassygirl125]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
When I finally swallowed my pride and asked her she told me she was using her friends mothers good shampoo and conditioner ! Puhlease!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

I have seen this kind of behavior, too. In my own family! Some of my relatives have had long hair their whole lives. They don't "do" anything to it--it just grows to mid back and stays that way despite whatever chemicals or crappy products they put in it. I remember when my cousin got a curl perm on top of a relaxer and pressed it with a hot comb twice a week because she didn't like the way it looked. Her hair was dry and frizzy looking for several months, but she didn't lose one single hair!
When people ask them for their hair tips, they will lie and rattle off all these crazy details and they think it's funny. /images/graemlins/mad.gif