NEWBIE NEEDS HELP--BRAIDS NIGHTMARE AND HUBBY WOES

[InJesusName]

Hello ladies!

I am new to this forum, and I have LOTS of questions! However, I wanted to share a little of my background and ask for some pointers before moving forward...

I attempted to start the Crown and Glory technique earlier this year, but had a terrible time with braiding my hair. I went to one of thoe "mega" African braiding salons, and had them put in micros (I used wet and wavy human hair). As Robyn suggests in her technique, I conditioned them the next day with Infusium and African Royale braid spray. Needless to say, two braids slipped out. To make a long story short, by the end of the week, nearly 60% of my braids were in the tub!!! I gathered them together and took them back to the salon, and they said I should not have wet them, and I could not get even a partial refund. So $210 later, I was back to my own hair which had not been relaxed for 9 weeks! What a mess.

It gets worse. I started lurking on this site not too long after that and discovered tree braids. I called ALL OVER the city and found only one braider that even knew what they were. I made anappointment, bought some hair and happily went to the shop. Unfortunately, the synthetic hair I bought (since I had such a bad experience with the human hair) must have been the wrong kind, because when she gave me the mirror, I looked like cousin IT from the munsters! I was in tears! After 10 hours in the salon and $120 lost, I took them out that night!

By this time, I am broke and frustrated, and I have to listen to my hubby's "I told you so's" because he does not like braids. I have not had a relaxer since 2/15/06, and he is now commenting on how beautiful my hair was when it was relaxed. He has also negatively commented on some of my friends' hair that have gone natural. No offense to the natural ladies out there, but 5 months relaxer free has made me re-think this whole natural thing. It is not for me. I am SICK and Tired of wearing my hair in a bun (b/c I have hardly any edges) or in phony ponies. I tried bantu knots and ended up with a dry, frizzy TWA, and I want to wait a little longer to get another relaxer.

Finally, to my questions... what did I do wrong with the braids? Do any of you have any suggestions on protective styles for someone who has edges that are so damaged, my harline does not start until mid-crown?

You guys are my support system until my hubby gets on board with me.

Thanks for letting me vent!!

 

[Wishin4BSL]

Well I don't have any suggestions as far as the hair, but I had the same problem with my SO a few days ago because I was 2 months post relaxer. I showed him IMO the best fotki out there (I don't remember her LHCF name, but her fotki name is JenniferMD) and he was on board from there because she stretched her relaxer for 9 months before. He said that if that was going to be the final result of this stretching and bunning, then he was on board. And don't worry, there's plenty of support right here on this board. Without these ladies, I don't think I would have gotten this far.

 

[FeelinIt]

Sweetie I'm sorry about your plight.

I'm transitioning myself and it sucks a lot yes, but there are ways to get around it.

Maybe you can try sewn in weaves. There's a girl at www.reniece.com who grew here hair by wearing weaves. It was thin and short and she grew it to BSL and beautiful. Make sure the weave is not sewn in tight. Make sure you moisturize it and wash weekly or bi weekly. Don't neglect your hair underneath.

You can try cornrows every now and then. Again, you have to make sure they are not too tight and to take care to moisturize your hair and wash and condition it.

Have you looked into the lacefront wigs? They give you the realness without the "commitment" of weaves and braids. Check out a search here for lacefronts.

Have you tried braidouts, twistouts, etc. I've seen women go to the shop, have their stylist braid or twist their natural hair down with rollers at the ends and sit under a dryer. You could try that or do it yourself.

Maybe you could do the BC and texturize.

You may also want to just go back to perming but in your case I would recommend little to no heat styling. Rollersets and things of the like only.

If you really want to be agressive and on point with your hair growth, do a cleanse, workout and change your diet from the ground up.

YOu can try castor oil to thicken up your edges and the braids are just not a good idea with your hairline condition.

There are other things you can do but keep looking and you'll find it

 

[Enchantmt]

I'm so sorry to hear about your hair woes, but you're here now so with the excellent advice the ladies have here you will soon be on your way to healthy hair!! The first thing I would do, if possible, is to make a doctors appointment to see if you can discover the cause of your thinning edges. It could be stress, too tight braids or weaves, bad reaction to chemicals, or any number of things. This way if there is a medical condition behind it you can tackle that as well as start healthy hair care.

If you havent already, check out the links in this thread:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=50291

DSD has put together an excellent beginners guide. Also check the sticky at the top of the page for hair breakage. As one of the other posters mentioned, many ladies use castor oil for thin edges, some have also used surge with success. I'm sorry your braids didnt work out, but if your edges are bad, its probably for the best. A lot of men reject "natural styles" because they see the length gone, and think it will be short forever. I didnt have a man to please when I did my BC, so I didnt have to deal with it, but I'm sure the other ladies who had difficult ones can give you tips. Eventually they call come around. Welcome to LHCF!! Good luck and happy hair growing!!

 

[dreysonsmommy2011]

Welcome to LHCF! I am currently following the crown and glory method and I wouldn't suggest getting braids done by the Africans because IMO they braid entirely too tight,too little,and charge too much! As far as washing braids...when they are wet they do slip out. I sometimes wash mine but if they slip out it is no problem b/c I do my own. Many ladies use Sea Breeze (an astringent you can find it with the facial products) to clean there scalps. My sis uses a q-tip to apply the Sea Breeze to her hair. Hope this helps you

 

[cutiebe2]

Micros are a NO-NO...I think Robin says that on the C&G site..
DOn;t just walk into any old salon just because they are the only ones who know how to do the style you want....in the salon rec. forum you can find thread about salons in different areas.

nikipoo-- if you don't get your hair done Africans then who does it???? I can't think of anyone in my area who does.

 

[InJesusName]

Thanks for the support ladies! I had to give you guys an update... this morning I wore my first bantu set, and my husband commented on how pretty and soft my hair was. You know I had to remind him that this was without a relaxer!!!! After much debate, I have decided that it may be best to try a Phyto relaxer later this year. In the mean time, I will probably try twist outs and bantu sets to get my hair stronger. I'll post pics really soon

 

[mags23]

Hi,

I had the a bad experience with braids a few weeks ago. I've tried the human hair and followed the crown and glory method. I kept them in for awhile. Once removed, my hair was extremely thin. I cut my hair ear length and starting over. I suggest doing braid-outs/twist-out and cond. your hair. start a routine that works for you. No more braids for me.

 

[punchinella]

Welcome to the forum,
It sounds like all the ladies have given you some great advice. I pray everything works out well for you. If you follow the suggestions and be patient, I know you will be pleased in the end.