Welcome HunnyBunny.
My suggest to you to help you on your way to long healthy hair would be first try to identify what your hair likes. For you, it may take some time experimenting with different products until you can find a routine that works best for you. Black hair requires moisture, moisture, moisture and more moisture. The best moisture we can give our hair would be water and that can be replenished during a shampoo, rinse or a condition wash. Some advise to shampoo hair at least every three or four days, but I find every 5-6 days is more effective for me. Why? My hair barely sheds if washed and conditioned properly and requires barely any moisture until my next wash. I notice I lose more hair about the 5th to 6th after my last wash. I use this to dictate how often I should wash my hair, however, I never go longer than a week. So to say, if I washed my hair on a Saturday and for some reason, my hair is coming out a little more on a Tuesday, then I will wash my hair that Tuesday. If I washed my hair Saturday and it's coming out a little more by Thursday, then Thursday I'll wash to replenish moisture.
When washing, you only want to wash away surface dirt and oil, not your natural oils. So therefore, after washing, your hair should feel somewhat slick, not squeaky clean. If so, you could be stripping your hair therefore damaging it. The trick, try to use a shampoo that's sulfate free as sulfates are a DETERGENT and we all know how harsh DETERGENT's are. We used them to wash clothes, carpets and etc. Obviously, the substances are much stronger than hair strands. Many of us on the board lather our hair once to maybe twice. Recommended shampoo's from what I've read that are pretty good would include, Crème of Nature, Jason's, Aubrey's, BreakThru and Elucence.
Now you its time to condition your hair. There's different options you can take depending on the products that you use. However, the hair requires protein treatments which are the same as reconstructors. Don't be fooled by the labeling. Some protein you can use every week, some, every other week, others once every 6 weeks. I find the protein that you can use every week would be more of a creamy consistency. I like to leave protein on my hair for about 30 minutes with heat. Some mix their protein treatments with olive oil to add moisture. You must remember, protein helps strengthen our hair, but it's a drying substance. You MUST follow a protein treatment with a moisturizing conditioner. Some use only a leave-in, others use a crème and sit under a dryer, or rinse off within a few minutes. I like to leave on my crème moisturizing conditioner for about 10 minutes with no heat then rinse. Recommended crème protein treatments include Motions CPR, ORS Hair Mayo. Recommended strong Protein Treatments would include Aphogee Treatment for Damaged Hair. (I think that would be unanimous on this board). Recommended moisturizing conditioners would include far too many to name, however, I find many are found of Mizani Moisturfuse, Hydrafuse and Motions Moisturizer. Some of my personal moisturizers include, Mizani Moisturfuse, Ultra Black Hair Dew Leave-In, Elucence Moisturizer, Arosci Leave-In Conditioner, Professional Rx Leave-In Conditioner.
I prefer leave-in conditions over setting lotions as they do an excellent job detangling, softening and moisturizing my hair. I use only Leave-in to roller set my hair. I really love Arosci and Professional Rx. Maybe some of the girls on the board can give you recommendations for setting lotions.
Now, it's time to dry your hair. I think everyone will agree NO HEAT with the exception of a hood dryer. Heat damages, PERIOD. No if ands or butts lol. I roller set my hair and sit under a hood dryer on a cool-warm setting. Others wrap, dry their hair using a ponytail method, or air dry.
Ohh, as for daily maintenance, there's different options to use. I like to spray leave-in conditioner on my hair if it requires moisture. No, it does not cause frizzes with me because I usually will do this at night and immediately wrap my hair thereafter.
Good Luck