Natural/Relaxed Dilemma

[Russet]

So i've been going back and forth on going natural or keeping my hair relaxed for about a year already including 3 attempts to transition. I just ended a 4 and a half month stretch today. Here's why-

I was transitioning with weaves/half wigs and HATED not being able to wear MY hair out. My hair had been growing out from a neck length bob and it was too short for my liking to wear out. The styles I was wearing with the weaves/half wigs I loved, but I felt fake! I hate to have to wake up and put a wig on before I leave the house cause my hair looks a HAM, or too short to do anything I like. I like big hair, which is why I wanted to go natural in the first place. But I gave in today after thinking about how much I missed my hair and I thought the only way to rock my hair is to keep it relaxed and healthy.

But I feel like I made a HUGE mistake by relaxing. I was already 4-5 months in and now I feel if I start over, i'll be starting from scratch.

Since my hair was so uneven, I had my stylist give me an asymmetrical bob. Chin-neck length. I don't know what to do. I wanna be natural so bad I want the thickness, curls, I want to grow it out long, but why is it so hard for me? I HATE my haircut. I feel like slapping on this half wig.

Any advice?

 

[sweetlaughter]

bumping for you because I am sure that there are women on this board who have gone natural from short relaxed lengths such as your bob.

 

[Roux]

Seems like you need some styling options for wearing your hair out while you transition. I think if you're okay with your length now it won't be hard to maintain it at that length with trims while it grows out until all the relaxed ends are gone.

Honestly I waited until my hair was a certain length relaxed to begin transitioning because of better styling options. Didn't make sense to a lot of people but I felt that it helped me tremendously.

 

[sweetgal]

Have you decided that you are going to tranistion again?
If so, I think one of the easiest ways to do this is to either big chop or decided to hide your hair for a little. If you decided to hide your hair, just braid it up and forget about it for 6-12 months, or until you think it has grown to a point that your comfortable.

I'm currently transitioning and hiding my hair through wigs. I have to hide my hair or else I would relax for sure! I think the most difficult time is when your hair is shorter-after that period you will feel more comfortable.

Let us know how it's working out for you!

HHG

 

[Golden75]

I did the same in 2009- 7 months post, got frustrated, relaxed, and regretted it. Now I'm 6 months post. In a weave, tired of it, will prob do 1/2 wigs, but have same feelings as you do. But just try to stick this one out, if you really want to transition. i think the last relaxer really made me decide thats it, and it sounds like you're at the same point. So try to grow it out and maintain health, and stay focused on your ultimate goal. Maybe do weaves with leave out, so it doesn't look too fake or do a few tracks (3-4) in btwn your hair to give you length & style optionsand still have access to your hair (of course take very good care of leave out hair)

 

[Russet]

Thanks everyone, I think what made me relax the most was not being able to just feel my own hair. Falling asleep in braids and waking up to put on a wig before leaving the house was just way too much. I will try this again though. I found another way to wear this 1/2 wig and i'm liking it so far. I just wish I hadn't relaxed after almost 5 months! Ugh, now I have to start over from scratch.

One more questions-
Will hiding my hair make my growth rate slow down? My mom thinks I should let my hair "breathe" so it grows back out quicker. She says hiding it will only stall the growth rate. What do all think?

 

[PAgirl]

I transitioned from short VERY damaged relaxed to semi-healthy apl....it is possible but it takes time and patience.

If you like big hair try finger detangling on dry hair....it made my hair Chaka Khan big.

My advice would be either bc or long term transition...if you don't like it you can always relax later.

 

[Russet]

Thanks alot! I'm back to my 1/2 wig now and I will be co-washing and keeping my hair in 2 french braids underneath the wigs for now until I get alot of NG. I now have shorter hair than when I attempted to transition in Aug., so this might be easier. Since if I do decide to transition long term, I have less relaxed hair to worry about. Let's see how this works out.