Natural Hair and Interracial Relationships

[Candy1978]

This is a video that I did recently about my transitioning to natural hair, and being in an interracial marriage. Check it out let me know how you like the video, and your thoughts on the subject matter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3c8qSHiSrs

 

[Mz.Shug]

Cool vid. I've been transitioning for 7 months now and my husband,who is Mexican, actually prefers my hair natural.Weird though I get more support from him than i do family and friends who say I need to press my hair or get "conked".

 

[Candy1978]

Isn't it ironic!

 

[Leesh]

I don't have an opinion on this topic as of Yet, but I must say, Your statement at around Time:2:14 Blew My mind, You had Me tearing up for a minute, That is a Beautiful thing, You are Blessed to have Someone who cares for You that way, But as for the Topic at hand, I haven't had time to think on it, but I shall return, Just had to respond to that particular statement.

 

[Charz]

Cool vid. I've been transitioning for 7 months now and my husband,who is Mexican, actually prefers my hair natural.Weird though I get more support from him than i do family and friends who say I need to press my hair or get "conked".

The bold is the same for me too.

 

[Taina]

Cool vid. I've been transitioning for 7 months now and my husband,who is Mexican, actually prefers my hair natural.Weird though I get more support from him than i do family and friends who say I need to press my hair or get "conked".

My hsuband is also mexican!
And as Mz. Shug, my Hubby prefers my natural hair than reaxed (and so his family). He even chop my hair when i did the BC. He is being so supportive and caring ... he understand my hair dramas as well and he understand all the things i'm doing now ...

 

[Bella_Atl]

My boyfriend is Persian. When we first started dating him I had a weave and everytime he tried to touch my hair he would get the "karate chop." LOL!

He loves my hair natural.. He just doesn't get why I will only jump in the shower with him on Sundays and Weds now (my wash days.)

 

[Mz.Shug]

My hsuband is also mexican!
And as Mz. Shug, my Hubby prefers my natural hair than reaxed (and so his family). He even chop my hair when i did the BC. He is being so supportive and caring ... he understand my hair dramas as well and he understand all the things i'm doing now ...

What a blessing! I don't know if I can trust my husband with scissors though...

 

[Candy1978]

I am blessed, I have a great husband who is supportive. Like I said in the video, it is such a trip how you get more support from non black people......

 

[Mz.Shug]

My boyfriend is Persian. When we first started dating him I had a weave and everytime he tried to touch my hair he would get the "karate chop." LOL!

He loves my hair natural.. He just doesn't get why I will only jump in the shower with him on Sundays and Weds now (my wash days.)

 

[CurlyMoo]

Cool vid. I've been transitioning for 7 months now and my husband,who is Mexican, actually prefers my hair natural.Weird though I get more support from him than i do family and friends who say I need to press my hair or get "conked".

It's a blessing to have those that we are closest to except who we really are.

 

[ActionActress]

Candy 1978 I agree with you and it has been my experience also. There is "freedom" of being natural in interracial relationship. I think if men seek out black women, they enjoy her in her full beauty. I see alot of men of other races/ethnic background with sistas with natural hair- sometimes they try to convince the woman to go natural if she's relaxed...With that said, whether she is natural or relaxed, as long as her hair is nice, neat and clean. The man is happy.

 

[ActionActress]

The bold is the same for me too.

Hey Charzboss! Cute guy.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Candy 1978 I agree with you and it has been my experience also. There is "freedom" of being natural in interracial relationship. I think if men seek out black women, they enjoy her in her full beauty. I see alot of men of other races/ethnic background with sistas with natural hair- sometimes they try to convince the woman to go natural if she's relaxed...With that said, whether she is natural or relaxed, as long as her hair is nice, neat and clean. The man is happy.

Many of these men also have an idea of what type of Black woman they want. And it makes sense to expect to be with a woman who is her natural self instead of getting involved with a Black woman and trying to make her more like his race. That's like me getting involved with a blue eyed blond and telling him to darken his hair, put in a curly perm and get a dark tan. It makes no sense. I would be disappointed if he started to change who he is because he's dating a Black woman.

 

[ActionActress]

Candy,

Do I have permission to post this on my blog?? (I would like to comment about it--positive of course and refer to your blog.) Also I am going to put your blog on my blog list sis!!

 

[ActionActress]

CurlyMoo,

You are on point and right on target!!

 

[Ronnieaj]

My SO is black, but I've been in interracial relationships before. I was relaxed when I was with my previous boyfriend, and when he saw me for the first time since I've been natural this year, his first response was "cool hair! you should've worn it like that when we were dating!" Made me smile --we had a whole SLEW of other problems! My current boo put up with the transition period, bless his heart. He even combed my hair when I got lazy and didn't detangle, and had started crying trying to get through it. He prefers my hair curly, and his favorite style is the big ol' afro that I occasionally rock. I think I've been fortunate though to have people so appreciative. I'm glad that you ladies have someone so caring and supportive of your decision, and LOLOL about the jumping in the shower only on Wednesday and Sunday!!

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Well I suppose I am the exception. My DH is white and hated my hair. It was a big source of stress between us (usually unspoken). I asked him when I first started transitioning what he thought about kinky hair and he said he preferred straight long hair. I told him that I would mostly wear it straight, just press and then occasionally wear a fro. He seemed happy with that.

As my transition went on, I realized that I didn't want to wear my hair that way. I wanted to wear it natural and I didn't want to potentially damage my hair with a lot of heat. So I went back on what I said and then I chopped my hair off early (at 6 or 7 months, instead of 1-2 years) so I had a short fro. I asked him before hand and agonized so much that he told me just to go ahead and do it.

Those early weeks were bad, because I'd just catch him staring at my hair with a big frown on his face. Coupled with my own doubts about my hair, I started to think I'd made a big mistake. Things went like that for awhile, with him mostly saying nothing (except for the infamous "is that a hairstyle?" remark when I was trying something new).

Now that my hair is longer and I'm more capable of styling it, he's actually given the occasional compliment here and there. He likes twist outs and braid outs, and of course, he loves it when I straighten it. He does not like twists, braids, or my fro. Again, there's been no at length discussion, but I can just tell when he compliments the twist outs.

So...no, my DH of another race does not like my hair, my natural hair. But as he said to me awhile back "I am in love with you, not your hair".

I accept that.

 

[Neith]

Some black men like natural hair, some don't. Same thing goes for white men or any color man out there. Imo.

I do find that many black men have similar hair/color issues that some black women have about hair and other African features. Then again there are plenty non-black people who find afro hair texture to be ugly and many of them have their "color issues" as well.

Everyone's an individual

I'm happy that my bf of 3 years didn't freak out when I went natural.

Good luck to those who are going through that!

 

[Michelle1971]

Some black men like natural hair, some don't. Same thing goes for white men or any color man out there. Imo.

This is true
My DH is white and has seen it all with me. Relaxed, transitioning, loose natural, locs, bc after locs, loose natural, and locs again. Honestly, I would feel some kind of way if he told me that he only likes straight hair...but he doesn't. Or that he didn't support me in my hair decisions. He just wants me to be happy with my hair and he always likes it.
The only thing that he has said to me with my hair is that he doesn't want me to chop it all off when we get old. He hates the old lady with short hair look

 

[ActionActress]

I think overall I find that many men of other backgrounds find natural hair unique. But you do have your exceptions. But it has been stated by lots of black women I know and on hair boards and in other circumstances that while in interracial relationships there is not only hair freedom but skin complexion freedom also (another discussion).

Yes some black men do like natural hair and give praises to it, but it *seems* that many may prefer straighter relaxed more so than natural.

There are numbers of white men who may not like natural hair, well that's them, and I think if we consider such a relationship it is good to find out first before going ahead with him to prevent heart ache about being a natural you. I think this is what many black women fear. But as I said, I think we worry too much and to a great number of black women out there, there has been natural hair freedom.

Just my take and observation.

 

[Candy1978]

Candy,

Do I have permission to post this on my blog?? (I would like to comment about it--positive of course and refer to your blog.) Also I am going to put your blog on my blog list sis!!

Sure!! Feel free to add it to your blog. Also i appreciate you putting me on your blog list!!!

 

[Candy1978]

Well I suppose I am the exception. My DH is white and hated my hair. It was a big source of stress between us (usually unspoken). I asked him when I first started transitioning what he thought about kinky hair and he said he preferred straight long hair. I told him that I would mostly wear it straight, just press and then occasionally wear a fro. He seemed happy with that.

As my transition went on, I realized that I didn't want to wear my hair that way. I wanted to wear it natural and I didn't want to potentially damage my hair with a lot of heat. So I went back on what I said and then I chopped my hair off early (at 6 or 7 months, instead of 1-2 years) so I had a short fro. I asked him before hand and agonized so much that he told me just to go ahead and do it.

Those early weeks were bad, because I'd just catch him staring at my hair with a big frown on his face. Coupled with my own doubts about my hair, I started to think I'd made a big mistake. Things went like that for awhile, with him mostly saying nothing (except for the infamous "is that a hairstyle?" remark when I was trying something new).

Now that my hair is longer and I'm more capable of styling it, he's actually given the occasional compliment here and there. He likes twist outs and braid outs, and of course, he loves it when I straighten it. He does not like twists, braids, or my fro. Again, there's been no at length discussion, but I can just tell when he compliments the twist outs.

So...no, my DH of another race does not like my hair, my natural hair. But as he said to me awhile back "I am in love with you, not your hair".

I accept that.

Well atleast you know he really loves you

 

[Damaged but not out]

Hmmm, when i was at home alot of men got angry with me when i relaxed, then informed me would could never get together( my loss im sure). And after I relaxed i recieved much more attention on the nightlife scene. But i believe that was because my hair was longer relxed than it had looked in twists.
So at the end of that ramble i'm going to have agree and disagree equally, in my generation and location( mid 20s and Caribbean). Where it concers black men.

On topic though I'm transitioning to natural and my Indian bf is very happy, he liked my hair long when relaxed but he likes the idea of me being natural and away form chemicals wayyy more . But im sure if i was dating a guy from home he would be ok with the outcome. Not the drama associated with the transition ,but the fro would be welcomed.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Thats wonderful Candy, you and your hubby seem really happy and its great that he accepts you fully.

The last guy I dated was mixed with like 50-leven different things, clearly not black, but clearly not white, half indian trinidadian, half jewish, he was the kinda person people look at and just squint because they can't place him but the one thing they all knew was he's ridiculously gorgeous. 6 foot 2 muscular, true gentleman........wait what was I talking about again?

Anywhoo at one point on our first date I said to him, you know my hair is straight right now (I happened to be rockin a press and curl) but I'm actually completely natural and sometimes I wear it in a huge fro......before I could finish my sentence he was like "Seriously?!?!? I find that to be SO sexy. I LOVE natural hair"....I was like :blush3:

Yea he was a dream.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Well I suppose I am the exception. My DH is white and hated my hair. It was a big source of stress between us (usually unspoken). I asked him when I first started transitioning what he thought about kinky hair and he said he preferred straight long hair. I told him that I would mostly wear it straight, just press and then occasionally wear a fro. He seemed happy with that.

As my transition went on, I realized that I didn't want to wear my hair that way. I wanted to wear it natural and I didn't want to potentially damage my hair with a lot of heat. So I went back on what I said and then I chopped my hair off early (at 6 or 7 months, instead of 1-2 years) so I had a short fro. I asked him before hand and agonized so much that he told me just to go ahead and do it.

Those early weeks were bad, because I'd just catch him staring at my hair with a big frown on his face. Coupled with my own doubts about my hair, I started to think I'd made a big mistake. Things went like that for awhile, with him mostly saying nothing (except for the infamous "is that a hairstyle?" remark when I was trying something new).

Now that my hair is longer and I'm more capable of styling it, he's actually given the occasional compliment here and there. He likes twist outs and braid outs, and of course, he loves it when I straighten it. He does not like twists, braids, or my fro. Again, there's been no at length discussion, but I can just tell when he compliments the twist outs.

So...no, my DH of another race does not like my hair, my natural hair. But as he said to me awhile back "I am in love with you, not your hair".

I accept that.

Wow, thats deep KcCurly.....this raises an interesting question....is it fair to flip the script on someone from the way you met them?

I think I may start a spinoff thread on this:scratchch

 

[sharifeh]

I'm glad you guys have met so many great guys that like african hair the way it is. But most of the non black guys I've met think it's ugly, so you guys' stories give me hope.

 

[Whimsy]

My SO is white and loves my hair, loved it when it was texlaxed too. I met him when my hair was at it's longest (WL) and texlaxed, then I chopped my hair off to a TWA and he didn't blink an eye. He doesn't care what I do with it, and hair really is not an issue in our relationship.

Interesting video, I'm mad at the gum tho LMAO

 

[3akay3]

My SO (he's Greek and Mexican ) and I have been dating for about 3 1/2 years... My hair, up until this past September, was almost APL.

He always tells me how much he loves my hair down and constantly plays with it so I was nervous to tell him I made the decision to cut to mid NL, begin transitioning and what that entailed. I almost died when he said "cool" and started talking about soccer like I had asked him if pizza was ok for dinner or something.

I got less support from my aunt and best friend.

 

[november wind]

That's love right there when he says, "If you're happy with yourself then I'm happy" My husband is a 64-year-old Irish/French man who just wants me to see the same beauty in myself that he sees. I'm am so blessed that absolutely everyone in my family, male and female, are pro natural. I'll be finishing my BC soon, and it really helps to have everyone I know in my corner.