My mother's embarassed of my nappy roots...

[Liberianmami26]

so im just on here to vent.
well im planning on transitioning for the long haul and currently im almost like 4 months post relaxer and i just measured and i have like an inch and a half of new growth so yes the napps are very noticeable.

well my mom's friend is like having a dinner to celebrate her 40th birthday so i was like i'll go sure.

and then my mom asks me what im gonna do with my hair i told her i was going to straighten it like i had on black friday(pic in latest album in profile) and she was like um no u have too much new growth and im like u thought i had got a relaxer and i had the same amount of new growth so wats the problem. and she was like it has grown in the last week so it will be more noticeble and im like no it wont cuz i got a color and i dont see no black roots and then she was like well there is going to be a lot of people and thats just gonna look embarassing you either need to get a wig or perm that cuz ill basically look like the poor village children back in liberia who got their hair press cuz they couldnt afford a perm and it was just thick and nappy underneath (im just like dont laugh at this point dont wanna be disrespectful cuz that sounds crazy erplexed). so u cant go around my friends with your hair looking like that cuz its not that long and it is not a salt and pepper cut to look good (my hair right now is in my latest album in my profile) so try and cover that.

i just walked away cuz im not even six months post and im dealing with this what will she do when my hair is one year post if she embarassed now i guess she gon have to disown me cuz im doing the big chop in 2010 and no body can tell me different. im not relaxing my hair cuz i hate how it feels when its wet its too thin and everytime my kitchen area grows and i relax it always fall out so guess its gonna be war between the two of us. cuz its nappy roots from here on out and i will be getting it pressed for graduation so she just gonna have to deal with that no disrespect.

well that feels so much better now that ive vented and oh my mom is in twist so she has like dreads so isnt this a lil ironic.

 

[**Jade**]

awww girl I feel your pain my best friend is Liberian and when she went natural her mother also had a HUGE problem with it... then she got dreads and until they got long her mother always said she needed to get a perm and why did she do that to her hair and what not... but now (Masunoh's dreads are beautiful and down the middle of her back) her mother is always saying how beautiful her hair is....just woooo--saaaaa this too will pass

 

[Liberianmami26]

i know i just try for it not to get to me every time she makes a negative comment about my hair when im home but it does get to me and i find myself saying i should just relax to make her happy and i have to like snap myself out of it cuz i will hate my hair if i relax again i been relaxing since 6 and im loving my roots right now. im just gonna try to keep it weaved or braided while im home so i dont have to hear it cuz u know we dont have that privelege of telling our parents off. im doing this for me im graduating from college next year so im doing what i want and that includes cutting off these relaxed ends.

 

[**Jade**]

ever thought of just cutting it off?

 

[MissNina]

so im just on here to vent.
well im planning on transitioning for the long haul and currently im almost like 4 months post relaxer and i just measured and i have like an inch and a half of new growth so yes the napps are very noticeable.

well my mom's friend is like having a dinner to celebrate her 40th birthday so i was like i'll go sure.

and then my mom asks me what im gonna do with my hair i told her i was going to straighten it like i had on black friday(pic in latest album in profile) and she was like um no u have too much new growth and im like u thought i had got a relaxer and i had the same amount of new growth so wats the problem. and she was like it has grown in the last week so it will be more noticeble and im like no it wont cuz i got a color and i dont see no black roots and then she was like well there is going to be a lot of people and thats just gonna look embarassing you either need to get a wig or perm that cuz ill basically look like the poor village children back in liberia who got their hair press cuz they couldnt afford a perm and it was just thick and nappy underneath (im just like dont laugh at this point dont wanna be disrespectful cuz that sounds crazy erplexed). so u cant go around my friends with your hair looking like that cuz its not that long and it is not a salt and pepper cut to look good (my hair right now is in my latest album in my profile) so try and cover that.

i just walked away cuz im not even six months post and im dealing with this what will she do when my hair is one year post if she embarassed now i guess she gon have to disown me cuz im doing the big chop in 2010 and no body can tell me different. im not relaxing my hair cuz i hate how it feels when its wet its too thin and everytime my kitchen area grows and i relax it always fall out so guess its gonna be war between the two of us. cuz its nappy roots from here on out and i will be getting it pressed for graduation so she just gonna have to deal with that no disrespect.

well that feels so much better now that ive vented and oh my mom is in twist so she has like dreads so isnt this a lil ironic.

Oh WOW @ that statement. Ain't that bout something crazy.

I mean, since it is your mom's friend, ask if she would like you to still attend or not b/c your hair will be the way you told her it would be. If she says no, then don't go. That is your mom and, even though her opinion on this is str8 wackalicious, I think you should give her that option.

But just remind her that, unless she plans to hide you away like some leopard for the next few years, she might as well just get used to it and not be so concerned with what other ppl think about her or her children. You will be taking care of her when she gets older, not them.

 

[Liberianmami26]

yeah i told her i couldnt go cuz i did not budget on gettin anything for my hair like i dont mind getting a wig its just the way that she said it still bothers me and plus i just did all my christmas shopping so thats not in my budget right now so ill be staying home.

and jade i dont want to cut right now cuz its just gonna make it harder to deal with and plus i want the length for graduation and after that i dont care how short it looks as long as its free of the relaxed ends so i can start growin it like pinkskates lol i want that big hair and i dont look right with a bone straight weave so i wouldnt look right with long super straight relaxed hair.

 

[Gracie]

OK...help me out. I thought most Liberian people embraced natural hair textures and styles.

 

[Sui Topi]

I wouldn't generalize the whole community like that lol. Different people have different opinions where ever they're from.

 

[Liberianmami26]

umm mine are really americanized so not really in the car ride back home yesterday my mom was saying that kids that are mixed always come out looking better and her friend and i had to correct her. like i hate when people ask me if i dont speak another language since i was born in liberia and i have to tell them no my mom wanted us to be as americanized as possible while back home and she recently just locked her hair she has a long way to go and she among of few of my family member who do. i she still thinks having free natural hair makes u look like a poor village who cant afford to get her hair done she still has a long way to go to and she turns 50 in 2011.

 

[Gracie]

I wouldn't generalize the whole community like that lol. Different people have different opinions where ever they're from.

Normally I wouldn't but the Liberian ladies that I know told me that.

 

[jerseygurl]

I don't know why your mother would say things like that. One of my closest friends is Liberian and her whole family rock their natural hair, from the mom down to the youngest. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Have youu ever tried a straw set or spiral set? It blends both textures really well.

 

[BostonMaria]

I would just let her talk and just keep doing what you're doing. Don't disrespect your mom, but just let her comments roll off your back.

My mom complained when I was transitioning, mind you I was 36 when I decided to transition. She wasn't thrilled with my decision... but now when she sees how long and thick my hair is now she only compliments me. I love that she accepts my hair now, but either way I wasn't going to let her comments make any decisions in my life.

 

[wish4length]

my mom had a problem when I was transitioning too.
She complained about my nappy roots and i said "you gave them to me"
Never once complained after that.

 

[BostonMaria]

my mom had a problem when I was transitioning too.
She complained about my nappy roots and i said "you gave them to me"
Never once complained after that.

LMAO!!!
That's what I don't understand. I've seen people get angry over their daughter's decision to go natural, yet they're the one that gave the nappy gene LOLOLOL

I wanted to tell my mom that she married my nappy headed father, so what's the problem? LOL She thought he was fly back in the 60's LOL

 

[Liberianmami26]

my mom had a problem when I was transitioning too.
She complained about my nappy roots and i said "you gave them to me"
Never once complained after that.

gurl u crazy but that is true cuz my dad got like 3bc hair so them roots in the front are all hers i got the 3c in the back though lmao

 

[Evolving78]

tell you won't go then if you are such an embarrassment to her. you are on a mission as far as your hair is concerned and that is not about to change for her and her friend's party. i have no problem telling my mother about herself when she gets disrespectful and out of line with me. you don't have to be nasty, but she will get the message.

 

[Solitude]

A lot of our mothers have a long way to go in their thinking about hair care.

 

[bludaydreamr]

my mom had a problem when I was transitioning too.
She complained about my nappy roots and i said "you gave them to me"
Never once complained after that.

LMAO! I loved my dominican blowouts; my sisters told me that I was going to relax as soon as I saw nappy roots. When I told my mother was transistioning, she could not understand what I was going through and was irrated by my decision (espeacially because she was the last person to put a relaxer in my hair). She said "how are you going to wear it in an afro?" I immediately said YES, if that is the way it grows! Now that it has been almost 2 years since that relaxer, and my baby sister is also natural; she admits that our hair has not been as healthy thick and full since we were children. OP she will evetually see the error in her ways, if not it is still your decision.

 

[1QTPie]

I've been natural since 2002. It's almost 2009 and mother has had a problem with my hair since the big chop (I didn't really transition) And guess what? She deals with it, I laugh at her, I'm grown. Her issues are not my issues.

But if you can't stand up to her: do a tight rollerset, buy a pretty scarf, finger comb to keep most of the curl and tie the scarf around the edges. Good look and she'll leave you alone.

 

[Muffinz05]

I know what your going through because I went through the same thing with my mother and get this, she's natural too. My hair was BSL when I did the big chop and I cut all off and left about 1/2 inch. When I was growing it out she would say that I need to press and curl it or get a perm because it was looking raggedy. All I can say is try to ignore the negative comments and just do you. I think I earned a degree in selective listening dealing with my mother.

 

[sheba1]

Liberianmami, I'm so sorry. I just wanna say I understand your pain. I cover my hair most of the time, but I've been natural a long long time, now. About 10 years ago, I remember I had this great BAA and I wore it out one day, feeling all sexual chocolate and beautiful, ya know? But my Mom was sooooo horrified! hahahaha Sigh, that's the way it goes sometimes. Hey, well fast forward 10 years and my Mom is now a past SL natural that wears her natural hair in twists 100% of the time. Who'd of thunk it?! All the same, it is so, and I hope your Mom finds her acceptance of your and her naps. Hugs for you.