My mom was living on borrowed time and i kept forgetting that. I was blessed that I lived with my mother for the past almost three years. She would come into my room without knocking asking me what I was doing. She would leave and come back thirty minutes later and ask me the same question and i would pause and say what I had said earlier. She was a hoot. She had a stroke in 2012 and lost her voice, she could talk we just could not understand her and we all tried hard to figure out what she was saying, It was hard. Sometimes it was very hard and sometimes it was easy as pie. She would end up going back to the hospital and staying close to a month at time for illness that we could not catch she would say she doesn't feel well, but could not tell us what was bothering her. Eventually, it would get so bad we had to call an ambulance and still not know what was wrong. Shes been great since I went back to work, not ending up in the hospital for 2 years. but she developed a UTI and UTI' s are dangerous in the elderly, my mother was only 75 years old. We were set to go on vacation next month and she got sick, my dad called me at work to tell me she had to go to the hospital and that this may be the end for her and through my shock I raced to be with her but before we got to the hospital she recovered quickly. I spent the day with her anyway. Then I went back to work, she just had a UTI and will have to stay a bit, but will be fine. But since she came in mirroring a stroke she went to ICU and then eventually to her room. I came up a few times, and more when she went to rehab, in Rehab she was trying to escape and that is not my mom. I was shocked at that. So during this time, she wasn't being very friendly, now I know it was she just wanted to go home. But couldn't yet, we had to make sure she could balance herself and go up and down the stairs and we found out she would go home this Tuesday and so I didn't go and see her on Friday, I planned to go see her on Saturday morning. but waiting for my daughters to come to the house which they did we didn't get ready right away. What I didn't know was when my daughters arrived. My mom had already passed. they worked on her for 2 hours. Didn't call us. Finally they called us and ask us to come to the hospital and told us that she had passed and we were in total and complete shock, Shock. I am having the hardest time forgiving myself for not seeing her on Friday for not kissing her and telling her I Love her that one time. I was upset when I left her becasue she wasn't really interested in us and kept leaving us and so I said bye Mom i'll see you tomorrow, and I didn't come the next day. I got home to late from work. She passed away and I can't say those words to her again. I won't see her when I come home from work, she was always sitting in her chair and looking for me, everyday. my mom has 7 children, but I was the sentimental child and I was always here with my parents. I didn't get in my mothers face, she is from the south, not very affectionate but we were always a close knit family. I have things at my house or my church or my functions and they would come and be apart and I would come and be apart of theirs. I did really good by my mother, but oh I could have done so much more, I could have. We will lay my mom to rest Monday, June 19th. I have had barely five minutes without weeping for my mom. I am doing everything I need to do, but she was my connection to who I am and now its broken and I find it unbearable. The things I would say to her if she was still here. My dad said that I have done all a daughter should do for her mom. I should have no regrets, but I do, there was more I could have done, but I loved my mother, I hoped she knew that