KiniKakes
Well-Known Member
...the couch with the plastic on it. 
We were talking on the phone last night, and he started off the conversation very positively. He was just telling me how proud he was that i was so dedicated to this goal, and how he could tell my hair is growing and if that makes me happy, it makes him happy.
However, he then said, but there's something i have to say to you: "I feel afraid to touch your hair, to caress it or stroke it.... because you make me feel like im going to break it or harm your progress. I feel like I have to just admire it from a distance, like the couch your grandmother protects with plastic, that you cant really enjoy."
I was stunned that he felt that way. I was like, "Sunshine, Ive never said you couldnt touch my hair or put your hands in it..... I'm fine with you stroking it or caressing it. Thats fine." Although in the back of my mind I was thinking, as long as that's ALL you do.
And he was like, "Well that's not how you make me feel. I feel like you're growing it long and it looks nice, but I cant enjoy it. I feel afraid to even touch it, because you might yell at me. I want to be able to play in my gf's hair."
I was like, "Well what exactly do you want to do with my hair? You are right, I do not want you pulling it or messing with the ends, or twirling it around your fingers like you do your own..... We have totally different hair textures, and you can treat your hair a certain way and it continues to grow, but if you are that rough with mine, it can break. If you want to stroke it, that's fine. You just have to be careful, you know?"
Either way, the conversation ended..... and by the end I had convinced him that I just had a goal to meet, and by the time i reached it i would wear my hair out more often, and that he would be allowed to touch it and stroke it gently as often as he liked. (I mean, technically he can do that now, but I guess its not as satisfying for him when its in a bun).
Anyway, does anyone else feel that their hair has become the "couch with the plastic on it" at their grandma's house? Has anyone in your life complained about this....... and, if so, do you care? If so, what have you done to try to accomodate that person? I have to admit, when my BF said that, i chuckled and acknowledged that in a way, he was right. I am VERY cautious with my hair, and try to protect it from destructive elements at all times.
I just wonder if im really going to become any less "paranoid" or hair-conscious once Ive reached my ultimate goal, like I promised him? Or will i continue to forever live my life treating my hair like the "couch with the plastic on it"?
We were talking on the phone last night, and he started off the conversation very positively. He was just telling me how proud he was that i was so dedicated to this goal, and how he could tell my hair is growing and if that makes me happy, it makes him happy.
However, he then said, but there's something i have to say to you: "I feel afraid to touch your hair, to caress it or stroke it.... because you make me feel like im going to break it or harm your progress. I feel like I have to just admire it from a distance, like the couch your grandmother protects with plastic, that you cant really enjoy."
I was stunned that he felt that way. I was like, "Sunshine, Ive never said you couldnt touch my hair or put your hands in it..... I'm fine with you stroking it or caressing it. Thats fine." Although in the back of my mind I was thinking, as long as that's ALL you do.
And he was like, "Well that's not how you make me feel. I feel like you're growing it long and it looks nice, but I cant enjoy it. I feel afraid to even touch it, because you might yell at me. I want to be able to play in my gf's hair."
I was like, "Well what exactly do you want to do with my hair? You are right, I do not want you pulling it or messing with the ends, or twirling it around your fingers like you do your own..... We have totally different hair textures, and you can treat your hair a certain way and it continues to grow, but if you are that rough with mine, it can break. If you want to stroke it, that's fine. You just have to be careful, you know?"
Either way, the conversation ended..... and by the end I had convinced him that I just had a goal to meet, and by the time i reached it i would wear my hair out more often, and that he would be allowed to touch it and stroke it gently as often as he liked. (I mean, technically he can do that now, but I guess its not as satisfying for him when its in a bun).
Anyway, does anyone else feel that their hair has become the "couch with the plastic on it" at their grandma's house? Has anyone in your life complained about this....... and, if so, do you care? If so, what have you done to try to accomodate that person? I have to admit, when my BF said that, i chuckled and acknowledged that in a way, he was right. I am VERY cautious with my hair, and try to protect it from destructive elements at all times.
I just wonder if im really going to become any less "paranoid" or hair-conscious once Ive reached my ultimate goal, like I promised him? Or will i continue to forever live my life treating my hair like the "couch with the plastic on it"?
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I give him the evil eye and he laughs, but he already knows how far to go.
erplexed , my BF knows that's the only time it's off limits. So um yeah I know what he means, I'm braided up right now and unless I have something in my hair, then it's okay. I agree that once you reach your goal then play time can begin, but don't be afraid to let him play in it once in awhile...I mean as long and he's not swinging from it you should be fine. 
