Long, healthy hair = ISOLATION!?

[lynnstar]

A few people have said in the past "it's not that serious". A few months ago I was at a family gathering with clean hair in a side bun. Another relative came in with shoulder length, delicately crispy hair. She immediately asked in it's all mine. Then she said "I'm gonna have to see it in a bun to tell how long it is"! Say What!

When I left she followed me out to my car, and started pulling the hair pins out of miy hair! She kept saying "I HAVE to know how long it is"!!!

I would have been like

 

[Coco*Colada]

This post reminds me of my trip to a few stores and a restaurant yesterday . I was with my DH and son and we went to a restaraunt to get takeout. Three elderly ladies (50-65) were in there waiting on their food and they were icing me and my hair. I was wearing a WNG since its so hot so it was waistlength curly. It was just amazing to me that somebodys grandma, hell maybe even great-grandma was hating on me and my hair My hair has always been long even HL or longer as a child . My mom trained my sister and I to keep peoples hands out of it early on. I used to wonder why but now I definitely understand. She said she always had problems with having super long hair and keeping girlfriends around so she told us to make friends with girls who were just as attractive with hair like ours

Anyway later that day we went to Sam's for my salmon craving lol and a woman was walking down the aisle staring at me. We kept passing each other on different aisles and she was literally staring at me and grabbing at her husband's arms holding him closer to her as we passed. I was perplexed to say the least because I was with my own damn husband and son and its not difficult to see I'm pregnant my little belly is starting to poke out . Again this woman was much older than me. I'm 25 and she was at least in her 40's. When I was younger things like this would get to me so I wore my hair up but that didn't stop anything so I said f&ck it. I'm not going to be ashamed of myself because others are insecure with themselves.



Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF

Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF

 

[Myjourney2009]

This post reminds me of my trip to a few stores and a restaurant yesterday . I was with my DH and son and we went to a restaraunt to get takeout. Three elderly ladies (50-65) were in there waiting on their food and they were icing me and my hair. I was wearing a WNG since its so hot so it was waistlength curly. It was just amazing to me that somebodys grandma, hell maybe even great-grandma was hating on me and my hair My hair has always been long even HL or longer as a child . My mom trained my sister and I to keep peoples hands out of it early on. I used to wonder why but now I definitely understand. She said she always had problems with having super long hair and keeping girlfriends around so she told us to make friends with girls who were just as attractive with hair like ours

Anyway later that day we went to Sam's for my salmon craving lol and a woman was walking down the aisle staring at me. We kept passing each other on different aisles and she was literally staring at me and grabbing at her husband's arms holding him closer to her as we passed. I was perplexed to say the least because I was with my own damn husband and son and its not difficult to see I'm pregnant my little belly is starting to poke out . Again this woman was much older than me. I'm 25 and she was at least in her 40's. When I was younger things like this would get to me so I wore my hair up but that didn't stop anything so I said f&ck it. I'm not going to be ashamed of myself because others are insecure with themselves.



Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF

Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF

See this right here is so strange to me. That folks are that insecure. I would have only been admiring the length and NO MORE.

I guess because I've seen my share of woman with really long hair I dont get all crazy.

There was only one time a few years ago when someone I know was tranistioning. She had gone to get a flatiron job and her dam ponytail was almost WL and it was soooooo thick. I was slightly envious for all of 2 mins but I did not get all crazy. By the end of the night I had forgotten about her ponytail. It just isnt that serious for me.

 

[howyoudoin]

Sometimes i get funky attitudes from other women when i wear my out , but once i start talking to whoever it is they seem to calm down a little, i think its because some black women with longer hair really do act kinda stank like they are all that, so a lot of people just think that your gonna be that way, it like they want to beat you to the punch. Women arent the only ones that get mad when they a chick with nice hair, there this i dude i known for like 5 years but i only run into him sporadically, he always say dumb sh t to me , "your hair look good" how much did you pay for it!? I dont even bother correcting his dumb *** , he one of those weak *** black men that chase after fat white women and just hate on black women period.

 

[Relentless]

I deal with the same thing. It's sad an unfortunate; however, your hair is your glory. It is their problem! When I wear my hair in a bun, all is well with the world but as soon as I get it flat ironed those same people get instantly brand new! Keep your head up and like someone said earlier, enjoy the fruits of your labor.

 

[Candy828]

You know what? It is like this all over the world.... I have been to many countries and I get long hair checked and hated on by foreigners too. I am not over weight, educated and have money. Attract men of all nationalities.. so I am public enemy no.1 .. I need my LHCF women daily... I could not function with out the Long Hair Boards Inspiration!

 

[Soquin]

Not just a female thing. I see guys do this to each other all the time. (My ex was a pretty boy pacifist and guys wanted to kick his a$$ all the time because of the way he looked.) Heck, even animals do it. Haters gonna hate...

The same thing happened to me when I lost a lot of weight. I thought I'd gain acceptance but I actually lost a lot of friends due to jealousy. What a blower! That's why I'm kinda glad my hair shrinks up to my shoulders. I have this fear that some hater-*bleep* is gonna cut my hair off when it's longer. LOL

U didn't lose any friends hun. You found out who your true friends were (or discovered individuals who were merely posers). Let everyone hate. Just continue to live your life, without regards to the haters. Or use their jealousy as fuel to keep going.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

You know what? It is like this all over the world.... I have been to many countries and I get long hair checked and hated on by foreigners too. I am not over weight, educated and have money. Attract men of all nationalities.. so I am public enemy no.1 .. I need my LHCF women daily... I could not function with out the Long Hair Boards Inspiration!

True.

I have to say that I pretty much only get love from my family and friends about my hair. I'm not usually in the mind frame of picking up on hate from other black women with shorter hair, not to say that their arent' any. It's just usually admiration and compliments followed by what do I do to my hair and I openly share what I do.

I feel more hate from white women and women of other nationalities. It's like they feel I'm not suppose to exist with hair just as or even more lustrious than theirs.

Some black men treat like a diamond in the rough because of my hair length. It's a catch-22 because it makes me wonder how they would treat me if my hair was shorter. Most are convinced I'm mixed and I can't tell them otherwise.

I do have a sister who spends a lot of money going to a salon faithfully to maintain the health and length of her hair. I feel her hair would get even longer if she didn't because her hairdresser regularly trims, which I feel is unnecessary because my sis literally does not touch her hair between visits. No heat and very little if any manipulation. Anyway, when my hair started growing near her length and a little past she gave a rake through of my hair and the surprised "You hair is grooowing?!" She has a little competitive streak towards me, which I find very irksome. I was born with a built-in hater I've had no choice but to love and have in my life. I recently made a conscious decision to not have anymore close female friends because throughout my life that has been a dynamic that spoils the friendship. Not just due to my hair...I've been a magnet for the "keep my enemy close" type.

 

[Yellowflowers]

I can't figure out if I'm hurt or just plain old annoyed. Ever since I decided to grow my hair out two years ago, and actually DID IT, I have seen the ugly side of this business erplexed Friends actin funny, Girls on the street givin me the side-eye, and family....and I now use that term loosely....where do I start?? Weave checks 24/7, talkin behind my back sayin I'm lying bout my hair....sayin its ain't tracks so it must be strand by strand.......and the jealousy is taking all new heights!! Ppl start trying to find other flaws of yours that they can pick on to make themselves feel better...instead of just asking what my hair routine is....I don't get it, but I feel sooooo isolated since reaching BSL and I plan to keep growing so what gives?? Anyone else with similar stories??

Hey, I feel ya! I have a problem with hating females, Their self esteem is soo low until they are intimidated by women who have anything they don't have whether it be your hair or something else.

There is nothing uglier or more pathetic than a CRABish hating female.

These types of females do not have anything of value to offer or contribute in any way so you are better off without them.

Keep on doing your thing. You have proven you can achieve whatever you want and those haters can't stop you no mater how ugly the behave.

Look at your beautiful hair!

 

[HauteHippie]

SvelteVelvet

I hear you completely. The women who were catty towards me were mostly Dominican and Indian. Not that I expected anything from anyone. I'm friendly, but I get that not everyone is like that. So... a neutral stance would be nice.

Now that I've experienced the hating on a new level... I'm just over it. I can't get upset about it like I did before, you can only live YOUR life, you know? So whatev. I don't actually have long hair yet, but for those of you who are where you want to be, congratulations! And don't let anyone steal your thunder!

 

[levette]

You said it. They can't tell me nuthin now.

Here's the fabulous checklist otherwise known as your too fly and haters gonna hate.
1. Healthy glowing clear skin
Check - you get a sneaky side eye

2. Healthy hair at any length
Check u get the side eye and sucking teeth ***( This is me)

3. Healthy BSL and beyond hair Check
You get rude outbursts and unsolicited comments about how its a weave and if they know it's real how you should be wearin it or how to care for it as if you weren't doing a great job already.
Depending on the length and thickness the longer it is the more they wantro prove it's fake bc they know after WL it's real.
weave checks and people u know and total strangers declaring you a liar.

4. Toned and fit body regardless of actual dress size
Check their wishing you'll blow up and saying things like oh just wait until you have kids subtexts you wont be cute for long and then you'll be out of shape and flabby like the rest of us.

5. Your a stylish fasionista and you always look good causual or dressed to the nines heels and all.
Check. Who does she think she is. She ain't cute I bet she falls on her arrs in them high heels. Etc.

Now be prepared if you have all your ducks in a row they will hate
You may even be called a heaux without them ever seeing you with multiple men ever. That's to block all the male attention you get too.

* You hit this one on the head.

 

[Giselle685]

. I'm not going to be ashamed of myself because others are insecure with themselves.



Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF

Sent from my HTC EVO using LHCF

If you never said anything else in this thread.. THIS would be sufficient

 

[Barbara]

It's not just black women! After a six month, wig wearing stretch, a white co-worker aked if my bun was "all mine". No one else asked that question. She then proceeded to ask if I planned to wear my hair like this all the time. Why does it matter? She still never came out and said it looked good.

Just wait until I do my October relaxer, I'm gonna add curls, then she can just swallow her teeth!!!

This happened to me the first morning on a few new temporary jobs. I didn't even have my hair down, just in a bun. I've been even asked to take it down so they can see, and they wait for me to take it down, while office onlookers stop working and stared. So I take it down after they ask me several times.

Wow, erplexed you should have seen the look on their faces when they saw my hair was just as long or longer than theirs!

 

[Valerie]

People get very upset, when black women have long hair and that blows the theory that you have to be mixed to have long hair. People like to talk about what is not possible and when you don't agree with them, agrue about it.

 

[levette]

People get very upset, when black women have long hair and that blows the theory that you have to be mixed to have long hair. People like to talk about what is not possible and when you don't agree with them, agrue about it.

Isn't this a sad thing for us.

 

[PJaye]

This happened to me the first morning on a few new temporary jobs. I didn't even have my hair down, just in a bun. I've been even asked to take it down so they can see, and they wait for me to take it down, while office onlookers stop working and stare. So I take it down after they ask me several times.

Wow, erplexed you should see the look on their faces when they see my hair is just as long or longer than theirs!

Unless an instance of spontaneous combustion occurred, taking my hair down in order to satisfy someone’s intrusive curiosity would never be an option for me. My hat goes off to you because you're much more accommodating than I am.

 

[NikkiGirl]

^^^
I agree. They would have to wait until I decide to wear it out.

 

[TLC1020]

I wouldn't care... I would continue growing my hair......

 

[mimi73]

I wouldn't care... I would continue growing my hair......

Same here. I am not worried about others. lol

 

[knt1229]

I can understand being tired of the jealousy. But I have had women get an attitude when you do tell them their hair is nice and ask what they do to it. These chicks act like somebody is throwing shade for giving them a compliment. But the one thing I have learned from LHCF and from life is to NOT comment on a black woman's hair. Period. Don't ask what how she cares for it. Don't tell her it looks nice. Because no matter what you say or how you say it she will find some reason to call you hater or to perceive your compliment as backhanded.

Sorry you have had bad experiences OP. But this thing works both ways. Some chicks want someone to hate on them so bad they make it hard for women who really do get hated on to be taken seriously.

 

[lovelylc]

"Sorry you have had bad experiences OP. But this thing works both ways. Some chicks want someone to hate on them so bad they make it hard for women who really do get hated on to be taken seriously."

AMEN! I can count the times one hand that someone has been outright nasty to me regarding my hair. For the most part people either stare or compliment me and ask me questions about it. I'm sure there are lots of times that people think it is fake and that is understandable, so I don't let myself get annoyed by that. Now someone reaching for my hair pins will get you hurt.

"But I have had women get an attitude when you do tell them their hair is nice and ask what they do to it. These chicks act like somebody is throwing shade for giving them a compliment."

Sometimes I see women with a beautiful head of hair and want to compliment them and they have their nose up in the air like I'm offending them. I chuckle and think good gracious, you didn't discover the cure for cancer or split the atom, you just grew your hair out. Get over yourself already. LOL.

 

[Yellowflowers]

She is not being salty or think she all that, but sometimes those nice compliments are often followed by sly negative ones, such as "I used to have long hair but I cut it off. It bothered my neck or it was tooo hot" or "I know Pookie and them's got a cousin with hair longer than yours etc". Sooo What! It's only hair.

Some women will make it a point to go up to her to say things like that? If she's not trying to critique other women's hair so why do they feel it's OK to do it to the girl who wears her hair long.

We live in the free world and people are free to wear their hair anyway they please.

Of course not all women are on this level and their compliments are genuine but she 's probably used to the negative comments followed by the compliment and just want's to go on about her business.

If I don't know her personally or she look preoccupied I keep it moving but I don't make any assumptions. She doesn't want nobody hating on her. She just doesn't know me.

 

[Barbara]

Unless an instance of spontaneous combustion occurred, taking my hair down in order to satisfy someone’s intrusive curiosity would never be an option for me. My hat goes off to you because you're much more accommodating than I am.

I would rather for them to ask me, than to put their hands in my hair. They saw firsthand that African American women can grow their hair to considerable lengths. This disspells the myth that our hair can't grow.

I had a shocking weave check two years ago from an older African American coworker (64 years old). She thought my bun was attached. Even when my stylist trimmed six inches off my hair, she didn't believe me after I took it down, parted my hair with my fingers.

Two months later, she caught me off guard by doing an extensive weave check. I posted about this experience two years ago.

 

[Barbara]

^^^
I agree. They would have to wait until I decide to wear it out.

They would have waited for another six months to go by, because I don't wear it down often.

 

[hola_lo2002]

I can't figure out if I'm hurt or just plain old annoyed. Ever since I decided to grow my hair out two years ago, and actually DID IT, I have seen the ugly side of this business erplexed Friends actin funny, Girls on the street givin me the side-eye, and family....and I now use that term loosely....where do I start?? Weave checks 24/7, talkin behind my back sayin I'm lying bout my hair....sayin its ain't tracks so it must be strand by strand.......and the jealousy is taking all new heights!! Ppl start trying to find other flaws of yours that they can pick on to make themselves feel better...instead of just asking what my hair routine is....I don't get it, but I feel sooooo isolated since reaching BSL and I plan to keep growing so what gives?? Anyone else with similar stories??

You'll get used to it! I've been dealing with that kind of BS since I was like 6 years old. People hating on the texture and the length of your hair! Just like you, even members of my own family were critisizing my sister and I because we had nicely defined hair (yes, this also includes my grandmother among others ). It sucks but it also shows who you can trust and who you have to be careful with... The only thing that matters is what you think about your hair. If you're happy, then screw everyone else.

I have to admit that the most annoying thing for me is when some chicks walk behind me on purpose and start talking loud and making negative comments about my hair like : '' look at that girl and all that hair! She's acting like it's hers and she thinks she's all that.....'' The sad thing is that things like that are usually coming from black girls like me. I must say that comments like those made me a more patient person lol

 

[PinkGirlFluff]

I was weaved check in my former relaxed life. I have been nappy checked with my natural hair and I am not even at my year anniversary after the BC (chopped down to less than half of an inch). Unfortunately we as sistas have been brainwashed into thinking that our hair can't be healthy, that our hair can't grow long, that our hair is not manageable. I don't think I have ever lost a friend over some hair though. I'd be quick to tell a chick to just throw some weave on that mug and keep it moving. We can be swinging and blinging, or be froliciously fly together. Fake it until you make it! lol.

 

[PJaye]

I would rather for them to ask me, than to put their hands in my hair. They saw firsthand that African American women can grow their hair to considerable lengths. This disspells the myth that our hair can't grow.

I had a shocking weave check two years ago from an older African American coworker (64 years old). She thought my bun was attached. Even when my stylist trimmed six inches off my hair, she didn't believe me after I took it down, parted my hair with my fingers.

Two months later, she caught me off guard by doing an extensive weave check. I posted about this experience two years ago.

Any co-worker touching me without permission would’ve been roughly pushed away before being reported to the HR Dept...regardless of age and sex. Again, you are much more accommodating than I am; no one is going to commit a battery on my person in order to satisfy their curiosity, especially in the work place.