Inconsistency...my biggest challenge to having long hair :(

[RabiaElaine]

Hi Ladies,

I'm looking to vent a little and get some advice.

I have always been interested in hair since I was a teenager. Back then I was interested in style and look as opposed to health. Then in 2003 I guess I was on the search for something about hair on the internet, and happened upon the long hair care forum. I fell in love instantly with all the ladies here.

I have been an on again off again person when it comes to my hair and even being on the forum. I've learned soooooo many wonderful things on this forum that I would NOT be able to learn ANYWHERE else!

Anyway I think the biggest problem for me is being inconsistent. I can't seem to stick with a regimen. I start something and after a few weeks I stop. My hair grows but something I choose to do causes damage (dominican blow outs caused thinning at the ends), I don't moisturize consistently, I haven't been deep conditioning lately under my hooded dryer (I let the conditioner sit in my hair while I wash up and shave), I was on vitamins but then stopped.

And what does this cause...slow progress in the retention of my hair's length.

In the past few months I have been consistent about 2 things: stretching my relaxers and protective styling, which I am seeing benefits from!

Does anyone else have this issue??

What can I do to become more consistent...so that I can reap the benefits of longer healthier hair?

Have any of you been able to overcome this challenge?

 

[NeeSee]

I kind of do. I get frustrated when after all my hard work, I experience some kind of breakage. I've decided to allow a professional to do all of my chemical work from now own. But don't give up. Be patient and remember that in the end all your hard work and effort will evetually pay off and it will have been well worth it.

 

[macherieamour]

Girl, I think weve all struggled with this issue.

For me, I find something that works, see results....then get bored. Its almost like I need the challenge again

Ugh, I was soo good on my low heat challenge over the summer and then I got my hair trimmed and blow out for a trip to Miami a month or two ago. I felt my hiar crying when he was blow-drying and told him that. He was like, Girl, your hair is so healthy it can take it. Its like all protein

And that started the heat world tour I went on, blowdrying, flat ironing, curling. And the worst....I stopped wrapping and started sleeping on cotton pillowcases . Split ends popped up all over the place and my hair went back to feeling like straw.

I did this kinda stuff while I was younger and while my hair still grew, it was much nicer, shinier, healthier when I was on my boring roller wrap, Keracare regimen. Check out some of my recent posts like Relaxed heatstylers or Relaxed people who use heat all the time, something like that. I was like, I use heat all the time. Everyone was like, okay....... I soon found out the error of my ways Sooo, Im back on my old regimen. Boring, consistent but it works for me. If I change again, it will be integrating more protective styles and no heat techniques. High heat reserved for special occasions.

These are all lessons you have to learn. As long as you learn from your slip-ups, you are on the right track. But know that you are not alone!

 

[Cichelle]

All I can say is that the one thing that helped me with consistency was to keep it as simple as possible. In other words, I got rid of some things instead of adding them. I know myself, and if it is too complicated (and for me that is not much), I'm not going to stick with it. I say just choose the things that you think are most important and stay with them. It seems you have been doing that as far as protective styles and stretching your relaxers. The rest just do when you have the "passion" for it. I know I go through periods of time when I never deep condition. But I am very consistent with my daily cowashing, no heat and protective styling. I am just now feeling like adding a weekly deep conditioning treatment to my regimen. But I don't know how long I'll stay with that. I guess as long as I am having fun with it.

Basically, I try to treat my hair gently (cause no damage) and stick with the basics of good hair care.

 

[SohoHair]

I'm guilty of this as well. The only thing I seem to be able to stick to is taking my supplements, other than that I'm all over the map, sometimes I won't moisturize, sometimes I go longer without washing than I would like, and I am the WORST at taking care of my hair at night before I go to sleep. For me it helps to keep my goals in mind. I keep in mind how much better I will look with long healthy well cared for hair, as opposed to broken off, sad, neglected hair. I've also decided I will reward myself in some way after I reach each of my goals. I've got a pair of earrings calling my name after I hit shoulder length, which should be any day now...

 

[HoneyDew]

All I can say is that the one thing that helped me with consistency was to keep it as simple as possible. In other words, I got rid of some things instead of adding them. I know myself, and if it is too complicated (and for me that is not much), I'm not going to stick with it.

Well, my hair is not long yet, but I agree with you about this. One of my goals last fall was to stop wearing weaves and braids because I was too dependant on them. It was so hard because caring for my hair was just too much stress!! I wanted to give up and just get a weave as an easy way out.

Now that I threw out and ebayed a LOT of stuff and keep a very simple routine, I notice that I am sticking with it more and it is so much less stress.

 

[gradygirl]

I have trouble being consistant with my vitamins.

 

[Iansan]

This is me, straight up and down. I have been on a long hair quest for two years now and I know if I had been more consistent I would have been bra strap by now instead of hovering around armpit. My biggest challenges are:

Keeping my hair covered at night

Being consistent with the vitamin regimen.

Moisturizing regularly.

I also need to pay attention to the different products I use, to find out which ones really work.

I've been doing this for the past month now, and I have seen results already. It's a struggle, but keep at it!

 

[RabiaElaine]

This is me, straight up and down. I have been on a long hair quest for two years now and I know if I had been more consistent I would have been bra strap by now instead of hovering around armpit. My biggest challenges are:

Keeping my hair covered at night

Being consistent with the vitamin regimen.

Moisturizing regularly.

I also need to pay attention to the different products I use, to find out which ones really work.

I've been doing this for the past month now, and I have seen results already. It's a struggle, but keep at it!

I also have problems being consistent moisturizing. I've completely come off vitamins.

And knowing which products work for me is hard, because I don't really stick with any (when it comes to moisturizing) for long enough to really know. (The only somewhat constant moisturizer that is use is WGO)

Buttafly your hair looks pretty in your avatar, so you must be doing something right. I hope I can to where you are some day.

 

[peacelove]

Yes, this is a BIG problem for me. I know that I need to have a very simple routine. I am going to try to reduce my routine to

wash and roller set every 5 days using the Joico kpack line and an alternate moisture line (not sure which one yet).

Relax every 9 weeks (at the most, 8 if I feel I need it).

Trim as needed.

Limit protective styles like buns. (yeah, I know. But they have DAMAGED my hair, not helped).

Limit products on hair (light oil on ends, light oil/serum on roller sets, light moisture as needed).

 

[Iansan]

I also have problems being consistent moisturizing. I've completely come off vitamins.

And knowing which products work for me is hard, because I don't really stick with any (when it comes to moisturizing) for long enough to really know. (The only somewhat constant moisturizer that is use is WGO)

Buttafly your hair looks pretty in your avatar, so you must be doing something right. I hope I can to where you are some day.

Thanks for the compliment, girl. It means a lot! I started off with dry, extremely damaged, overprocessed chin length hair, so if I can do it anyone can!

 

[Miss*Tress]

Keeping it simple works best for me. Sometimes I fall off the wagon, but never for long and always get back on before lasting damage sets in. The biggest motivation for me has been the results. This is the longest my hair has ever been in all my life so this keeps me going...at least until I reach my goal.

I don't take vits or use topical potions to enhance growth so that's one less area to focus on. Knowing that lack of moisture and strength are my hair's weak points, I only use products or techniques to improve them. I don't do anything that further weakens those areas, e.g. using silicone-based serums or heat, so a little bit of benign neglect doesn't hurt so much.

HTH!

 

[RabiaElaine]

Keeping it simple works best for me. Sometimes I fall off the wagon, but never for long and always get back on before lasting damage sets in. The biggest motivation for me has been the results. This is the longest my hair has ever been in all my life so this keeps me going...at least until I reach my goal.

I don't take vits or use topical potions to enhance growth so that's one less area to focus on. Knowing that lack of moisture and strength are my hair's weak points, I only use products or techniques to improve them. I don't do anything that further weakens those areas, e.g. using silicone-based serums or heat, so a little bit of benign neglect doesn't hurt so much.

HTH!

Sorry for my ignorance, what's wrong with silicone based serums? I also have problems with moisture and strength.

 

[Victorian]

How to be consistent (LOOOOONG)

Being consistent with a simple regimen is everything for me, as you probably know from my little hair motto, so I've given this some thought. I'll share with you my thoughts/advice on the matter (you may want to grab a snack! ).

First: Take the time to figure out WHY you've been inconsistent thus far: Lazy? Forgetful? Too many important things coming up--no time? You can't solve the problem if you don't know what it is.

No time: There are a couple answers to this--a. You DO have time and you just aren't using it wisely; b. You have too many steps/complications in your regimen.

"a" takes a bit of effort to overcome because it often requires rearranging things in your current non-hair routines. BUT if you've been looking to be more efficient in the rest of your life anyway, the well-being of your hair may be just the thing to give you extra motivation to get more organized. When I first started daily con washing I knew it was going to have to be in the morning because I was in school and had a super busy schedule. I just always washed my hair in the shower--I knew I wouldn't dilly-dally because I had to get to class. Now if I had decided to wash my hair at night, when I wasn't trying to be somewhere in particular, I'd probably have take longer (and I'd also use hair washing as a source of procrastination. College students and soon-to-be: you've been warned ).

Addressing "b" will probably be easier. It will take some thought to figure out what can be cut or scaled back in your regimen, but it's something a lot of people do successfully. Go ahead and take the initial time to find your "holy grails" and such because otherwise, what's the point? But once you've got it--stick with it and don't add things just because. Although I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you to also LISTEN to your hair. Your haircare may need to change with the climate or as you're transitioning, etc. Being consistent isn't the same as being overly rigid.

Forgetful: This is the easiest problem to overcome, IMO. You're willing, but just can't remember to take your vitamins or whatever. All you need to do is come up with fail-safe reminders that make it super easy to do what you have to do.

For example, I wanted to take my vitamins at night. I already know I always have a cup of tea at night. So I keep my MSM in the cupboard right in front of the tea. I can't NOT see it. I take out 2 MSM tablets (I give one to my mom--I'm HER reminder ), make my tea, and head to my room. I keep my hair vitamins in my room. The reason I decided to keep them in my room (instead of with the MSM in the kitchen) was that I always keep a water bottle in my room. I wanted to ONLY take my vitamins with the water in my room in order to create a backup reminder (A backup is crucial for me when I'm trying to create a habit), and so I had to force myself to go into my room to take my vitamins. If for some reason I don't have tea one night, I will still remember my vitamins because that water bottle is so strongly associated with taking my vitamins. I keep the bottle right next to the lamp on my nightstand. I can't turn off the lamp (which I always use instead of my overhead light) without seeing the water.
Takeaway points:
a. Keep your reminders simple as well, or you defeat the purpose--mine have only to do with where I place things: MSM in front of the tea, hair vitamins in my room, water bottle next to lamp in my room. After the inital decision of where to put what, I don't need to do anything else.

b. Tie your reminders to things that are either COMPULSORY (turning off the lamp) or WELL-ESTABLISHED HABITS/STRONG DESIRES (I don't feel right if I don't have a cup of tea at night--my addiction almost puts it in the "compulsory" category ). Don't attach reminders to things that are sort of "on the fringe" themselves.

Laziness: This may actually be the hardest to overcome because of the way it varies from day to day and because it can be so...thorough Your techniques may need to change to meet the amount of laziness you're feeling.

Say your problem is not feeling like weekly deep conditioning. Make your time under the dryer a special time to do something. Like if you have a magazine subscription and your issue comes earlier in the week, hurry and stash it away wherever you keep your dryer or under the sink with your deep con and vow not to read it until you're under the dryer with conditioner in your hair. It's not like you CAN'T go get it early, but knowing where it is gives you an extra reminder of why you stashed it in the first place. We all know why we've come up with our particular regimens and why it's important to do this or that--but sometimes when it comes time to actually carry out something you just need a little extra motivation and reminding.
If the benefits of conditioning alone don't pep you up then make it something you do while you're doing something ELSE that may not take so much extra motivation to do: Deep con while you're exercising at home, while having a special snack, while reading a book or paying bills, or whatever other thing you normally have to or want to do.

Say your problem is doing your nighttime regimen/tying your hair up. First of all, set your time for doing this much earlier than the time you go to bed. I'm willing to bet the main culprit of a missed nighttime regimen is that you're just tired and want to get in bed already. Don't wait that late to do it, if possible. Do it during your favorite nighttime tv shows. Or if you need to be in the bathroom to do it (for the mirror, tools, etc), do it in stages during the commercial breaks; That's an example of time that people have that they don't use (other than to take a potty or snack break). It seems short but if you have 2 or 3 primetime shows you like to watch (probably more for most folks), that's a good amount of time when you add up the commercials. Spend the first break sectioning your hair, if that's part of your regimen. Spend the next couple adding moisturizer to each section, etc. It'll seem strange to break it up like that, but it WILL get done, and you won't have "lost" any time you normally use for other things. Breaking things up into almost absurdly small pieces is one of the best ways to get something done when you don't want to do it--I learned that by experience in college Now, getting yourself to remember to get started may require some sort of reminder--remember to choose something simple and iron-clad, based on your pre-existing daily activities.

I don't have a real "regimen" at night--I just tie it up. So I keep my scarf stashed between my blue, decorative pillow, and the satiny one I sleep on. I never sleep on my decorative pillow so I always move it--and there's my scarf to put on. It's not possible to forget. Try keeping your scarf in the same place you keep your pajamas. Heck, make your bed with your scarf just under the blanket or sheets so you have to see it when you get in bed. Get creative

Always keep in mind: Your GOAL is to make your hair regimen a seamless part of your everyday routine that doesn't feel like it's making you go out of your way. And to do that, you need to make your various steps into HABITS--and the easiest way to do that, if pep-talking to yourself doesn't help, is to make things impossible to forget and as easy to do as possible. Remove all the barriers/excuses that keep you from doing what you have determined that you need to do in order for your hair to be it's best. And now we've come full circle because in order to do that properly, you have to be fully aware of what those barriers are

 

[RabiaElaine]

Wow!!!!!!! Thanks you brought up a lot of good points and things i need to consider. I have all 3 problems you discussed. I need to get organized!!!!

 

[Miss*Tress]

Sorry for my ignorance, what's wrong with silicone based serums? I also have problems with moisture and strength.

They'll make your hair look wonderful the first few times you use them, but ultimately build up on your strands and dry the hair out.

 

[Cichelle]

They'll make your hair look wonderful the first few times you use them, but ultimately build up on your strands and dry the hair out.

Yes, I had to get out of that silicone viscious circle. Since I don't use shampoos with SLS, the 'cones were building up and keeping the moisture out of my hair, making me think I needed more 'cones. It was hard to give them up because I loved that slip.

Not all 'cones are the same, but I avoid all of them to be on the safe side.

 

[MizaniMami]

Yes, I had to get out of that silicone viscious circle. Since I don't use shampoos with SLS, the 'cones were building up and keeping the moisture out of my hair, making me think I needed more 'cones. It was hard to give them up because I loved that slip.

Not all 'cones are the same, but I avoid all of them to be on the safe side.

Most silicones are water soluble. They can come out just with rinsing with forceful water or any shampoo for that fact.

 

[Cichelle]

Most silicones are water soluble. They can come out just with rinsing with forceful water or any shampoo for that fact.

And some are not water soluble and therefore will not come out with forceful water. For people who cowash and rarely use shampoo, like me, they can be a problem.

ETA: Here's a list for those interested:

Amodimethicone..........not soluble in water by itself
Amodimethicone (and) Trideceth-12 (and) Cetrimonium Chloride..........mixture that is soluble in water in the bottle
Behenoxy Dimethicone..........Sparingly soluble in water
Cetearyl methicone..........not soluble in water
Cetyl Dimethicone..........not soluble in water
Cyclomethicone..........not soluble in water
Cyclopentasiloxane..........not soluble in water
Dimethicone..........not soluble in water
Dimethicone Copolyol..........water soluble
Dimethiconol..........not soluble in water
Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein Hydroxypropyl Polysiloxane..........water soluble
Stearoxy Dimethicone..........Sparingly soluble in water
Stearyl Dimethicone..........not soluble in water
Trimethylsilylamodimethicone..........not soluble in water
Lauryl methicone copolyol..........water soluble

 

[Poohbear]

Ever since I joined the LHCF, I have been inconsistent with my hair regime. But my inconsistency did not hinder my growth nor did it damage my hair.

Fortunately, I have finally overcome my inconsistency. I have decided to do daily co-washing and wearing a wash-n-go style.

I guess the advice I would give would be to set your mind on a routine that works best for you. I think it's okay to have different routines for the different seasons. Also, don't do too much to your hair... Leave it alone as much as possible (or at least try not to think about your hair a lot). Ignore some of the hype about products and methods, and just stick to what you have set for your hair. But as long as you're not damaging your hair, you shouldn't worry about being inconsistent.

HTH!

ETA: I HAVEN'T OVERCOME INCONSISTENCY WITH MY HAIR ROUTINE! LOL! I have stopped daily co-washing and I'm now doing twistouts! I don't know what's wrong with me!

 

[Poohbear]

And I also agree with what everyone else said: KEEP IT SIMPLE!

 

[Miss*Tress]

And STAY FOCUSED on your particular problem areas.

 

[HoneyDew]

And some are not water soluble and therefore will not come out with forceful water. For people who cowash and rarely use shampoo, like me, they can be a problem.

Yeah, because I use silicones very faithfully after every shampoo (silken seal or straight dimethicone mostly) I cannot CW and MUST use Kenra Clarifying for eash wash. Sometimes I can go one wash without the Kenra Clarifying, but that is it.

 

[LaNecia]

OT: Macherieamour, I am in love white your hair!! Oh my gosh, it's absolutely B-E-A-Utiful!!!!