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4a here -- I transitioned for 18 months. For the first 9 months or so of the transition I was con-washing and wearing buns/protective styles. At that point the difference between the textures was a bit much, so for the last 9 months I blowdried once a week to blend it better and continued wearing mostly buns and ponies. I wore it out every once in a while, but mostly PS just because it was easier.
Pics below are from Jan. 2005, about 2 months before I chopped. You can see there was a huge difference between the bone straight relaxed hair and natural hair when wet (click to see larger):
I chopped in March of 2005, at 18 months post relaxer:
At the time when I was transitioning and during my early natural days, I was a big fan of Giovanni Direct leave-in. I applied it to damp hair after washing and it helped keep my hair moisturized but wasn't too heavy.
I also like jojoba or coconut oil on damp hair when I'm wearing my hair curly. They are light but good for sealing in moisture.