I'm going to try to hold out...

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

till the end of the year before I really think of relaxing/texturizing. I feel like such a hypocritical traitor for even feeling this way. I just don't have the patience to deal with my hair- be it natural or relaxed but apparently more so with natural hair. I really really love the way my hair looks. I have to remind myself to really look at my hair every day when I'm feeling it's not so pretty. There are so many curls it's unbelieveable! I love it! But my just gets so DRY and brittle- I honestly don't remember it being this way when I was relaxed and treating my hair badly.

I don't know if it's just b/c I haven't found that "perfect" product to be my HG or maybe more length that would make me feel better. It just seems like most days my hair won't "behave" . I can actually get it into two small ponytails but I'm at a loss for styling at this point. Besides whenever I touch my hair it's sooo tangled (even after detangling/dc-ing) and I just hear snap-crackle-pop....- and that's even when I'm moisturizing!

I don't really think relaxing would solve the problem but maybe texlaxing would..... I really want to try to ride this out... to at least actually "see" my hair as it gets longer. I love my curls but why don't they love me???

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

You don't owe it to anybody to hold it out. It is your hair and do with it what YOU want. You're the one who has to live with it every day.

Now, is your problem moisture only?

 

[Neith]

You know your own hair, but I find that texturizing weakens my hair and increases dryness.

Not that my hair is horribly damaged or in bad shape, but my natural hair is like spun steel... it's in it's absolute best condition natural.

Just seems like putting a relaxer on dry hair may not be the best thing.

I hope you figure it out!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I feel your pain chica You have to do whats right for you! Hold off on any decisions if you really really want to think things through. Besides just 2 ponytails have you tried a wash n go?

 

[hopeful]

Just wanted to send you hug, I can so feel your frustration. I have been there...twice. Bc'd twice, texturized twice. The first time I was natural for just 5 or 6 months. The 2nd time almost 2 1/2 years, so I see that as progress. Both times going natural I learned so much about my hair and myself. It is all a learning process. Do what will make you happiest. I always say you have to learn to be patient with your hair and with yourself. Whatever you decide to do, we will support you.

 

[abordeaux]

How often are you detangling?

Are you doing anything to your hair at night before bed?

At first, I was just moisturizing (maybe) by rubbing something through my fro and just going to sleep on a satin pillow case. My hair was always so dry, brittle and tangled, but when I started prepping it at night ( moisturizing and then putting it in messy twists, plaits, bantu knots, anything) and then tying it down, I woke up with soft, moisturized hair.

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

I would suggest buying some natural butters like Hempseed Butter. It is very moisturizing and acts like a light wax; it's great for defining your curls.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Do what works for you. I would say hold out for the end of the year just to see if you really want to go for it. You can also take these next few months to really strengthen your hair so that if you do decide to relax/texturize you'll be starting anew with healthy hair. You can also use this time to research proper maintenance for your hair if you do decide to have it relaxed. Good Luck with whatever you decide!

 

[audacity.]

girl, i know EXACTLY how you feel. i felt the SAME way (like a hypocritical traitor) BUT i drew the final conclusion that i HAVE to do what is best for MY hair AND my lifestyle.

so that is the advice i will give you. IF you don't want to BC, do what is best for your hair and your lifestyle.

we will love you and support you either way!

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

I only detangle once a week, when I wash b/c I try not to put a comb in my hair too much. I used to moisturize the way you did too! But I did start doing twists/plaits at night and it did help. Problem was while doing the plaits or twists, I would encounter tangles and hear my hair snap

I can't seem to touch my hair without heraring the snapping and popping- even when it's moisturized. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

How often are you detangling?

Are you doing anything to your hair at night before bed?

At first, I was just moisturizing (maybe) by rubbing something through my fro and just going to sleep on a satin pillow case. My hair was always so dry, brittle and tangled, but when I started prepping it at night ( moisturizing and then putting it in messy twists, plaits, bantu knots, anything) and then tying it down, I woke up with soft, moisturized hair.

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

Lol no girl, I don't wear the ponys as a style- that would look to *****! I'm just saying I have enough hair to put in two ponytails. I mostly do wash n go, I don't know anything else- and even when I do that, I'm pulling out hairs (usually shed, sometimes broken as of lately).

I feel your pain chica You have to do
whats right for you! Hold off on any decisions if you really really want to think things through. Besides just 2 ponytails have you tried a wash n go?

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

I am experiencing the same feelings too, but my want to relax at times is tentative, it's like I know I'll regret if I do. I posted a thread about my hair being dry recently and I got such great tips.

This past week I bought some unrefined shea butter, pre-pooed w/ oil, and dc'ed, then I did some twists with the shea butter. My hair feels so soft.