I was transitioning...and then I relaxed

[jodydreams]

and ladies I am so mad at myself for doing that. I dont know what I was thinking! It was like an out of body experience or something. I told myself no relaxer for 6 months and then I permed and I said the same thing for the next 6 months and I permed again! I love straight hair looks but I also LOVE curly hair! I soon discovered after getting a perm that its better to go curly to straight than vis versa. I am going to transition until the end of next summer. My fiance told me to stay natural and I PERMED. My natural hair was really soft and curly when I took my braids out (thanks to s-curl and I will be buying a ton of gylcerin) now my hair is shedding, breaking and getting thin. And I cant stand thin hair! Thats it, im back to transitioning and I will not be defeated! (sorry this was so long)

what makes you give in to the perm when you are transitioning?

 

[Suri]

BEING A PUNK!!

 

[LaNecia]

what makes you give in to the perm when you are transitioning?

For me it was the difficulty managing the new growth. I went from Natural to Texturized to Relaxed. I'm going to stay either relaxed or texturized. I'll decide in a few more months which one.

 

[jodydreams]

BEING A PUNK!!

i know....im so mad at myself. but this is a new year, new begining.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I think most pple go back and forth because their not being honest w/themselves about what they really want to do w/their hair. Or maybe their just confused, I just can't understand what's so hard about being sure, "when in doubt do without" that's my motto. Maybe you really want to be relaxed and is being pressured by your surroundings, I don't know, but what I do know is that you can always try again, and if it don't work you can always relax. Hopefully things will work out w/whatever you choose.

 

[Suri]

I am sorry. That was out of anger. I read the thread title and thought, 'she's joking...she really has an album update or something' then I get here and it's real.

I have been there before. I guess you kind of get scared of doing something other than what you are used to. Or you may in fact really just want straigh hair. What are your reasons for going natural, some people have reasons other than their own for going natural and it ends up being a back and forth game for years. I think you should decide what you want to do, because in the end you don't get to enjoy your hair that much, you're either mad at yourself for perming or impatient and restless with transitioning. GL to you, hope you enjoy your hair and take care of it.

~suri

 

[pretty-girl#1]

and ladies I am so mad at myself for doing that. I dont know what I was thinking! It was like an out of body experience or something. I told myself no relaxer for 6 months and then I permed and I said the same thing for the next 6 months and I permed again! I love straight hair looks but I also LOVE curly hair! I soon discovered after getting a perm that its better to go curly to straight than vis versa. I am going to transition until the end of next summer. My fiance told me to stay natural and I PERMED. My natural hair was really soft and curly when I took my braids out (thanks to s-curl and I will be buying a ton of gylcerin) now my hair is shedding, breaking and getting thin. And I cant stand thin hair! Thats it, im back to transitioning and I will not be defeated! (sorry this was so long)

what makes you give in to the perm when you are transitioning?

I understand your decision to go back to relaxer. It's what I call the mid-transitioning crisis syndrom! You are half way there and something says "Are you sure? U r gonna miss those silky straight body wraps etc." then you fall weak under the deamon relaxer. You really don't want it, just scared of the unknown, (Being 100% natural). I'm recovering from one right now! I am 34 weeks into my transition and I know that natural is what I want for myself. Those relaxed ladies look beautiful, but Natural is for me!

 

[beyondcute]

Anxiety. Ive never relaxed since my decision but soemtimes I think about it. It wierd. Im so anxious to have natural hair but its quicker to relax. Go natural takes time and energy and deliberate fighting against the habit of relaxing. Its erally breaking a habit and its a hard on to break. Good luck on your re-transition and the next time you reach for a box come in here and maybe we can talk you outta it

 

[Southernbella.]

what makes you give in to the perm when you are transitioning?

For me, it was the realization that I wasn't ready, and that I had unrealistic expectations about my hair. I don't see myself wearing puffs, twists, a TWA, etc (though they are beautiful styles and I like them on other people). I figured I would straighten my hair fairly often, which sort of defeats the purpose of going natural. So, I relaxed, and vowed to take better care of my relaxed hair until I decide to go all the way, which I will do one day. It's working for me.

Why feel guilty? The beautiful thing about hair is that it continues to grow. You can change your hair every time you change your mind! Don't sweat it.

 

[angellazette]

When I had a moment, I wrote about it in my fotki. I'm glad I wrote it out instead of doing anything drastic...that helped a lot. Then I soon found out my problem.

 

[Super_Hero_Girl]

I never permed again after I went natural. I viewed so many natural albums, that I was hyped and overly anxious about being natural. Then when I finally got there, I loved it too much to go back.

Since you have tried to transition more than once, maybe you should get a natural buddy to help you along the way. Or find some natural and transitioning albums to encourage you. I hope things go better for you if you try again.

I'm curious though, if you are transitioning why would you say "I told myself no relaxer for 6 months"? Why would you want to relax at 6 mo? Sorry I'm a lil confused.

Anyway, good luck again with your transition.

 

[morehairplease]

This happened to me in Aug.05...after being natural for 2 years . After having major breakage/shedding issues I decided to just do the BC & get it over with....I couldn't be happier. Whatever you decide to do this time around with your hair I wish you good luck & HHG!

 

[HairPhoenix]

You should think about what YOU want for your hair. Just be honest with yourself and pinpoint whether what you want is a decision that you derived by yourself or under the influence of others.

If this helps, I haven't hit the mid-transition crisis yet, but I do the mental back and forth thing nearly everyday. I spent almost 4 months trying to decide if I was going to relax again or go natural. It took me just that long to make the decision to go natural. And even though I am making good progress, I wonder if I am making the right decision. I don't want the chemicals anymore, but what is my hair going to look like? How is life going to be for me in public? How is this going to affect my chances of reeling in a good man?

Those are some of the questions that go through my head on a daily. (Lucky you... you've already got a supportive man by your side.) You also have to look at the fact that dealing with your natural hair is going to be a lot more work. Are you up for that? My hair has already caused me a lot more work since I decided to transition, but I am going to do what I can to reach my goals. Who knows... I may decide three months from now that I just can't take it and go back to relaxing. It's not going to change who I am to me.

What you decide to do with your hair can be a huge decision. I know I consulted with many women around me for advice and LHCF before I made my decision. Your hair is a big part of who you are. The intelligent people around us know that we are more than just our hair.

Okay, I done with the soapbox. If you decide that relaxing or texturizing is what works best for you, then so be it. If you want to try natural for a while, then go for it. I'm sure your hair will be beautiful either way. Just make sure that YOU are happy!!

 

[RainbowCurls]

Good luck with your transition this time!

Maybe when you're coming up to 6 months this time you could get your hair pressed/blowdried & flat ironed/get braids, or something else to take your mind off relaxing or make it impossible to relax.

Or just BC at 5 months...

 

[kristina]

I don't desire a relaxer anymore but I did before I learned how to deal with my natural hair. It's frustrating when you put in all this effort only to look like a hot mess. and the relaxer just seems to promise the remedy for all the stress- simplicity, familarity and conformity. But then I recalled all my frustrations with my relaxed hair and snapped back into reality- my hair has made it plain that it doesn't like relaxers and doing it again after all that I've been through (2 failed transitions prior) would just be silly. In a way I think that's why it was good I spent all of my transition in braids because I didn't worry about my hair on a daily basis and there is no temptation really because I never really dealt with two textures. If not braids, find some other way to keep your hands out of your hair when you get tempted.

 

[KiSseS03]

I transitioned unsuccessfully twice before and the reason I went back is because I simply wasn't ready. The first time I was 16, knew nothing about black hair care (no boards) but I transitioned for 13 months out of curiosity. The second time was last year and I relaxed after 5 months because summer was arriving (lots of parties and events) and I just didn't feel like I would look good with my natural hair.

The difference this time is that I've actually embraced my natural texture. I've done research on the benefits, browsed soooo many albums and have saved pics of styles that I can do once I'm there. Yea, there are still times that I see a gorgeous relaxed head and think about going back, but then I think of the reasons for going back to natural and they FAR outweigh the ones for re-relaxing.

Like PerfectDoak said, if you find yourself unsure put your hair away for a bit in braids or a sew-in or something, and remember your reasons for transitioning, because it does seem like this is what you want to do.

 

[silvergirl]

sigh,, trust me i know how u feel, this is my third time transitioning,, lol,, i just couldnt make up my mind,, now im sure, i want to stay natural

shari

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Whew, I've gotten some good advice from this thread. I've been wanting to start a thread about similiar issues but I'm so torn over it that I don't even wanna talk about it yet.
ITA w/ Lauren. Smart lady.
Jody, don't feel bad, girl...you are NOT alone.

 

[1Specialk]

and ladies I am so mad at myself for doing that. I dont know what I was thinking! It was like an out of body experience or something. I told myself no relaxer for 6 months and then I permed and I said the same thing for the next 6 months and I permed again! I love straight hair looks but I also LOVE curly hair! I soon discovered after getting a perm that its better to go curly to straight than vis versa. I am going to transition until the end of next summer. My fiance told me to stay natural and I PERMED. My natural hair was really soft and curly when I took my braids out (thanks to s-curl and I will be buying a ton of gylcerin) now my hair is shedding, breaking and getting thin. And I cant stand thin hair! Thats it, im back to transitioning and I will not be defeated! (sorry this was so long)

what makes you give in to the perm when you are transitioning?

When you are really ready, you will make.

 

[Jewell]

Don't feel bad girl! This is my 3rd time transitioning also! I've had a reality check this time...I am sure that I will never relax my hair again. I gave in last time because my hair started locing up. I have figured out a way to solve that problem, so I should be home free!