I Want to Relax... I Want to stay Natural... I Want...

MJ

MJ

New Member
Maybe I'm venting, I'm not sure. But for months now I've been wanting to relax my hair and I've been wanting to stay natural. I go back and forth between these thoughts in my mind like a ping pong match. It's driving me crazy :wallbash:! I have more naturals on my fotki Inspiration list than relaxed or texlaxed persons... But still, it seems so appealing at times.

Maybe it's because I've been wearing a short wig consistently since summer 2007, and I'm wanting to wear my hair out. Even then, I'm not sure because when I take the cornrows I love how my natural feels, but not how it looks. When I was relaxed I didn't like how my hair felt, but I like the ease at which I could comb and style it. I just wish I could find peace with my hair. It's always one thing or another. I've been bald, natural, and relaxed. None is better than the other, IMO. I've been miserable in all those states, and I've had things I like about all of them.

This is life isn't it. Not so clear cut.
 
I done that 12 times and went back and forth with being natural & relaxed, now I am texlaxed and I love it, I don't like my hair straight so I don't worry with straight styles, but I do love it curly and that I can stretch, hoping to only touch up 2 times a year.
I know how you feel, alot of us have been there.
 
I understand how you feel. I'm going through the same thing...should I go natural, relaxed or texturize. I'm not actually sure of what "texlaxed" is.:wallbash:
 
secretrose said:
have you considering texlaxing? A lot of ladies here say it's the best of both worlds.
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SignatureBeauty said:
I done that 12 times and went back and forth with being natural & relaxed, now I am texlaxed and I love it, I don't like my hair straight so I don't worry with straight styles, but I do love it curly and that I can stretch, hoping to only touch up 2 times a year.I know how you feel, alot of us have been there.
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I have, and have probably read every textlaxed thread on the forum twice :blush:! I've never been textlaxed. If I do, I would try to touch up every six months!
 
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Maybe you should try flat ironing your hair for awhile to determine if you really want to go back to the permanently straight look.
 
Are you 100% natural? Would you consider only wearing your natural hair in a straight look? That's one way to have the best of both worlds without using chemicals.
 
I feel you, I've been wondering if I would be able to retain more length if I texlaxed. Then I start thinking of how I might regret it. I'm always going back and forth too. Good luck with whatever you choose.
 
I hesitate to apply the chemicals because I want to see what my natural hair is capable of. The longer it grows, the easier it is to comb and detangle. I still don't know much about styling it. However, I originally thought my hair was 4a/b, but as it grow, I can I see that it's 4a, with lots of volume and fine strands. That's a crucial piece of information because it means that my hair would process very fast. Something I didn't realize before. Also, I really just want my ends straighter so that they don't curl around each other that much. So textlaxing would probably suit me best, but the dryness issue is a factor. I still have a few months to decide what I'm going to do in the short term.

Thanks for your response ladies :).
 
MJ said:
I hesitate to apply the chemicals because I want to see what my natural hair is capable of. The longer it grows, the easier it is to comb and detangle. I still don't know much about styling it. However, I originally thought my hair was 4a/b, but as it grow, I can I see that it's 4a, with lots of volume and fine strands. That's a crucial piece of information because it means that my hair would process very fast. Something I didn't realize before. Also, I really just want my ends straighter so that they don't curl around each other that much. So textlaxing would probably suit me best, but the dryness issue is a factor. I still have a few months to decide what I'm going to do in the short term.

Thanks for your response ladies :).
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I feel you on this but I'm staying with my transisition. Finally learned to never, ever shampoo my hair in small braids..my hair will lock up. I had to cut my nape from 5 inches down to 2 inches making it totally natural due to a total lock. I can now see how my natural hair will behave with that 2 inches.
 
I completely understand where you are coming from. I've gone back and forth with that decision a lot too. I actually decided to relax again about 6 months or so after I BCed but I don't know if the relaxer I used was too mild or what (I left it in for the right time too!) but my hair still curled up as if I applied it like a "texlax" :lachen: and the curl pattern is so close to my natural one that I just figured my hair made the decision for me to just leave it curly! So I'm transitioning from...texlaxed...I guess...

What helped me decide though is what some other ladies here have suggested, flat-ironing my hair and wearing it like that for a while. I actually started to miss my lil' shrunken, curly fro so that's how I knew I wanted to keep up with my transition.

It is a tough choice, but just remember, as long as you keep it healthy, you hair will grow no matter WHAT state it's in.

HTH!
 
MJ said:
Maybe I'm venting, I'm not sure. But for months now I've been wanting to relax my hair and I've been wanting to stay natural. I go back and forth between these thoughts in my mind like a ping pong match. It's driving me crazy :wallbash:! I have more naturals on my fotki Inspiration list than relaxed or texlaxed persons... But still, it seems so appealing at times.

Maybe it's because I've been wearing a short wig consistently since summer 2007, and I'm wanting to wear my hair out. Even then, I'm not sure because when I take the cornrows I love how my natural feels, but not how it looks. When I was relaxed I didn't like how my hair felt, but I like the ease at which I could comb and style it. I just wish I could find peace with my hair. It's always one thing or another. I've been bald, natural, and relaxed. None is better than the other, IMO. I've been miserable in all those states, and I've had things I like about all of them.

This is life isn't it. Not so clear cut.
Click to expand...

secretrose said:
have you considering texlaxing? A lot of ladies here say it's the best of both worlds.
Click to expand...

1st of all MJ, 1 big :bighug:2 u b/c I totally know how u feel. When I 1st went natural, I was loving my natural hair & relaxing again was never a thought. But then as my hair b-gan 2 grow, the microscopic knots came w/a vengeance & I realized how much they were truly stunting my growth. & so the tug of war n my mind b-gan.

My whole reason b-hind going natural was LENGTH. I thought that I could only get long hair sans chemicals. Of course I didn't find LHCF & learn differently until after my BC so I just stuck w/the natural thing since I had actually made it thru, so 2 speak.

I'm still torn b/c I don't really want permanent change. I feel once I reach my length goals, I may love how my hair looks natural & only want 2 straighten every now & then. So...2 make a long story short, I have promised myself that I will not make any drastic decisions until I have made my length goal.

This is controversial here so I won't go n2 much detail but I'm leaning 2wards the Brazilian Keratin Treatment vs. a relaxer. Both are chemicals but @ least the BKT isn't permanent.
 
I say start flat ironing your hair. Now that is the best of both worlds. Or you can start out going to the shop to get your hair pressed. Than you can start maintaining your hair at home.
 
SEMO said:
Maybe you should try flat ironing your hair for awhile to determine if you really want to go back to the permanently straight look.
Click to expand...


BostonMaria said:
Are you 100% natural? Would you consider only wearing your natural hair in a straight look? That's one way to have the best of both worlds without using chemicals.
Click to expand...

I have never flat ironed my natural hair. I plan to do this in December when I have to post updates for the challenges I'm in.

After thinking about my posts and the responses, I've promise myself--promise my hair--that I won't put chemicals in my hair until I've flat iron at least 6 times. I have to give my hair a chance to prove what it is capable of. The last time I relaxed after going natural was because I became frustrated with my natural hair. I liked it for awhile, but then I BC'd again.

There are some people who keep relaxing and then BC'ing, I've done it twice before. So I know that I run the risk of doing it again. In the 6 years I've been wanting BSL hair, I haven't been able to achieve this length because I kept switching between natural and relaxed. Actually, maybe I should wait until I reach BSL before thinking about texlaxing or relaxing, at the least I'd have the satisfaction of accomplishing my goal.

ETA: Nnakialovesshoes, I read your post after posting the above. I see that you are planning to wait until you've reached your goal length before doing anything permanent. It was really affirming to read that after making a similar statement above :yep:.

I think I've got my answer ladies! :grin:
 
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Awww MJ, I so know how you feel. Once I texturized I was very happy and relieved. Then I got it flat-ironed and it was funny because I didn't really like it because it was soooo straight, so I couldn't wait to wash it, then after I washed it, I missed feeling my hair on my back and shoulders:spinning:, it's like I want it full and thick and curly and to show it's length, all at the same time, oh and be super easy to detangle:yep:. Anyway, I don't really know what to tell ya. But you know I'm just ready to get a style, a look, and I want to roll with that for awhile, I'm tired of bouncing around:creatures:bouncegre:trampolin lol.
 
Mandy4610 said:
I totally understand where you are. I have been there and I am still there. These threads will tell you what I mean.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=259047&highlight=
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=255829&highlight=
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Thanks for posting these links. I read all the posts, including the one I'd made :lachen:. I definately saw that what I'm experiencing is part of the process. Whew! Doesn't make it easier, well a little bit; but seeing those bra-strap length naturals in the first thread got me :drool:.

hopeful said:
Awww MJ, I so know how you feel. Once I texturized I was very happy and relieved. Then I got it flat-ironed and it was funny because I didn't really like it because it was soooo straight, so I couldn't wait to wash it, then after I washed it, I missed feeling my hair on my back and shoulders:spinning:, it's like I want it full and thick and curly and to show it's length, all at the same time, oh and be super easy to detangle:yep:. Anyway, I don't really know what to tell ya. But you know I'm just ready to get a style, a look, and I want to roll with that for awhile, I'm tired of bouncing around:creatures:bouncegre:trampolin lol.
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I have a feeling I'd feel the same way and do the same thing :drunk:. I'm going to continue on this natural journey, focusing on one deep conditioner at a time... :lachen:
 
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i feel taht way sometimes to. I do a wash n go most of teh time and get my hair flat ironed straight once a month. This way I can go curly or straight.
 
caramelcutieinva said:
i feel taht way sometimes to. I do a wash n go most of teh time and get my hair flat ironed straight once a month. This way I can go curly or straight.
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:scratchch That sounds like a nice little routine you have there. I may consider doing something along those lines.
 
I've been there done that. In fact, the reason why I'm Bcing is that relaxer strait hair is not for me. I like texture, so I would probably texlax if this natural journey goes :nono:. Signature Beauty, what is your technique?:eyebrows2
 
DDtexlaxd said:
I've been there done that. In fact, the reason why I'm Bcing is that relaxer strait hair is not for me. I like texture, so I would probably texlax if this natural journey goes :nono:. Signature Beauty, what is your technique?:eyebrows2
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:lachen::lachen:I knew you was gonna be in here with me, you know how we do, so far this texlaxing is working out very good, because I can stretch alot longer and I still have my curls, my hair is softer and I can see length, I don't have to buy & try 50/11 products to please my hair, My Natural hair was very picky, my texlax hair all I do is Co wash and use a leave in and that is it, it even works for my daughter and we have no crazy shedding or breakage and we air dry:yep:

But yes it can be a very hard decision, But just do what is easier for you, we have so many beautiful Natural heads & Relaxed Heads & Texlaxed Heads that the choices is hard. But when you start stressing about it so much you need to make a choice, because your hair shouldnt be stressing you out. I have been natural and relaxed since 2003 LOL!!! But now I am at Peace with Texlaxing. DDTexlaxed is right in there with me.
Good Luck to you!!
 
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