I want to change perms but my stylist won't do it

[mahogany66]

..
I asked him if he would relax my hair with Phyto next time and this is his response


"Sorry sweetheart but that relaxer isnt going to be around long enough for me to even consider using it. I do not "try" new relaxers. I need literature and more information.. Why do you want to change anyway? Is there something wrong with what I have been using. It is the top of the line in relaxer market.. Let me know whats good. Talk soon.."

 

[PaperClip]

..
I asked him if he would relax my hair with Phyto next time and this is his response


"Sorry sweetheart but that relaxer isnt going to be around long enough for me to even consider using it. I do not "try" new relaxers. I need literature and more information.. Why do you want to change anyway? Is there something wrong with what I have been using. It is the top of the line in relaxer market.. Let me know whats good. Talk soon.."

Even though this sounds like a simple question, it's chock-full of issues.... Before I respond, I want to add that my mom is a hairdresser and I know the business well. Plus, I have been to lots of hairdressers in my life and can weed out the good and average and poor....

Here's the first thing: you are the paying customer, and you certainly have the right to reasonable request and command the use of products and services that you feel is best for your hair. And, you have the same right to no longer patronize that stylist if you feel that you are not receiving an equitable exchange of products/services for your pay/satisfaction. Apparently, you've been satisfied....

Now, when you asked him about switching products, you may have insulted his intelligence/credibility as a stylist. He's the one that went to school and was good/knowledgeable enough to receive licensure from his state. I appreciate him asking for more information about the product change and for asking you about your concerns with the products currently used on your hair. And, as an informed client, you would benefit as well from learning more about the particular relaxer you'd like to use so you can share it with your hairdresser so that you BOTH can come to a shared decision about the product change.

When I had a hairdresser (she moved away but I just found out that she's moving back home!), I asked her questions ALL THE TIME!!! I know I annoyed her, but she didn't let me see her sweat! She came back with some excellent, informative responses and my hair THRIVED under her care....

Bottom line, good for you to ask, and as you ask, just be sure to be as equipped with information as you can so that you can build a case for wanting the change.

 

[mahogany66]

I told him that the affirm fiberguard seemed to break my hair off and that I've done research on PHYTO and I would like to TRY IT.. I also told him that I respect his decision NOT to use the perm and that I know of other salons that use it but asked him ONLY because of my comfort with him. I sent him this response yesterday and I am still awaiting on his reply.

I really don't want to go to another salon ESPECIALLY for a relaxer. I may have to end up doing it myself

 

[Neroli]

..
I asked him if he would relax my hair with Phyto next time and this is his response


Sorry sweetheart but that relaxer isnt going to be around long enough for me to even consider using it.. " Why not?!


I do not "try" new relaxers. "Why not? The relaxer you use now MUST have been "new" at some point!?!

I need literature and more information.. " Then GET some literature and GET EDUCATED in you own dang field??!

Why do you want to change anyway? " Why not? I want to try SOMETHING NEW (like a new stylist!)?!

Is there something wrong with what I have been using. " No, but I there may be SOMETHING BETTER!?!

It is the top of the line in relaxer market.. " Why is that? How does it compare to phyto (this goes to GETTING EDUCATED about what's out there and their pros and cons and being able to articulate those differences to clients)

Let me know whats good. Talk soon.." " NOT!

PUHLEASE, I would be long gone 'cause it's MY hair and I control what goes on it. . .

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I would kindly say if U won't use it, then I'll have to take my sevices elsewhere. Give him the directions on how to apply Phyto. Thats all that's needed.

 

[Denim And Leather]

I can understand him wanting more info on Phyto since he's never heard of it (one stylist whom I was going to go to told me that she had never heard of Phyto, and that she never uses a product that has been on the market less than 10 years), but the bottom line is that you're the customer, you're paying him, and if he doesn't wish to use Phyto on your hair after you've asked him, then you should find another stylist. I'm so sick and tired of stylists wanting to dictate and control what is done and not done to our hair. It's our hair, not theirs!

This could lead to bigger issues; if he refuses to use Phyto per your request, then in the future, what if you ask him to do something/not do something else to your hair and he refuses? The stylist that I talked to about Phyto, I told her when that when she relaxes my hair, I did not want a trim, and she refused to comply, telling me that she always trims after a chemical service, and that is how she "runs her ship", so I took my business elsewhere.

 

[B_Phlyy]

I would kindly say if U won't use it, then I'll have to take my sevices elsewhere. Give him the directions on how to apply Phyto. Thats all that's needed.

IA. If he's a stylist and knows how to apply a relaxer, he should be able to use the Phyto on your hair.

 

[mahogany66]

Yeah, this may be a sign of future ISSUES with him .My co-worker wants a color in her hair. She is a natural and her hair is in healthy but he REFUSES to put color in her hair because he has a "feeling" that she is not going to "take care of it"..erplexed

He also LOVES to CUT. So when I went for my last perm I immediately said "wow, look at my ends they are in good shape", he agreed, so I said " good, so you don't have to trim me".. .. He FROWNED because I tricked him..

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Great response, I also would like to add @ the OP you really don't know how good Phyto will be on YOUR hair neither until it's applied and trial and error occurs. I also think that his response was professional, and you should break down the info you learned from your research of Phyto. To make it easy you could just print out the info and take it over for him to look over, and/or take him a sample of the relaxer so he can do a strand test on some hairs that you collect from your own head so he can evaluate the strand test. Just know that if you do it yourself and your not pleased it may be him you turn to to fix a problem that was barely broke to begin w/it.

Even though this sounds like a simple question, it's chock-full of issues.... Before I respond, I want to add that my mom is a hairdresser and I know the business well. Plus, I have been to lots of hairdressers in my life and can weed out the good and average and poor....

Here's the first thing: you are the paying customer, and you certainly have the right to reasonable request and command the use of products and services that you feel is best for your hair. And, you have the same right to no longer patronize that stylist if you feel that you are not receiving an equitable exchange of products/services for your pay/satisfaction. Apparently, you've been satisfied....

Now, when you asked him about switching products, you may have insulted his intelligence/credibility as a stylist. He's the one that went to school and was good/knowledgeable enough to receive licensure from his state. I appreciate him asking for more information about the product change and for asking you about your concerns with the products currently used on your hair. And, as an informed client, you would benefit as well from learning more about the particular relaxer you'd like to use so you can share it with your hairdresser so that you BOTH can come to a shared decision about the product change.

When I had a hairdresser (she moved away but I just found out that she's moving back home!), I asked her questions ALL THE TIME!!! I know I annoyed her, but she didn't let me see her sweat! She came back with some excellent, informative responses and my hair THRIVED under her care....

Bottom line, good for you to ask, and as you ask, just be sure to be as equipped with information as you can so that you can build a case for wanting the change.

 

[mahogany66]

Great response, I also would like to add @ the OP you really don't know how good Phyto will be on YOUR hair neither until it's applied and trial and error occurs. I also think that his response was professional, and you should break down the info you learned from your research of Phyto. To make it easy you could just print out the info and take it over for him to look over, and/or take him a sample of the relaxer so he can do a strand test on some hairs that you collect from your own head so he can evaluate the strand test. Just know that if you do it yourself and your not pleased it may be him you turn to to fix a problem that was barely broke to begin w/it.

I also thought his response was professional but his comment about it 'NOT BEING AROUND FOR LONG", was weird. If he is not familiar with the relaxer I was confused on how he came up with this judgement.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

LOL, that was cute. It seems that he may have his issues as any business person does, maybe his is in the trimming department. But since you know this find someone else to do your trims. But overall he sounds like someone that loves to not just do hair but he like to keep it healthy. I'm the same way w/some of my lax relatives they want to color but don't want to DC on a regular and want to curl their hair just about everyday, I don't have time to play misses fix it all the time. It is annoying to see someones hair thriving and then they make a hasty decision and end up set back in their progress of healthy hair. That cousin I mentioned is natural and ended up having to get all the dye cut out of her hair down to 3 in. early this summer. Once again it's thriving but she hasn't been here since a little after the cut so we'll see what's going on w/her hair the next time she comes hanging around.

Yeah, this may be a sign of future ISSUES with him .My co-worker wants a color in her hair. She is a natural and her hair is in healthy but he REFUSES to put color in her hair because he has a "feeling" that she is not going to "take care of it"..erplexed

He also LOVES to CUT. So when I went for my last perm I immediately said "wow, look at my ends they are in good shape", he agreed, so I said " good, so you don't have to trim me".. .. He FROWNED because I tricked him..

 

[mahogany66]

LOL, that was cute. It seems that he may have his issues as any business person does, maybe his is in the trimming department. But since you know this find someone else to do your trims. But overall he sounds like someone that loves to not just do hair but he like to keep it healthy. I'm the same way w/some of my lax relatives they want to color but don't want to DC on a regular and want to curl their hair just about everyday, I don't have time to play misses fix it all the time. It is annoying to see someones hair thriving and then they make a hasty decision and end up set back in their progress of healthy hair. That cousin I mentioned is natural and ended up having to get all the dye cut out of her hair down to 3 in. early this summer. Once again it's thriving but she hasn't been here since a little after the cut so we'll see what's going on w/her hair the next time she comes hanging around.

You have a GOOD point, this is why I really TRUST him with this relaxer and I know if it doesn't work out that it definitely WOULD NOT be his fault.

 

[peacelove]

..
I asked him if he would relax my hair with Phyto next time and this is his response


"Sorry sweetheart but that relaxer isnt going to be around long enough for me to even consider using it. I do not "try" new relaxers. I need literature and more information.. Why do you want to change anyway? Is there something wrong with what I have been using. It is the top of the line in relaxer market.. Let me know whats good. Talk soon.."

Not sure about it not being around, but I think his response is valid for a stylist. I can understand a stylist not wanting to use something they are not familiar with. If you really want to switch, maybe try finding a stylist that uses Phyto?

 

[tenderheaded]

Stylists get stuck in their comfort zone and don't WANT to change! I had started doing research last yr when I got my virgin relaxer. I asked the stylist about Biosilk Silk Therapy. She said she'd never heard of it. The stylist in the next station says he uses it all the time then goes to the front of the store and brings me a bottle!!! Hair Cuttery sells it and she didn't even know

You're comfortable with this stylist so see if addl info changes his mind. If not, find someone to do your Phyto. I've heard of a lot of people having trouble with Affirm.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

I think the stylists response is understandable. And your response back to him was great also. But you did just kinda tell him in a nice way that 'either u do it, or i'm dumping you'. So if he takes pride in his work, he may let you dump him. As someone stated, that stylists earned a license and your asking may have been insulting to him or bruised his ego. So you should have replied and said something to the effect of....i'm sorry if i offended or insulted you by requesting another relaxer since i know you are very good at what you do. Bu i've been doing my own research and this new relaxer is making people's hair thrive. Can we discuss this further and I can possibly send you some more information and then we can decide if you would be willing to do the service? Because i would hate to loose you as a stylist because you have done a great job thus far. And who knows!!! You might like the relaxer and decide to offer it, in your salon!!!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Yeah, this may be a sign of future ISSUES with him .My co-worker wants a color in her hair. She is a natural and her hair is in healthy but he REFUSES to put color in her hair because he has a "feeling" that she is not going to "take care of it"..erplexed

He also LOVES to CUT. So when I went for my last perm I immediately said "wow, look at my ends they are in good shape", he agreed, so I said " good, so you don't have to trim me".. .. He FROWNED because I tricked him..[/quote

OOhh, girl, u so slick! I betcha he wishes he kept his mouth shut on that one.

 

[determined_to_grow]

..
I asked him if he would relax my hair with Phyto next time and this is his response


"Sorry sweetheart but that relaxer isnt going to be around long enough for me to even consider using it. I do not "try" new relaxers. I need literature and more information.. Why do you want to change anyway? Is there something wrong with what I have been using. It is the top of the line in relaxer market.. Let me know whats good. Talk soon.."

Hey Mahogany
You are the one paying her - so she should be open-minded and flexible to your needs. However, you have to take into consideration that she may not be an expert in the application of phyto... and that could lead to a disaster@@
Also you know what's best for your hair (even if your stylist have been doing your hair for a fixed period). You had to deal with it all your life and so you know what's best.

 

[shunta]

Im sorry, but if you want to use a different relaxer on YOUR hair, then you have every right!! It is your hair and your money-if he doesnt want to use what you want on YOUR hair, then I would take my business elsewhere. Especially if you suspect the relaxer is breaking your hair. Thats my opinion.

 

[KiniKakes]

I'm so sick and tired of stylists wanting to dictate and control what is done and not done to our hair. It's our hair, not theirs!

THANK YOU!!!

That just burns me up!

 

[mahogany66]

Hey Ladies, he just responded and basically said that he DOES NOT use no-lye relaxers. He mentioned that he wished I consulted with him before I made a decision to switch and that it may be another factor that caused breakage.(There was nothing to consider especially since I noticed the breakage immedietely after the relaxer, I am just glad that it was a very small area). He said to keep him posted on my outcome.

Anyway, I did search and found a few salons in NYC that use phyto and one in particular had alot of knowlege about the relaxer. I don't plan on getting a touch up until at least another 3wks, so I have time to go to the salon and talk to the stylist or I may decided to do it myself.

Thanks for the input.

 

[sareca]

Call Phyto's 800 number and ask for Phyto salons in your area. They will probably do a much better job than someone who's never even heard of the product.

 

[KeraKrazy]

I had this exact experience with my stylist who also uses affirm and ended up having to get my friend to do the relaxer for me, needless to say I prefer phyto and will be sticking with it. I found the affirm was thinning out my hair and explained that to my stylist who insisted that ther had to be some other reason and refused to change. I'm slowly heading down the self relaxing route