I Think I Should Be On Maury

[kaynewme]

Hold you head up high. be thankful for what you have. Time does eventually heal all wounds. Please dont become a pathetic whining begging chick. Dont show him that hes gotten the best of you. Be strong for you and your babygirl. Get that child support too.

 

[skatergurljubulee]

I also need to get over looking at him like an investment. Obviously, the person I've been to him and the things I've done weren't enough. I think once I can envision him out of my life (even if it was miserable while he was in it), I will be okay. The preceding post totally hit home, so I'm totally thankful.

It's going to be okay! And you're probably feeling a whole lot better without him in your life.
For me, when I invested in DH, he wasn't living at home with his mother, nor was he out all night partying. He had a stable job, paid his own bills, had a car and didn't tolerate foolish people. He also attended church on HIS OWN. He was a grown man who didn't have any children and never pressured me for sex. He met my mom (father had passed a year before we officially started dating) when we were still friends and she loves him and will tell everybody about what a great son-in-law (and father) he is.

I know that just because a guy is going through things doesn't mean he's no good, but I think that if you want to invest in someone, you've got to see HIM investing in himself first.

Your ex living at home with his mother (when he needs to be in school/working so he can move out) and staying out all night drinking doesn't look very promising. I can understand his behavior when you two were in HS given that he was still a child. But you've given him six years of your life. Has he ever owned a place on his own? He seems to go from you to another woman, to his mother and back to you again in one great big circle. Has he ever stood on his own two feet without the help of anyone? Doesn't he have any pride in his own ability to make his own way? Real men want to be dependable, honest, and trustworthy. They like to be able to give their word and know that others can trust that once it's given, it a bond. They don't accuse their wives and loved ones of being too nosy or blame them for their unhappiness. Especially when their wives/GF and loved ones have a right to know because they're in a relationship.

You deserve love, commitment, happiness and peace. So does that precious little girl! She needs an example of what a real man is in her life so that she knows when she sees a good man.

Being a mother as well, I'm sure you don't want your little princess to go through the same heartache. And she doesn't have to because her mother knows that she is worth loving and she deserves a good man! I know you know this! We women have radars, I think. You wouldn't have called him so much when he was out or MIA if you thought he was just having innocent fun. Your gut was talking to you. And when you called him, your suspicions (whether subconscious or not) were confirmed.

Follow that instinct, and your brain. Go to church and get that Word! I'm sure you're tired of going through the same rigamarole over and over. He seems to cause more trouble than anything! If he truly cared he wouldn't cause you this much pain by being so very trifling! And your little girl! What sort of example is he setting for her? Don't let him play you like that. Be glad he's out of your life and pray that he gets his crap together for his daughter's sake. And when you do meet a man worth investing in, be glad that you've gone to another level and left all that immaturity and discourse behind. And that good man that's just waiting for a woman like you will be more than grateful and happy to have you (and your daughter!) in his life that he won't let go.

I hope this helps, and I hope it leaves you feeling better.
You got me almost teary over here feeling your pain!
Just so you know, there are good men out there and you don't have to settle for the fools.

 

[healthynhappy]

Just go back and reread your post everyday until you see what we see.

You are being used, he doesn't love you, he's a loser, he's a liar, he's disrespectful, he's immature, he's a cheater, he's causing you pain, and on top of it all, he's doing these things in the presence of his daughter.

What does that say about him as a father? What is your daughter learning from watching her mother go through this? She's learning that its okay, even normal, for a man to treat a woman that way.

Is it really benefitting your daughter to have a person of this caliber around simply because he is her father?